Weekly Volcano Blogs: Walkie Talkie Blog

March 26, 2012 at 10:41am

JUDGING BY THE TRAILER: ‘Wrath of the Titans'

"WRATH OF THE TITANS": It will be all the talk in South Sound hair salons.

Recommend Blog Post
Total Recommendations (0)

A BATHROOM BREAK ISN'T OUT OF THE QUESTION >>>

Note: It is time, once again, to provide a definitely biased and possibly unfair review of a trailer for an upcoming film.

Here is something that the lunatics that actually liked the Clash of the Titans remake will be interested to hear: this time around, they've styled Sam Worthington's hair to look more like Harry Hamlin's. So, you know, take that, people who were appalled by the slick remake of the kitschy classic - they're trying, alright? Maybe take a chill pill?

Of course, everything isn't all Jheri curls and tzatziki sauce for Perseus. There's still all these monsters and stuff, you guys! As you'll recall from the first movie (but probably not, because really? You actually saw that shit?), Perseus is half-human and half-god. Because of this, he is required to furrow his brow in nine out of 10 situations and have stern talks with a crazily bearded Liam Neeson (of kicking-people-to-death-in-Europe fame).

Look, Perseus, I know that "clash" probably took a lot out of you, and you were probably all like, "Finally, now I can relax and pop in a DVD of Mamma Mia, my favorite Greece-based adaptation of a Swedish pop band's musical," BUT THIS SHIT JUST DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. These titans are pissed - even wrathful - and it's up to you to stop it, or whatever.

Here's a tip, though: Even though Liam Neeson tells you that being half-human "makes you stronger than a god," I want you to know that that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I actually now have a headache from rolling my eyes so hard.

Long story short. Actually, that's my note to the people behind these movies. This story is evidently pretty fucking looooong. Tighten it up? I'm not looking forward to the inevitable follow-up, The Passive-Aggressive Silent Treatment of the Titans.

Comments for "JUDGING BY THE TRAILER: ‘Wrath of the Titans'" (2)

Weekly Volcano is not responsible for the content of these reviews. Weekly Volcano reserves the right to remove reviews at their discretion.

User Photo

Joe Izenman said on Mar. 26, 2012 at 10:49am

I'm holding out for Turkish Bath of the Titans.

User Photo

Ryan said on Mar. 26, 2012 at 1:02pm

Or how about when Perseus uses the quadratic equation to defeat monsters by solving for 'x'... Math of the Titans

Leave A Comment

(This will not be published)

(Optional)

Respond on Your Blog

If you have an Account you can not only post comments, but you can also respond to articles in your own blog. It's just another way to make your voice heard.

About this blog

News and entertainment from Joint Base Lewis-McChord’s most awesome weekly newspapers - The Ranger, Northwest Airlifter and Weekly Volcano.

Recent Comments

Walkie Talkies said:

Thanks for posting! But I want say that Walkie Talkies are really required while organizing fun...

about COMMENT OF THE DAY: "low brow’s" identity revealed?

Humayun Kabir said:

Really nice album. I have already purchased Vedder's Album. Listening to the song of this album,...

about Eddie Vedder’s "Ukulele Songs" available today - and I don’t hold a candle to that shit

AndrewPehrson said:

Your post contains very beneficial content. Kindly keep sharing such post.

about Vote for Tacoman Larry Huffines on HGTV!

Shimul Kabir said:

Vedder's album is really nice. I have heard attentively

about Eddie Vedder’s "Ukulele Songs" available today - and I don’t hold a candle to that shit

marble exporters in India said:

amazing information for getting the new ideas thanks for sharing a post

about 5 Things To Do Today: Art Chantry, DIY home improvement, "A Shot In The Dark" ...

Archives

2024
January, February, March, April, May, June
2023
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2022
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2021
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2020
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2019
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2018
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2017
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2016
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2015
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2014
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2013
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2012
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2011
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2010
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2009
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2008
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2007
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2006
March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December