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November 16, 2011 at 7:39am

House of turkey

LET SOMEONE ELSE COOK THE BIRD >>>

I am a woman of noble intent. Last year, during my two weeks of vacation I demanded, I fully intended to wallpaper our bathroom - after, of course, I had cleaned the guest bedroom and finished canning my last jar of pickles for Christmas presents. I had every intention of making my own wrapping paper, embossed with vegetable-dye prints of my cat's feet - after, of course, I had recovered from my two marathons in one month feat. This year, I intend on sending the Christmas cards I bought last November, and next year, I am sure I will knit mittens for my niece; using the yarn I bought last September. Any weekend now, I'll whip up some saffron fettuccine in the pasta machine I bought that makes dough I may never knead.

Oh well, none of these losses is very great, in and of itself. The world is tough for those of us who believe we can, and should, do it all ourselves. It's tough to suffer under the delusion you can tackle everything and still have impassable style. Instead, we rush through life like clowns on America's Got Talent, juggling plates, tossing poodles and shouting, "I've got it! I've got it!" The result frequently isn't very stylish at all, and living with a fiend who will never relax, especially during the holidays, certainly isn't a very pleasant experience for our loved ones.

I love the idea of taking the time to make an occasion special, to do something right. But there's the rub: the doing rightly of the thing. It is not right for your family to live in fear of your moods and temper, your disappointment at not fulfilling your unmanageable obligations. Sometimes the doing rightly of the thing means knowing not to do it yourself. Sometimes your smartest move is to get a little help or, maybe, a lot of help.

If your intentions are truly noble, maybe you could let someone else do some of the cooking, someone whose been paid to do it. You can let your family enjoy your company for a change. The following establishments require advance booking. Do yourself a favor and book now. This holiday could be your most impressive one ever. It could be the one your spend enjoying yourself and your family.

Babblin' Babs Bistro

Once again,the intimate gourmet restaurant in Tacoma's Proctor District will serve outside the box offering a turkey-free menu of pork tenderloin with mushrooms, Greek grilled-eggplant lasagna, roasted Alaskan cod loin with cabbage and Grand Marnier chicken with mission figs - plus apricot pistachio goat cheese triangles, potato-leek-arugula soup and pear salad. Your meal ends with pumpkin bread pudding and cookies.
[11 a.m. to 4 p.m., $65, 2724 N. Proctor St., Tacoma, 253.761.9099]

Brix 25

Let's start off with the wine.Brix 25 put heavy research in to find the best Oregon Pinot Noirs to go with its traditional turkey dinner. The Gig Harbor fancy restaurant will offer an ala carte menu of citrus-brined turkey with roasted squash and pumpkins, prime rib with Brussels sprouts, fig stuffing and bourbon gravy, as well as olive oil mashed potatoes and whipped horseradish butter, bacon lardons, roasted suckling pig with a puree of celeriac, spiced pears and a port wine caramel sauce.
[1-8 p.m., $20-$30, 7707 Pioneer Way, Gig Harbor, 253.858.6626]

C.I. Shenanigans

For as long as we can remember this Tacoma waterfront restaurant has been serving a Thanksgiving dinner. Naturally, its traditional turkey buffet dinner will include oysters, crab legs, oysters, mussels and salmon.
[11 a.m. to 6:30 p.m., $12.99-$28.99, 3017 Ruston Way, Tacoma, 253.752.8811]

Lobster Shop at Commencement Bay

If you're a fan of the Lobster Shop's Sunday brunch buffet, its Thanksgiving buffet won't disappoint. They'll bust out a bevy of meats, includingturkey, ham, prime rib, salmon, pork loin and strip loin, pork loin. Back to the beginning of the line, expect, mashed potatoes and gravy, sage stuffing, rice pilaf, candied yams, salads, chilled Dungeness crab, vegetables, cranberry relish and desserts.
[11 a.m. to 6 p.m., $16.95-$32.95, 4015 Ruston Way, Tacoma, 253.759.2165]

