BEST OF OLYMPIA >>>

When you are very, very tired, when you have worked so long at your computer(s, because of course you bring your work home with you) that your wrists ache and your neck makes a crunching noise and your eyes are red and puffy and then you finally make it home safely only to shoveling your driveway for an hour, then when you lie down to take a little a nap after shoveling, you dream that you are working - when this is how things stand, it is not the time to attempt to cook.

It's time to take it easy; it's time for really good food.

It's time for the best food in Olympia, according to our readers.

Below, are the results of our Best of Olympia 2011 Readers' Poll concerning food and drinks. You should give them a call to see if they're open right now.

You look tired.

Best Restaurant: Tofu Hut

Best Bartender: Janelle O'Leary, The Vault

Best Happy Hour: The Brotherhood

Best Pizza: Oldschool Pizzeria

Best Burger: Eastside Big Tom Drive Inn

Best Thai Food: Lemon Grass

Best Chinese Food: Emperor's Palace

Best Mexican: El Sarape

Best Buffet: Main Chinese Buffet

Best Italian Restaurant: Trinacria Ristorante Italiano

Best Beer: Fish Tale Brew Pub

Best Cocktails: The Mark

Best Wine: Swing Wine Bar

Best Seafood: Anthony's (Homeport and Hearthfire Grill)

Best BBQ: Southbay Dickerson's BBQ

Best Bar Food: King Solomon's Reef It burned today

Best Steak: Ramblin' Jacks

Best Coffee: Olympia Coffee Roasting Co.

Best Barista: Caffe Vita's Angie Dalton

Best Pastry: The Bread Peddler

Best Breakfast: Darby's Cafe

Best Dessert: Bearded Lady Food Co.

Best Late Night Food: The Reef It burned today

Best All Around Bar: The Brotherhood Lounge

Best Dive Bar: The Brotherhood

Best Vegan Menu: Le Voyeur

LINK: The whole Best of Olympia 2011 motherlode

YOUR HUMBLE REPORTER POPS THE QUESTION >>>

Thursday night was huge for the Weekly Volcano, as it celebrated the debut of our Best of Olympia edition. Far more important to me, however, was the impending arrival of a certain long-awaited piece of bling. My girlfriend Amanda and I planned to celebrate a postponed Valentine's Day the following night, Friday, with a steak dinner, home cooked by yours truly. Unbeknownst to Amanda but benknownst to just about everyone else in our lives including Rep. Dennis Kucinich, I meant to propose to her after dinner. I've been incredibly stressed this month, so much so that my face has broken out like that of a high school sophomore in dire need of Proactiv, but my most harrowing worry was that something would happen to the engagement ring in transit. I was cutting it down to the wire, and my luck this year has been atrocious.

Amanda and I left the Volcano party at The Brotherhood early, but we wound up getting into, well, not a fight - we seldom fight - but a rather intense conversation. The subject was marriage. After a conversation with her father earlier that day, a conversation prompted by his awareness of my imminent proposal, she was so freaked out she could barely focus. Her Spidey sense was tingling. Something was afoot! So why wouldn't I talk about it? She couldn't get anyone to tell her what was going on, and she assumed it was bad. In her anxiety, she warned me that I'd better not think of proposing anytime soon, because she wasn't prepared to pull the trigger.

Terrific.

So after a few angst-ridden emails and phone calls the next morning, I went to pick up her ring. Much to my surprise and relief, the ring had arrived and looked amazing. I decided to take my shot and risk the rejection she'd already warned me I'd receive. I cooked her the steak, drenched it in Roquefort butter, poured some wine and tried to get her to relax. It wasn't easy. She was still awfully tense.

I told her to dress up, as we were going out for dessert. She didn't know where and wasn't happy about that. What did I mean by dessert? Was it going to be messy? Would she need special shoes? What was going on?!

