REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week...

The Christmas Card

Needless to say, bars attract creeps. It's the skilled bartender who can sniff these jerks out, give ‘em the boot, and keep the atmosphere comfortable for all.

But sometimes, these douches slither right under the radar, blending in with the regular folks and perving all the way.

Like a regular I had years ago. Let's call him "George."

George would come in, polite as can be, if not a little socially awkward. He was respectful, tipped on occasion, and never got too wasted. He seemed like a good customer to have.

Until "The Christmas Card."

Just like any business, bars collect their share of Christmas cards from patrons. This particular year was no exception; we had a handful of cards to open, read and hang.

We received a card from "George."  On the cover a snowman glittered and smiled. Inside the card read "Happy Holidays," followed by a message of thanks and good cheer.

And then the kicker: The pervert in "George" just couldn't stay hidden any longer. Scrawled in blue pen, underneath the warm wishes, "George" had written, "And tell Nikki my right hand hurts from thinking about her so hard."

Gross. George was 86'd.

Goes to show, you can't judge a book by its cover.

Or in this case, a Christmas card.

"BEHIND BARS" LINK HUB

LINK: The Backpack

LINK: Say Cheese!

LINK: The importance of details

LINK: Exotic tastes

LINK: Lactose intoxicated

LINK: Thanks for playing!

LINK: After hours trivia

LINK: Bartending abroad

LINK: Oh puck!

LINK: 86'd

LINK: More Aural Adventures

LINK: Big & Rich

LINK: Tales From the Incident Log Book

LINK: The Tip Jar

LINK: Aural Adventures

LINK: Smooth Transitions

LINK: The Pooper