Every Tuesday, "Check This Out" recommends movies available at your friendly local library. So you can satisfy your next film fix at the place with the books.
You must think me quite the Scrooge this week, thumbing my nose at this computer-animated adaptation of Dickens's classic mere days before Christmas. Believe me, I rented this from the library with high hopes of feeling as sugary and snug as a mug o' cocoa after watching. Instead the experience was as sleep-inducing as warm milk.
You've three elements joining forces in this film, which I thought would surely make it more memorable: 1) writer/director Robert Zemeckis, no stranger to pretty darn convincing animation (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?) and Christmas (A Polar Express); 2) Jim Carrey, who disappeared behind a furry green suit (and some excruciatingly painful contact lenses) to play that other hated hater of holidays, Mr. Grinch; and 3) Disney, the leading manufacturer of worldwide whimsy. How can you lose?
The sense of fun pervading past cinematic incarnations of this tale has lost out this time to a more somber mood. Zemeckis, with a love of long takes and inventive camera angles in his live-action efforts, seems oddly restrained in a medium that offers unlimited visual freedom. The early scenes with Carrey as miser plodding around his business and mansion possess an eerie lack of music and sounds of the world around him - England transformed into an endless urban graveyard. In fact, one of the film's first images is the grey-green face of a decaying corpse. Good thinking Disney! "Yule" love it, kids!
Disney's A Christmas Carol opens with death and closes on an old man choosing life when faced with his own impending demise. Tiny Tim, without even realizing it, reignites this long-dormant love for humanity in Scrooge; Dickens's story clings tight to this idea of youth's transformative power. So is believing that laughter, wonder and innocence can actually save too simplistic or simple-minded a notion? I couldn't say, but I do know such simple things could have saved this movie.
1. Tacoma native Erik Hanberg is a man who wears many hats. One day, you may see him fulfilling his duties as commissioner of Metro Parks Tacoma; on another, you may spy him petitioning to pay tribute to legendary scribe and fellow Tacoman Frank Herbert, author of the Dune series, by loaning the same moniker to a local park. More recently, you may have spied him signing copies of his newly released novel, The Lead Cloak, Book One of the Lattice Trilogy,which he'll do again at 7 p.m., Dec. 17 at the Tacoma Public Library Main Branch. Read Jackie Fender's Q&A with Erik Hanberg in the Music & Culture section.
O Smaug the Stupendous, this is Nerd Alert, the Weekly Volcano's recurring events calendar devoted to all things nerdy. I myself am a Star Wars fan, mathlete, and spelling bee champion of long standing, so trust me: I grok whereof I speak.
Remember how a few weeks ago, the geek schedule was so bare we had to break in with a gift guide? There was literally nothing of interest going on that we hadn't already told you about. That's because entertainment conglomerates prefer to bunch all their genre properties around the same three holidays: Memorial Day, the Fourth of July and Christmas. Ergo, a whole passel of Oscar hopefuls cluster around Christmas. That's true in spades this year, as if you weren't already trying to catch up on 12 Years a Slave, American Hustle, Captain Phillips, Ender's Game, Frozen, Gravity, Her (Dec. 18), The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Saving Mr. Banks and Thor: The Dark World, each still in theaters, and each worth your time. In fact, as you read this, you're probably waiting in line for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Good news? That movie's even longer than the line to get in.
FRIDAY, DEC. 20
News team ... assemble! That's right, Wednesday brings the long-anticipated return of San Diego's conquering hero, Ron Burgundy, along with Veronica Corningstone, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick "I love lamp" Tamland, and a raft of supporting cameos. How much do I love the first Anchorman? Let's just say I wear Sex Panther on special occasions, milady. It stings the nostrils! So I'll be first in line for Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, and it's a sign of the unshakability of my marriage that my co-anchor Amanda will be there by my side - despite the fact that there's no empirical evidence any woman has ever laughed at Anchorman. I don't know how that works. I'll be honest: I don't think anyone knows. Whammy!