Pacific Grill

Downtown Tacoma's fancy restaurant, as well as voted Best Restaurant in Tacoma this year, Pacific Grill will offer up aprix-fixe menu of sage-roasted turkey, wild mushroom stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole and crispy onions, as well as an herb-crusted roasted prime rib with garlic mashed potatoes, glazed baby carrots, au jus and creamed horseradish sauce and a Dover sole with wild chanterelle mushrooms and truffled mashed potatoes. For those who love pot pie for Thanksgiving, PG has a wild mushroom and lentil version with your name on it. Dessert is on the menu, too.
[2-7 p.m., $15.95-$34.95, 1502 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.3535]

Stanley & Seafort's

The fine dining restaurant up on the hill will skip the buffet line and serve a sit-down meal of free-range turkey with apple-sausage stuffing, mashed potatoes, vegetables and turkey gravy. It will also offer an herb-crusted prime rib, filet mignon Wellington, hand-cut rib eye steak, Dungeness crab cakes, chile smoked Tiger prawns and salmon dinners.
[11 a.m. to 8 p.m., $25-$39, 115 E. 34th St., Tacoma, 253.473.7300]

Chime in with the restaurant I missed.

November 15, 2011 at 5:48am

True Tacoman app trivia game: new question!

DO YOU KNOW YOUR TACOMA HISTORY ... AND LOVE FOOD? >>

Foodcaching is a new smart phone app alerting customers of awesome food deals at 16 restaurants in the greater Tacoma area. You may download the app for free on your iPhone and Android here.

The Weekly Volcano has teamed up with Foodcaching for the True Tacoman game. Every Tuesday and Friday right here on Spew, we post a Tacoma history trivia provided by the Washington State History Museum. If you know the answer, run to one of the 16 participating restaurants, come clean with answer and you'll receive points on your Foodcaching app, which you downloaded free here. We'll be running the True Tacoman trivia game through the end of the year.

The person will the most points on Dec. 31 will be crowned the True Tacoman and be flooded with various food prizes.

Friday's Tacoma trivia answer

The Puget Sound's Agricultural Company and The Hudson's Bay Company were the two British companies claimed much of Pierce County after the Civil War. In 1839, in response to the need for fresh food and supplies for their many employees, the leaders of the Hudson's Bay Company formed the Puget Sound Agricultural Company with farms at Fort Nisqually and Cowlitz Prairie. The combined farms soon encompassed hundreds of acres of land. In addition to raising animals for feed, farms also produced cheese, butter, leather, horn, tallow, and a variety of manufactured products. 

Today's Tacoma trivia question

The British farms located on the Nisqually plains in the late 1800s focused attention on which of the following three products?:

A) Sheep and cattle

B) Horses and pigs

C) Wheat and oats

D) Corn and sugar beets

E) Apples and pears

Answer the question correctly at one of the 16 participating restaurants below and score points - besides the awesome food deals from the restaurant. The correct answer will be revealed Friday, Nov. 18 on Spew. Also keep an eye on this blog for bonus game points and a special invite to the True Tacoman Game Party in early 2012.

Oh, you can download the free app here.

Participating restaurants

  • 1022 South, 1022 South J St., Tacoma, 253.627.8588, Facebook
  • Capers Cafe & Take Home, 2602 N. Proctor St., Tacoma, 253.761.4444, Facebook
  • Dirty Oscar's Annex, 2309 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.0588, Facebook
  • Dorky's Arcade, 754 Pacfic Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.4156, Facebook
  • Harmon Brewery & Eatery, 1938 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.383.2739, Facebook
  • Harmon Tap Room, 204 Saint Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.212.2725, Facebook
  • The Hub, 203 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.683.4606, Facebook
  • Jake's Bar & Bistro, 215 Wilkes St., Steilacoom, 253.581.3300, Website
  • Massimo Italian Bar & Grill, 4020 Bridgeport Way W., University Place, 253.503.1902, Facebook
  • Marrow Kitchen & Bar, 2717 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.267.5299, Facebook
  • Over The Moon Cafe, 709 Court C/Opera Alley, Tacoma, 253.284.3722, Facebook
  • Pacific Grill, 1502 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.3535, Facebook
  • The Social Bar & Grill, 1715 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.301.3835, Facebook
  • STINK Cheese & Meat, 628 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.426.1347, Facebook
  • Top of Tacoma Bar & Cafe, 3529 Mckinley Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.1502, Facebook
  • TWOKOI Japanese Restaurant, 1552 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.274.8999, Facebook

November 14, 2011 at 2:33pm

INTERN REPORT: My first Nosh League

The Weekly Volcano Nosh League gathered for sharable dishes and drinks Nov. 10 at the Social Bar and Grill in Tacoma.

