GOTSA TO HAVE MORE BELL >>>

The Harmon group in Tacoma is feeding 60 soldiers from the 1st Special Forces Group, along with their spouses. Not only will dinner and beer be provided, but also each Soldier will be receiving a dozen roses to give to their loved one. Finishing the night in style, each couple will be a guests aboard a sunset cruise from Commencement Bay to Gig Harbor.

That's awesome.

Pat Nagle, co-owner, says the event is filled with soldiers who have just come back from deployment, or are getting ready to leave.

For those interested in donating, visit their Tacoma locations; The Harmon Hub located at 203 Tacoma Ave, the Harmon Brewery & Eatery at 1938 Pacific Ave., and The Tap Room, at 204 St. Helens. Those who donate will be given a voucher for the restaurant, like a free appetizer.

If you donate at The Hub, a staff member will ring a bell followed by cheers from the entire staff.

The dinner will take place at their Tap Room location, July 28, from 1 to 4:30 pm. For more information, visit harmonbrewingco.com/.

FRIDAY, JULY 22, 2011 >>>

1. During today's afternoon Walk Tacoma/Walk Poetic, participants will join local poet Luke Smiraldo as he leads the walk and guides his flock to think and write about their surroundings. It's  based on a similar event in Portland, Ore., and organized by Downtown on the Go - an organization set on reducing single-occupancy vehicles in downtown Tacoma and encouraging commuters to consider options beyond their cars. To read Kristin Kendle's full story, click here.

2. NXNW Metal Fest kicks off a weekend full of volume and good times today at Backstage Bar & Grill.

3. The "Pitbull of Comedy" Bobby Slayton kicks off a weekend stand in Tacoma tonight with two shows. Find Rev. Adam McKinney's interview with Slayton here.

4. Well, hot stuff. Just in time for today's Summer Garden Party at the W.W. Seymour Conservatory in Wright Park it decided to actually ACT like summer!

5. In what promises to be one of the greatest sights and sounds Tacoma has seen in some time, tonight Not From Brooklyn, Blanco Bronco and Rooftop Warrior will play rock ‘n' roll in the middle of a skating rink - specifically Wheelz Skate Arena in Fircrest. It's called Rock & Roller. If that doesn't sound awesome you're dead inside.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music tonight in the South Sound

REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week...

The Missing Toilet Paper

After a two-week vacation from Behind Bars, I wanted to come back with a kicker of a story. I wanted bring the bartender side of Gov. Christine Greigore's refused entry to Hannah's bar and Grill in Olympia. I wanted to crack jokes and get a good read. 

But, it flopped. Plus, that was so 2008 anyway.

So, instead I bring you the story of the missing toilet paper. Which, mind you, I haven't told a soul about - until today. Normally, I have no shame. I've told stories of mixing white Russians with my breast milk. I've told stories about having sex on pool tables, and punching people in the face. But, one thing that does embarrass me is - shhh!  - my period.

So, here goes.

It was a rainy, busy night downtown. I was doing my thing, slinging drinks, flirting, you know, when I felt my tampon bleed through. (Sheesh, did I just say that?) So, I grabbed a quarter and headed to the ladies room. Of course, we're out of tampons.

Now, rather than snoop around and find some woman who might be carrying a cotton torpedo, I simply did what every woman has had to do at some point in their menstruating years - I wadded up a ball of one-ply toilet paper and wedged it into my panties.

Work carried on through the night, and at the end of my shift, I went to relieve my bladder. To my horror the wad was gone. Not in my pant leg, not in the toilet. Gone.

As I buried my face in my hands, my mind raced with all the possibilities. Oh no! What if it had shimmied down my pant leg right when I was reaching to serve that cute guy a drink? What if it had landed on the floor, its white and red in stark contrast to the black mats? What if it had escaped over the top of my Converse while I was picking up dishes - its stained surface taunting me as I left it behind for all customers to see?

I had to look for it. So, I swept high and low that night, keeping my eye on the floor. But I never found it.

It still mortifies me today - and creeps me out to think of why I couldn't find it. Maybe someone else stepped on it, tracking it into the night. Maybe some weird sexual sociopath picked it up and added it to their collection. Who knows?

Well, thanks for listening to my story, dear readers. Telling you was rather cathartic.

