REAL LIFE COMICS >>>

Do you like secret handshakes, cackling with cartoonists and drawing pictures of superhero hotties life-modeling?

Dude, you totally missed it.

The Cartoonists League of Absurd Washingtonians, or C.L.A.W. hosted its Real Life Comics sketch session last night at King's Books. The fez-wearing cartoonist and guests drew the lovely, local cosplay group Super Sirens as they role-played poses. Weekly Volcano intern Sean Contris has the deep background on the event here.

Weekly Volcano photographer Steve Dunkelberger shot a thousand photos of the event, including the ones below.

LINK: More C.L.A.W. Real Life Comics photos

SATURDAY, FEB. 23 2013 >>>

1. Hell's Belles returns to Jazzbones at 5 (all-ages) and 9 p.m, where last November they blasted Bobble Tiki's eardrums and raised the Jazzbones' temperature to hell-like heat with its all-female brand of chugging, riffing rock. The all-female AC/DC tribute band gets 'em in the door, but guitarist Adrian Connor (Angus incarnate with more energy!) and singer Amber Saxon from Australia (belting Bon and Brian with Tina Turner sass) keeps 'em coming back.  The onstage exuberance shown by these gals could pummel a brick wall into submission. Whether strutting, swaying, or the most important of all true r'n'r rituals, soloing, Hell's Belles makes it known that it came to shake things up. It's classic cock-rock without the, uh, receding hairline. Graceland Five opens.

2. Good pie is important. It's unfortunate that very few places understand how important, which must be why most pie is, well, sad. Flabby, machine-made crust and Technicolor interiors are the least of it. The contestants participating in today's Olympia Pie Fest understand the importance of pie. Otherwise, they'd be gardening or working on their Pintrest page. Yes, these folks understand the significance of pie, and will undoubtedly strive to bake fabulous ones: flaky, buttery crust and fresh, seasonal from-scratch fruit fillings. There are rules and rewards, which are posted at olybakers.com. Pie eaters don't care how it happens, as long as pies are made. The pie eating and general merriment is scheduled from 1-3:30 p.m. at the Olympia Center. Proceeds benefit Thurston County Food Bank and Senior Nutrition program.

3. Has anyone ever told you you're "everyone's problem?" Has anyone ever told you you're "unsafe?"  Has anyone ever told you they don't like you "because you're dangerous?" If so, the Paper Airplane Flight Schoofrom 1-3:30 p.m.  at Olympic Flight Museum might be perfect for a maverick just like you. Promising "an afternoon of discovery, hands-on paper airplane folding, and friendly competition while under the watchful eye of real flying vintage aircraft," the Olympic Flight Museum Paper Airplane Flight School offers a fairly interesting way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

4. Kids from around the world (yes world) filmed 90-second or so versions of various Newbery Award and Honor books. They sent these books to YA author James Kennedy (of The Order of Odd-Fish) and he collected, curated, organized, tightened and generally got them into working order. See The 90-Second Newbery Film Festival from 2-4 p.m. at the Olympic Room inside the Tacoma Public Library Main Branch.

5. At 8 p.m. Tacoma jazz band Taxi Driver hosts a "farewell show" for Ricky German at Magoo's Annex in Tacoma. Read Pappi Swarner's full feature on Taxi Driver in the Weekly Volcano's Music section.

PLUS: Tacoma City Ballet's Masquerade Ball, Best of Olympia bands onstage and more in our Weekend Hustle

BOBBLE TIKI: BODYBOX plays a big stage tonight

LINK: Saturday, Feb. 23 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Rain and wind, hi 47, lo 39

Saturday: Showers, hi 47, lo 38

Sunday: More showers, hi 47, lo 42

>>> FRIDAY, FEB. 22-SUNDAY, FEB. 24: THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE (ABRIDGED)

Tacoma Little Theatre's production of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) is more sketch comedy than highbrow Hamlet. It was written to appeal to Bardolaters and haters alike. The shtick is that three actors perform, or at least represent, all of Shakespeare's works in two hours, with dozens of rapid costume changes, unseemly asides and occasional improvisations for highbrow low-concept comedy. - Weekly Volcano