If your significant other isn't as amenable to comic greatness as mine is, you could send him/her and the kids to Walking with Dinosaurs - which is basically Disney's Dinosaur from 2000 all over again, except this time the CGI's a little better and the dinos are pachyrhinosaurs instead of iguanodons. (So yeah, if you had "pachyrhinosaurus" in your office poll, a winner is you.) Two big strikes against natural history here: the reptiles in this film can talk, and they probably won't eat a lawyer off a toilet. Come on, Disney, it's not like you don't have corporate lawyers to spare!
MONDAY, DEC. 23
Between all these movie-watching excursions, be sure to catch the free community sing-along of Handel's Messiah. It's incredibly moving and a highlight of Oly's holiday season. "For unto us a Child is bo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-orn!" I think there are actually about 17 more O's. 7 p.m., Washington Center for the Performing Arts, 512 Washington St. SE, Olympia, free to sing (scores $10), 360.352.1438
WEDNESDAY, DEC. 25
Ho ho ho, it looks like Santa brought you a crouching tiger, hidden Keanu. Christmas Day brings that festive gumdrop, 47 Ronin, in which our Hawaiian-Canadian hero (born in Beirut) and, I'm guessing, 46 sans-shogun samurai square off against Asiatic monsters and the memory of countless superior wu xia films. It's based on what's been called the "national legend" of Japan, Shi-ju-shichi-shi, so at least it has that going for it ... well, that, and Keanu "Wyld Stallyns" Reeves. So yeah, have fun with that, Japan. (To be fair, I said the same thing about The Matrix, which turned out to be awesome. Good thing they never made unwatchable sequels to that, am I right?!)
James Thurber fans, represent! The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, also released Christmas Day, is actor-director Ben Stiller's reimagining of the classic Thurber tale about an ordinary schnook who daydreams of greatness. It features Sean Penn, Kristen Wiig, and - tell me this doesn't foretell comedy magnificence - Patton Oswalt as an eHarmony customer service rep. I love the trailers, but at time of writing RottenTomatoes.com has Mitty at a cringe-inducing 38 percent. Ouch. Bah, humbug.
The Wolf of Wall Street is Martin Scorsese's black-comic biopic of stock market manipulator Jordan Belfort. It stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Matthew McConaughey and the rack of fake teeth crammed into the mouth of Jonah Hill. For what it's worth, Peter Travers of Rolling Stone says it's the third-best movie of 2013, behind Gravity and that movie about slavery you couldn't coax yourself into seeing. Shame on you! And me.
Finally, August: Osage County is a star-studded adaptation of Tracy Letts's riveting play, and some Canadian punk's tagging cities around the world in Justin Bieber's Believe. Note the apostrophe-S in the title, friends. He owns that word now. It's true. Just by typing it, I owe him 30 bucks.
Until next week, may the Force be with you, may the odds be ever in your favor, and may you go back to your home on Whore Island. You're a real hooker. I'm gonna slap you in public.
Some days you just don't feel like paying for another Redbox rental, and the next movie on your Netflix queue takes FOREVER to arrive in your mailbox. And recession or no, who can pass up free, convenient entertainment? Every Tuesday, "Check This Out" recommends movies available at any of the eight branches of your friendly local library. So you can satisfy your next film fix at the place with the books.
The man in the heavy coat approaches his car windshield, ice scraper in gloved hand. Back and forth, back and forth the scraper goes across the layer of ice coating the glass. Its pitifully dull edges barely make a dent. The man scrapes harder, faster; his chapped lips pucker into a grimace. His patience reaching absolute zero, he throws the scraper and a shriek of rage into the gray sky above.
I was going to start off this article by saying that you couldn't pay me to sit through another Tolkien movie, but that's just not true: $25, plus food and drink, or best offer.
