SUNDAY, JAN. 26 2014 >>>

1. Between 1963 and 1984, Bigfoot hosted more than 50 roasts, 12 of which appear on The Bigfoot Celebrity Roasts Collectors Edition DVDs, and they offer a time capsule of comedy spanning from deep woods throwbacks Rocky and Bullwinkle, Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har, and Ludicrous Lion right up through some of the era's hottest comics, including Huckleberry "Huck" Hound, the Fraggles and Nipsey Russell. The formula was simple: An announcer welcomes a bevy of roasters - some of whom, such as standup comics Ronald McDonald, Easter Bunny and impressionist Rich Little were basically regulars - followed by host Bigfoot and the Man or Woman of the Hour. The gang chortles amid a haze of cigarette smoke and everyone hoists drinks like it's the fall of the Island of Misfit Toys, but what really redlines the Wayback Machine are the jokes. Sure enough, every roast, someone would rag on Bigfoot's blurriness. "It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, ‘Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here,'" slurred the Winter Warlock in 1972. Fast forward to 2014, Bigfoot will step down from the host podium and into the roastee chair at 8 p.m. in the Tacoma Comedy Club will make history by hosting the celebrity roast of the most notorious creature to ever maybe exist. Ten comedians - including Lochness Monster, Unibomber and Jesse Pinkman - will roast Bigfoot, and each other.

2. Digital media pioneer Jennifer Steinkamp fabricated a vividly seductive digital artwork following a tree through the four seasons as though blown by unpredictable winds, causing the branches to twist and clench. Titled "Mike Kelley" - to honor her late mentor and teacher, Los Angeles-based artist Mike Kelley - the artwork charts the passage of time by following the path of a single tree as it cycles through a year of change in 11 minutes. The exhibit closes today at the Tacoma Art Museum. Read Alec Clayton's full feature on "Shimmering Tree" in the Music and Culture section.

3. Want to freshen up your storytelling skills? Drunken Telegraph Tacoma storytelling series producers Megan Sukys and Tad Monroe will be at King's Books at 2 p.m. to give you experienced instruction, as well as to hear pitches, should you be interested in performing at the next Drunken Telegraph event.

4. We haven't had much snow in the hills, so the Top of Tacoma Bar & Cafe is throwing a mid-season Pray For Snow Party at 6 p.m. Everybody's Brewing, Boneyard Brewing and Bleach are a part of the party team. There will be a sweet raffle, drink specials and more.

"It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark ... and we're wearing sunglasses." If this quote rings a bell, you've probably seen The Blues Brothers (1980). As original cast members of Saturday Night Live, Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi created the characters of Jake and Elwood Blues, leading to a successful live album, the film and two more albums before Belushi's untimely death in 1982. The Official Blues Brother Revue captures the original spirit of the film and those first albums, with Wayne Catania and Kieron Lafferty inhabiting the immortal Jake and Elwood, and backed by their eight-piece Intercontinental Rhythm & Blues Revue Band. Catch it at 7:30 p.m. at the Washington Center. 

LINK: Sunday, Jan. 26 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

GRAB A CUP & READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 1.27.14 >>>

The U.S. military launched an airstrike in Somalia on Sunday against a militant leader who was linked to al Qaeda and al Shabaab, and was considered a successful operation. 

Officials say a suicide bomber has killed four Iraqi troops west of Baghdad while attacks elsewhere in the country killed four people.

The Senate Armed Services Committee will dive into the most controversial part of last month's budget deal this week when it holds a hearing on the $6 billion cut to military pensions.

Raytheon is challenging Boeing to build the so-called Family of Advanced Beyond-Line-of-Site Terminals, or FAB-T.

The Army's chief of staff said contrary to what many people may think, the Army has been doing anything but slowing down and becoming stagnant, despite cash flow and end-strength issues.

The Global Hawk UAV looks to be a big winner in the US Air Force's fiscal 2015 budget submission, an impressive turn of events for a program the service has spent years attempting to kill.

Starting in April, female soldiers will be eligible to serve in about 33,000 positions previously off-limits to them because of a now-canceled policy designed to keep women out of combat.

The 36th and 86th Aerial Port Squadrons are seeking some high-speed, motivated airmen to offer a helping hand out on the flightline as air transportation specialists - Air Force Specialty Code 2T2X1.

Military watchers are hoping the president's State of the Union speech Tuesday will feature lengthy passages about the war in Afghanistan, the recent reductions in military retirement pay or the veterans claims backlog.

Dr. Phil Gibson, supervisory physical scientist with the Molecular Sciences Engineering Team at Natick Soldier Research, Development and Engineering Center, helped Burton Snowboards pick a fabric for uniforms that the U.S. Olympic Snowboarding Team will wear at next month's 2014 Winter Games.

