JENNIFER JOHNSON: OH PLEASE ANSWER MY DREAMS >>>

I’m being teased with the promise of two of my very favorite things in the same place. Is it sweets and skirts, frosting and frocks, cakes and coats, jelly and jewelry? It’s better than all of that, it’s Cupcakes & Coutoure â€" what I can only imagine will be a divine experience.

You laugh, but a huge sign bearing those very words has been looming over Proctor Street since last year. When I first saw the gigantic sign resting in what I had presumed was someone’s front yard, I almost caused an accident (driving while gawking is bad). The boldly swirling, cursive black lettering jumped off the stark white 6-foot by 4-foot wooden placard. Pink cupcakes adorned opposite corners. The ultimate tease of lettering spelling out Spring ’09 at the bottom has long since been burned into my fashion-greedy heart (that was a bit dramatic, I know). Each time I have driven by over the past three months, I have grinded my teeth thinking its spring right now! There’s been no noticeable change to the ordinary looking house that should be a fabulous boutique already.

In the meantime, I’ve dreamt up a delirious scenario of what I think Cupcakes & Coutoure should be like. Upon approach, the boutique door opens and a shirtless Christian Bale (American Psycho, not Batman) winks at you, reaches for your hand and divests you of coat and handbag all in one smooth twirl. Racks and racks upon shelves and trunks and display cases full of the most outrageously wonderful and, oddly, everyday wearable garments and accessories glint, shine and sparkle dazzlingly. Shirtless Christian hands you off to an equally shirtless George Clooney (From Dusk Till Dawn) with that uber hot tattoo roping up his arm and onto his neck (yeowwww). George is holding a tray of bite-size completely fat- and calorie-free cupcakes iced with miniature masterpiece paintings on top. Everything in the boutique is your exact size and every pair of pants makes your booty look like it did senior year of high school. Impossible shoes are comfortable, as you find out when Christian and George each slip 6-inch stilettos onto your feet making your legs look 4,000 miles long. At check-out, the plain non-threatening cashier tells you how lovely you look and gives you 50 percent off because you were so nice to her. The shirtless masculine wonders carry packages to a waiting limo, courtesy of Cupcakes & Coutoure, and then get in a fist fight over who gets to hand you into the backseat.

[Cupcakes & Coutoure, 2510 Proctor St., Tacoma]