BOBBLE TIKI: PIERCE COUNTY LIBRARY RULES >>>

Didn't you already just know? Didn't you already sort of see it coming?

That is to say, didn't millions of us already sense, deeper down, with all this mad orgasm of technology, all this incredible ability to stay in constant touch, and how you can travel almost nowhere in the world save for remote parts of Orting where you cannot be tracked or e-mailed or download an app â€" didn't you know that the library would always have your back by keeping up with the technology and maintain its mission of giving you stuff for free?

Yeah, Bobble Tiki didn’t know, either.

Pierce County Library System announces a free career assistance service, in cooperation with Resume Maker:

Check it out here, right now, on your phone, as you float down the Green River on your new kickass raft with your best friend Chuck while drinking Pabst.

RON SWARNER: TACOMA ART PLACE BENEFIT WAS INSPIRING >>>

The red carpet was rolled out for the "Inspired Elegance" Fashion Show Saturday night at the Hotel Murano in downtown Tacoma.

The event â€" produced by Linda Danforth, Desiree Flerchinger and Angela Jossy â€" was a fundraiser for Tacoma Art Place, the non-profit Hilltop community-based art center that offers workspace, classes and low-cost equipment to artists and the general public.

After a stroll through the silent auction and dessert table, patrons watched aspiring fashion designers from Goodwill's Work-force model their own creations â€" with the help from professional designers â€" made from fabric and recycled items from Goodwill. The kicker? The designs were created in a 24-hour period. The models/designers â€" Blanca Lopez, Jeanne Courtney, Patricia Driscoll, Carnella Rashiyd, Chris Genereux and Denise Armstrong â€" also received a style makeover from Embellish Multi-space Salon.

A video captured the pride, and nervousness, of each designer before they walked the runway. All six stories were inspiring.

Artist Robbi Firestone kept the crowd lively as emcee.

Tacoma Art Place's mission is to provide access to equipment and training that will allow more people to affordably explore their creativity and artistic ability. To contribute to its mission, visit its Web site.

TAP is open 1-8 p.m. Wednesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturday, noon-6 p.m. Sunday at 1116 S. 11th St., in the Hilltop Tacoma neighborhood.

Special thanks to Steve Naccarato of Steve Naccarato Photography for snapping shots of the event, including the shots on this post.

Another special thanks must be extended to one of the professional designers' table of friends for the added entertainment. Your attitude, fashion, dark shades and turban (head injury?) were a hoot.

SUZY STUMP: FUNDRAISER FOR TACOMA ART PLACE >>>

What’s chic today is passé tomorrow. And a few months down the road, it’s nothing but trash. So ultimately, isn’t fashion just trash?

Tonight, fashion hits Tacoma as “Inspired Elegance," in collaboration with Goodwill’s Work-force, takes that premise to its logical conclusion by presenting couture made completely from fabric and recycled items from Goodwill. Local professional designers have teamed up with aspiring ones from Goodwill’s employment aid service to create fashion designs â€" start to finish â€" in 24 hours.

After a makeover at Embellish Multispace Salon, the designers will take their creations to Hotel Murano’s runway as Tacoma nibbles on dessert, tosses back wine and bids on cool stuff â€" all to benefit Tacoma Art Place.

Call 253.756.5544 right now to squeeze in.

[Hotel Murano, Saturday, July 25, 7:30 p.m., $75, 1320 Broadway Plaza, Tacoma]

ADAM MCKINNEY: URBAN ARTS FESTIVAL BENEFIT TONIGHT >>>

You love Tacoma. You’re fooling no one.  And, though you may be wallowing in denial, it would be more than a little unappreciative for you to not give back to the city that so readily accepts your scorn.

Tonight, The Swiss is hosting a benefit show for the Urban Arts Festival, an organization that’s working hard to make Tacoma a little cooler. There’s going to be plenty of bands and beer, and it’s only 5 dollars.

Lucky you.

[The Swiss, with Jr. Hill Band, Ten Miles of Bad Road, Blame It on the Girl, evergreenOne, the Gullywhumpers, 10th & Commerce, Sunday, July 19, 7 p.m., $5, 1904 Jefferson Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2821]

Photo: evergreenOne/MySpace

SUZY STUMP: MUST. BE CAREFUL. >>>

Back in October I wrote about a blood drive in association with Cascade Regional Blood Services. I got in big trouble. I wrote this:

Um, it was a coupon for a pint not an actual pint or something. BFF Jamie did not want to be my BFF.

Well, this time I’m going to let the press release speak for itself:

The Harmon is next door to Cutters. They have lots of beer. Just saying.

SUZY STUMP: FEEL THE CITY BREAKIN' AND EVERYBODY SHAKIN' >>>

The disco era was fun while it lasted. But it turned out some amazingly bad songs and fashion.

Don’t tell that to ChrisMarie Photography and The Robert Daniel Gallery, though. They are hosting a disco Saturday night â€" complete with best dressed and best moves contest â€" to raise money for Project Resilience, a photographic documentation of resilient women.

