The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

May 26: Sexy is as sexy does

"Photoshoot!" via Twitter for iPhone, 5:20 p.m.

April 18: Who uses just one  phone anymore?

"Left my phones in the car...just barely made the flight--thanks to the Sweet lady who rushed through security with my phones!!" via TweetDeck, 11:30 a.m.

April 11: Apolo Ohno shaves - but where?

"Quick workout in...arms feel like noodles. All shaved up- feeling fresh, clean, and crispy! :-)" via TweetDeck, 3:16 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Apolo Ohno (@ApoloOhno)

THEY'RE ONE BUSY INDEPENDENT THEATER >>>

The Grand Cinema will screen the rockumentry Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage June 10 and 12.  The film took the audience award at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York City earlier this month.

The Weekly Volcano suggests you purchase your tickets early for these two screenings. Without any marketing effort The Grand has already sold 162 tickets - mostly to folks in local Rush fan groups. You may purchase tickets here.

SOOCER, BEER AND MUSIC IN A TENT >>>

I'll be camped out at area bars during the World Cup 2010, which kicks off in South Africa June 11. Don't go thinking I'm some footie fanatic who knows what he's talking about: I just like watching the tournament - and enjoying a pint or two in the process.

This World Cup is the first to be held on the African continent, perhaps giving the African teams - Algeria, Cameroon, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Nigeria, and host South Africa - something like a home-field advantage. And perhaps when Ivory Coast takes the field at the Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium in Port Elizabeth for its first match against Cristiano Ronaldo, Simao, and Portugal on Tuesday, June 15, at 4 p.m. - that's 7 a.m. in Tacoma - perhaps you might be getting to work late, too - hitting a local pub on your way in.

The no-brainer stop is Doyle's Public House - even without their 200-person tent and accompanying high-definition big-screen television, which they'll erect June 8. Doyle's loves soccer, or footbul. As you'll note, Doyle's does regularly host the Sounders' Supporter Bus carting 54 soccer - and beer - fans up north to the games.

"The June 11 opening match Mexico vs. South Africa at 7 a.m. should be big, but USA vs. England the next day at 11:30 a.m. will be huge with Kasy Keller in attendance," explains Russ Heaton, Doyle's co-owner.

And yes, Doyle's WILL host the 4:30 a.m. games live - with a rebroadcast immediately following at 11:30 a.m.

Doyle's also loves shots, and they'll debut a new shot menu this Tuesday.

"Dave and I are also working on a new happy hour that we will launch during the World Cup," says Heaton. "And we are adding a $3 schooner available on all draft beers June 1 for those people who want another beer, but not a big one."

What? Not a big one? This is the World Cup, Russ!

The tent will remain up through July 11. As you know from your childhood, tents are fun. Doyle's knows this, too - which is while they'll be utilizing the tent for their regular live music nights while it's standing.

The Doyle's World Cup Music Fest opens with the Brian Redman Memorial Foundation concert "Rock In Peace 2 "Tuesday, June 8 at 3 p.m. Redman was a bartender at Doyle's before he tragically died in September 2009.

Other tent shows include Robin Moxey June 11, The Missionary Position June 12, World Cup Jazz-Thing featuring Cliff Colon's Motherfuckers, Kareem Kandi Trio and All Night Yard Sale June 18, Goldwing and Colonies June 19, Coldnote June 25, T-Town Hempfest Follow-Up with High Ceiling and Mighty High June 26, Ben Union Band July 3 and The Excellent Gentlemen July 10.

Of special note: The big-screen television will be available to the bands to enhance their shows if they wish. No joke.

Doyle's Public House

208 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma
253.272.7468

ON NO HE DIDN'T! >>>

Tacoma artist Jeremy Gregory posted a crazy photo on the Weekly Volcano's Flickr Group. He's pictured juggling an axe, hedge clippers and a machete. Doesn't he need his fingers to draw?

LINK: Weekly Volcano Flickr Group

LINK: Weekly Volcano Photo Hot Spot

FRIDAY, MAY 28, 2010 >>>

1. The drummer stands, legs rigid and splayed, mimicking the wide lines of the prone wooden drum. His left arm points to the heavens as his right arm traces an ever increasingly insistent tattoo across the taut drum's head with the straight wooden drum stick, or bachi. The group moves as one, weaving a story through percussive punctuations and bold, rolling rhythmic cadences. Then hip-hop, rock and electronica is weaved into the taiko drumming yeah boyeee! Welcome to On Ensemble, which will perform at 7:30 p.m. inside the Rialto Theater.

2. Stella Haioulani's Free Ya Mind open mic will include featured performer Charhys Bailey beginning at 7 p.m. inside Tully's Coffee at the Bostwick Building.

