Weekly Volcano Blogs: Walkie Talkie Blog

January 22, 2014 at 12:33pm

Judging by the Trailer: "I, Frankenstein"

Here’s what you will see in the trailer: Aaron Eckhart with some gnarly scars across his face, giant winged beasts and Gothic architecture that looks straight out of a video game. Nice.

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Well, we all knew it would come to this, didn't we? And you know what? You're ALL guilty! Years after making jokes about how the trend of sex-ifying monsters (a la the Twilight saga) would lead to sexy mummies and swamp things became so rote that they established themselves as unspoken truths, we now find ourselves gazing deeply into the abyss. And what stares back at us? None other than the grim visage of I, Frankenstein.

This time around, the object of our increasingly complicated monster fetish is not a hairless 20-something, but rather a ripped Aaron Eckhart, so, I mean, there's that I guess. Eckhart - oh once great Eckhart - will soon be sitting on talk show couches telling lots of stories about how fun and grueling it is to do your own stunts, while no doubt remaining tellingly silent about the rest of I, Frankenstein.

Before we get too deep into this, I just have to point out the fallacy of the film's title. As we'll recall, Frankenstein is not the name of the monster, but of the monster's creator. Aaron Eckhart does not play Dr. Frankenstein. I'm just saying: I, Frankenstein's Monster.

Anyhoo, there is precious little to talk about with regards to what actually happens on screen in this trailer. It appears that there are legions of Frankensteins set to conquer the world, along with some predictably cheap-looking gargoyles, and it's up to Eckhart to stop them. Turning the story of Frankenstein's monster on its head (read: this ain't your grandpa's Frankenstein), this time around the monster is no lumbering hulk, but a sleek, chiseled movie star who has super "strength, speed, and stamina," and who rocks the blazer-and-hoodie combo, natch.

To end on a happy note: there doesn't appear to be too much psychosexual interplay between a chaste teenage girl and her paranormal boyfriend, so that's something. Now, let's all take our cold showers and await the sexy Sasquatch movie.

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