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Let's think about this. Dia de los Muertos goes down Nov. 1-2 and everyone will have Day of the Dead stories on Nov. 3. Some will be wild; some will be amusing, and - depending on what sort of crowd you run with - many could be incoherent. Yours should be different. Because, you know, everybody should be different. You celebrate Day of the Dead starting Monday all the way through Nov. 2. You call it 17 Days of the Dead. Here are a few suggestions that should knock you dead. You're welcome.

MONDAY, OCT. 17: You know the story: Ebenezer Scrooge is a miser who couldn't give a fig about his fellow man. He's dismissive toward his nephew, his only remaining family member; abusive toward his impoverished employee, Bob Cratchit; and just a miserable wretch in general. In the days leading up to Christmas 1843, Scrooge is haunted by his deceased business partner, Jacob Marley. This is not a social call. Marley - doomed to forever walk the earth alone, in death as he did in life - warns Scrooge that he has one chance to mend his wicked ways, and so Scrooge will be visited by three ghosts who will teach him the lessons of Christmas. You were born to play Marley. Give the Tacoma Little Theatre a call right now at 253.272.2281 and sign up for Monday's night's auditions for A Christmas Carol.

TUESDAY, OCT. 18: The My Lai massacre, which took place on the morning of March 16, 1968, was a watershed in the history of modern American combat, and a turning point in the public perception of the Vietnam War. Investigative journalist Seymour M. Hersh is best known for exposing the cover-up of the My Lai massacre, as well as the recent series he wrote on the Abu Ghraib prison scandal in The New Yorker. Hersh will lecture on his career at 7 p.m. in the University of Washington-Tacoma's Philip Hall. It's free to attend, but advance registration is required.

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 19: Are microplastics floating in the ocean killing organisms when ingested? What happens when microplastics enter the food chain? Dr. Joel Baker, science director at Center for Urban Waters in Tacoma, will share the answers, for free, in a 7 p.m. lecture at the WET Science Center in Olympia.

THURSDAY, OCT. 20: You've always had a fascination with the Grim Reaper and art. Why not combine the two? Once again the Tacoma Art Museum is partnering with Centro Latino and Proyecto MoLÉ once again to celebrate Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), which includes the annual construction of altars or ofrendas (offerings) dedicated to the spirits of the deceased. During Third Thursday Artwalk - with free admission to TAM from 5-8 p.m. - the altar artist will discuss their works from 6-7 p.m.

FRIDAY, OCT. 21: OK, you have "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi down pat in front of your mirror. It's time to go all the way - a live karaoke band. At 8:30 p.m. every Friday night at the Varsity Grill, the Rock-Bot band backs karaoke singers on more than 450 songs. Who knows, maybe you'll knock 'em dead. Or die on stage.

SATURDAY, OCT. 22: The Fireside Story League will tell spooky stories about the dead the whole family will enjoy at 2 p.m. inside the Bonney Lake Pierce County Library.

SUNDAY, OCT. 23: Tacoma's favorite Victorian-style glass conservatory offers a botanical montage of madness, paralysis and death Tuesday through Sunday. The exhibit Wicked Plants: An Exhibit of the Deliciously Dark Side of the Plant Kingdom features deadly flora that would please a homicidal 19th-century botanist. The W.W. Seymour Botanical Conservatory exhibit is inspired by Amy Stewart's bestseller Wicked Plants: The Weed that Killed Lincoln's Mother and Other Botanical Atrocities, a much-needed compendium of plants that rack up body counts. Go see it from 10 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., if you dare.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound