REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week...

Little Black Book

Hello again! This week takes us on a tour through the little black incident log book, where bartenders communicate, warn about weirdoes and vent.  Here are a few snippets of humor and disgust.

12/01/04

Weird dude. (High?) Glasses. Drinks Rainier on ice and is no longer welcome. Continues to creep all the females out. We asked him to leave, difficulty ensued. Once finally gone, large portion of the bar cheered and thanked us. I see no reason to allow him in when his $2 costs us $50.

5/10/08

A 40-ish couple came in. Both seemed sober. I served them each a drink and the woman immediately went into a stupor. She couldn't walk, and all she could say was, "I love you...Fuck off!" They called a ride and left relatively peacefully.

11/24/08

I kicked out two young guys who are in town from Bellingham for Thanksgiving. One is about 5'4" with two moles by his eye. The other was around 5'8", skinny, with a beard. They were on the patio talking about "homos" and flashing their sad, flaccid penises. We will definitely recognize them if the come back.

12/20/08

The snow is no longer welcome, unless it apologizes.

Hope you enjoyed a look in the little black book. Until next time, may I suggest you try a little Bulleit Rye on the rocks. It is super smooth and buttery. Cheers!

LINK: The Behind Bars collection