• Olympia Ballroom and First Christian Church, hours vary, $12, weekend pass $25, Olympia, www.olyoldtime.org

>>> SATURDAY, FEB. 23: EREV RAV

The 2013 Best of Olympia Best Band winner Erev Rav performs Saturday night in downtown Oly. Erev Rav pulls together with Seattle's great Orkestar Zirkonium, a brass-and-drum band, for an unforgettable night of perfectly executed dance and rhythm. With Erev Rav weighing in at seven members, and Orkestar Zirkonium with 13, the layers of instruments, the influences of sound, and the personal style of each musician heard, will surely touch each listener's soul. - Nikki McCoy

• Olympia Ballroom, 8:30 p.m., $10, $8/students, 116 Legion Way SE, Olympia, 360. 943.9242

>>> SATURDAY, FEB. 23: MID-WINTER MASQUERADE BALL

The Mid-Winter Masquerade Ball is part of Tacoma City Ballet's Soiree Series, which weaves visual arts, live music, dance performances, and other artistic media into TCB's already artsy focus. Likewise, Mid-Winter Masquerade has set out to feature several art-astic aspects all under one roof. Ancillary rooms will host short film screenings and art installations and Tacoma City Ballet's company will perform throughout the evening. Each Soiree Series event zeroes in on a visual arts focus, so as not to overwhelm attendees with too much awesomeness all at once. - Kristin Kendle

• Merlino Arts Center, 7 p.m., $10, 508 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.4219
  

>>> SATURDAY, FEB. 23: FULL MOON RADIO

I've made it no secret that I'm a fan of the 2013 Best of Olympia Best New Band Full Moon Radio. Saturday night they will host a free EP release and one-year anniversary party at Le Voyeur. Copies of the new EP, Drop Off, will be available, and auditions for a roadie are still open for when the ladies head off on tour in March. Catch 'em with The Deep Wile and The Have At Its for a night of luscious rock 'n' roll. - NM

• Le Voyeur, 9 p.m., no cover, 404 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia, 360.943.5710

>>> SATURDAY, FEB. 23: HORSE BODIES

Speaking of releases, Horse Bodies are celebrating its CD release at the 4th Ave Tav. With Elbow Coulee and I Like Science, the show will certainly entertain. Horse Bodies have been jamming for more than five years and continue to clippity-clop its way into the ears and music libraries of South Sound rock hounds. - NM

• 4th Ave Tavern, 9 p.m., $5, 210 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia, 360.786.1444

>>> SUNDAY, FEB. 24: ACADEMY AWARDS PARTY

The Grand Cinema's annual Academy Awards Party is THE way to celebrate the accomplishments of people way richer than you'll ever be, and this year the party is bigger and better than ever. While watching the Oscars on your HDTV with a bag of microwave popcorn might sound appealing, The Grand has you and your popcorn beat. The Oscars will be screened in two separate areas - one at Theatre on the Square and one in a private VIP area (that's sold out) at Studio 2. Both will have massive theater-sized screens. Aside from general cinema revelry, the party also includes other festivities, including a silent auction and a raffle in the lobby. Prizes include an autographed Felix Hernandez framed picture, Mariners tickets, local travel packages, dinner deals, museum passes and more. Raffle tickets are $5 each or 3 for $10. There's the annual Oscars winners' contest, too. - KK

• Theatre On The Square, 5 p.m., $30-435, 915 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.572.6062

WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL Theater Critic
This will be an insanely busy theater weekend! Not only did my wife and I accept roles in The Somewhat True Tale of Robin Hood (Olympia Family Theater), but I get to watch and review Hamlet (South Puget Sound Community College), The Woman in Black (Lakewood Playhouse) and A Winter's Tale (Evergreen Shakespeare). Fancy!

ALEC CLAYTON Arts Critic
Me and me wifey gonna be doing an all-day speaking gig at The Evergreen Education Association in Vancouver, Washington.