Until next time, cheers!

LINK HUB: The "Behind Bars" collection

SPACEWORKS IS RAD >>>

Last night as part of Tacoma's Third Thursday Art Walk four new Spaceworks-affiliated studios opened their doors the public as part of a celebratory art block party. Participants in the party included Toy Boat Theater (a new theater troupe who Christian Carvajal will have a story on next week), musician and composer Nate Dybevik and Fab-5's latest venture, Fabitat.

On board the Art Bus as usual, the Volcano's Publisher Ron Swarner snapped some photos and shot some video of Fabitat's contributions to the good times. Swarner reports high energy and a wealth of smiles.

BACK FROM VACATION >>>

Corrigan Gommenginger has announced his intention to run for Pierce County Assessor-Treasurer. According to reports in the News Tribune, Gommenginger is only 26 but has been serving on the boards of nonprofits for eight years. He says he works as Director of Finance for a Tacoma nonprofit. According to the News Tribune he has declined to disclose which organization "at his employer's request."

While his "secret employer" seems like a red flag to me, many in the community seem welcoming of Commenginger's candidacy. County Councilmember Tim Farrell is also seeking the office, and it's likely incumbent Dale Washam will too --  if he isn't ousted before then.

North Tacoma attorney Jack Connelly is the first candidate to file for the 27^th District Senate seat being vacated by the retiring Debbie Regala. Connelly is a talented attorney, and with 16 months to campaign has plenty of time to introduce himself to the community.

Rumors are swirling in progressive circles that despite running as a Democrat, Connelly is both pro-life and anti-gay marriage. If true, one wonders how such conservative convictions will play in a widely progressive district. 

Connelly is currently alone in the field, but won't be for long. 27^th District Representative Jeannie Darnielle told the Tribune she expects either herself of Rep Laurie Jinkins will run for the office. Either one of them would likely be the favorite.

To read the full article click here.

ONLINE CHATTER >>>

Today's comment comes from Lisa in response to Nikki Talotta's latest installment of "Behind Bars."

Lisa writes,

Wow--not sure anyone needed to know that story. I thought this column was supposed to be about funny stories that happen to you as a bartender or patrons of the bar? Not for oversharing your own personal embarassing deeds. This is not a confessional.

MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL COVERAGE AS DRUNK AS YOU >>>

Yesterday was a big day for baseball in the Pacific Northwest.

No, the Seattle Mariners didn't hit the free agent market and pick up those one or seven bats they desperately need. And no, our beloved Rainiers (50-49) didn't suddenly spring ahead ten games in the standings and find themselves in a divisional dead-heat with those pesky Reno Aces.

We're talking ‘a big day' in the completely quantitative sense. As in, "Man, yesterday there was a lot of baseball to watch."

If our calculations are correct, Northwest baseball fans could have spent eight hours and sixteen minutes watching Mariners and Rainiers baseball yesterday. Eight hours and sixteen minutes. From the moment the Mariners started on their twelfth loss in a row to the second the Rainiers closed the books on their doubleheader against the Tuscon Padres, eight hours and sixteen minutes of baseball passed through the air.

Now, I doubt very many Pacific Notherwesterners watched or listened to the entire eight hours and sixteen minutes of yesterday's ballgames. It's possible some die-hards did. But for most, eight hours of baseball is a bit too much.  Even so, it's nice to know the option was there.  Soon the dark days of winter will sweep down upon us and the only baseball action available will be a single Buster Olney tweet. Those are dark days, my friends. Everyone should store up the remaining baseball months like a hungry squirrel hording fatty nuts.

Oh, and just for the record, one hour or so of yesterday's baseball was actually part of a Rainiers' rain delay. So, really, it was like seven hours of field time. We chose to say eight because it sounds cooler.

-Just for fun, here are a few things one could have accomplished in eight hours and sixteen minutes. That is assuming one didn't watch baseball yesterday.

-Watched the classic war movie Tora! Tora! Tora! three and a half times.

-Taken a leisurely drive from Tacoma to Mount Shasta, California.

-Gone on six Ride the Ducks in Seattle tours.

-Answered half of Matt Driscoll's emails.

-Had sex approximately 116 times.

