MONDAY, OCT. 28 2013 >>>

1. Tacoma's Art at Work Month has become a Godzilla's feast of literary, visual and performing arts. Is there any other town of comparable size in the Western Hemisphere that has anything to match it? We don't think so. November is Art at Work Month, but the festivities actually begin at 6 p.m. with an opening party and the AMOCAT Arts Awards presentation inside and outside of the Foss Waterway Seaport. The free event offers appetizers, dessert and a no-host bar while Taxi Driver plays jazz, Tacoma Community College artists pour molten iron into blocks of ice, BareFoot Collective dances, Fab-5 breakdances, Tacoma Poet Laureate Lucas Smiraldo paints with words and Kat Ogden and Carla Barragan screen their latest films. As a bonus this year, Diane Hansen will remove the rope around her soon-to-be-installed public art piece, The Locks, so guests may personalize a provided padlock to hang on the installation. Toward the middle of the evening, Mayor Marilyn Strickland and the Tacoma Arts Commission will present the three 2013 AMOCAT Arts Awards winners, as well as the 2013 arts fund recipients. Dress warm.

2. The frights are upon us once again, and there are, as always, plenty of ways to spend the Devil's holiday. The Weekly Volcano has listed the parties, the theater performances, haunted houses, the kids fare and the rock 'n' roll here - it's up to you to decide where you'll go, and, of course, what you'll wear. Boo, South Sound.

3. Janelle Gordon is a Jamaican native who is a poet, performance artist, painter, designer and photographer, as well as a University of Puget Sound alumna. In her work as a mixed media artist, she promotes art as an experience and describes her style as "freestyle." Gordon is the author of the poetry chapbook i&i Reflections (2013), which explores issues of cultural, spiritual, and sexual identities. She has produced and participated in numerous art and fashion shows including Spectrum of Colors, which was composed of exhibits exploring the combination of writing and painting. Gordon is co-founder of JFearon art and design company and artistic director of kbphotoart.com studio. At 6:30 p.m., as part of UPS's Caribbean Writer Series, Gordon will lecture on "I & I Reflections: A Poetic Exploration of Spiritual, Cultural, and Sexual Identities" at the Rasmussen Rotunda in the Wheelock Student Center.

4. Academy Award-nominated director Richard E. Robbins' highly-acclaimed film Girl Risingis an innovative documentary telling the stories of nine girls from around the world who, through access to education and mentoring, have risen from poverty to productivity and a promising future, narrated by Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Liam Neeson, Cate Blanchett, Selena Gomez and other Hollywood luminaries. At the heart of the film is the desire to educate girls and change the world. Uptown's Galaxy Theatre will screen the film at Gig Harbor's Galaxy Theatres as a fundraiser for Strong Women Strong World, YWCA of Pierce County and Jubilee Women's Center. The doors will open at 5:30 p.m. with a silent auction and raffle, followed by a few words from the national director of World Vision Women of Vision's Cindy Breihl, before the 6:30 p.m. screening.

5. The stereotype is racing through your head: Everyone is in all black, many are wearing dark and heavy eye make-up and every now and then, the DJ stops a tune with a vertebrae-shattering guitar riff for chants of, "Kill! Kill! Kill!" But O'Malley's "Mondays For The Damned," is not some cartoon-like parody like you see in the movies. For the most part, the Monday DJ night is just your typical above ground underground new wave, synth pop, Goth, industrial and post-punk haven, and, tonight at 9 p.m., it's one of the best places to find yourself in the company of the city's Goth scene.

LINK: Monday, Oct. 28 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

Look, if you're expecting me to get on my high horse about how the quality of entertainment provided by the Jackass movies and TV show, you will be sorely disappointed. Quite possibly one of the lowest-brow show concepts in the history of media, Jackass succeeded despite itself. In between visceral gags like self-inflicting paper cuts and defecating in Home Depot display toilets, there were genuinely ingenious stunts sprinkled about.

