I'VE GOT DREAMS TO REMEMBER >>>

The other day in Oleanna rehearsal, I expressed my theory that David Mamet hates actors. "Mamet loves actors," our director countered, "the way Sondheim loves singers."

Some of you laughed really hard at that. You others aren't theater geeks, so why are you reading this?

My annoyance with Mamet stems from lines like, "I'm sorry...are: we: yes. Bound by...Look: before the other side goes home, all right? 'a term of art.' Because: that's right."

Not only is it grammatically illegal and tougher to memorize than a Tokyo phone number, it also includes not one but two emphases through italics. Doesn't that seem just a tad condescending? As an actor, do I really need Mamet spoon-feeding me every vocal inflection and hesitation? Can't I be trusted to bring some imagination to the table?

Of course, I'd be less annoyed if I didn't have to memorize over half of an 80-page script, for a role that weighs in at (I'm guessing) 4,000 words--most of which were seemingly chosen at random from a box of refrigerator poetry magnets. I can tell you from personal experience that the ability to memorize declines after age 25. I'm 43. In my undergrad days, I could memorize a page of dialogue every two minutes or so, including Shakespeare. Now I seem to find myself in one impossible monster after another. (Frost/Nixon, in which I had a relatively minor role, was a welcome respite.) My costar, Deya Ozburn, had months with the script; I was a late replacement, so I've had two weeks. We preview in ten days.

Just typing that made me tear up.

I will get this stuff memorized somehow, because I have to. The characters and interaction are working, and our director and stage manager are on point. I'm confident we'll have a perfectly respectable show. In the meantime, have pity on our overworked souls and overtaxed memories. I used to roll my eyes when people in theater greeting lines asked, "How did you memorize all those lines?" as if that were the hardest part of acting. Now I get it. At my age, it's pretty much the despicable part. How Richard Burton and Peter O'Toole did it drunk I will never understand.