Advising and assisting their Afghan National Security Forces counterparts remains the primary objective of the 2nd Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment "Warrior," for the remainder of their deployment. ?

Retired Air Force Col. Robert Freniere unintentionally became the public face for homeless veterans after a Philadelphia newspaper wrote about his struggle to find work.

The Grammy Awards celebrated outcasts and outsiders, lionizing a couple of French robots, white rappers and a country gal espousing gay rights, and a Goth teenager who's clearly uncomfortable with the current themes in pop music.

Tegan and Sara weren't at The Grammys - but their commentary was easily a highlight of the night.

Led Zeppelin won a Grammy.

A star "just" went supernova in a nearby galaxy.

BBC shares timeline of likely events through next one hundred quintillion years.

Huh, there really is a biological explanation for why women have colder hands than men.

How to make the world's most expensive cup of coffee.

Finally, someone put together a cool compilation of the best wingsuit flight videos.

MONDAY, JAN. 27 2014 >>>

1. Led by Brazilian-born vocalist Adriana Giordano, the septet En Canto busts out the music as rich and varied as the people and places of Brazil: forró and baião from the northeast, bossa nova and choro from Rio, and sambas from every city and town. Catch the septet at 8 p.m. in The Royal Lounge in Olympia.

2. In 1619, there were only a handful of slaves in the United States — 20 Africans landing on the shores as indentured servants, with tenures up to seven years, then freedom. Four decades later, because of Eli Whitney's cotton gin, the U.S. slave population soared. By the mid-1700s, there were 260,000 slaves just in Virginia. The westward migration attracted Americans with varied socioeconomic experiences from both Northern and Southern states. Charles Mitchell, born a slave, was brought from Maryland to Washington Territory in 1853. Citizens all over the territory had opinions about a possible Civil War, influencing their opinions about Mitchell's status as a slave. In this climate, Mitchell, at 12 years of age, made a break for freedom, nearly starting a war between the U.S. and Canada. Eva Abram - a storyteller, writer and actor - will recount Mitchell's story, discussing how ideologies travel geographically and examine whether moving to the Washington Territory affected individuals' opinions on slavery, from noon to 1 p.m. in the Lacey Timberline Library.

3. Monday, that most put-upon of weekdays, has gotten a bad rap. Yeah, going back to the office stinks, but the first day of the week also happens to be the best one for a good, invigorating talk. Think about it: You're still fresh from your weekend, and you haven't yet had your joie de vivre trounced by the working week. Lucky for you, Tacoma online magazine Post Defiance hosts a contributor's forum at 6:30 p.m. in King's Books. It's your chance to learn the backend of the mag and ask questions. It should be pretty damn cool, if you ask us (and really, by reading this, you are asking us).

4. Tacoma band Mojo Groove will mix rock and cool blues with some funky dance tunes and alternative polka at 8 p.m. in The Swiss.

5. On any night of the week, one can meander past the main bar in Olympia's China Clipper Club Cafe, to the back room where a disco ball, stage, stellar PA system, extensive song list, savvy DJ and lively, often tipsy, crowd scribbles on tiny, colorful paper then waits ... for Clipper Karaoke. There are number karaoke nights around the South Sound, but only one karaoke night that has been named Best Karaoke in Thurston County three years running in the Weekly Volcano's Best of Olympia issues.

LINK: Monday, Jan. 27 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

If I had to choose one single foodie trend to commit to for the rest of my days - the cupcake craze, fro yo frenzies and others - it would undoubtedly be the slider swing.

Pop-in-your-mouth size burgers and sammies are America's tapas - small, exciting food that allows me to try a bunch of different tastes.

Maxwell's Speakeasy's BBQ Beef Short Rib Sliders ($12) are in my top three sliders of all time. These delectable sliders arrive as a pair of perfectly pillow soft buns packed with tender and flavorful, moist shredded beef short ribs with a housemade barbeque sauce whispering a touch of tang and a bit of smokiness. Maxwell's kitchen then tops it off with a horseradish sauce and Lynnae's sweet and spicy pickle chip, adding a balanced complexity. There's a lot going on in this mini package - and it's all good.

These delicious wee sandwiches are paired with your choice of housemade fries, chips or coleslaw.

MAXWELL'S SPEAKEASY & LOUNGE, 4-10 p.m. Monday-Thursday, 4 p.m. to midnight Friday, 5 p.m. to midnight Saturday, 454 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.683.4115

The 36th and 86th Aerial Port Squadrons are seeking some high-speed, motivated Airmen to offer a helping hand out on the flightline as air transportation specialists - Air Force Specialty Code 2T2X1.

