The Weekly Volcano follows B & C-list celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Sinbad

July 6: Time spares no one - not even Sinbad

"i know i am getting older if i am excited by a knee replacement hahah" 3 hours ago, via TweetDeck

July 4: The "LOL" epidemic reaches Sinbad

"I want to thank all those who watched the repeat of my stand up special and dug it...hey, even if you didn't dig it. Lol" 8:35 p.m., via Echofon

July 4: Overuse of the word "killing" reaches Sinbad

"At the like like restaurant eating breakfast in Honolulu. Killing this shrimp omelet" 4:30 p.m., via Echofon

July 2: We get it, Sinbad; you've got a bum knee...

"Good morning... I feel beat up today. Gotta fly and get my knee drained then off to Hawaii for 2 shows them to Disney world with 15 family" 9:23 a.m., via Echofon

July 1: Sinbad cryptically joins The Revolution?

"yeah i used to dig the man." 2:43 p.m., via Echofon

Tune in tomorrow for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Quick: What's better than the weekend?

Answer: A three-day, booze and explosives-fueled extravaganza!

The Fourth of July is upon us, yo! Most of us have three days of barbecues, beer, Black Cats, tormented dogs and fun ahead.

Let's not waste any time. Here's this week's Prefunk: a primer for the coming weekend specially designed for you and your liver - with a picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure.

On that note, check out this week's pic! It's a new one, artistically titled "Blacked Out Wiener Dog," courtesy of a faithful Prefunk reader who took last week's plea to heart, and emailed it to me at mattd@weeklyvolcano.com. You rule, faithful reader! And you - faithful readers who have yet to act - can do the same! Email alcoholic pet photos to me and see your furry friend immortalized forever in The Prefunk. It'll be awesome. I swear.

TACOMACENTRIC @ FREEDOM FAIR

Sunday, July 4

While I think plenty of Tacomans kind of take it for granted, or just don't realize it, the annual Fourth of July Freedom Fair on the Ruston Way waterfront is kind of a big deal. Or at least it's big. Freedom Fair is said to be the largest single-day event in Pierce County, and one of the largest Fourth of July celebrations in the country.

This year's Freedom Fair (known for the obvious: fireworks, hot dogs, fat white people in tank tops) will mark the 31^st year of the festival - which is an impressive accomplishment, especially considering recent economic hardships have taken a heavy toll on free, public events like Freedom Fair. One of the ways the minds behind Freedom Fair are balancing the books (or at least attempting to) is by asking Freedom Fair-goers for a voluntary donation for the second year in a row.

Most people won't donate, of course, but every little bit helps.

New this year is the "TacomaCentric" zone, which will be in Marine Park near The Lobster Shop - an attempt by Tacoma movers and shakers, and the Tacoma Events Commission, to actually give the Freedom Fair's host city, Tacoma, a little love amidst the madness and mass of humanity. Tacoma artists, musicians and locally owned businesses will all get a place to show off their proud, "253" skills and stuff, to the betterment of all involved.

Starting at 11 a.m. and running until the time the fireworks start, just after ten - the TacomaCentric at Marine Park Stage will feature local crowd favorites like Voxxy Vallejo, Missionary Position, Deborah Page, Umber Sleeping and VIII Days Clean. Set times and more information can be found here.

PREFUNK SUGGESTION: If you're going to celebrate our nation's birthday, you might as well do it right. Before heading down to the Freedom Fair, or perhaps while you're at the Freedom Fair - but prior to the orgasmic fireworks finale, indulge in all the thing's or country is known for: baseball, apple pie, Budweiser, backwards hats, gross consumption of fossil fuels, cargo shorts and TapouT T-shirts with the sleeves cutoff.

Once you have all your U.S.A. bases covered, you'll be primed and ready to celebrate the Fourth of July in proud, Freedom Fest fashion.

See you next week, and enjoy the holiday!

The Weekly Volcano follows B & C-list celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Marlon Wayans dishing on today's World Cup action

Earlier today: Marlon Wayans knows comparisons

"The Netherlands coach is sharp he dressed like a dutchanese Pat Riley" about an hour ago, via Blackberry

"The goalie for brazil look like a Portuguese kevin james" about two hours ago, via Blackberry

"Half the Netherlands team look like my balding 3rd grade Phys ed teacher" about two hours ago, via Blackberry

Earlier today: Marlon Wayans knows sportsmanship

"Netherlands team is funny they do foul shit then shake Brazil's hand" about two hours ago, via Blackberry

Earlier today: Marlon Wayans finally offers some in depth soccer analysis

"Boy Brazil was clustered around that net like roaches on sweet cereal" about two hours ago, via Blackberry

Tune in next week for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano.