I surreptitiously texted her sister to say we were on our way. I drove Amanda to Cascadia Grill, the former Plenty, where she and I had our first date three years and a month ago. Amanda noticed immediately that her brother and sister were there. They tried to play it off as a coincidence, but Amanda wasn't buying it. I got down on one knee, withdrew the ring from my coat pocket, and asked Amanda Stevens to be my wife and partner for life.

I said on Facebook last week that my interview with Dennis Kucinich was my "get of the month." Of course, that wasn't even remotely true. He came in second and far behind, because my fiancee Amanda Stevens said yes.

SOCIAL STUDIES >>>

Thursday night was the first annual Best of Olympia Issue party hosted by everyone's favorite free South Sound alternative weekly, the Weekly Volcano. And what a party it was. Held at The Brotherhood Lounge in downtown Olympia, this inaugural event had many things working in its favor. The Broho was voted Best All-Around Bar by our readers for a good reason. We provided free pizza from Oldschool Pizzeria. The music was rockin'. And there were lots of people enjoying themselves on a cold Olympia night.

The room swelled with award winners and partiers right out of the gate, forcing folks to elbow their way back to the bands. Funny, even with our bitchin' raffle prizes, people were more interested in hanging out, drinking and chatting. "You know it's a who's who of the Olympia music and arts scene tonight," the Dirty Birds lead singer Jimmi Davies told me as we toasted his band's second place finish for Best Band in Olympia (The Brown Edition took first, voted by our readers).

Drummer and Olympia icon Jerry Ziegler, who we named Best Olympian this year, was in the house, too.

The Weekly Volcano would like to thank Pit, Nikki, the sound guy (you rock) and the whole Brotherhood Lounge crew for hosting the party. They went out of their way to make sure everything ran smoothly. We would like to thank Oldschool Pizzeria for the delicious pizza. They'll certainly be a strong contender in our Tournament of Pizza next month. We would like to thank DJ James for spinning between sets. A huge thanks to Morgan and the Organ Donors, Western Hymn and the Dirty Birds for rocking the joint. I've seen the Dirty Birds perform two-dozen or more times and I'd have to say this was a top five performance. Thanks to Sean Peterson for emceeing the party and the random trivia questions. And a big thanks and hug to the Washington Center for sponsoring the issue and donating raffle prizes.

We'll post the Best of Olympia 2011 issue on our website Thursday. In the meantime, the issue is nestled inside the Weekly Volcano from Federal Way to Tumwater.

Below are a few shots from Thursday's party. There's more shots in our Photo Hot Spot here. Unfortunately, I don't have any shots from Morgan and the Organ Donors performance as I had to run out for more batteries.

The best of Olympia turned out Thursday night. Thanks for the fun time Oly!

PEDAL TO THE MEDAL ON THE HYPE MACHINE >>>

As we've no doubt drilled into your cranium by now, the Weekly Volcano's Best of Olympia 2011 Issue hits the street TODAY! It's finally here! The issue is totally awesome. I've seen it (read: been completely immersed in it for the last three weeks, leaving me blurry eyed and completely incapable of unbiased opinion).

And, of course, we have our big-ass Best of Olympia 2011 Party tonight!!!! - Thursday, Feb. 17 at The Brotherhood. The Dirty Birds, Western Hymn and Morgan and the Organ Donors will provide the free music, and Oldschool Pizza will provide the free pizza (no joke). Music starts at 9 p.m., but consider arriving a wee-bit early - Bobble Tiki eats a lot of pizza.

In honor of today's release of Best of Olympia 2011, we'd like to present the last batch of honorable mention staff picks, which didn't quite make the print edition, but remain awesome nonetheless.