Senior Airman Madelyn McCullough of the 446th Airlift Wing Public Affairs writes:

The aerial port squadrons, both headquartered at [by the North Gate], play the role of the airport for the 446th Airlift Wing. These individuals are critical pieces of the global airlift mission, who ensure proper, inspection, documentation, packaging, and loading and unloading of cargo on C-17 Globemaster III and other military transport aircraft.

"We ship everything," said Tech. Sgt. Tyler Akers, 86th APS air transportation specialist who has deployed twice to Iraq and twice to Afghanistan in his eight years with the unit. "Everything goes through us. We provide the last stand for all checks and balances. Without us there would be no continuity with any cargo coming in. We're putting a tag on it and making sure it's getting to the right people and that everyone is going through the right process to get their cargo in the air."

Read McCullough full story here.

Dialing 1-900-MIX-ALOT, this is Nerd Alert, the Weekly Volcano's recurring events calendar devoted to all things nerdy. I myself am a Star Wars fan, mathlete, and spelling bee champion of long standing, so trust me: I grok whereof I speak.

SATURDAY, FEB. 1

"Oh, my God, Becky. Look at her butt. It is so big." Don't even act like you don't know what comes next, playa. You know that like me, you've high-tailed it for the dance floor to extol the virtues of an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face. You, too, have begged for a piece of that bubble. So fellas (yeah?), can I get a "hell, yeah" for Seattle's own Anthony Ray, better known as Sir Mix-a-Lot? One-hit wonder he may be, but I'm reminded of a story I heard about Chuck Berry. A critic once scoffed that Berry essentially wrote the same song over and over. "Yes," his colleague replied, "but we all know that song." Anyway, the Mack Daddy's throwin' a gig in town this weekend, and even white boys got to shout. ...

SIR MIX-A-LOT, 8 p.m. Saturday, Jazzbones, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, $15, 253.396.9169

SUNDAY, FEB. 2

My friends and fellow geeks, I never thought it would come to this, but the unthinkable has happened. We must now deal with an alternate reality, aka the craziest timeline. In other words, it's time we wrapped our heads around sportsball. Civic pride in our beloved Pacific Northwest demands no less. (It's like when we all gave in and ate quinoa.) In those rare moments when you departed World of Warcraft for the Mart of Pizza Pockets, you may have noticed people walking around in eye-catching raiments of navy and green. Such folk are allied with House Seahawk. The raptors of Seattle have emerged from the NFC playoffs victorious, and now must defeat the orange-clad steeds of Mount Doom (OK, the High Plains of Denver, Colo.) in a loud form of ground-based Quidditch World Cup. Perhaps you've seen something about this on Reddit?

Anyway, the last (and only) time the Seahawks made it to the big game was eight years ago, when they lost to the Steelers, 21-10. If you've somehow managed to miss Seahawk fever all season, please understand there's a reason Seattle's fans are so heavily invested. The team boasts the NFL's best defense, as reflected in a heart-stopping interception by cornerback Richard Sherman ([no, not the same Richard Sherman who wrote "It's a Small World (After All)" - we've been over this and over this) that crushed the hopes of San Francisco two weeks ago. The problem here is the Seahawk offense, which, while certainly capable, is nowhere near the best in the business. Ergo, their opponents tended to load points on early in each game, losing ground only in the second half when Seattle's punishing defense wore them down. Meanwhile, the Denver Broncos wield the highest-scoring offense in NFL history, an air-and-ground assault commanded by veteran (37-year-old) quarterback Peyton Manning.

Look for much wailing and gnashing of teeth as the Broncos strike hard and strike fast. Think of this as the grim Hoth battle of our epic saga. The outcome will still be very much in doubt at halftime. Sports mages prophesy this game could be decided by as little as a single point, and those of us who screamed through the NFC championship's final moments can all too easily believe it. That game was tighter than the E Street Band.

If the Seahawks win, expect Seattle to explode into confetti, Gorp, and shards of IPA bottles. This is, after all, the city that lost its collective mind over an international trade meeting. It's the Naboo of America. If, however, as the bookies would have it, the Broncos eke out a victory, expect thousands of fair-weather fans like myself to crawl back into our holes and leave you in peace again till autumn.

But seriously, though ... wouldn't it be amazing if we won? At football? A SPORT?! The mind reels.

SUPER BOWL XLVIII, 3:30 p.m. Sunday, FOX TV and a jock bar near you

Until next week, may the Force be with you, may the odds be ever in your favor, and DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT ME! I'm the best nerdist in the game! When you try me with a writer like McKinney, that's the result YOU GONNA GET! L.O.B.!

Jack Johnson has announced his summer headline tour in support of his sixth studio album, From Here To Now To You, which includes an Aug. 23 show at the Gorge Amphitheatre.Amos Lee and Michael Kiwanuka will open.

Tickets are $38.50-$80, and will go on sale at 10 a.m. Friday, Jan. 31 at Ticketmaster, LiveNation.com or on the ringy-dingy at 1.800.745.3000.