SHARING >>>

Weekly Volcano Street Team leader Brandon Stephens attended his first Nosh League foodie group gathering Thursday at The Social Bar and Grill. Here's the report he filed.

Thursday, Weekly Volcano's foodie group Nosh League was back in action, this time gathering at The Social Bar and Grill - a place I been dying to try since I first heard about the communal restaurant this past summer.  Located on Dock Street at the footsteps of the Museum of Glass - with a view of Thea Foss Waterway - Social delivered on all levels.

Social's sleek layout resembles a commons-type environment - high ceilings and low dividing walls. The Nosh League gathered in the front dining room lit with candlelight.

As the last few late Nosh's trickled in, and raffle tickets passed out, our super friendly host and Social co-owner Philip Panagos launched into the night's schedule. He informed us everything eaten would be shared - food and drinks. I met several new people over shared doughnut holes and pitchers.

Pitchers of Sangria launched the sharings. Red sangria (Merlot, brandy and fresh mixed berries) and pink sangria (Zinfandel and fresh-cut melons) were the options. I went red, which happened to pair nice with the first appetizer of the night, doughnut holes.

Yes, doughnut holes!

Of course, these weren't everyday pre-frozen, bring to your Monday morning meeting doughnut holes. The cassava flower based doughnut hole carried a heavy texture - deep-fried and topped lightly with salt. 

Pappi Swarner ran the raffle. Although it's early November, there was already holiday spirit flowing through Social as one lucky winner snagged a groovy Frosty the Snowman lava lamp tie, perfect for an ugly holiday sweater party.

With the sangria pitchers emptying quickly (natch!), the room of 25 naturally or unnaturally came roaring to life. Raring for their first dishes, Social didn't disappoint. The way to this guy's heart is definitely shrimp, and that's what was delivered. The sautéed prawns in shells were a first for me. I didn't mind spending a couple extra seconds peeling off the shell, which helped trap that delicious flavor I adore. Delicious sautéed mushrooms with a paprika sauce, clams in Riesling and rustic bread, accompanied the prawns. 

Executive Chef Rodel Borromeo came out to greet the Nosh League patrons and speak on his inspirations for his dishes, which spanned Latin America, the Mediterranean and Asia. Chef Borromeo faired well on the floor, especially for a guy who does his best work behind the closed doors of a kitchen.

Sean Armentrout of United Way Pierce County gave a very brief presentation on helping the homeless. I texted "HOUSE" to 20222, contributing $10 to the cause. A few minutes later I scored a rad Warren Miller DVD during raffle round two. Just sayin'.

It was host Philip who dropped the most difficult question of the night. "Are you ready for some beer?" Thankfully it was a rhetorical question and the growlers emerged as if in a parade.

Out of the kitchen next were tri-tip skewers, stabbed with mushrooms, roasted red pepper capers and green onions, as well as a locally grown grilled chicken satay, fresh slaw and more of that amazing rustic bread. 

These final dishes were accompanied with a Predator Zinfandel, which had a peppery kick.  One bite of the roasted red pepper skewer, tailed closely by the Predator wine, let the spicy tastes linger for the rest of the night. 

As always toward the end of the night, Nosh Leaguers freely wandered from table to table before eventually heading off, chatting away as intended by our gracious host Social Bar and Grill.

I can't wait to come back and try the brisket, which I hear is the best there is this side of the Mississippi.

[Social Bar and Grill, 1715 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.301.3835]

LINK: Past Nogh League reports

LINK: Join the Nosh League

LINK: We're on the Facebook!