3. Showtime at the Dash Center: Citywide Talent Show is a talent competition where the audience response decides who stays and who's out, and a panel of expert judges decide the winner. It all goes down at 7:30 p.m. inside Lincoln High School.

4. With John Patrick Shanley's Doubt, newly founded Tacoma theater company Gold From Straw jumps directly into the deep end of the theatrical pool. Doubt is carefully designed to raise questions and avoid answers. The audience is permitted to come to their own conclusions, if they wish, but that is not the intent. Read our full review here. The show will be staged at 8 p.m. inside the Mecca Theater.

5. Floater, In Lunar Blue, and Rishloo perform at 9:30 p.m. inside Hell's Kitchen.

LINK: New movies open today

DINING NEWS, NIBBLES AND BITS >>>

Happy Birthday: SAX on Sixth Restaurant and Lounge celebrates its one-year-anniversary today through Sunday night with happy hour prices all weekend, a special menu and entertainment. Its anniversary dinner menu includes lobster risotto, shrimp fettuccini Alfredo or 16-ounce rib eye plus dessert for $19.95. And champagne will be free for the ladies.

New Wines: Water to Wine in Gig Harbor hosts a New Wines for Memorial Day Weekend tasting today from 3-6 p.m. After the tasting we suggest you walk next door to the new Morso wine bar.

Speaking Of Gig Harbor: The TNT Diner reports that Mizu Japanese Steakhouse opened in Gig Harbor.

Future Things Are Coming ... To ... Wait For It ... Gig Harbor: Brix 25 will host a 7 Seas Brewing beer dinner Thursday, June 17 with two seatings, 6 and 6:30 p.m. Chef Thad Lyman's five-course dinner with be paired with the Gig Harbor brewer's current releases. The dinner costs $60 per person. To reserve your spot, call 253.858.6626.

Food Matters: Bring b-ball to your kitchen with Suns paninis and Lakers-branded toast.

LINK: Restaurant coupons

LINK: Wine and beer tastings, dinners and events

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

LINK: Send us your restaurant and lounge news

LIVE MUSIC TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

Songwriters, Poets, Painters: The Tacoma Round is back in its 10th installment, featuring The Head & the Heart, Ritchie Young and Shenandoah Davis along with painters Dan Martin and Glory Cancro, poet Danny Sherrard, and dancer Joel Myers. If you're unfamiliar, picture three musicians and songwriters sharing the spotlight, swapping tunes and stories while creation of all kinds swirls around them. It's an awesome spectacle. Friday, May 28, 8 p.m., all ages, $8, The Pantages Rehearsal Hall, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5890 - Michael Swan

Hardcore: One of the Viaduct's crowning achievements has been the annual Rain Fest, a massive hardcore music festival spanning three days.  Since its inception in 2007, Rain Fest has served as a magnet for big names in the hardcore scene from the past and present. This year, Rain Fest has seven bands flying in, for a grand total of 50 bands over three days.  Big hitters on the stage include Terror, The Ghost Inside, Disembodied, Indecision, Trapped Under Ice and Stick to Your Guns.  In addition to other well-known acts, this year's show will also be showcasing 19 Northwest bands, including Tacoma locals Crooks to Kings, Sojourner and old-school northwest players Left With Nothing, who briefly reformed last fall to do a benefit show for the family of celebrated and tragically deceased Tacoma icon Brian Redman, the band's former bass player. 3 p.m. Friday, May 28, 6 p.m. Saturday-Sunday, all ages, single day $20-$25, three day pass $60, The Viaduct, 5412 South Tacoma Way, Tacoma, viaductvenue.com - Justin Miller

Rock: Under Sin is a hardworking band carving out a niche among the many faces of local rock. The band recently returned from SXSW and is putting the finishing touches on a debut album. These guys are always up for a gig and having a good time - the way rock ‘n' roll is supposed to be. Under Sin has two great shows lined up this weekend - the first of which is tomorrow at the Vault in Olympia with Atomic Outlaws headlining. Then, if you find yourself looking for some entertainment this Sunday, the band will plug in at Jazzbones with Dreams Jaded, Beyond the Grove, and Nineless. A bikini contest is also slated for the evening. Seems about right. With Atomic Outlaws, Friday, May 28, 7:30 p.m., The Vault, 425 Franklin Sr. SE, Olympia, 360.357.4721 - Potter

Electro Pop: For In Evening Air, Baltimore band Future Islands turned to Chester Gwazda, their longtime collaborator and the expert producer whose right-brain inventiveness has helped characterize Dan Deacon's mind-melting oeuvre. Their collaboration has yielded an album that skillfully juxtaposes snarling rawness with melodically-rich pop leanings. Lead singer Sam Herring vamps and growls his way through a series of synth-heavy ditties that evoke ‘80s pop and contemporary indie in equal measure. For an album that also finds room for ambient interludes and glimmers of gain-saturated texture, In Evening Air feels unexpectedly consistent, and you can expect that kind of reliability from Future Islands' live set, as well. How refreshing: now that LOST is finally over, we can use words like "reliable," "future," and "island" in the same sentence with utter sincerity. With Lower Dens, Long Mornings, Friday, May 28, 8 p.m., all ages, Northern, 321 Fourth Ave., Olympia, northernolympia.org - Jason Baxter

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

May 27: Apolo Ohno - man of the people.