NIKKI MCCOY Feature Writer
Music-riddled weekend for this girl. Friday, after bartending, it's Pet Products and Fitz of Depression at McCoy's and Mos Generator and Black Pussy at the Track House. Saturday, Full Moon Radio, All's Fair in Love and War Burlesque and research on street musicians, plus a peek at all the 4th Ave Tav. Olympia Ballroom and Pig Bar.

JOSH RIZEBERG Music Columnist
I have a real busy Saturday. I'll be teaching my spoken-word/poetry class at D.A.S.H. Then I have two shows that night. First one is a spoken-word/poetry gig at the Colored Women's Club for the Black Collective. Then later that night, Beanz & Rize will be performing at The Loch's for the second Fresh Blends Reblended. Sunday I have my niece's baby shower to attend.

TIMOTHY GRISHAM Music Writer
Friday: Six words - Morgan and the Organ Donors return!

NIC LEONARD Music Writer
Saturday night I will be guest starring at Ramblin Jacks making pizzas followed by a Free Whiskey performance at the Track House in downtown Olympia.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Nightlife Correspondent
I'll be hitting Lakewood Playhouse for Woman in Black then Tacoma Little Theatre for Shakes-beer Abridged on Sunday. Oh and I'll be jumping into Commencement Bay for "Freezin for a Reason" Saturday morning to benefit Special Olympics.

LINK: Even more local events that we recommend

LINK: Comprehensive South Sound Arts & Entertainment Calendar

Sure, you like beer - but have you ever worn it? Wrapped your entire being in it and then spent a day in a warehouse devoted to it? That's what the South Sound's most dedicated beer enthusiasts did at the Big Beer Festival, held at the Foss Waterway Seaport yesterday. Set in a more intimate environ than its larger summer Tacoma Craft Beer Festival counterpart, 20 small breweries poured 5.5-ounce shots of beers that contained a minimum of 6 percent alcohol by volume for 1,500 beer drinkers. By all accounts, it was a success.

What the Weekly Volcano also witnessed during the four-hour night session - the first session ran noon to 4 p.m. - was beer lovers know how to stagger in style, and many showed off just how crazy they could look. We also saw a few normal looking drinkers at the festival, which you will see below.

LINK: More photos from the Big Beer Festival in Tacoma

SATURDAY, FEB. 16 2013 >>>

1. The Reality Check Dance Team - the youth outreach organization of the D.A.S.H. Center - has been producing one of the most popular hip-hop dance showcases in Tacoma. In its eighth year, the group's Krunk showcase will host 14 dance acts, comprising a diverse genres of dance styles, while giving a beautiful elevated platform to the genre of hip-hop,at 7 p.m  inside the Theatre on the Square. Watch the dances, ages 8-38, beast it and get krunk. 

2. Puss in Boots - based on one of the most beloved characters of the Shrek series - tells the hilarious and courageous (daring, bold, brave) tale of Puss' early adventures as he teams with mastermind Humpty Dumpty and the street-savvy Kitty to steal the famed Goose that lays the Golden Eggs. See the film for free at 9:30 a.m. at The Grand Cinema, compliments of Click! Tacoma. Put your boot son fast; tickets are limited.

3. Dancing with the Stars is a TV show that pairs professional dancers with famous people - stars who often wouldn't know the bunny hop if it bit them in the ass. Each show, an unlucky couple gets voted off. By the end of the season, the only couples left on stage are ballroom rock stars. "Dancing with the Tacoma Stars" offers a similar experience, but with a very Tacoma twist. All dancers are rock stars within the community. There are six stars: Tacoma City Councilman Ryan Mello, Metro Parks Commissioner Erik Hanberg, Dr. George McClure of Multicare; local investment manager and vocal teacher Jo Goodman, Pierce College Chancellor Dr. Michele Johnson and yoga teacher Nancy Keiter. The dance professionals that they're paired with are based in Western Washington. The evening starts with a dinner at 5:30 p.m. at the Temple Theatre Ballroom. Read Kristin Kendle's full feature on Dancing with the Tacoma Stars in the Weekly Volcano's Arts section.

