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Contemplate if you will - and as you most likely have - your past Oscar experiences. Lonely. Nachos with not enough cheese. Asleep on the couch before the Best Original Screenplay winners are named.

Wake up, little starlet! You can endure the four-hour show by exchanging snarky comments with your fellow film enthusiasts in a movie theater environment. The Grand Cinema hosts an Academy Awards Party Sunday, Feb. 26 at the Theatre on the Square in downtown Tacoma.  The doors open at 4 p.m. for the 5 p.m. preshow telecast of nominees walking down the red carpet, in which otherwise talented people such as Hillary Swank and Leonardo DiCaprio engage in inane chatter with an inane interviewer.

Bobble Tiki is here to tell you it's going to be on helluva party. For $25 ($20 for Grand members), attendees receive dinner by Maxwell's Restaurant, dessert by Corina Bakery, and several chances to win raffle prizes throughout the evening. By correctly guessing the most Oscar winners, you can win the coveted Golden Ticket, which allows you free movies at the Grand for an entire year.

Finally, there's something positive about the Academy Awards. Bobble Tiki watches the ceremony now to amuse himself with how wonderfully predictable the Academy is - and also to see what ridiculous thing Helena Bonham Carter will wear this year, or what stupid thing Steven Seagal will do. (Bobble Tiki always thought an Exit Wound was that numb feeling in his butt after he leaves a Seagal movie.)

For those who treat Oscar night as another excuse to dress up, the Weekly Volcano promises more than $100 worth of gift certificates for best costume. Yup, the Weekly Volcano is sponsoring the costume contest.

Bobble Tiki hopes Steven Seagal attends this year's Academy Awards. Bobble Tiki wants one cutaway shot of Seagal, brooding in the back corner of the upper mezzanine, eating a box of JuJuBees and trying to see over Carrot Top's hair. It'd be the crowning touch on the world's most anticipated show. 

[Theatre on the Square, Sunday, Feb. 26, doors at 4 p.m., $20-$25 includes dinner, dessert, cash bar, 915 Broadway, downtown Tacoma, buy tickets here]