I have a lot of empathy for the Jackass crew. They're essentially professional wrestlers - bodies broken by the age of 40, with little to no transferable skills - so I applaud their attempts at second careers that don't involve injuring themselves, like Steve-O's foray into standup comedy. Unfortunately, Johnny Knoxville's latest stab at non-hospitalization takes the form of Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, which highlights what were unequivocally the worst segments of Jackass: sub-Candid Camera pranks of social awkwardness, featuring Knoxville in disguise as an elderly man.

In a Borat-esque effort to combine hidden camera hijinks with a scripted story, Bad Grandpa centers around Knoxville's old man character, named Irving Zisman, going on a cross-country adventure with his precocious young grandson. What follows is a series of public goof-em-ups that take what little charm there was in the ultra-low budget escapades of Jackass' past and bulks them up with a bigger budget and less of that old gonzo energy.

The trailer ends with a legitimately troubling scene of the little boy posing as a girl and entering into one of those reprehensible child beauty pageants. While it's clear that the little actor is totally game - and while the scene ends with Knoxville throwing dollar bills at the kid, making it clear that this is meant to be satire what makes those pageants so gross - there's just no getting over seeing a child wearing negligee and crawling around on a stage.

Knowing what we know now about the futures of the Jackass crew, it'd probably be pretty hard to morally advocate ushering in the next generation of young dudes doing dangerous things (though there are undoubtedly those who would want to apply). Though they've aged themselves out of the game, the Jackass guys were always best when they took aim at themselves. Bad Grandpa seems a sad reminder of what happens when Jackass turns its attention outward.

THURSDAY, OCT. 24 2013 >>>

1. FLAVOR, a night of dining at immigrant-owned and immigrant-supporting restaurants will be held tonight with participating restaurants kicking back 25 percent of food sales to Tacoma Community House. Participating restaurants include El Toro downtown, Indochine, Lele, Gateway to India, El Guadalajara, Adriatic Grill, Il Lucano, La Crème Brulee, La Fondita and others. To add excitement to the night, TCH will offer several prize packages, including a seven-day Mexico trip, Keurig B70 Platinum Brewing System, restaurant gift cards and cookbooks. Read Kristin Kendle's full story, including participating restaurants, here.

2. The annual Beautiful Tables Showcase, in Lakewold Garden's Wagner House, evokes the gracious spirit of entertaining while offering the visitors ideas to continue the tradition at home. The event showcases more than 30 table decorators from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

3. Two highly distinctive, contemporary artists, Jeanne van Heeswijk and Randy Bolton, will be featured in free public events this fall as part of University of Puget Sound's Living Art visiting artist series. The events include presentations, conversations, a reception and art exhibit. At 5:30 p.m. in the University's Kittredge Art Gallery, van Heeswijk will discuss how art can promote urban renewal and participation, as well as the strategies that she employs in creating her socially engaged art.

4. Today, low-income people and the middle class are now in the same boat - living near poverty, or an illness, lost job, or disaster away from poverty. Eight low-income and middle class families living in and around Portland, Ore., each of whom called 211info, a nonprofit referral organization, in search of help with paying bills, finding housing, or getting advice on how to weather the current financial downturn, are profiled in the documentary, American Winter, directed by Emmy Award-winning filmmakers Joe and Harry Gantz (Taxicab Confessions, The Defenders). Shot over the winter of 2011-12, this powerful film reveals the human impact of budget cuts to social services, rising poverty and economic inequality and the fracturing of the American Dream. Catch it at 6:45 p.m. in The Grand Cinema.

5. The frights are upon us once again, and there are, as always, plenty of ways to spend the Devil's holiday. The Weekly Volcano has compiled a giant list of Halloween parties, theater performances, haunted houses, kids fare and music - it's up to you to decide where you'll go, and, of course, what you'll wear. It all starts today. Boo, South Sound.

LINK: Thursday, Oct. 24 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

Listen to us, the children of the night. What music we make! This is Nerd Alert, the Weekly Volcano's recurring events calendar devoted to all things nerdy. I myself am a Star Wars fan, mathlete, and spelling bee champion of long standing, so trust me: I grok whereof I speak.

