Light rain, party cloudy, light rain is the pattern today at JBLM. Accu-Radar shaped like Buddha. Lost $30 to news team. Office Pilates instructors are concerned that I’m a liability with lightening bolt cutouts. High to hit only 53.
This Date in History: 1945
Adolf Hitler learning from one of his generals that no German defense was offered to the Russian assault at Eberswalde, admits to all in his underground bunker that the war is lost and that suicide is his only recourse.
GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.22.14 >>>
Rain today at JBLM. Chance of rain 80%. Wind could reach 15 mph. News team endorsed me on LinkedIn for the following skills: Sustained Winds, Topical Depression, Hairpiece. Hate news team. Lo: 43.
This Date in History: 1775
At about 5 a.m., 700 British troops, on a mission to capture Patriot leaders and seize a Patriot arsenal, march into Lexington to find 77 armed minutemen under Captain John Parker waiting for them. The American Revolution begins.
GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.19.14 >>>
The PBS show Pioneers of Television is back for another season, and the premiere is about standup comedians who transitioned to TV, including Jerry Seinfeld, Roseanne Barr, Bob Newhart and others.
Partly cloudy day before tomorrow’s rain at JBLM. Chance of rain: 30%. Hate Fridays. News team drinks, rigged my blinker to stay on for miles, replaced my gym clothes with semi-casual clothing. Lo: 41.
This Date in History: 1945
Pulitzer Prize-winning war correspondent Ernie Pyle was killed by Japanese machine-gun fire on the island of Ie Shima off the coast of Okinawa.
GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.18.14 >>>
"I didn't mean to laugh. I've just never seen this kind of muscle tone on a man before." I hate my HMO! Light rain all day at JBLM. Hi: 53.
This Date in History: 1970
With the world anxiously watching, Apollo 13, a U.S. lunar spacecraft that suffered a severe malfunction on its journey to the moon, safely returns to Earth.
GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.17.14 >>>
Scattered rain at JBLM today. Told news team while my mom’s on vacation, all her e-mails route to me, so it’s rather pointless to complain about my cloud mobiles. Chance it won’t rain: 10% Chance the ham dinner I had last night was not ham: 60%. Lo: 47.
This Date in History: 1972
In an effort to help blunt the ongoing North Vietnamese Nguyen Hue Offensive, the United States resumes bombing of Hanoi and Haiphong after a four-year lull.
GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.16.14 >>>
The rain comes back this afternoon at JBLM. Lost $27 to news team. Accu-Radar shaped like a corn dog. Chance of rain: 50%. Chance the intern will acknowledge me: 10%. Hi: 59.
This Date in History: 1912
At 2:20 a.m., the British ocean liner Titanic sinks into the North Atlantic Ocean about 400 miles south of Newfoundland, Canada.
GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.15.14 >>>
Partly cloudy day at JBLM. News team pantsed me during presentation to Chamber. Whispered “hairpiece” off-mic. Got flustered, mixed up New Hillside w/ Beachwood neighborhood. Lo: 44.
This Date in History: 1945
The U.S. Fifth Army joins its British allies in the assault on the German occupiers of Italy.
GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.14.14 >>>
Partly cloudy skies then clearing at JBLM. Change of rain: 10%. Chance the news team changed my license plate to LILFAT: 100%. Hi: 60s. Lies printed on my waffle iron: "Magic," "Easy Clean."
This Date in History: 1861
The bloodiest four years in American history begin when Confederate shore batteries under Gen. P.G.T. Beauregard open fire on Union-held Fort Sumter in South Carolina’s Charleston Bay.
GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.12.14 >>>
If only there was a high-tech way to replace your flat, expressionless gaze with a digital approximation of human warmth. Well, search no more. AgencyGlass is here.
SPRZ NY is a clothing line that features shirts, jackets, pants, dresses, tote bags, bandanas inspired by Keith Haring, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Andy Warhol, Jackson Pollockand other artists.
Deer Teen Me is a website on which authors pen letters to their teen selves.
Mostly clear day at JBLM. Looks like we’ll reach 60. Looks like news team stole my steak-um sandwich. Hate news team. Lo: 42.
This Date in History: 1945
American Third Army liberates the Buchenwald concentration camp, near Weimar, Germany, a camp that will be judged second only to Auschwitz in the horrors it imposed on its prisoners.
GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.11.14 >>>
Read Comments