My pliability not withstanding, the fact remains that Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy has stolen away from me roughly 15 hours or so, at last count. Heavenly Creatures would've given me back 90 minutes, but The Frighteners cancels that right out, and Dead Alive is essentially a wash.
WWE Wrestling Champion John Cena took time to talk and joke with soldiers assigned to 1st Battalion, 38th Infantry Regiment Wednesday, Dec. 11 at JBLM. Photo credit: J.M. Simpson
"Josh, thank you for teaching me how to make this target very dead!!" Cena wrote in blue ink on the target after he had fired a M4 rifle and perforated it with more than 50 bullet holes.
"Thank you!" said a very enthused Saye as Cena handed over the target.
Regretfully, I spent much of this year cocooned in solitude; too poor and depressed to do much beyond learn the names of the most praised cultural items of 2013. As such, it makes it quite difficult to put together a proper year-end "Best Of" list, as I am normally wont to do. Instead of making a token attempt at assembling a list, I'll just give you a miniscule sampling of things that both came out this year and that I saw and enjoyed. This Venn diagram is pocket-sized.
Movies
Coincidentally, the two films that I was most intrigued by this year are hardline nerd-bait. These films are the most fascinating and infuriating releases I saw this year, and neither one of them give a damn about whether or not you can follow along - for two very different reasons.
Room 237 is ostensibly a documentary about Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, told from the point of view of a handful of unseen talking heads. Each of these unseen narrators has a different completely bonkers theory about what's really going on in Kubrick's classic horror. Some make a certain amount of sense (Kubrick was a bored genius who put in subliminal sexual messages just to fuck with people), and some are hysterical batshit (The Shining was Kubrick's allegory for the faked moon landing/the Trail of Tears/World War II). Regardless of whether you believe any of these theories, which you won't, Room 237 is a brilliant essay on a brilliant film - and you'll be just itching to go back and revisit Kubrick's masterwork.
Upstream Color is only the second film from Shane Carruth - released almost a decade after his mind-expanding and impenetrable debut, Primer - and I couldn't spoil it for you if my life depended on it. Something about mind control, I think? Just like Primer, Upstream Color begs to be watched with friends and argued about for the rest of the night. It's the hardest of sci-fi's, and visually stunning to boot.
Podcasts
Podcasts are my only friends, and I will tell you about some of my favorites this year.
Harmontown: Hosted by the volatile and whip-smart creator of Community, Dan Harmon, Harmontown is a live, weekly "town hall meeting" hosted by Harmon and his longtime friend, Jeff Davis (Whose Line is it Anyway?). Besides stream-of-consciousness rants about dicks and existential discussions on the ins-and-outs of escaping Earth and building a colony on the moon, Harmontown is ultimately an examination on the difficulty of being a professional creative person while simultaneously being a functioning member of society. Add to that a hilarious, never-ending campaign of Dungeons & Dragons, which ends every episode, and it's a can't-miss.
Stop Podcasting Yourself: Featuring two comedians (Dave Shumka and Graham Clark) up in Vancouver, B.C., just shooting the shit with a weekly guest, Stop Podcasting Yourself is the classic formula for the chat show podcast. What keeps me hooked is the pure, ineffable amiability of the two hosts. SPY is the show that most consistently makes me smile, which epitomizes the greatest thing about podcasts: it's like visiting your best, funniest friends once a week.
Welcome to Night Vale: For those that want a bit more in their podcasts than just some guys sitting around talking, Welcome to Night Vale does a fine job of utilizing the weirdly uncommon format of the radio play. Punchy articles about Welcome to Night Vale like to describe it as A Prairie Home Companion meets H.P. Lovecraft, and that certainly does fit. However, for people that came of age in the '90s, I think a more apt comparison is to the surreal world-building of the Sideways Stories from Wayside School book series. Every dryly hilarious, claustrophobic news report about the mysterious desert town of Night Vale adds absurdly specific levels to the town's growing mythology. With less than 40 episodes at less than half an hour each, this is one you can catch up on in no time.