The Weekly Volcano follows B & C-list celebrities because it's funny >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Tracy Morgan

April 16: Tracy Morgan has goals

"I don't know about yall but I'm going to grab me up a yaddda and do see death at a funeral this weekend and hopfuly get some ass after."

October 21, 2009: Tracy Morgan offers his services via Twitter

"For $15 I'll induce your labor" 6:53 a.m., via UberTwitter

October 13, 2009: Tracy Morgan is a fan of Tracy Morgan

"siting here watching vh1 hiphop honors. that Tracy Morgan is a funny mother fucker." 6:18 p.m., via web

October 8, 2009: Wow. Just wow.

"my dickhead is shaped liked a darth vadar helmet. my dick is so fat it looks like r2d2." 12:43 p.m., via web

Tune in tomorrow for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

BONUS TRACY MORGAN PIC FROM ICE-T'S TWITTER!

The Weekly Volcano follows B & C-list celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Bryan Adams

June 25: Oooohhhhh Bryan Adams is still alive

"Went to see Pearl Jam tonight in London, Hyde Park, what a great night..." 4:48 p.m., via web

June 23: Boom! Bryan Adams takes no shit via Twitter

"Message to Ryan Murphy / Glee: Please stop telling the press I rejected your show, when we've NEVER spoken. Be polite and pick up the phone." 5:41 p.m., via web

June 4: In Canada, this is considered really fancy

"Here is a shot of a guitar/piano set up at the Warehouse Studio...my studio in Canada :)" 6:46 a.m., via Twitpic

May 23: So many possible jokes...

"Post show band meeting, Denmark 2010" 5:46 a.m., via Twitpic

Tune in tomorrow for more  hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano.

BONUS BRYAN ADAMS TWIT PHOTO!

The Weekly Volcano follows B & C-list celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Wrestler and ABC gameshow host Chris Jericho

June 26: Spoiler alert: Chris Jericho is really into metal

"Iron Maidens gonna get u no matter how far!!!" 9:22 p.m., via text

June 26: Chris Jericho has questionable looking friends just like you

"The Expendables hit the limo...." 1 p.m., via TwitBird

June 22: We find this highly disturbing for some reason

"The two best game show hosts of all time...." 11:16 p.m., via TwitBird

Tune in tomorrow for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

BONUS CHRIS JERICHO METAL PIC!

TUESDAY, JUNE 29, 2010 >>>

1. A small survey of works by artist Nicholas Nyland, which includes watercolor paintings and ceramic sculptures, is on display from noon to 5 p.m. at Mineral.

2. D.A.S.H. Center for the Arts hosts a ladies hip-hop class for those 25 and older at 6 p.m.

3. Jazzbones hosts Ha Ha Tuesday featuring comedians Justin Hayes and Fred Bowski and host Ralph Porter at 8 p.m. DJ J-Fresh will spin after.

4. Igneous Rocks will take listeners and dancers through major hits of the last four decades inside the Red Wind Casino beginning at 8 p.m.

5. Sax Restaurant and Lounge hosts an open jazz jam led by saxophonist Kareem Kandi beginning at 9 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

The Weekly Volcano follows weed-smoking, twitter-happy celebrities because it's funny>>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, smoking with Snoop Dogg...

June 26: Snoop Dogg goes Euro

"Super heavy right now with Dj Green Lantern n Damian Marley baccstage Brussels, Belgium" 7:06 p.m., via TweetGenius

June 26: Earlier that day...

"Willie" 4:44 p.m., via TweetGenius

May 20: Guess what time it is?

"spark it up!!!!" 4:20 p.m., via Web

May 11: Snoop Dogg shout out

"much love to the great Bob Marley... everyone spark one up!!!" 6:54 p.m., via Web

April 20: Dedicated to the craft

"Daz tryn to do a 420 smokeathon!! At eazzzz!!" 11:23 p.m., via UberTwitter

Tune in tomorrow for more Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Well, we still haven't been sued by PETA, and my bosses insist this column is still a good idea, so it's time for another installment of The Prefunk - a primer to the weekend for you and your liver (brought to you by the Weekly Volcano, Michelob Ultra, Smirnoff Ice, Ovaltine and Depends).

Oh, and we always throw in a picture of an alcoholic household pet for good measure. If you'd like to see YOUR four-legged friend with a drinking problem immortalized forever in The Prefunk, send drunk-pet photos to me at mattd@weeklyvolcano.com.

I swear; it'll be awesome.