4. Songwriters Steve Nebel, John Sparrow and Gary Kanter fill form a circle (the best they can with only three people) and sing songs and tell stories of social justice at 7 p.m. inside King's Books.

5. Beethoven's Fourth Piano Concerto brings out the mysticism, poetic reverie and wildness of his music, which is the perfect piece of Tacoma-based chamber orchestra Northwest Sinfonietta to mess with it. And by mess with it, we mean perform the piece entirely with strings. Hear the performance at 7:30 p.m. inside the Rialto Theater. German pianist Andreas Klein will join in.

LINK: Saturday, Feb. 16 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

SERIOUSLY, NO TICKETS AT THE DOOR >>>

Simple beer math - courtesy of the folks behind today's Big Beer Festival: Winter is cold and big alcohol beers makes you warm, so by way of beer logic, the Big Beer Festival is sold out!

"The BIG Beer Festival is officially sold out of tickets and will not have tickets to sell at the door :( [we are] sorry if any of you have missed getting your ticket but I promise you the Tacoma Craft Beer Festival on September 7th will be our largest yet." - Big Beer Festival management

Oh well. There are other awesome things to do today in the South Sound.

FRIDAY, FEB. 15 2013 >>>

1. On any given morning, after eating her daily oatmeal, and feeding her several dogs, legendary musician Roberta Flack gets busy in her New York City home - busy rehearsing, busy planning, busy listening to or writing music. "I'm a busy person. I have a busy personality," Flack says over the phone. "I have ongoing commitments constantly. ... And now with the Internet slapping you in the face, there's really no excuse. You gotta be motivated to move and make something." All this gusto from a woman who has enchanted the jazz, soul and R&B scene with her singing, songwriting and piano skills since the late '60s, earning two consecutive Grammy awards in '73 and '74 with chart-toppers, "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face" and "Killing Me Softly with His Song," respectively. See her perform at 7:30 p.m. inside the Pantages Theater. Read Nikki McCoy's interview with Roberta Flack in the Weekly Volcano's Music section.

2. After six long years of closure due to safety issues, the Murray Morgan Bridge saw the dawn of a new era Friday, Feb. 1. The bridge reopened to car traffic - as well as bicycle and foot traffic via new pathways - just in time for its 100th birthday celebration today. This past week downtown businesses offered discounts and Harmon Brewery distributed Eleventh Street IPA in celebration of the old steel bridge over the Thea Foss Waterway reconnecting the Port of Tacoma with downtown Tacoma. An official dedication ceremony with local dignitaries will be held at 10 a.m. The event will take place near the bridge at the intersection of 11th and A streets.

3. Stroll through the W.W. Seymour Conservatory sipping on wine or champagne and indulge on handmade chocolates or chocolate covered strawberries from French Hen Bistro while Andy Carlson fills the space with melodies from 5:30-7 p.m. Be present at 6:30 for a drawing of a Hilltop Artist's glass piece.

4. These are digital days, and they're thick with artists - artists who push the technological boundaries of expression further with every bend of a circuit, every twitch of a knob, every densely packed recontextualization of what's come before. The cartoonland of Mark Monlux; the extremes of Ryan Loiselle's weird humor; the virtual tablet painting of John Carlton: This is not some graying curator's business as usual. This is not the sort of art, of creative industry, that's regularly encompassed by a city's more old-school contingent of galleries and exhibitions. You want to bust these ghosts out of the machine, so to speak? Who you gonna call? Lynn di Nino and her monthly TRIPOD Slide Show. See three slideshows on digital art and how these three artists make it from 7-8:30 p.m. at Madera Furniture Company a couple blocks from El Gaucho.

5. Drag show troupe New Queens on the Block has produced shows at the Urban Onion since September, dropping a themed show on Olympia every third Friday of the month. In December, the New Queens added holiday flair to its fabulous affair. In March, the show will geek out to a Comicon theme. Tonight at 9 p.m., Valentine's Day is front an dcenter with "The Lupanara: A Burlesque Themed Drag Variety Show" at the Onion. Read Nikki McCoy's full feature on New Queens on the Block.

