TELEPHONE ROOM HITS THE BOTTLE NEXT WEEK >>>

Last year at a South Sound club I witnessed a bizarre twosome that wasn't 86ed for throwing drinks on people; instead a higher-up sent them to the downstairs bar, where they presumably would make less trouble (or at least make trouble less noticeably). The twosome was an redhead, I'm talking Irish-setter redhead, who looked like someone's maiden aunt - and her heavy friend, who had the tiniest eyebrows ever to meet a pair of tweezers.

By 9:30 p.m., the maiden aunt was grinding on every man in the downstairs bar, trying to get someone to dance with her. The customers weren't receptive, and an exodus began. Then she started touching my face. Sensually. Like five times. I was scared!

For the next hour, I watched her drunk dial — loudly — close to 20 people as she wobbled at the end of the bar. She still hadn't been kicked to the curb, even though every bartender in the place had begged the manager to pack her off. Did someone have plans for later?

That story popped into my noggin' after I read the Telephone Room's description of their next show, Drunk Dialing. Seattle artist Kristen Ramirez created "an installation of inscribed liquor bottles, each retelling a sordid tale of alcohol-fueled communication. The tales on the bottles are gleaned from friends and strangers via an Internet open call for drunk dialing anecdotes," the press release states.

The show opens Friday, Feb. 5 with an artist reception from 6-9 p.m. Telephone Room receptions are free and include refreshment. Good call.

Drunk Dialing will show through the end of February.

If Ramirez included a bottle from one of your sordid drinking experiences, what story would the bottle tell?

[Telephone Room Gallery, Drunk Dialing, Feb. 5-28, by appointment after the opening, 3710 N. 7th St, Tacoma, thetelephoneroom@gmail.com]