Best Smell

Weed And Its Devotees

Like a third of all adult Americans, I've sampled marijuana. (Indeed, it's the only possible explanation for my voluntary purchase of an Enya CD in the late 1980s.) For years I scoffed at those who demonize ganja. I insisted the drug was no more addictive, and certainly better for one's long-term mental acuity, than Glee. Then I taught a 7:30 a.m. math class at South Puget Sound Community College, where a young underachiever taught me the true meaning of "wake and bake." On those rare occasions when he stumbled into class before it ended, he left a contrail of stench that called to mind a Cheech & Chong drive-in double feature. Hey, potheads: Is it possible you're so high you can't smell yourself? Are you incapable of realizing you smell like Snoop Dogg's crotch? But as with certain cheeses, your leafy reek stinks like pure heaven. It evokes dreamy weekends rewatching the Holy Trilogy on Spike, and for that, sincere thanks. - Christian Carvajal

[Marijuana, aka cannabis, available throughout the greater Olympia area]

<h3<Best Use Of Honesty In A Dragon T-shirt

Ruby At McCoy's

When you've served enough booze at Olympia's favorite "dive" bar to kill the entire historical registry of Budweiser Clydesdales; had to deal with several years' worth of slobbering drunk idiots swinging at the peanut machine; and cut off enough angry racists who aren't afraid to yell the N-word in public that you just stop telling them "I'm Puerto Rican, bro," sometimes all you can do is don some sweet Frank Frazetta shirts and shrug it off.  Naturally, I speak of Ruby at McCoy's. Of course, besides the Frank Frazetta shirts, letting little Miss Princess in her "It's My 21st" tiara know exactly what you think of her and her loud one-and-only-time-they're-ever-coming-here-just-for-the-free-shots-this-place-is-so-ghetto friends sterling analysis of McCoy's in a monotone wit so dry that it sails over their heads like burnt white toast, also has it perks. "SHORT POUR." - Owen Taylor

[McCoy's Tavern, 418 Fourth Ave., E, Olympia, 360.352.0696]

Best Place To Spend Sunday Drinking Beer & Watching Football

The 4th Ave. Tavern

There's a reason why "Joltin" Joe Moore has won multiple awards. It's not for his conceptualized Pomegranate Choco-tinis. It's not for his showman's flair with flying booze bottles à la Tom Cruise in Cocktail. It's not even for his stellar customer service. It's for his attitude. Moore makes you feel like you're part of the family, even if it's your first time to the 4th Ave. Tav. This is never more apparent than during football season. The bar opens for breakfast and the early game, so Monti can serve up what could arguably be some of Olympia's best biscuits and gravy. With a ton of big screens, and Joe's unmatched hospitality, there's a reason why I still come down from Seattle for Football Sundays with Joe Moore. And if the Vikings are winning, you'll swear you've never seen a happier Minnesotan in winter.- Owen Taylor

[The 4^th Ave. Tavern, 210 Fourth Ave. E, Olympia, 360.786.1444]

Best View Of Capitol Lake And Downtown Olympi

Swing Wine Bar And Café

Swing Wine Bar and Café has the best views of Capitol Lake and downtown Olympia - it's not even close. In a historic building perched on the hillside above town, Swing has ambiance galore, an amazing staff of truly talented professionals and gorgeous views. The table next to the bar is one of the best seats in the house, and Swing offers outside seating in the summer months. Chef Thomas Humbock brings his creativity to this restaurant and regularly changes up the menu with delicious and creative offerings. Swing has one of the best wine and cocktail lists in town with a variety of wine flights. - Brooke McKenzie

[Swing Wine Bar and Café, 825 Columbia St. SW, Olympia, 360.357.9464]

Best Place To Drink Beer And Knit

Skep & Skein Tavern

You may miss a stitch or two while imbibing your brews at the Skep and Skein Tavern, but there are many sage knitters to help you correct your mistakes. Knit night at the tavern is every Wednesday at 5:30 p.m. and some nights it is so busy you can hardly get a seat. Send the men to the bar to play a few rounds of board games, while you get your knit on with the girls at the tables. - BM

[Skep & Skein Tavern, 2106 Harrison Ave. NW, Olympia, skepandskein.com]

PEDAL TO THE MEDAL ON THE HYPE MACHINE >>>

As we've no doubt drilled into your cranium by now, the Weekly Volcano's Best of Olympia 2011 Issue hits the street tomorrow. It's awesome. I've seen it (read: been completely immersed in it for the last three weeks, leaving me blurry eyed and completely incapable of unbiased opinion).