LINK: Friday, Feb. 14 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

THURSDAY, DEC. 14 2013 >>>

1. Here's your pick-up line: "Was your daddy a thief? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes." Where to use it? Check out the Weekly Volcano's Valentine's Day Command Center.

2. After six long years of closure due to safety issues, the Murray Morgan Bridge saw the dawn of a new era Friday, Feb. 1. The bridge reopen to car traffic - as well as bicycle and foot traffic via new pathways - just in time for its 100th birthday celebration Friday. This past week downtown businesses offered discounts and Harmon Brewery distributed Eleventh Street IPA in celebration of the old steel bridge over the Thea Foss Waterway reconnecting the Port of Tacoma with downtown Tacoma. The official rededication ceremony begins with the Light the Bridge fun run/walk at 6 p.m. Originally, fireworks were planned to light up the skies, but the fireworks company pulled out. That won't stop Tacoma. Instead, Light the Bridge organizers ask all participants to wear headlamps and/or carry flashlights or glow sticks. Advance registration was required. Go watch the craziness.

3. Oh, boy. Will relationships be destroyed tonight? It's Thursday. It's Valentine's Day. The Tacoma Runners run EVERY Thursday. No. Matter. What. The group begins its 3-mile run at 6 p.m. in front of their beloved Harmon Tap Room. Will an angry spouse toss belongings at a runner from a car window? Keep an eye on Twitter.

4. Speaking of the Harmon Tap Room, we imagine a few Tacoma Runners will stick around until 8 p.m. when Harmon Brewing hosts its Eleventh Street IPA release party. Bonus: The talented Kurt Lindsay will perform.

5. Look, it wouldn't be fair for us to draw conclusions and/or reaffirm stereotypes about people who are big into bluegrass music just because the Oly Mountain Boys will perform at 8 p.m. inside the historic Spar Cafe in Olympia. No, that would not be fair and we will not partake in such blind musical bigotry. We'll tactfully avoid referencing the film Deliverance when discussing the musical genre, and we'll steer clear of family tree jokes that involve fans of bluegrass marrying cousins. Why? Because we're bigger than that. Plus, when the band proclaims its mission is to "reinvigorate the bluegrass genre by bringing the original bluegrass sound of the 1950s to a new generation of fans," we kind of believe them, especially after taking a listen to the passion guitarist Chris Rutledge, mandolin player Derek McSwain, banjo player Tye Menser, bassist Phil Post and fiddle player Josh Grice get down with. Yep, we're taking the high road on this one.

LINK: Thursday, Feb. 14 arts and entertainment event sin the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

THE WEEK OF FEB. 7-13, 2013 >>>

In this week's issue of the Weekly Volcano ...

The Weekly Volcano presents six South Sound love stories.

On any given morning, after eating her daily oatmeal, and feeding her several dogs, legendary musician Roberta Flack gets busy in her New York City home - busy rehearsing, busy planning, busy listening to or writing music. "I'm a busy person. I have a busy personality," Flack told Weekly Volcano scribe Nikki McCoy over the phone. "I have ongoing commitments constantly. ... And now with the Internet slapping you in the face, there's really no excuse. You gotta be motivated to move and make something." All this gusto from a woman who has enchanted the jazz, soul and R&B scene with her singing, songwriting and piano skills since the late '60s, earning two consecutive Grammy awards in '73 and '74 with chart-toppers, and drops in on Tacoma Feb. 15. Read Nikki McCoy's interview with Roberta Flack in the Weekly Volcano's Music section.

Stop with the tirade about hating Hallmark holidays. Clearly, it's true that Valentine's Day is an artificial way of forcing you to synchronize your expressions of love, loyalty, and romance with those of the rest of the world, but you have to admit that it's also nice to go out for a top-drawer dinner with someone you really care about. It's a meal fraught with symbolism, so it matters where you go for dinner on Valentine's Day. Jackie Fender poked around the South Sound for special meals served Thursday, Feb. 14.