I've been a fan of Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game (though not his far-right politics) since I was in high school. So why am I so dubious about the movie, which opens Nov. 1? Is it because Harrison Ford has been on Ambien since 1990, or because Ender's trailer boasts the best visual effects of 2006? Let's hope director Gavin Hood displays the mastery he brought to ... uh ... X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Uh-oh.

FRIDAY, OCT. 25

This may seem a tad self-serving, but OM effing G, I'm so geeked out about my weekend plans! Why? Because I'm one of the actors in Lakewood Playhouse's live, radio-style revival of Orson Welles's The War of the Worlds! Not only will we be performing the 1938 radio drama live before your ears to commemorate its - and the Playhouse's - 75th anniversary, but you'll also get sound effects created to order. That's not even the best part! No, we'll also be paying tribute to a certain expat Kryptonian Boy Scout for his silver birthday, plus a horror short called "The Giggler." You can hear me as a deranged German and Gott knows what else by the time our triple feature is through. (I was this close to playing Superman's pal Jimmy Olsen!) It's a fun night out, but beware: you only have two nights to catch it. And stay away from that crater in Grovers Mill! There's something not at all right about that place.

THE WAR OF THE WORLDS, 8 p.m., Friday, Oct. 25 and Saturday, Oct. 26, Lakewood Playhouse, 5729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd., Lakewood, $20-$25, 253.588.0042

SATURDAY, OCT. 26

The only down side to being in War of the Worlds is I'm missing this year's Night of the Living Tribute Bands, which is a sobbing shame because They Might Be Giants, you guys! We're talkin' Triangle Man hates "Particle Man." Get old with "Ana Ng." "I Palindrome I," you son of a bitch! If that doesn't put a little "Birdhouse in Your Soul," then I don't know what ... other than to note that the Beasties, Iron Butterfly, the Pixies, Queens of the Stone Age, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and the Specials will all be on the line-up as well. So yeah, it's pretty much pop-rock paradise for Gen X-ers.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING TRIBUTE BANDS, 8:30 p.m., Capitol Theater, 206 5th Ave. SE, Olympia, $8-$10, 360.754.6670

TUESDAY, OCT. 29

If you're the age of our typical reader, then you grew up with Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. They and their fellow Gryffindors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry have become part of the Muggle world mythology; still, that doesn't mean we can't have a few laughs at their expense. Comedians Daniel Clarkson and Jeff Turner send up all seven Potter novels and stage a live match of Quidditch in only 70 hysterical minutes in Potted Potter: The Unauthorized Harry Experience.  We're talking 300 characters, many female, with a variety of accents from Beauxbatons in France to the highlands of Scotland. Oh, and what the hell, let's throw in a fire-breathing dragon - live on stage. The show opens on a Tuesday, so you have literally nothing better to do that night.

POTTED POTTER: THE UNAUTHORIZED HARRY EXPERIENCE, 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 29-Saturday, Nov. 2, also 9:30 p.m., Friday, Nov. 1 and 3 p.m. Nov. 2-3, Rialto Theater, 310 S. Ninth St., Tacoma, $38-$59, 253.591.2013

Thursday, Oct. 31 is All Hallow's Eve, so check out the Rutledge Corn Maze in Tumwater (302 93rd Ave. SE), the high-tech Hell's Gateway in Tacoma (202 Fawcett Ave.), Lacey's My Morbid Mind haunted mansion (4548 Marvin Rd. SE) and Halloween Hellmouth in Lakewood (8415 Lawndale Ave. SW). Or you could just build and activate a Speak & Spell radio with your pet alien.

Until next week, may the Force be with you, may the odds be ever in your favor, and may your enemy's gate always be down.

SUNDAY, OCT. 20 2013 >>>

1. The Tacoma Cult Movie Club hosts another 7 p.m. screening at Tacoma's Acme Grub Cage. Appropriately, this month's theme is vampires. While Rev. Colin doesn't release the titles of the gems he'll screen, if we know Rev. Colin, he'll bust out the British Vampyres, the story of a lesbian pair that battles when one of them falls for a man they've kidnapped while hitchhiking. Next, we suspect he'll turn more European, with Daughters of Darkness finding another femme fatale duo (led by French New Wave dame Delphine Seyrig) that welcomes the wife of their latest kill into the fold. It's a crapshoot really, except the popcorn and zany prizes. You can always count on the popcorn and raffle.

