Bring on the weekend >>>

Well, fuck. It's raining off and on and somewhat miserable outside. How am I supposed to start the weekly Prefunk - a preparatory weekend guide for you and your liver - if not by commenting on the lovely weather? I've employed that approach every week for the last month, at least - and I really didn't want to stop.

Oh, well. It is what it is. The Prefunk is coming your way, whether you like it or not.

Even better, we've got a NEW drunk pet photo this week!

For those who'd like to see their drunken pet forever immortalized on The Prefunk, send your best pictures to the Weekly Volcano for consideration. Remember, we're not encouraging you to force beer on your dog or cat, but if they already have a problem, well, what are you going to do?

DOCKYARD DERBY DAMES SEASON FOUR, BOUT THREE

Saturday, May 22

Last time around, it was Pierce College. This Saturday, Tacoma's infamous and awesome Dockyard Derby Dames will hijack the Foss Waterway Seaport for the third bout of the season - filling the typically mundane space with all sorts ferocious feminine C-blocks, J-blocks and checks. It's sure to be just as badass as you imagine.

PREFUNK: A "good friend of mine," back in my college youth, was a big fan of proclaiming the virtues of "mixing it up." To him, it was a lifestyle.  I vividly remember him trying to explain this theory on existence to a waitress at the Reef, as he tried fruitlessly to order a bourbon milkshake. She didn't get it.

Anyway, Saturday will be an interesting day at the Foss Waterway Seaport. Not only are the Derby Dames set to invade with a 6 p.m. bout, but earlier in the day the 2^nd Annual Clean, Green Boating Festival will be in full effect the same space. The Clean, Green Boating Festival will include Electric Duffy boat guided tours of the Thea Foss Waterway and Dragon boat rides.

Here's what you do: Smuggle a sixer in your jacket on to one of those Electric Duffy boat tours and take the edge off. When festival authorities inevitably confront you, noting that the reckless consumption of MGD while boating is EXACTLY THE KIND OF THOUGHTLESS BEHAVIOR the 2^nd Annual Clean, Green Boating Festival is intended to discourage, tell them to "suck it," then jump out and swim back. If you're out of shape ass happens to come across the right piece of drift wood, and luck is on your side, you should arrive back at the Foss Waterway Seaport just in time for the start of the Derby Dames bout.

Plus, there'll be a beer garden waiting for you. Awesome.

PIERCE COLLEGE JAZZ EXPO

Sunday, May 23

As you may have heard, "everything is jazz."

While that's a somewhat outdated sentiment - since the saying first surfaced research has shown only about 93% of things are jazz - still, there's something to it.

On Sunday, Pierce College is set to put on its annual Jazz Expo - now in its 37^th year. The Jeff Hamilton Trio, which includes drummer Hamilton (duh), Israeli-born piano badass Tamir Hendelman and bassist Cristoph Luty, will be the event's main draw, although the Fort Steilacoom Student Jazz Band will also have a (jazz) hand in the action.

It's a full day thing. From noon to 1 p.m., the Pierce College Jazz Expo will offer a "master class" at The Tacoma School of the Arts, 1118 Commerce St., Tacoma, and then the real fun will begin at 5 p.m. with the full blown Piece College Jazz Expo performance at the Stadium High School Auditorium.

PREFUNK: They say marijuana and jazz go hand-in-hand. Hell, even here at the Weekly Volcano we've long referred to our doobies in print as "herbal jazz cigarettes." Here's your chance to finally test out the longstanding companionship.

Burn one late Sunday morning then head out to the ‘master class" at noon. See what happens. Trust me. It'll be a good test. You'll be so jazz.

Or will you?

See you next week.