Filed under: Food & Drink, Nosh League, Tacoma,

November 14, 2011 at 10:00am

5 Things To Do Today: "Being Elmo," Tap Room Trivia, karaoke contest at the Play Pen and more ...

Public art by Thoughtbarn along Tacoma's Prairie Line Trail - part of "Temporal Terminus"

MONDAY, NOV. 14, 2011 >>>

1. We all know Elmo. Even if you don't have kids, will never have kids, in fact hate kids and everything about them, and have never even been a kid yourself, you know who Elmo is ... or at least you think you do. Elmo, of course, is the hug-giving, furry little red dude from Sesame Street - a staple of the last 25 years. In real life, however, Elmo is puppeteer Kevin Clash, who has portrayed Elmo on TV since 1985 and created the character we've come to know and love. This week the award-winning documentary Being Elmo: A Puppeteers Journey will screen at The Grand, allowing the old and young alike a chance to meet the man behind the puppet. Catch Being Elmo today at the Grand Cinema.

2. Tap into "Tap Room Trivia" tonight at the Harmon Tap Room in Tacoma from 6- 8 p.m. Not convinced? Did we mention the $50 cash prize for the winner of each round?

3. The venerable DJ Melodica spins punk, post punk, New Wave, early electronica, garage and more tonight starting at 8:30 p.m. at Magoo's Annex in Tacoma.

4. Did you get a chance to check out Temporal Terminus: Marking the Line when it opened Saturday? We speak, of course, of the new temporary public art exhibit along Tacoma's Prairie Line Trail that celebrates the important transformation of the trail from rail to linear park. It's awesome. Find more info here, then go out and see it for yourself.

5. Mosey on in to the Play Pen in Lacey for tonight's karaoke contest. The fun times and competition starts at 8 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound
LINK: Live music tonight

LINK: This week's freebies!

November 12, 2011 at 12:19pm

TONIGHT: When synths meet film

ALL HAIL SPACEWORKS!

The synthesizer is a powerful tool that has suffered much abuse since its entrance into the pop world. Cheese-doodling, lipstick-wearing hairspray bands of the '80s are to blame for the synth's lowly place among "real" instruments like guitars and snare drums.

Tonight, bands Iceborg, Operation ID and Porch Grapes will reclaimed the keyboard's unique ability to create otherworldly audio ... for motion pictures by video artist Mitchell Zollinger. It will be an electronic, synthesized film night you can dance to.

Iceborg is actually Brian Kinsella playing film music with a bunch of synths.

Operation ID is a bionic synth-pop band, and will be performing a free improv set.

Porch Grapes says it's a dance explosion.

Bluebeard Coffee will drop by with treats such as espresso floats.

Entertain your brain when the band performs tonight at 7 p.m.

[Nate Dybevik's piano restoration Spaceworks Tacoma space, Saturday, Nov. 12, 7 p.m., 1310 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Tacoma]

Filed under: Food & Drink, Music, Screens, Tacoma,

November 11, 2011 at 7:51am

SHORT ORDER: Veterans Day specials, dim sum, burger deal, free cake ...

Farrelli's Jack and John pizza

SOUTH SOUND DINING NEWS, NIBBLES AND SIPS >>>

Veterans Day Thank You: Farrelli's Wood Fire Pizza offers $11 12-inch pizza and $11 craft beer pitchers to everyone, as well as accepting donations for the Puget Sound Veterans Affairs Volunteer Service Organization. The Ram Restaurant & Brewery will award those with valid military IDs a "buy one entrée, get one free" deal.

Customer Appreciation Day: Norma's Burgers in Olympia hosts a customer appreciation day today awarding $1.11 chocolate or vanilla shakes and $1.11 burgers per person.

30th Anniversary: Salty's at Redondo Beach celebrates its 30th anniversary with a free slice of its signature white chocolate mousse cake for those who wish them a "happy birthday." Friday, Dec. 2, Salty's at Redondo Beach will host a Rockin' ‘80s Party.

Dim Sum In Tacoma: TNT Diner found some in the Lincoln District.

Plan Ahead: Create a sticky and sweet gingerbread house in a festive holiday setting Nov. 26 and 27 at the Gingerbread Jamboree inside the Bicentennial Pavilion in downtown Tacoma. The cost is $36 per house. To register, call 253.527.6031.

LINK: Happy hours!

