OK, OK - Bobble Tiki gets it. He's been a complete bum lately. Like Skippyjon Jones, maybe Bobble Tiki's been lost in spice - only the "spice" was actually booze, various other intoxicants, and copious amounts of self-loathing? But you probably wont be reading stories about Bobble Tiki's recent bender to your toddler at bedtime anytime soon. That'd just be fucked up.

Amazingly, even after finding the empty booze bottle in his desk, the empty cartoon of Newport Reds (what's up with those?) in his office trash bin, and an empty soul upon further inspection, the powers that be here at the Weekly Volcano decided to keep Bobble Tiki on staff. Bobble Tiki suspects it's because, during the heyday, the Swarner Bros erected a wooden statue of Tiki outside the office -- and they're probably just too damn cheap to replace it with a chainsaw carved Steph DeRosa. So the performance goes on ...

However, after returning from a successful, whirlwind, would-be-world-record-if-they-would-have-just-stopped-being-dicks-and-admited-Bobble-Tiki-was-cured-like-he-insisted-instead-of-making-him-jump-the-fence stay at Schick Shadel, Bobble Tiki is back at it - debuting a new column he hopes will reinvigorate his life like an erection lasting longer than four hours. Bobble Tiki can already feel the life pumping back into him. Slowly but surely...

Ladies and gentleman, "Three Questions with Bobble Tiki"

This week ...

Where Sails Meet Rails guitarist and frontman Jake Westhoff

[The New Frontier, Where Sails Meet Rails, with special guests, Friday, March 4, 9 p.m., cover TBA, 301 E 25^th St., Tacoma, 253.572.4020]