The 3-2 Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 7th Infantry Division, is on a month-long exercise at the National Training Center at Fort Irwin, Calif. Each morning, the 3-2 SBCT soldiers awake to temperature that mark the high of the day at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. This morning, the 2-2 Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 7th Infantry Division, scrabbled around JBLM in 31 degree frigid temperatures, preparing to make the journey to the Yakima Training Center, where the morning temperatures will be much colder.

Staff Sgt. Bryan Dominique, with the 2-2 SBCT, joined the frigid fun, documenting the action:

"You're gonna fight the weather. It's gonna be Feb. in Yakima, so historically there's 40 mile per hour wind and the average temperature is in the 30s during the day, and it will dip into the 20s at night. That right there alone will toughen you up," said Maj. John Gibson, operations officer for the 1st Battalion, 17th Infantry Regiment, 2-2 SBCT.

The 2-2 SBCT is starting its some 60-day exercise at the Yakima Training Center in eastern Washington today, and the soldiers of 1-17 Inf. are leading the charge.

Read Dominique's full report here.

>>> Sgt. Roary McClain (front), vehicle commander with Company C, 1st Battalion, 17th Infantry Regiment, 2-2 Stryker Brigade Combat Team, and Spc. Christopher Clanton, combat medic with Company C, 1-17 Inf., tie down a litter prior to a convoy movement to the Yakima Training Center, Jan. 27. Photo credit: Staff Sgt. Bryan Dominique

Nine soldiers in the U.S. Army World Class Athlete Program are members of the U.S. Olympic Team that will compete at the 2014 Olympic Winter Games, scheduled for Feb. 7 through 24 in Sochi, Russia.

The United States Olympic Committee officially announced the team today.

The Soldier-athletes named to Team USA are 2010 Olympic gold medalist in four-man bobsled Sgt. Justin Olsen, 26, of San Antonio; 2010 Olympic bobsledder Capt. Christopher Fogt, 30, of Alpine, Utah; 2010 Olympic bobsledder Sgt. Nick Cunningham, 27, of Monterey, Calif.; bobsledder Sgt. Dallas Robinson, 31, of Georgetown, Ky.; 2006 Olympic luger Sgt. Preston Griffall, 29, of Salt Lake City; and luger Sgt. Matt Mortensen, 28, of Huntington Station, N.Y.

Tim Hipps with the Army Installation Management Command filed a report:

Three WCAP coaches also will represent the U.S. Army in Russia. Team USA luge coach Staff Sgt. Bill Tavares, 50, of Lake Placid, N.Y., will be making his sixth appearance in the Olympics, including once as an athlete and five times as a coach. Team USA skeleton coach Sgt. 1^st Class Tuffield "Tuffy" Latour, 45, of Saranac Lake, N.Y., will make his fourth trip to the Olympics. He has coached U.S. and Canadian men's and women's bobsledders to Olympic medals. Team USA assistant bobsled coach 1^st Lt. Michael Kohn, 41, of Myrtle Beach, S.C., is a two-time Olympic competitor who will make his Olympic coaching debut at the Sochi Games. He won a bronze medal in four-man bobsled as a WCAP athlete at the 2002 Olympic Winter Games in Salt Lake City.

USA-1 bobsled driver Steven Holcomb, 33, of Park City, Utah, is the reigning Olympic champion in the four-man event. He spent seven years in the U.S. Army World Class Athlete Program.

The 230-member team is comprised of 105 women and 125 men - the largest athlete delegation for any nation in the history of the Olympic Winter Games. The United States will be represented in all 15 disciplines across seven sports, and up to 94 of the 98 medal events that will be contested in Sochi.

Read Hiips' full story on the Army representation at the 2014 Winter Olympics here.

Flip on any food or travel network and most likely chefs are battling mano a mano in a duel to the death - or at least through dessert.

NetShed No. 9 - the Gig Harbor waterfront creative breakfast and lunch destination opened by Thad Lyman and Katie Doherty, the husband-wife team behind Brix 25 - will launch its version of a chef battle in February. They call it Fight Club, and the judges are you.

According to Fight Club hype, "While the chefs' battle, you are the judges; determining the fate of these culinary contenders. Enjoy three course of food from each chef, and the camaraderie of fellow judges as you rate the chef's on their skill, ingenuity, and flavors. You will be rooting for a winner and cheering for the losers. Cooking is a passion for these chefs, and they are chomping at the bit to show off their expertise and skill."

Tickets are $42 per person, and very limited due to the joint's size. Beer and wine will be served, so hire a babysitter to watch over your kids' fight club at home.

FIGHT CLUB, 6:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 6, NetShed No. 9, 3313 Harborview Dr., Gig Harbor, $42, 253.858.7175