November 11, 2011 at 7:39am

True Tacoman app trivia game: Jail answer, Friday's question

DO YOU KNOW YOUR TACOMA HISTORY ... AND LOVE FOOD? >>

Foodcaching is a new smart phone app alerting customers of awesome food deals at 16 restaurants in the greater Tacoma area. You may download the app for free on your iPhone and Android here.

The Weekly Volcano has teamed up with Foodcaching for the True Tacoman game. Every Tuesday and Friday right here on Spew, we post a Tacoma history trivia provided by the Washington State History Museum. If you know the answer, run to one of the 16 participating restaurants, come clean with answer and you'll receive points on your Foodcaching app, which you downloaded free here. We'll be running the True Tacoman trivia game through the end of the year.

The person will the most points on Dec. 31 will be crowned the True Tacoma and be flooded with various food prizes.

Tuesday's Tacoma trivia answer

In 1867 the U. S. Congress authorized a prison for Washington state along with $20,000 for the building project. Two sites considered were Fort Vancouver to the south and Port Townsend to the north. Steilacoom, a growing industrious community with a busy seaport, was located in the middle and was chosen by the legislature to be the site for the new prison.

Today's Tacoma trivia question

Two British companies claimed much of Pierce County after the Civil War. Name the two:

A) The Puget Sound's Agricultural Company

B) The Hudson's Bay Company

C) The Northwest Company

Answer the question correctly at one of the 16 participating restaurants below and score points - besides the awesome food deals from the restaurant. The correct answer will be revealed Tuesday, Nov. 15 on Spew. Also keep an eye on this blog for bonus game points and a special invite to the True Tacoman Game Party in early 2012.

Oh, you can download the free app here.

Participating restaurants

  • 1022 South, 1022 South J St., Tacoma, 253.627.8588, Facebook
  • Capers Cafe & Take Home, 2602 N. Proctor St., Tacoma, 253.761.4444, Facebook
  • Dirty Oscar's Annex, 2309 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.0588, Facebook
  • Dorky's Arcade, 754 Pacfic Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.4156, Facebook
  • Harmon Brewery & Eatery, 1938 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.383.2739, Facebook
  • Harmon Tap Room, 204 Saint Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.212.2725, Facebook
  • The Hub, 203 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.683.4606, Facebook
  • Jake's Bar & Bistro, 215 Wilkes St., Steilacoom, 253.581.3300, Website
  • Massimo Italian Bar & Grill, 4020 Bridgeport Way W., University Place, 253.503.1902, Facebook
  • Marrow Kitchen & Bar, 2717 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.267.5299, Facebook
  • Over The Moon Cafe, 709 Court C/Opera Alley, Tacoma, 253.284.3722, Facebook
  • Pacific Grill, 1502 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.3535, Facebook
  • The Social Bar & Grill, 1715 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.301.3835, Facebook
  • STINK Cheese & Meat, 628 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.426.1347, Facebook
  • Top of Tacoma Bar & Cafe, 3529 Mckinley Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.1502, Facebook
  • TWOKOI Japanese Restaurant, 1552 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.274.8999, Facebook

November 10, 2011 at 11:32am

New Tacoma retail kitchen and gourmet food store opens

NOW OPEN >>>

Jack Noble has his head so wrapped around the opening of his new retail kitchen store in Tacoma's Triangle District he didn't notice I was taking hits off his soy latte. Noble, along with business partner Kris Blondin, have opened Füdie next door to their über deli, STINK Cheese & Meat. In fact, they blew a hole through the wall and mirrored STINK's color scheme in the new store, which also sells gourmet food, wine and beer.

We'll ignore the fact I didn't realize I was drinking the wrong coffee.

Noble bounced through different emotions as he swept, arranged and wiped. He's proud to open small businesses in downtown Tacoma. A strong sense of community pride drives the ventures of he and Blondin undertake. A smile dominates as he adjusts local and European beer labels so they're facing forward. There's even a skip to Noble's step as he straightens the mini whisks, spatulas and tongs next to the front counter. However, he's slightly sad a few of his gourmet spotlight items are stuck in a truck somewhere in New York. He believes the few empty spots on the shelves will burst with color by the weekend.