"Beautiful run along santa monica beach.....stopped to talk with some street vendors who were closing.. taught me how to do pushups...lol!" via TweetDeck, 9:09 p.m.

April 5: Apolo Ohno needs a favor.

"Who's got the hook up on the Rihanna tickets?" via TweetDeck, 5:46 p.m.

April 3: Apolo Ohno sells potatoes.

"Have sum fun & cool spots with 1 of my sponsors- Washington Potato Comission..stay tuned :-) Gnight, I've an early flight tomorrow/this am" via Twitter for iPhone, 11:23 p.m.

March 27: Apolo Ohno shows some chest and gets dwarfed by that kid from Slumdog Millionaire.

"This young phenom needs no introduction. Great kid...awesome attitude!" via TweetDeck, 6:06 p.m.

Tune in next week for a new installment of the Weekly Volcano's Twitter Stalker.

R.R. ANDERSON'S BRILLIANCE STRIKES AGAIN >>>

That's all. I don't think I need to add any witty verbage here for the Andersons' comic genius to translate. 

However, I will say my wife and I are planning a counter photo shoot, where I'll be playing the part of the lovely Ms. Darcy.

OBLIGATORY LINKS

RR Anderson's Holistic Forgeworks

Another picture of Anderson's featuring the Weekly Volcano

A Web site dedicated to beards

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

It's here - the weekend! And not only is it the weekend - it's Memorial Day Weekend! Many of us have three full days off ahead, and whether you're headed out of town or simply going to enjoy the rain here in T-Town, it's time to get ready for the party - with another tasteless installment of The Prefunk: A weekend guide for you and your liver.

RETRO NIGHT ROCK and SKATE @ TIFFANY'S SKATE INN in Puyallup

Saturday, May 29

This one hits a little close to home for me. You see, back in the day, I went to Hilltop Elementary (RIP) in Edgewood. Every year, we held our elementary "skate nights" at Tiffany's Skate Inn in Puyallup.

You remember elementary school skate nights, right? The hokey pokey. The race (which I never won - since I was a horrible skater, but always participated in for the free small Cherry Coke ticket). And the awkwardness associated with holding a sixth grade girl's hand as you both stiffly circle the floor on four wheels.

Good times.

Tiffany's obviously realizes I'm not the only "grownup" with fond, nostalgic memories of elementary school skate nights. I'm also not the only person who rarely has plans for a Saturday night that doesn't involve takeout dining and couch silence - which is exactly the kind of monotony one can conquer with Tiffany's ever Saturday Retro Skate Nights. Think music hits from the '70s, '80s and '90s, rental skates, falling on your ass - and old-schoo, P-Town fun.

PREFUNK: I have sure pure memories of elementary school skate nights that it would seem wrong to tarnish them with recommendations of preparatory drinks or drugs.

That said, I was high on sugar 24/7 as a youth, so I see nothing wrong with main-lining a couple Pixie Sticks in the parking lot before heading in.

JAGUAR LOVE, JUICEBOXXX at THE DEN @ URBANXCHANGE

Sunday, May 30

The truth is, not everyone in town will be making a mass exodus this Memorial Day Weekend, and not every hip music fan will be at the Gorge for Sasquatch! Facts are facts.

And it's not as sad as it seems.

You see, for those smart enough to be sticking around, and especially the kids, the Den @ UrbanXchange dropped a last minute bombshell on the music scene that will totally make hanging around town worth it.

Sunday, after Wheelies and Makeup Monsters finish wreaking havoc on the stage - in a sonically awesome way - none other than Jaguar Love and Juiceboxx will hit the all ages music venue, surely packing all the indie sheakness both acts carry with them. Comprised of former members of Pretty Girls Make Graves and The Blood Brothers, predominatly featuring Cody Votolato (yes, Rocky's bro) and Johnny Whitney - Jaguar Love wrecked SXSW this year, and the band's intense set should play nicely within the Den's open embrace. The band will then head east to the Gorge to play Sasquatch! Monday afternoon. Juiceboxxx, an acclaimed rap artist from Milwaukee, has also experienced SXSW success and should add nothing but sheer awesomeness to the bill.

PREFUNK: Nothing. This show is awesome. In a sentiment I rarely mumble, there are no toxins needed for enjoyment.

See you next week. Enjoy your holiday.