Open letter to Tree In Our Office Parking Lot

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November 6, 2009 at 10:35am

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BOBBLE TIKI: A SAD DAY >>>

Dear Tree In Our Office Parking Lot,

We see each other every day, sometimes twice a day. You know Bobble Tiki. You know that Bobble Tiki works below you. You sometimes whisper strange things to Bobble Tiki when heâ€™s forced to take out the garbage. You whisper endearing things such as "Your spring is a perfectly medium length," or strange things such as, "You and I are headed for the wood chipper soon." Bobble Tiki must tell you that he is saddened to see that you tried to take your life today.

Why Tree In Our Office Parking Lot? Why did you throw half of yourself to the ground?

Bobble Tiki takes a little blame for the situation. Bobble Tiki should have listened more closely. Bobble Tiki should have paid more attention to the signs. You tossed pine cones at Bobble Tiki daily. You covered his car with debris. You place your needles under Bobble Tikiâ€™s car wipers irritating the hell out of him.

Remember that Bobble Tiki has only shouted at you once. But now, Tree In Our Office Parking Lot, this game has gone too far.

You nearly crushed Bobble Tikiâ€™s car this morning. Why? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life spread below a jungle gym? You realize children will not respect you. They will pee on you without a second thought.

Bobble Tiki doesn't want to hash out all of the other recent troubles you have caused; Bobble Tiki believes we might still be able to work this out since half of you still stands.

One last request: could you stop throwing pine cones at Bobble Tikiâ€™s social worker when she comes to visit? Itâ€™s not helping.

Kind regards,

Bobble Tiki

Filed under: Bobble Tiki, Lakewood, Weekly Volcano,

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