Cool stuff, huh? But always remember, watching eight hours of baseball is time well spent.

-Speaking of time well spent, the Rainiers laid a hurting on the Tuscon Padres in yesterday's doubleheader. The Rainiers won the first game by a score of 9-2 and the second by a score of 8-1. Outfielder Carlos Peguero led the Rainiers with three hits in the first game. The second game was dominated by starter Luke French's pitching. French allowed one run on seven hits, continuing his recent outburst of success.

-Golden boy third baseman Kyle Seager is expected to be back in the lineup tonight when the Rainiers square off against the Salt Lake Bees. Seager was sent down from the Mariniers in exchange for relief pitcher Josh Lueke. It's hard to say who we like seeing better in the Rainiers' lineup, Seager or Lueke. Wait. I see it now. Seager. We definitely like Seager. 

-The News Tribune is reporting that the 2011 Tacoma Rainiers are on pace to shatter their franchise record for runs.  That's all well and good, but is the News Tribune reporting on the plight of missing toilet paper in ladies' restrooms? We think not. Take THAT, News Tribune!

-With the Rainiers heading into Salt Lake we should probably mention that tonight there's a Zero Fatalities Post-Game kids run at Spring Mobile Ballpark. Following the game kids 12 and under get to run around the bases. This has us thinking: why aren't there base races between Minor League teams following each game? We'd love to see Rainiers' left fielder Mike Wilson chugging around the base paths. 

Tonight's game against the Bees starts at 6:05 p.m. We advise everyone to store up for the winter by listening to Curto call the game on South Sound Sports 850 AM. 

LINK: The "Rainiers Minute" collection

HIGHLIGHT FROM OUR SUMMER GUIDE >>>

You might see Poulsbo and think it's time to buy an RV, but you're in luck because there's more to the story. Poulsbo is a quaint seaside town on Liberty Bay just a bit northwest of Bainbridge Island, but, best of all, this is the place to get your inner Viking on.

Calling itself Little Norway, the small downtown area has an old-world feel and many shops, antique stores, restaurants and galleries to explore - you can buy everything from a unique engagement ring to cheesy Got Lutefisk? shirts. Don't miss ducking into one of the bakeries on the main drag of Front Street to grab a traditional Norwegian pastry or some lefse.

Within a few blocks is also the town waterfront where you can sit or stroll whilst watching boats come into and out of the marina. There's even some nightlife in this cute area - Tizley's Europub is worth checking out and is filled with Scandinavian treats to delight your drunken senses. Poulsbo is about an hour drive from Tacoma, making it a great half- or whole-day trip, but there are also plenty of hotels if you want to explore the idea of Weiner Schnitzel for breakfast.

For more details, go to visitkitsap.com

SATURDAY, JULY 23, 2011 >>>

1. Want to celebrate Tacoma legend Dave Takata's birthday? Get to the New Frontier Lounge tonight, where Mahnhammer, Goldteeth and CFA will get the party started.

2. The City of Lacey is featuring a sing-along version of the 1978 film Grease as part of its free summer movie series tonight at Huntamer Park. That means there'll be words on screen ... as if you needed them.

3. If you're going to be strung out, you may as well be strung out on twang. Enter the Twang Junkies, who perform tonight at Bud's Bar & Grill in Milton.

4. It's a big night for comedy in Tacoma as Bobby Slayton, Toby Roberts and Alysia Wood will all bring the laughs.

5. Getting drunk at Jazzbones is easy. Tonight, it'll be even a little easier as the the Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey Launch Party offers up SweetKiss Momma and Aces Up.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music tonight in the South Sound

CHECK THEM OUT >>>

The Grand Cinema received around 60 submissions during the Tacoma Film Festival poster competition. While most of the entries were from the Tacoma area a few came from outside the city - including past TFF poster winner and Paris resident David Mackey (the Godzilla poster below). This year's theme/tagline was "CATCH IT FIRST".

You can check out the submitted posters - which are hanging in The Grand's lobby - during regular hours.
 
A panel of Tacoma Film Festival staff and volunteers will chose the winning poster soon. We hear The Grand folks have grown tired of posters that include Mount Rainier and the Narrows Bridge.

Here are a few submitted posters hanging on The Grand's walls:

LINK: Go see a movie at The Grand