BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

After escaping last week to Texas - the land of Oak wilt, Lone Star Beer and George W. Bush - I'm back this week with what's sure to be another enthralling installment of The Prefunk.

How could it not be? "Enthralling" is The Prefunk's middle name.

For those unschooled in the whimsical methods of The Prefunk, here's how it works: Every Friday I choose a couple events happening over the weekend and provide suggestions for ways to prime you and your liver for them - in classic Prefunk fashion. Prefunking, after all, is the art of partying before the party - and it's this madness that The Prefunk is based on.

Then, to top it all off, I include a picture of a household pet drinking beer - the drunken icing on the drunken Prefunk cake.

Here we go...

KEITH SWEAT @ The Emerald Queen Casino

Saturday, March 27

If you're anything like me, you feel oppressed by shirt buttons - they're just always there, always trying to keep my sexy-ass chest down.

Keith Sweat feels me on this - I'm certain. There's a reason 75 percent of Keith Sweat photos available online feature unbuttoned dress shirts - the man's silky (dare I say Sweaty) chest just can't be contained.

On Saturday, proudly announcing his membership in the annals of hip-hop's gone-but-not-forgotten, Sweat will swagger into Tacoma for a performance at the Emerald Queen Casino. It's an evening that seems certain to be "Twisted".

PREFUNK: Sweat's musical resume was built in the ‘90s, so it's only appropriate to pay tribute to the bygone era before heading out the EQC.

Here are a few suggestions:

Freshen up on the first season of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Carlton jokes still hold water today.

Get your belly button pierced.

Get the "Rachel" haircut from Friends.

Can you say "Hypercolor"?

Dig out that old Kriss Kross record.

Log onto dial up AOL

Go to a rave.

Play Magic the Gathering

EASTER BUNNY PHOTOS @ The South Hill Mall

Sunday, March 28

You knew the Easter Bunny wouldn't stand it for long. Constantly relegated to second-class holiday icon status, the Easter Bunny watched for years and years as Santa Claus ate up all the good mall photography action. The Easter Bunny just sat there - all fluffy - biding its time, munching on carrots, and silently plotting revenge.

Well, the Easter Bunny mall infiltration is upon us, and this Sunday, a week before "He is Risen" once again, the Easter Bunny will hop up to the South Hill Mall in Puyallup for a day full of fun photo-ops for the kiddies. Be there, be square.

PREFUNK: Did you know Peeps pack a buzz? Well, they do - trust us. Just like that kid at sixth grade camp that got drunk off mouthwash in attempt to illustrate his maturity, if you down four or five boxes of yellow marshmallow bunny rabbits you will start to feel a little messed up. It's awesome. Trust us. And it'd be a great way to get your Sunday at the South Hill Mall off to a good start. Trust us.

Until next week...