Why disco?

Why not. There are about 1.5 billion cows in the world. Where there are cows, there will be cowbells. The cowbell remains the universal party-down signifier in disco and beyond.
So throw on the white three-piece suit and wait behind the velvet ropes Saturday night. Your measly $5 will nab you a drink and the chance to be King/Queen of the disco.

[The Robert Daniel Gallery, Saturday, June 6, 7 p.m. to 1 a.m., $5, 2501 S. Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.227.1407]

MICHAEL SWAN: IT WILL BE FIERCE AT THE BLUE MOUSE FRIDAY >>>

These drag divas will be fierce.

Tyra Banks without the word "fierce" is like Paris Hilton without "That's hot." Celebrities co-opting colloquialisms is an absurd alliteration, but it's an even more ridiculous opening for this blurb. I apologize.

Anyway, turn off the E! and find some wild entertainment Friday night at The Blue Mouse Theater â€" where real boys looking like real women get hot and fierce. AIDS Housing Association of Tacoma hosts a fund-raising drag show Friday night titled Until The Fat Lady Sings featuring some of Puget Sound’s most recognizable female impersonators: Lady Chablis, Mz. Victoria Eyesli, Mahogany Knight, Busty Palmer, Katrina Duall, Polly Ester and many more.

[The Blue Mouse Theater, Friday, May 29, 6:30 p.m. VIP reception ($20), 7:30 p.m. us poor folk ($10), 2611 N. Proctor, Tacoma, 253.752.9500

RON SWARNER: ANOTHER REASON TO LOVE MASA >>>

Masa restaurant on Sixth Avenue in Tacoma is donating 25 percent of your purchases today to the family of Gayl Bertagni. Bertagni died Friday in a freak accident.

A memorial for Bertagni will be held Saturday, 3 p.m. at The Swiss.

RON SWARNER: THE NIGHT WAS THE BEE'S KNEES >>>

In lean economic times, treating yourself to a glamorous night out can be hard to justify: Couldn't you have just as much fun drinking PBR at home? The answer is no, but it might mitigate some of the guilt if you knew the money went to a good cause. That's where last night's Star Chefs comes in. The $150-and-up tickets to Broadway Center for the Performing Arts - 1920s-themed "speakeasy" party benefited the Center's performing arts education program.

After dining on small plates prepared by Brix 25, Maxwell's Speakeasy, and A Grand Affaire Catering and nabbing impressive auction items in the Pantages lobby, patrons carried their drinks outside to the stage door where a password on their auction tags allowed passage into a magnificent 1920s nightclub - white tablecloths, low lighting, flappers, red hot jazz, and steak and lobster from El Gaucho.

Kevin Joyce, co-founder of Teatro ZinZanni in Seattle, hosted the night, controlling the flow of the silent and live auction and introducing his acrobats and trapeze artists who performed amazing feats about the stage.

David Fischer, Benjii Bittle and the brain trust behind the Broadway Center did an amazing job.

Kevin Joyce emceed the night.

Teatro Zinzanni's Caribe girls posed as flappers early in the evening.

Bourbon shrimp shooters prepared by chef Colin Dudley of A Grand Affaire Catering.

Broadway Center Deputy Executive Director Benjii Bittle policed the benefit.

Shredded duck confit with spicy grilled prawns by chef Matt Colony of Maxwell's Speakeasy +Lounge.

Marinated chicken and wild mushroom lettuce wraps with Rogue River blue cheese and romaine maki rolls crafted by chef Bryce Lamb of Brix 25.

El Gaucho bartender Silvia Tapia kept the wine glasses full.

Kate Shanaman kept me out of trouble. OK, she didn't.

Um. ...

Protesters picketed outside the Pantages Theater.

The Pantages stage was transformed into a 1920 speakeasy.

El Gaucho chef Kevin Daft prepared Chateaubriand with lobster and béarnaise sauce, mashed potatoes and asparagus as the main entrée.

Cory Tabuni performed feats of physical strength and balance.

The Caribe girls tossed the flapper outfits and took to the air.

MICHAEL SWAN: SCREAM!

Life is uncertain.  Eat dessert first. 

The Weekly Volcano owns stock in that maxim.

As a newspaper, our days are make-it-or-break-it, depending on which stories and photos come through. 

But beyond our editorial hive, we know Fate and her fickle friend Mother Nature have itchy fingers, dying to reach out and touch others. 

So, we couldn’t agree more in putting the sweets before the Brussel sprouts.

We recommend you do the same.  To coax you to our way of thinking, may we suggest 31 cent ice cream.  Baskin Robbins offers 31 Cent Scoop Night tonight beginning at 5 p.m.  You don’t have to sing.  You don’t have to juggle.  Just log on to baskinrobbins.com and discover which store has the goods for 31 cents. Proceeds benefit the National Volunteer Fire Council’s National Junior Firefighter Program.