All of you sweet little readers know that I’m an advocate for public safety when it comes to drinking and you should never, ever drive drunk.

Accordingly, I’ve always been an avid cab rider and fan.

But if I had a hurkin megaphone for all of Tacoma to hear, after last night I would yell the following at the top of my lungs:

CAB SERVICE IN TACOMA FUCKING BLOWS!

Luckily, I’ve been able to get to the bottom of why it sucks so royally.

Please don’t hate the independent contractor drivers. They’re really not the issue.
The problem is the dispatchers, several of whom don’t have the first clue about customer service.
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been hung up on, cussed at and disrespected by these dispatchers just for trying to get clarification on an estimated time of arrival. When I’ve called back to express my concerns about the way I was treated, I’ve been verbally abused again. Great. All the while, my cab hasn’t gotten there any faster, and I’ve been left waiting outside of a bar as late as 3:30 a.m. Ridiculous.

Sure, you often have to wait because the drivers are so busy and the geography they cover is wide, but in one instance where I waited forever, I verified via my cab driver that my request wasn’t dispatched until an hour and a half after I placed my call.

WTF?

As for last night, I was at Masa.

The dispatcher asked me for the address, and I said I didn’t know, but I quickly verified that I was on Pine and Sixth Ave. The dispatcher rudely repeated that she needed an address, so I asked her to hang on a quick second, and she hung up on me.

I called back with the address and told the person that I didn’t appreciate being hung up on. She berated me for not knowing the address, so I said, “OK, will you please have someone pick me up at 2811 Sixth Avenue. Now I’m going to hang up on you.”

At the same time, my friend was calling for a cab for us through his own measures, and the dispatcher said, “Are you in any way affiliated with a woman named Natasha?” He said yes. She said, “We’re not going to make time to pick up people like her,” and she hung up on him.

Dear Dispatcher: Isn’t it embarrassing when you find out that “people like her” are hipster reporters with all eyes on this paper? Boy oh boy did you blow it.

Now I’m forced to resort to something I never wanted to do: play favorites amongst all of the cab drivers that I love so dearly. They’ve all given me their business cards, and I’m going to bypass the dispatchers and call them directly. I’m sure the service will be much better that way. You should consider doing the same.

But the bottom line is that with the way Tacoma’s nightlife is rapidly developing, our cab service here in Tacoma HAS to step up, add cabs to their fleet, and improve their dispatch service.
As a matter of fact, at least two of my bar-owner friends are seriously considering creating their own shuttle service between bars in response to the lack of adequate cab service. Hopefully the owners of Tacoma Yellow Cab, the fleet that has the monopoly on cab service in Tacoma, will realize that this would cut into i profits and make some changes.

I highly encourage you all to call Wilma, the director of operations for Tacoma Yellow Cab. She’s a wonderful, helpful person, and this company obviously needs to hear your feedback if it’s ever going to improve. She works 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday and can be reached at (253) 472-3303.

TAXIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!! â€" Natasha

Sanford & Son at Seventh and Broadway in Tacoma is on fire.  CNN has picked it up.  There's damage on the bottom floor mostly from a burst water main, which helped put the fire out.  Tracy Marie, owner of Tracy Marie's Day Spa and Gift Gallery, suffers from smoke inhalation and is being transported to the hospital. It is rumored that the fire was sparked by a candle in Tracy Marie's shop. More details to follow. â€" Brad Allen

Update: Zinnia Massage has suffered smoked damage. Country Girl Gardens' clothes need to be cleaned.

Is your wisteria wilted? Your monstera morose?

Go get more at the Tacoma Farmers Market, but bring your banker. 

• FROM TACOMA FARMERS MARKET: As the new market season has begun, the Tacoma Farmers Market staff has encouraged its flower vendors to collectively raise prices for bouquets in order to make up for major losses farmers suffered as a result of flooding and harsh weather during the off-season. On behalf of its flower vendors, The Tacoma Farmers Market hopes that market shoppers will understand these conditions which have mandated the rise in flower prices.  For more detailed information, please contact the Tacoma Farmers Market office at (253) 272-7077.   

No biggie I say.  Explore the Tacoma Farmers Market every Thursday and admire the accomplishments of gardeners more talented than you. â€" Suzy Stump

[Tacoma Farmers Market, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Thursdays, Broadway between Ninth and Eleventh streets, downtown Tacoma]

Hey Tacoma, get ready for a lesson in collaboration from a zealous nut on a pink motor scooter. It’s called the “Go Local Passport” campaign, and Patricia Lecy-Davis is the invisible thread that runs through this scintillating little fractal of community connections. Celebrate the kickoff today from 2 to 6 p.m. at Pierce Transit’s Theater Square, on Broadway by the giant, shiny salmon.

Full story here. â€" Paul Schrag

As your nightlife and foodie hunter, I'm always excited about upcoming joints and future hangouts to tell you about that are on the horizon and under construction.

I have no idea when these places will open, but just remember that my brown eyes are on the street to keep you informed, and you can watch 'em develop, too.

The latest gem that's caught my attention is Mary's Burger Bistro, an upcoming hamburger shop on the corner of 23rd and Pacific downtown. Natasha loves me some burgers fo sho! I've been taking special note of the progress in redeveloping this dainty, adorable spot each time I pass by it. So far, they've done a great job of fixing the building up by painting it a deep red, adding inviting accents and an awesome retro business sign. If the TLC they've given to the building is any indicator of how much love they'll put in their burgers, our tummies will be happy.