"I'm thrilled to offer downtown denizens, and those traveling to the suburbs, the opportunity to buy gourmet food products, top-of-the-line kitchen tools, a nice bottle of wine and hard to find beers," Noble says.

Those familiar with the wine and beer sold at STINK will delight at Füdie's variety. Just eyeing it, I'd say the amount of wine and beer has grown 10 times, including Shafer Cabs, Merryvale and Rex Hill Pinots, Novelty Hill Merlot, Italian Chianti, French reds and whites, port, sparkling, and an impressive large bottle beer selection, including Hales El Jefe Weizen and Supergoose IPA, and Fish Tales Organic IPA.

The gourmet treats include Island Troller albacore from Whidbey Island, Nikki's shortbreads (Meyer lemon and maple syrup), Bissinger's liquor cups, Matiz Gallego sardines in olive oil and much more.

"Kris says Tacoma can now eat pommes frites," Noble says, pointing to the jars of Rougie Duck Fat.

The 1000-square-foot store is airy and modern, anchored by a 12-foot thick farm table, where Blondin and Noble will host wine and beer tastings.

Besides the mini kitchen tools, Füdie carries typical-size kitchen utensils and accessories from Epicurean, Progressive, Danesco and Further.

Ignoring the new wide entryway into Füdie, not much has changed on the STINK side. A new menu will roll out in three weeks with quiches, stratas and other comfort food. All the popular dishes will remain.

Füdie's front sign isn't up yet. The logo's backdrop is that of a pineapple, the international symbol for hospitality.

The hours match STINK's - 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday-Thursday, open until 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday. Sunday hours may soon be added.

[Füdie, Sixth and St. Helens Ave., 253.426.1347]

LINK: STINK Cheese & Meat

Filed under: Business, Food & Drink, Tacoma,

November 10, 2011 at 8:12am

MORNING SPEW: What's Up Krupp?, Sandusky situation, are L'eggs back? ...

That sounds stupid.

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

What's Up Krupp?: Thurston County Manager Don Krupp, who has worked for the county for 17 years, has applied for Tacoma's city manager job. (The Olympian)

If It Falls Into Their Laps: Tacoma passes lowest priority marijuana initiative. (Stop The Drug War)

Weird: A state Senate seat may change hands in the middle a special legislative session that starts after Thanksgiving. (News Tribune)

The Sandusky Situation: Students protest after Penn State coach Joe Paterno was fired amid sex-abuse scandal.(CNN) Read Weekly Volcano editor Matt Driscoll's take on the situation. (Weekly Volcano)

New Prime Minister Of Greece: Lucas Papademos, a former European Central Bank vice president, assumes the position. (CNN)

What Would The Muppets Do?: It would be the most sensantional, inspirational, celebrational, Muppet-ational Academy Awards show. (Perez Hilton)

R.I.P. Bil Keane: Family Circus packs up and moves on. (USA Today)

Are L'eggs Back?: The brand that pioneered plastic ostrich-sized eggs as packaging, is looking for a comeback. (Ad Week)

WTF?: Peanut butter vodka. (Laughing Squid)

Today's Moment Of Zen

November 9, 2011 at 10:47am

PERSON, PLACE OR THING with Steph DeRosa: Fatburger

Daniel Denison

PERSON: Daniel Denison

Place: Fatburger

Thing: 1.5 pound, three-patty XXXL hamburger

Price: $9.79

He added: Jalapeños

And almost added: An egg (WTF?)

Everything was: Swimming in grease

Which promptly made: Daniel ill

I think: He barely made it to the bathroom

After: Our conversation

Which unfortunately: Is usually the case

When: Steph DeRosa talks to men

As Mr. DeRosa peered over the partition separating us from Daniel Denison and his Fatburger-eating cohorts, I received a personalized play-by-play on what seemed to be the most hysterical display of greasy-hamburger gluttony ever witnessed. 

MR. DEROSA: "Oh my God, Steph, he can't even fit it in his mouth!"

ME: "If I turn around and look, will it be obvious?"

MR. DEROSA: "No. You gotta look. I can't believe what I'm seeing!"

ME: "Oh good lord, you're right!  I have to go talk to him."

To read what happened next, click here.

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