2. In your desperation to design your Walter and Jesse Halloween costumes, you might overlook Dia de los Muertos. The Day of the Dead, Nov. 3, is seen by many as Mexico's most important holiday, a time to honor family members, friends and mentors who have passed on in a loving, respectful way. However, it is not too early to appease your indignant kin. Centro Latino leads community groups and Stadium High School students in the installation of several ornate ofrendas (altars) commemorating the deceased at the Tacoma Art Museum from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. The altars will be laden with offerings of food and drink to honor loved ones. Local artist Fulgencio Lazo and his team of professionals and volunteers fill the Marie A. Helmer Lobby with a colorful tapete (large sand painting). 

3. The Weekly Volcano will join all those who worship Thor, Odin and other Norse gods from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. when the Sons of Norway's annual Lutefisk Dinner hits Normanna Hall. While loaded with vendors selling clogs, sweaters, Sigvat jewelry, Viking ships in bottles, ABBA records, pewter Norse gods and Kongetinn wine goblets, we attend the festival for the food.  We will dive in to some big slabs of yummy jellied pressed Lutefisk, meatballs and baked goods while reading from the Rigsbula: The Lay of Rig from the Poetic Edda. Afterward, we'll take a nap and dream of large sledgehammers and cute pointy helmets and enormous women shaped like huge pomegranates belting out Wagner.

4. Head over to see Tacoma City Ballet performance of Haunted Theatre: Backstage Tour and Eerie Dances at 3 p.m. inside the Merlino Arts Center. Walk behind the scenes in an old ballet studio and see what kind of chills, thrills, and arabesques lurk as Tacoma City Ballet dancers perform spooky Halloween ballets complete with bats, marionettes, ghosts, monsters, mummified Egyptian cats, pumpkins, skeletons and witches.

5. Guitarist Jeffrey Hamilton Steele and pianist Monica Steele will perform pieces from Bach, Rodrigo and Barrios at 3 p.m. in the Antique Sandwich Company.

LINK: Sunday, Oct. 20 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

SATURDAY, OCT. 19 2013 >>>

1. For some, running can be an excruciating experience. To many others, it's what they live for. But however you feel about running, there's no doubt the experience can be improved by the donning of a ghoulish costume or vampire teeth and a cape. Enter the Black Cat Fun Run, a family-friendly 2.5 or 5-mile jaunt through Point Defiance Park set to go down at dusk. Organized by Metro Parks Tacoma, the event caters to runners and walkers of all levels, and the registration fee gets you a running cap with lighted brim, glow necklace and live music, hat bales and snack at the finish line ... or water if you're, like, a really hardcore runner and stuff.

2. What would all this Halloween talk be without perhaps the most classic (and bloodiest) Halloween-y performance of them all? Head over to see Tacoma City Ballet performance of Haunted Theatre: Backstage Tour and Eerie Dances at 3 and 5 p.m. inside the Merlino Arts Center. Walk behind the scenes in an old ballet studio and see what kind of chills, thrills, and arabesques lurk as Tacoma City Ballet dancers perform spooky Halloween ballets complete with bats, marionettes, ghosts, monsters, mummified Egyptian cats, pumpkins, skeletons and witches. Afterward, go grab a "bite." The dance company will be sure to make a great impression (or is it a great mark?) on you.

3. Actor Elliott Gould will appear at a 7 p.m. screening of the 1970 Robert Altman film M.A.S.H., in which Gould played Trapper John McIntyre, as a fundraiser for the Olympia Film Society's digital cinema campaign at the Capitol Theater.

4. PugetBrass will perform traditional and contemporary literature in a unique and entertaining style popularized by British colliery bands of the early 20th century at 7:30 p.m. in Tacoma Community Coolege Building 2 Auditorium.

