Suff'ring very midsummer madness, this is Nerd Alert, the Weekly Volcano's recurring events calendar devoted to all things nerdy. I myself am a Star Wars fan, mathlete, and spelling bee champion of long standing, so trust me: I grok whereof I speak.

So Punxsutawney Tom kept repeating the day, right? Till he figured out a way to save Emily Blunt from the squiddies? Or am I still confused? I bet I'm still confused. I feel confused. I've been drinking.

THURSDAY, JUNE 19

Thursday marks the premiere of A Rock ‘n' Roll Twelfth Night at Harlequin Productions - well, not really, as the troupe has already staged its homegrown extravaganza (which it adapted from a story by, I don't know, some guy) three times before. Still, if music be the food of love, rock on! Duke Orsino's a King now, Countess Olivia is a Material Girl and Sir Toby Belch demands cakes and ale with his rubber biscuit. Plus, you'll need to look at actor Christian Doyle twice to make sure the great John Lennon hasn't returned from (imagining there's no) Heaven. Harlequin's summer music revues are always a heap of fun, and this one's a particular Olympia favorite.

A ROCK ‘N' ROLL TWELFTH NIGHT, 8 p.m. Thursday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday through July 20, Harlequin Productions, 202 4th Ave. E, Olympia, $25-$38, 360.786.0151

>>> A Rock 'N' Roll Twelfth Night rehearsals rocked at Harlequin Productions. Photo courtesy of Facebook

If Shakespearean rock opera doesn't blow a soothing draft up your pantaloons, Monty Python's Spamalot continues at Lakewood Playhouse (253.588.0042), while Tacoma Little Theatre presents a view from behind the cameras of Gone with the Wind in the 2004 dramedy Moonlight and Magnolias (253.272.2281).

Speaking of plays, it's kind of strange there aren't any major new movie releases this weekend, though we are getting two adaptations of successful Broadway shows. One is Jersey Boys, ported over from the jukebox biopic of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. It's directed by Clint Eastwood, because why the hell not. The other is David Ives' script-to-screenplay scorcher Venus in Fur, a study in sexual perversity. It's directed by Roman Polanski, who should know.

SATURDAY, JUNE 21

Are you in Clone Club? Please tell me you know what that means. Please, please tell me my wife and I aren't adoring Orphan Black in local isolation. This BBC (by way of Canada) series boasts the supernaturally talented Tatiana Maslany as an entire sorority of clones, each more distinctive and surprising than the last. This year, to mix things up, one is female-to-male transgendered. Oh, and by the way, somebody shot Marvin in the face! - if, by "Marvin" I'm obliquely referring to Max Headroom. Look, I know that's confusing, but I'm trying not to give too much away for folks who're just now discovering the show. Trust me: it's one of the most binge-worthy televised entertainments on our continent, so you owe it to yourself to catch up before tonight's 9 p.m. finale on BBC America. Don't make me sic Helena on your Prolethian ass.

Ka-chow! If you don't know whose uninspired catchphrase that is, your kids do. Lightning McQueen, Tow Mater and their internally combustible friends return in Pixar's Cars, screening tonight as a free drive-in movie courtesy of LeMay - America's Car Museum. Oh, and if you start craving movie snacks, check out the sweet eats cooked up by Pacific Grill.

CARS, dusk (about 9 p.m.), Haub Family Showfield, 2702 E. D St., Tacoma, free, 253.779.8490

Until next week, may the Force be with you, may the odds be ever in your favor, and may you crush the lead role in Blood Ties: The Musical. After all, it's not Cats!