THE WEEK'S FREEBIES JULY 18-25 >>>

If legendary cowboy Shane were in the South Sound for the week, he might ride along the Puyallup river, past Eric Anderson's moving van, past the ships docked along Schuster Parkway, around the sewer work at the closed Puget Gulch, then hitch his horse outside the future site of the Tacoma Food Co-Op, jump on the phone and help the Co-Op reach its fundraising goal. He would end his night at neighboring The Red Hot with a spirited game of Dominos, and then fall happily asleep next to the outdoor fireplace at Hotel Murano. He would wake up naturally the next day at sunrise, and do it all over again, adding a stack of flapjacks from Old Milwaukee Cafe and the free events listed below to his routine.

MONDAY 7-18: The week starts off on a wild note when the Tacoma Cult Movie Club presents a night of films centered around the theme: "He's A Very Naughty Boy - You Might Want To Give This Bad Boy A Spanking" beginning at 7 p.m. inside The Acme Grub Cage. We have no idea what that means, but we're sure Shane would side with TCMC co-producers Rev. Colin and Mat Hat Tobin.

TUESDAY 7-19: Shane might head toward American Lake Park for the rootin'-tootin'-est Lakewood's Brightest Star local talent competition finals at 6:30 p.m. Shane would do what comes natural, shooting his guns in the air after every song. No one in the crowd would flinch. 

WEDNESDAY 7-20: Shane's personal repression and remorse could surface if he attended Author Chellis Swenson Jensen reading of her book, Meet Mrs. Annathena Gilly Gully From Puddle Rumple Tilly Willy, at 10:30 a.m. inside the Garfield Book Company in Parkland. Afterward, all the kids would yell "Shane, come back!" but only because the cowboy stole their temporary tattoo stickers. Also Wednesday, Abby Road Live Beatles tribute band at Pioneer Park in Steilacoom from 6:30-8:30 p.m.

THURSDAY 7-21: Shane would have to push his horse Thursday. Naturally, Shane would attend the screening of archival films showing Schafer Brothers Logging Company operations in the 1920s at 7 p.m. inside the bitchin' new University Place Library. Shane would irritate the crowd with his mouth harp. Next, he'd gallop toward Tollefson Plaza before the 8:30 p.m. showing of this year's "Best of The Grand's 72 Hour Film Competition" on a giant outdoor screen. Afterward, he'd discover sake at neighboring TWOKOI Japanese Restaurant and spent the rest of the night on guard at the base of the 20-foot high welcome figure.

FRIDAY 7-22: The man, the myth, the legend, would probably make an appearance at the free outdoor screening of Shane at Donkey Creek Park in Gig Harbor at 9 p.m. No doubt Shane would be forced to spend the night in a Gig Harbor slammer because of his inability to deal rationally with the Good To Go system.

SATURDAY 7-23: At 2 p.m. Shane would rope his horse in front of King's Books for Gudrun Aurand's class on repairing torn paper. Fascinated with King's owner sweet pea's outfit of the day, the two probably would become close friends baking muffins into the wee hours. Also Saturday, Tacoma's EnviroHouse hosts a free 10:30 a.m. workshop titled "Garden Design, Soils & Pest Management."

SUNDAY 7-24: Someone Shane would get bit during NADOi endorsed dog trainer Jeanne Hampf's 1 p.m. free workshop on "How to Keep Your Dog Happy and Safe at the Dog Park" at the Gig Harbor Branch Library. Slumped over on his horse, Shane would follow the same path that he took entering the South Sound.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound