REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week...

The Backpack

So many things are found after hours on bar room floors.  Some may get claimed- ID's or wallets, for example. Other things go up for grabs, like a five-dollar bill or a pack of smokes, usually dispersed among the clean up crew. Other items are more personal, like clothing or sunglasses, which go in the lost and found box.

Then there are items where all you can say is, WTF??

Like this week's find ... the backpack.

It was a busy Arts Walk weekend and the bar was finally clean. We'd spent the last hour-and-a-half sweeping, scrubbing and washing dishes. My fellow employees and I had just settled down for microwave leftovers, when, lo and behold, what was this? Someone had left a backpack. It was barely visible in a dark corner underneath the touch screen machine, but it was there, beckoning us with its abandoned mystery.

So we grab it and it rattles. Curious, we open up the sporty white pack to find a collection of crushed cans of Pabst. Great. Another sneak-a-drinker.

We then open the front pouch, checking for some identification.

Instead, we see a mason jar lid.

Interesting. We pull out the jar.

"Gross."

"Eww."

"No way."

Varying words of repulsion escape our lips as we realize it's about 1/3 full of bubbly yellow piss.

While we get it that some people sneak drinks, we just can't grasp why this asshole couldn't make it to the urinal.

Remember, friends, don't shit where you eat. Or in this case, don't piss where you drink.

Until next week, cheers!

"BEHIND BARS" LINK HUB

LINK: Just Like Family

LINK: Say Cheese!

LINK: The importance of details

LINK: Exotic tastes

LINK: Lactose intoxicated

LINK: Thanks for playing!

LINK: After hours trivia

LINK: Bartending abroad

LINK: Oh puck!

LINK: 86'd

LINK: More Aural Adventures

LINK: Big & Rich

LINK: Tales From the Incident Log Book

LINK: The Tip Jar

LINK: Aural Adventures

LINK: Smooth Transitions

LINK: The Pooper