And, of course, we have our big-ass Best of Olympia 2011 Party coming up - also tomorrow, Thursday, Feb. 17 at the Brotherhood. The Dirty Birds, Western Hymn and Morgan and the Organ Donors will provide the free music, and Oldschool Pizza will provide the free pizza (no joke). Music starts at 9 p.m., but consider arriving a wee-bit early - Bobble Tiki eats a lot of pizza.

In anticipation of Thursday's release of Best of Olympia 2011, we'd like to present a few more honorable mention staff picks, which didn't quite make the print edition, but remain awesome nonetheless.

Carv's Vote for Best Theater

Harlequin Productions

I used to think of Harlequin as the company that did amazingly polished productions of scripts I wasn't crazy about. (I'm especially reminded of Under a Mantle of Stars.) But over the last two years, it seems, Scot and Linda Whitney and I have grown together, and in 2010 they oversaw a run of shows that flat blew the doors off the place. End Days and Rabbit Hole were nearly flawless the nights I saw them, and even in a chaotic dress rehearsal, Scot's Taming of the Shrew was a bold experiment that paid off in spades. Not to take away from Olympia Family Theater or Olympia Little Theatre, both of which had killer runs, but End Days launched Harlequin into deep space.  - Christian Carvajal

Best Daytrip

Intercity Transit's 600 buses

Feeling blue 'cause she left you? Down on your luck 'cause nobody understands, man? I understand. I understand that you need to get away on a little vacay from the humdrums of spangin' in Olympia. Hop one of the 603's Northbound, bro. Head up to the 512 Park & Ride in Lakewood, or as I like to call it, "The Hub of Possibilities." You can smash a Pierce Transit east to Puyallup to see some "culture," head north to Tacoma Mall to swoop on chicks or take things straight to downtown Tacoma to have your mind blown. The world is your oyster, bro. Find the pearl. - Scabby McCrusto

Best Park For Kids

Tumwater Falls Park

Just up Capitol Way and beautiful in all seasons, this park calls for attention. A super place to bring the family with nice trails, gorgeous waterfalls, fish runs, history and a great playground with big concrete boats for pretending to sail the high seas. And for the adults, the old Olympia brewery is in sight, prompting memories of the warm smell of yeast and hops and the ole five o'clock whistle blow. - Nikki Talotta

[Tumwater Falls Park, Deschutes Way SW, Tumwater, 360.943.2550].

Best Fountain Blast

Heritage Park Fountain

Ahh, a hot summer day, a clear blue sky and a slight breeze blowing off the Sound. Is there any better sort of Olympia day? What's that?  Something's missing? A powerful blast of running water perhaps? Thankfully, Heritage Park Fountain has those cooling blasts so crucial for us "not used to a degree over 75" kind of Olympians. With 40 different water spouts ejecting at any given moment, the fountain is a ticking time bomb of watery refreshing-ness. (Yes, it's a word.) Plus, a crowded day at the fountain also makes for another excellent summertime activity: watching people try to pass off jeans shorts as a bathing suit. - Brett Cihon

[Heritage Park, Evergreen Park Drive SW, Olympia]

PEDAL TO THE MEDAL ON THE HYPE MACHINE >>>

As we've no doubt drilled into your cranium by now, the Weekly Volcano's Best of Olympia 2011 Issue hits the street this Thursday. It's awesome. I've seen it (read: been completely immersed in it for the last three weeks, leaving me blurry eyed and completely incapable of unbiased opinion).

And, of course, we have our big-ass Best of Olympia 2011 Party coming up - Thursday, Feb. 17 at The Brotherhood. The Dirty Birds, Western Hymn and Morgan and the Organ Donors will provide the free music, and Oldschool Pizzeria will provide the free pizza (no joke). Music starts at 9 p.m., but consider arriving a wee-bit early - Bobble Tiki eats a lot of pizza.