I've also been watching construction workers scurry around Caper's Downtown, a future soup, sandwich and salad restaurant that will offer lunch and dinner, at 7th and Pacific. People LOVE Caper's first location at 26th and Proctor, and now it's time for them to blow downtown up.

Then there's the building downtown that I'd previously only agree to enter with full-body protective gear: The Mecca, the old nudie movie theater. Construction crews are tossing all kinds of building materials and debris (watch out!) from each story to rehab the space that will become condos, commercial space and (yea!) a speakeasy spot for dinner and a movie brought to us by the proprietor behind the Harmon Brewery.

And in the northern part of town, I'm feeling a pizza chain in their future. Generally I'm a little skeptical when a business considers itself "world famous" until I realize that I think of myself in the same way. Word on the street has it that Nick-N-Willy's World Famous Pizza will open at 26th and Proctor. They promise hot, fresh pizza at a great value.

Lastly, here's one that we've been waiting for, but you should keep your own eyes on: Bombay Bistro at Sixth Avenue and Stevens. Bombay Bistro will offer great bargain Indian food.   

Watching this city grow gets more and more exciting as each week passes.

As always, I'd rather be a T-Town hustler. â€" Natasha

Local visual artists have just a few more days to sign up for the first Tacoma-based Edge professional skills training workshop, running from May 11 to June 22 at the Tacoma Art Museum.

Produced in conjunction with Seattle-based non-profit Artist Trust, this once-a-week-for-eight-weeks program will teach emerging visual artists fundamental skills, including: how to build an effective, professional portfolio; business structure and planning; financial management; how to price your work; how to draft basic contracts; researching and applying for funding; marketing; networking; and a whole lot more.

Cost to participate is just $150 thanks to donations from the Tacoma Art Museum, the City of Tacoma and the Greater Tacoma Community Foundation. Participants will have a chance to learn valuable skills and network with professionals from the Greater Puget Sound arts community. This is a last-minute chance folks, with a few seats left for folks on the ball.

Deadline for applications has been extended until Wednesday, April 18. Program Coordinator Nirmala Singh-Brinkman has offered to extend the deadline until Friday, but you must call and make arrangements. Call (206) 467-8734, ext. 20 or e-mail nirmala@artisttrust.org.

For more information, go here. â€" Paul Schrag

For Lease: 3,000 square foot space in Tacoma's Opera Alley with some improvements toward the creation of a black box theater.

Hmm.

So is the Horatio Theater Company moving up to that vacant yellow building? Or staying at the Commencement Bay Coffee, where "Sweeney Todd" was staged, and where
"Topdog/Underdog"  will run from April 19 to May 6? â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

Here are a couple of photos from Thursday night’s “Coffee and Rhetoric,” where the community voiced opinions on how to develop stretches of downtown Tacoma’s vacant lots at Cutters Point Coffee.

Suggestions ranged from a music venue to a local grocery store to a community garden and low-income housing for artists.

The proceedings intensified and tension mounted between local musicians and a developer with Vision Tacoma who just opened the Marcato, culminating at the end of the show with guest musician Friskey taking up a guitar and composing a song out of thin air called “Opportunistic Bitch” dedicated to the developer.

I asked her later if she had ever had a song written about her.

“Actually, yeah,” she said, “but it was a lot nicer than this one.” â€" Michael Stasiak

Marty Campbell is a smart, smart man.  He knows altruism is cool, and he knows that he can create a community of altruistic people through greed.  To wit: he’s set up a canned food drive where Tacomans bring in cans of food which will be donated to St Leo’s Church and receive chances to win a 20 gig PlayStation 3, which may be pretty hard to buy this time of year.  For each can donated at either Stadium Video or Buzzard's CDs and Videos names are entered for multiple chances to win multiple prizes.

The official drawing will be held at Buzzard's tonight at 8 p.m. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

What had me braving traffic on the heaviest, nastiest shopping day of the year?  I owed my kid a cool thing after she complied with my “no tears at day care rule.”

We went to Toys R Us, quite possibly one of my least favorite places on the planet in the best of times, in part because she wanted to go there, in part because I wanted a dose of Christmas cheer.

Getting there was almost half of the hassle. Between Costco, REI, JoAnn Fabrics, Video Only, Compaq computers, and oh yeah, the Tacoma Mall, that little patch of road system off of I-5, from 38th to Steele Street is more congested than an allergic person after a crying jag in the middle of a hayride.

And then there’s the parking lot traffic, which isn’t any better than the main roads.

Finally, we were in Toys R US, and I was amazed to see things looking quite civilized; only one little boy tore through the aisles on a pre-MX (a BMX with training wheels).

And then it hit me.  The crowd was mostly grandparents and parents sans-kids, shopping for Christmas. One woman commented to a long-lost friend,  “Yeah, I’m really running behind this year.” 

I didn’t have the heart to tell her my family’s Christmas Eve-eve shopping tradition.

After quite some time, Madame Greedyface found The Perfect Thing (A Little Mermaid jewelry set, after investing 15 minutes gazing at Barbie stuff.) 

So then we went looking for the line.  Turns out that organized strip of people lined up nearly around the store were the line.  Toys R Us had the foresight to organize one big feeder-line that fed into individual lanes.  The feeder line moved well, but our cashier line was seriously speed-impaired. 

Finally, 20 minutes of line-waiting later, we were off to the lot, and then stuck in Steele Street traffic again.

Somebody, remind me: why do we love this season? â€" Jessica Corey-Butler