1. This year's Classical Tuesdays Wine & Song Benefit in Old Town Tacoma will feature operetta selections from Offenbach and Gilbert and Sullivan, and some Kurt Weill to represent the Berlin operetta style that crosses over to cabaret. It will also feature mezzo-soprano Dawn Padula accompanied by pianist Denes Van Parys - doling out tunes by Edith Piaf, William Bolcom and songs from Kander and Ebb's musical, Cabaret. Equally important, the night will feature lovely Cabernets, which kicks off at 7 p.m. inside the Connelly Law Offices. This annual event benefits the free Classical Tuesdays in Old Town chamber music series.
THIS IS NEXT WEEK: 1. Tacoma native Erik Hanberg is a man who wears many hats. One day, you may see him fulfilling his duties as commissioner of Metro Parks Tacoma; on another, you may spy him petitioning to pay tribute to legendary scribe and fellow Tacoman Frank Herbert, author of the Dune series, by loaning the same moniker to a local park. More recently, you may have spied him signing copies of his newly released novel, The Lead Cloak, Book One of the Lattice Trilogy,which he'll do again at 7 p.m., Dec. 17 at the Tacoma Public Library Main Branch. Read Jackie Fender's Q&A with Erik Hanberg in the Music & Culture section.
2. If you prefer to purchase your daddy issues in bulk, you might buy into the paterfamilias misery of Gilles Legrand's unnerving drama You Will Be My Son, offering heavy value in the I-Hate-You-Dad Department. Exacting in his work and uncaring in everything else, Paul (Niels Arestrup) pours every ounce of love and attention he's got into his successful Saint-Émilion winery, leaving nothing for his son, Martin (Lorànt Deutsch). Yikes. See how it plays out at 2:30 and 6:30 p.m. at The Grand Cinema.
3. How do you escape the pressures of the holidays, like, really quickly? Bundle up, drop your packages in the trunk, pinch your cheeks until they glow and strap on a pair of silver skates, Hans Brinker, for a glide across the frozen expanse at Tollefson Plaza. The Franciscan Polar Plaza, located on the corner of Pacific Avenue and South 17th Street. The covered outdoor rink is about half the size of a hockey rink. It will have real ice and hold about 150 skaters at a time. It's open from 4-9 p.m.
4. Spanaway has some similarities with Texas. For one, Spanaway likes to go big - in the drive-thru line, and when it comes to holiday light displays. In its wattage-chowing 18th year, Fantasy Lights offers oohers and ahhers a night of blinking and glowing bliss from 5:30-9 p.m. The two and a quarter mile long parade of lit-up scenery has its own peculiar sense of majesty, and it goes without saying that it's the perfect treat for a family to soak up the holiday spirit.
5. Berkeley singer/songwriter Ryan Dishen will perform at 9 p.m. in Le Voyeur in downtown Olympia.
1. The Alaskan band Historian is reminiscent of Tacoma's Pioneers West, with their wounded animal lead vocals, mixed with the sort of populist guitar rock of Handsome Furs. Historian delivers a tough indie rock, surging with bruised masculinity. Catch the band at 8 p.m. in the all-ages venue Northern in downtown Olympia.
2. You're sick and tired of driving through the neighborhood looking at the homes of people who think they deserve an award for their light displays. You deserve to take a night to go see Zoolights at Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium. Billed as the region's biggest walk-through light show, Zoolights includes animated light sculptures, live entertainment, snacks, animal encounters and the Paul Titus Carousel. While enjoying your stroll, be thankful you're not in charge of this holiday light display. The lights flip on at 5 p.m.