In anticipation of Thursday's release of Best of Olympia 2011, we'd like to present a few honorable mention staff picks, which didn't quite make the print edition, but remain awesome nonetheless.

Best Theater Cocktails

Harlequin Productions

The themed beverages created for many Harlequin shows aren't quite as consistently excellent as the onstage fare, but they're a refreshing alternative to the same old wine and coffee. One notable libation was offered during Sixties Chicks and developed by production manager Jill Carter:

White Rabbit

• 1 part vodka (Smirnoff preferred)
• 1 part white cranberry juice
• 1 part white grape juice
• Dash of bitters

Combine and pour over ice. Garnish with a maraschino cherry. - Molly Gilmore

Best Marquee

Tenino 76 Gas Station

One time the downtown Subway marquee boasted, "It's eat healthy month!" A clever employee decided to switch it up to say, "It's eat pussy month!" This is the most brilliant sign I've ever seen. But, since that employee was undoubtedly fired, and Subway's sign has been boring ever since, the old Tenino 76 station takes the award in this category. Although they don't have their sign anymore, they still deserve props for years of entertaining passersby with great slogans like, "Buy two burritos, get Rolaids half off." - Nikki Talotta

[76 gas station, 397 Sussex Ave., Tenino, 360.264.4848]

Best Place To View Really Big Outdoor Sculptures

Monarch Contemporary Art Center And Sculpture Park

Monarch Sculpture Park boasts a variety of artistic sculptures from 140 local artists - there is a really large butterfly, a hedge maze, bird houses and a variety of sounds in the music garden. There is a stream and a pond on site that beg to be explored and a center that hosts special events. On my first visit there was a school group visiting, and they seemed to have a problem with the artistic nudity of some of the sculptures. So you can look forward to that as well. Monarch Park is free but accepts donations. This is a great place to take a walk and then have a picnic in the summer months ... especially if you don't have a problem with the occasional nude sculpture. - Brooke McKenzie  

[Monarch Sculpture Park, 8431 Waldrick Road SE, Tenino, 360.264.2408 monarchartcenter.org]

Best Taunt

"Get The Sevin Dust!"

This one was suggested by my friend Ben Matthews, who clearly spends many an idle hour in Sylvester Park. If, like me, you know Sevendust as the Georgia heavy metal quintet that gave us "Driven," "Enemy" and the Atlanta Falcons anthem "Falcons on Top," then the mocking chant oft heard as "Get the Sevendust" will confuse you at best. In point of fact, though, the Atlanta shredders (and the old Mac OS virus, SevenDust, aka "666") drew their handles from Sevin, the trade name of a Bayer-produced lawn insecticide, Carbaryl (IUPAC chemical name 1-naphthyl methylcarbamate). It's the third leading bug killer in the U.S. I cite these obscure lawn chemistry factoids merely to explain why said taunt is frequently hollered in response to the percussive stylings of downtown drum circle peaceniks. Fans of Sevendust drummer Morgan Rose will, no doubt, be relieved: No connection is implied between Rose and dirty hippies. - Christian Carvajal

[Sylvester Park, corner of Capitol and Legion, Olympia, 360.753.8380]

LINK: Best of Olympia Party Facebook

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 9, 2011 >>>

1. Every Wednesday night at the Royal Lounge in Olympia is Funk and Soul night with The Brown Edition. And let us tell you - Olympia loves it some Brown Edition. How do we know? Could it have something to do with the recently-concluded Best of Olympia 2011 voting? You'll have to wait and see ... First, check out Funk and Soul night at the Royal. Or, just go here for our entire live local music calendar for the day.

2. You've got another chance to catch O'er The Land today.

3. Check out the opening reception for Tiny Beasts Live Among Us today at the Evergreen State College.

4. Every Wednesday the Firwood Rock Lounge goes hip-hop for "Revival Wednesdays." In addition to the jams, look for 1$ Wells and 1$ Drafts until 10:30 p.m.

