MATT DRISCOLL: WINGIN' IT >>>

Yes, it's true - here at the Weekly Volcano we are friends with Roxanne (Murphy). You may need a last name to identify her, but we certainly do not (although we have called her by other names upon occasion).

This Saturday, the day after the Christianized and/or commercialized world celebrates Christmas with presents under the tree, overcooked turkeys and awkward family get-togethers, Doyle's Public House in Tacoma will help Roxanne celebrate her birthday - which is Dec. 26, for those playing at home - with a rock show worth its weight in stocking coal.

Tacoma's Goldwing, a slay first, ask questions later band of T-town troublemakers corralled by Rory Turner (who, now that I write this I realize I identified with a bogus last name a long time ago in a blurb that made the print version of the Volcano - journalistic excellence at its finest!), will share a bill with And Those Who Were Dragged. The night after Christmas show starts at 9:30 p.m.

In preparation for Saturday's show at Doyle's, I was able to catch up with Turner this week to get his thoughts on Goldwing's place in Tacoma, the importance of Roxanne's birthday, and which member of the band is closest to Robocop.

Here's what Turner had to say. This interview was posted in two parts - with the first installment hitting Spew on Monday, Dec. 21.

VOLCANO: Where does Goldwing fit in Tacoma? If Goldwing was an item off the Frisko Freeze menu, or a hot dog at the Red Hot - what would it be?

TURNER: If you asked Barham it would be the biggest heart attack burger from Frisko. I've personally invented my own hot dog at the Red Hot. It consists of: veggie braut, crushed Fritos, nacho cheese, and then topped of with coleslaw. It soaks up Rainier like a big delicious sponge. However, it will not make you any less drunk.

VOLCANO: What do you want for Christmas and are you expecting to get it? Or, did I just offend you with such a blatantly Christian assumption? If I did offend you, how offended were you earlier when I ask which was more important, Baby Jesus' birthday or Roxanne's?

TURNER: I don't think I could be offended if the question made me think about Wu Tang. 

VOLCANO: Talk a little about the bill for Friday's show - pretty solid. Are you guys already chummy with And Those Who Were Dragged? What can people expect out of this show?

TURNER: We actually share a guitar player (Barham). So, we have an awkward My-girlfriend-is-friends-with-her-ex-boyfriend-now kind of relationship. We pretend to be really nice to each other, but we really just want to keep him to ourselves. 

VOLCANO: In all seriousness, what are Goldwing's plans for next year - and what can fans of the band expect to see?

TURNER: Other than releasing a record, we're gonna try and not change the way we do anything. We like predictability. We've developed a formula: Pete and Dave are the "order" side. Whereas Barham and Myself are the "chaos" side. Which I guess makes Rusty "justice"... or Robocop.