MULTIPLE TACOMA HEMPFEST AFTER-PARTIES

Saturday, June 26

The rumors and smoke signals you've heard and seen are true; Tacoma's first annual Hempfest goes down Saturday at Wright Park. You can learn all you need to know about Tacoma Hempfest right here.

However, while there's only one Tacoma Hempfest, there are at least 37 Tacoma Hempfest after-parties. It's tough to know which one to choose. The good news is: If you've got a favorite local music venue or bar, there's a 73.9 percent chance it's holding a Tacoma Hempfest after-party.

Here are three of the better ones:

Hell's Kitchen: The punk-and-metal-edged Tacoma institution has supported weed since before it was cool. There's no way Pacific Avenue's newest and loudest resident was going to let a chance to revel in Tacoma's first annual Hempfest pass it by. Starting at 9 p.m., the "Official Afterparty for the 1^st Annual Tacoma Hempfest" at Hell's Kitchen will include the stoner-approved sounds of Domination, De-Krep-It, In These Hands and Koz of Konfusion. All these bands are Hell's Kitchen favorites, so expect the after-party celebration to be mighty.

The New Frontier Lounge: While it's not the "official" after-party, The New Frontier Lounge in the Dome District is also jumping into the Tacoma Hempfest after-party action with one of its own, starting at 8 p.m. and featuring Valis, Legend of Bigfoot and Flight of the Phanuel. Again, this is stoner-friendly music in what should be a stoner friendly environment. The only trouble is acting cool when you're high is a lot harder. Skinny jeans look like shit with Cheeto smudges.

Doyle's Public House: Hell's Kitchen has the "official" after-party, and The New Frontier simply has an after-party; but Doyle's Public House in Tacoma - currently flexing its World Cup muscles - has the only "T-Town Hempfest Follow-up" I can find.

What's a "follow-up," you might ask? Well, it's a lot like an after-party.

The T-Town Hempfest Follow-Up at Doyle's has jam-happy bands High Ceiling and Mighty High set to take the stage - which should be a masterful fit for the more stereotypical, dreadlocked, shoeless inhabitants of Saturday's Hempfest.

Jam on, my brothers.

PREFUNK: Shit. Go to Tacoma Hempfest. This one is self-explanatory.

GULF RELIEF @ THE SWISS

Sunday, June 27

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"

That pretty much sums up the feeling the runs through my head every time I think about the BP created mega-disaster currently ravaging the Gulf Coast. It's pretty much all there is to think.

But, how do we help? With previous massive disasters like the earthquake in Haiti or even Katrina, it was kind of obvious what needed to happen. But with the current BP-eco-clusterfuck, it's hard to even know where to start. I mean, THE OIL IS STILL GUSHING OUT. It's not even over yet.

That said, like almost anything in our capitalist created universe, as good a place to start as any is through financial donations. Sunday at The Swiss in Tacoma you'll have that chance, as well as a chance to see a bunch of top-notch local bands.

A benefit for the Gulf Restoration Network  - www.healthygulf.org - Sunday's show at The Swiss carries a $10 suggested donation, and a lineup including China Davis, The Jerry Miller Band with Lee Oskar, High Rollers, Mojo Overload, Malcolm Clark, Rich Wetzel's Groovin' Higher Orchestra and Kim Archer and Nick Sandy. The action starts at 1 p.m., and expect a pretty major raffle and giveaway to accompany the festivities.

PREFUNK: Coat you and your loved ones in 10W-40. Make sure to get your pets too. Then, cover your lunch in 10W-40, your bed in 10W-40, your toilet in 10W-40, etc. See how you enjoy it.

Then, head to The Swiss to help out the Gulf, which has been dealing with a similar - albeit far more devastating - situation for two months now. I'd recommend cleaning yourself up first, though, which you'll find is pretty fucking difficult.

See you next week.

The Weekly Volcano follows B & C-list celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Weird Al Yankovic

April 12: Weird Al's got Bieber Fever

"What’s going on here?? I wake up this morning, and Justin Bieber’s NOT TRENDING. I don’t want to live in a world like this!" 10:23 a.m., via Web

March 28: Weird Al whips out the innuendo

" …where every trip has a “happy ending”…" 11:07 a.m., via Twitpic

March 25: Weird Al hangs with other funny people

"Patton Oswalt has decided to just go with this look permanently. Bold move, sir." 10:19 a.m., via Twitpic

March 12: Weird Al hangs in the Yo Gabba Gabba green room.

"The hardest part about show business is all the waiting around." 1:11 p.m., via Twitpic

Tune in next week for more Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

BONUS WEIRD AL TWITTER PIC!!!