3. How do you escape the pressures of the holidays, like, really quickly? Bundle up, drop your packages in the trunk, pinch your cheeks until they glow and strap on a pair of silver skates, Hans Brinker, for a glide across the frozen expanse at Tollefson Plaza. The Franciscan Polar Plaza, located on the corner of Pacific Avenue and South 17th Street. The covered outdoor rink is about half the size of a hockey rink. It will have real ice and hold about 150 skaters at a time. It's open from 4-9 p.m.
4. Watch out, Quentin Tarantino and Christopher Nolan: A new generation of directors wants your jobs. These aspiring filmmakers will showcase their efforts at the first TCC Student Film Showcase. A team-taught class at Tacoma Community College's Gig Harbor campus launched a film event that will raise funds for student veterans in honor of TCC's former Veterans' Affairs coordinator, the late Bill Harrington. With the volunteer assistance of TCC alumnus and film school grad Bryan Schroeder, instructors Christie Fierro and Mike Blair took students through the basics of film production in one quarter. Collaborating with Peninsula School District and the Gig Harbor Film Festival, they also set up the film showcase from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at Gig Harbor's Uptown's Galaxy Theater. The venture received an outpouring of community support. Net proceeds will benefit TCC's veterans through the Bill Harrington Fund, who passed away earlier this year. Read Melissa Renahan's full feature on the TCC Student Film Showcase in the Veterans section.
5. Tacoma's own Swing Reunion Orchestra sets the stage full of holiday spirit at 7:30 p.m. during Tacoma Musical Playhouse's annual Big Band Christmas.
1. This date in history marks the day Prohibition was repealed back in 1933, and Olympia bartenders and the folks at the Olympia Film Society will be celebrating in grand style with an evening of burlesque, music, films and craft cocktails at 6 p.m. in the Capitol Theater. From classic cocktails to Tush! Burlesque and Greta Jane Quartet's old-timey music in the 1924 theater, it will indeed be a celebration. Read Nikki McCoy's full story on the event here.
2. Spark: a Burning Man Story is an engaging documentary that gives audiences a rare behind-the-scenes look at Burning Man - a week-long annual art exhibition/party/socioeconomic experiment held in the Black Rock Desert in northern Nevada. While on the surface it may appear to be nothing more than a bunch of hippies living it up in the desert, Burning Man is a monumental undertaking, requiring months of planning and the combined efforts of hundreds of people to pull off each year. The film screens at 2 and 9 p.m. with a film discussion after 9 p.m. show at The Grand Cinema. Read Jared Lovrak's full review of Spark: A Burning Man Story in the Movies section.
3. Hear ye, hear ye, longtime (or short time) people of Tacoma and the South Sound! Job Carr, Tacoma's original Gritizen and the first settler in these here parts, has a sweet little museum and original cabin replica in his honor in Tacoma's Old Town district (birthplace of our wonderful city), set near the shores of Commencement Bay. Feel all old-fashiony and nostalgic at the Old Town tree lighting celebration at the museum site and Old Town Park from 4-6 p.m. Free photos with Santa, cookies and hot cocoa (while supplies last) mark the event. Even better, non-perishable food donations for Food Connection will be accepted during the event.
4. Circle of Friends in Action, or COFIA, hosts a night of holiday shopping to benefit health and educational programs for the students in Rubongi, Uganda at St. Jude's Primary School. From 6-8:30 p.m. in Tacoma's Proctor and Triangle/St. Helens districts, select retailers, businesses and restaurants will donate a percentage of tonight's sales to the cause. St. Helens neighborhood: Dwelling, Giraffe and Maxwell's Speakeasy. Proctor District: Compass Rose, Megs & Mo, Pacific Northwest Shop, Soul, Teaching Toys, The Old House Mercantile Company, Envy, Foxfire Salon and Spa Aveda.
5. Tommy Johnagin started stand-up at the age of 18, dropping out of college at 21 to become a full time comedian. Tommy vows he will one day make enough money to pay his parents back for the six semesters of college he wasted. Catch him at 8 p.m. in the Tacoma Comedy Club.
MONDAY, DEC. 23
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