5.If you're in Bremerton (and, god, we feel for you if that's the case) check out Romeo's Bar and Grill for "Laugh Until You're Red In The Face Comedy Night."

TIME IS RUNNING OUT >>>

As we've hopefully lodged into your cranium by now, the Weekly Volcano will publish its Best of Olympia 2011 issue Feb. 17 - which, for those playing at home, is a mere 17 days from now.

Today is the final day to vote in the Weekly Volcano's Best of Olympia Readers' Poll - currently running at www.bestofolympia2011.com

If you have yet to let your voice be heard, go forth now or forever wallow in regret.

Or something.

Just vote.

Thanks for your time.

EDITOR'S NOTE: For the next three weeks the Volcano will have the privilege of corrupting two fresh-faced interns from the Tacoma School of the Arts. The Volcano participates in SOTA's internship program on a yearly basis, and every time we're amazed by the talents and skills the interns come equipped with. Really, it makes us kind of envious. Kids these days are so damn smart ...

Anyway, this year's SOTA interns are Megan Adams and Anne Anderle. Here is the first of many blog posts about the ridiculous stuff we make them do.

Faced with the challenge of spreading the good word about the Volcano's Best of Olympia 2011 issue, we departed with hundreds of fliers, a few newspapers, the mellow tones of The XX and the impeding threat of snow. Despite our misgivings, we hit downtown Olympia like a whirlwind! Racing up and down the streets, leaving fliers in our wake, we covered the whole area in less than an hour.

We found ourselves next at the Eastside Food Co-op, with its friendly people and comforting smell. Since we could not put our beloved fliers inside the store, the employee with the nice green thumb told us kindly to litter outside on the community bulletin board.

Then, in desperate search of a bathroom, we moved onto the Capital Mall where we sneakily spread more fliers as well as taking a graceful and purposeful tour of the perimeter of the building to find our car.

Next we were off to Evergreen State College to hand out our beautiful fliers. We suspected that the Evergreen students could tell we were outsiders by the numerous strange looks we were given. But nonetheless, we did not let it dampen our spirit of spreading the word about the Best of Olympia.

To finish off the day, we went to the Westside Food Co-op where we bought a delicious lunch - by far the best food we have had in our entire lives. Food seems to taste better after a day without it.

Our journey back after lunch was smooth and uneventful, with the exception of the Elvis impersonator whose car read "Honk if you love Elvis!"

Overall, we had a very successful day and managed to spread the word as proud Weekly Volcano interns. 

DRINK OF THE WEEK >>>

My friend Steve was bragging about what a fabulous soccer player he is, crediting his Polish heritage for his deftness. Yeah, soccer was fine, I told him, but what about a more practical ethnic legacy, like a thorough knowledge of Polish vodka? Rising to the challenge, Steve insisted we go to Cicada Restaurant and Lounge to drink his favorite Ginger Rogers cocktail ($11) made with Alchemia Ginger Vodka - complex Polish rye vodka with a sweet ginger essence.

It's effing delicious.

A list of ingredients for the drink varies, according to a Google search. Cicada's version features said vodka, muddled lemons, black cherry juice and lavender shaken and poured into a sugar-rimmed martini glass.

Girly, but damn tasty. It tasted similar to a cherry Cosmopolitan. And a strange choice for my manly Polish friend.

Bonus: You must try Cicada's Kamilche mussels ($13). The fresh, plumb suckers swim - in shell - a honey-sambal bath, covered with a good snowstorm of Gorgonzola. The sambal is of the oelek variation. You can taste the chilies.

Our Best of Olympia 2011 readers' poll asks where is the best restaurant and who serves the best cocktails in Olympia. Cicada, in our book, qualifies for both honors. What do you think? To vote, click here.

Cicada Restaurant and Lounge

700 4th Ave. E., Olympia
360.753.5700