Every 15 years or so, the American musical veers in a new and unpredictable direction. When it works, it inspires a wave of imitators. Phantom and Les Miz spawned a decade of bombast. Rent added urban flava and moved gay life and issues to the forefront. Weekly Volcano theater critic Christian Carvajal believes Next to Normal, which debuted on Broadway less than four years ago, is the model for the next wave. Read Carvajal's full review of Next to Normal in the Weekly Volcano's Arts section.

Weekly Volcano art critic Alec Clayton attended the opening of "Out of The Silence," an art exhibit in Olympia's Urban Onion lobby. It was a phenomenal event and a phenomenal exhibition. As they say in high society, everyone who is anyone was there: Mayor Stephen Buxbaum, Congressman Denny Heck, a handful of City Council members, school teachers and administrators, and leaders of the gay rights movement. Calligrapher Sally Penley invited calligraphic artists from all over the country to make art based on inspirational quotes related to bullying and youth suicide or quotes of hope such as Harvey Milk's famous and simple quote, "You gotta give 'em hope. Read Alec Clayton's full review of "Out of Silence" in the Weekly Volcano's Arts section.

PLUS: Music critics' picks of the week

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 6 2013 >>>

1. Did you know the United Nations declared 2012 to be the International Year of the Cooperative? The UN based its statement on the co-op business model's stunning growth. The UN found that, in 2012, one billion people worldwide were co-op member-owners, or one in five adults over the age of 15. The largest is Spain's Mondragon Corporation, with more than 80,000 member-owners. The UN predicts that by 2025, worker-owned co-ops will be the world's fastest growing business model. Back in this country, the phrase "worker cooperative" probably evokes vague notions of Communism, small-time craft vendors or the organic grocery store around the corner. Shift Change - a new documentary by Seattle area filmmakers Mark Dworkin and Melissa Young that will be screened at 6:30 and 8:30 p.m. inside Tacoma's Grand Cinema - visits the more than 50 year old network of cooperative businesses in Mondragon, and thriving examples of such businesses in the U.S. - from bakeries to solar energy to linen service and engineering. Through in-depth interviews with worker-owners, attendance at co-op meetings, and visits to the factory floor, the film shares on-the-ground experience, lessons and observations from the worker-owners on the front line of the new economy, arguing that in an economy where not much is certain, it's worth considering different ways for ordinary people to join forces in the name of profit.

2. Local teens and teen dance groups submitted their videos for the dance competition hosted by MultiCare Center for Healthy Living. The videos were judged. Tonight, the three finalists will go head to head from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at MultiCare Center's 13th annual "Do Something Healthy" event inside the Greater Tacoma Convention Center.  Derek Hough from Dancing with the Stars will be the celebrity judge. "Do Something Healthy" is an evening event that includes a health fair, health screenings and a presentation by a special guest speaker.

3. Dogfish Head Craft Brewed Ales asks on its website, "if anyone will buy a beer with the word 'rot' in the name?" - referring to its saison-esque Noble Rot. Well, would anyone eat at a restaurant called STINK? The Rot and STINK join foces tonight when the Triangle District cheese and meat shop hosts the Delaware brewers for a Noble Rot tasting from 5-8 p.m. at $5 a head.

4. Dorky's Bar Arcade in downtown Tacoma hosts Trivis for Dorks every Wednesday night at 8 p.m. Weekly Volcano scribe Nikki McCoy has the scoop here.

5. Play bingo with those not just killing time before the Grim Reaper calls their number. Every Wednesday at 9 p.m. inside The New Frontier, bingo players are treated to a rather boisterous evening of number-calling. The music rocks, the prizes are craptastic and there's something very satisfying about yelling "It's not a tumor!" when B-9 is pulled from the hopper (Schwarzenegger anyone?). Sessions are free with $2 margaritas during bingo. Every Wednesday night is also Taco Night with $1 beef, $1 black bean and $2 chicken in soft or crunchy shells.

LINK: Wednesday, Feb. 6 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area