5. "For an event that pretty much takes the worst elements you could possibly combine together," says Craig Egan, "we've had surprisingly little amount of trouble." Egan is speaking about his annual take on Oktoberfest, called Maltoberfest at 7 p.m. inside Bob's Java Jive. It doesn't take much detective work to figure out that Maltoberfest celebrates that most dubious of concoctions: malt liquor. Now in its eighth year - and with the ridiculous subtitle of "Maltoberfest 8: Menace II Sobriety" - the event brings together all of Tacoma's rabble-rousers for a night of punk, hip-hop, German nonsense and many dozens of forties of Old English, Mickey's, and Steel Reserve. Read Rev. Adam McKinney's full feature on Maltoberfest 8: Menace II Sobriety in Music and Culture section.

LINK: Saturday, Oct. 19 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

"It was almost too easy," thought aloud the shadowy President of Hollywood, as a gloved hand emerged from behind a leather chair to reach for a rock glass of brandy. No one had ever seen his face, but his influence was felt in all corners of the world.

"Soon," hissed the mysterious figure. "Soon, my master plan will come to fruition. The golden age of '80s and '90s sci-fi action madness will run wild over a placid movie-going public. And, to think, all I had to do was bring two septuagenarian, plastic-faced men out of retirement and force them to star together in a futuristic prison-break vehicle."

Over on the dimly lit wall of the President's office hung a poster embossed with bold lettering, all studded steel and crude red underlines, but what stood out most were two names: Stallone. Schwarzenegger.

Off in the corner, a hairless cat hissed in recoil at the sight of Escape Plan. It is said that animals sense evil more viscerally than humans, and what this cat could see was what no one else would come to realize until it was far too late: in addition to Escape Plan being a return to the kind of dumbshit macho popcorn fare of Stallone and Schwarzenegger's early career, it would also be the thing to bring about the end of days.

"The Expendables triptych and Schwarzenegger's shrug of a comeback with The Last Stand - those were just the beginning," cackled the President of Hollywood. "Wait until the unwashed masses feast their eyes on the story of Breslin, the professional prison-break artist, as portrayed by marble-mouthed Sly Stallone. Wait until they see him enter the high-tech super prison and form a shaky alliance with Schwarzenegger's Rottmayer, and bond over jokes about vegetarians. Watch them gasp at the sight of Vincent D'Onofrio and 50 Cent with whatever they're doing. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!"

The hairless cat vomited in the corner. The evil was just too much.

After another sip of brandy, the President of Hollywood called out to his assistant, "Get me John McTiernan and Walter Hill. The end, it is nigh!"

SUNDAY, OCT. 20

The Tacoma Cult Movie Club has been raging on for several years at the Acme Grub Cage. It's a home for misfit lovers of films, good and bad alike. Rev. Colin organizes the event, and it brings around curious drunkards to take in cinematic question marks. These are films that range in genre from b-movie prison erotica to stop-motion creature features to apocalyptic excursions into the mouths of madness.

Of course, the quality of films is bound to vary, but the binding element is always this sense of wild-eyed enthusiasm of "Fuck, let's go make a movie!" Whether or not these movies end up being what they were intended is just lost in the addled wonder of creating.

It's October, so there can be no avoiding the necessity to take in some shitty horror movies. Tacoma Cult Movie Club is naturally the first place to turn when it comes to plumbing the extraordinary depths of forgotten horror relics. This Sunday, the theme of the evening will be "vampires." It doesn't really need to be reiterated how much the culture has devalued vampires as a terrifying commodity. They're a trope that's been reduced to abs with teeth, with a good deal of moping mixed in between.

Rev. Colin will not deliver the shabby vampires of new. Although he can't reveal what films will be screened, he did have a statement to make: "As if Sunday nights don't suck enough, the Tacoma Cult Movie Club will be showing vampire films Sunday night. There are so many good-bad options that I am still figuring out the best route to achieve total viewing euphoria for those who love movies that suck."

On a personal note, please do yourself a favor for Halloween and watch either the simultaneously hilarious and moving Nosferatu meta-biopic Shadow of the Vampire or Werner Herzog's gorgeous Nosferatu the Vampyre.

TACOMA CULT MOVIE CLUB, 7 p.m., Sunday, Oct. 20, Acme Grub Cage, 1310 Tacoma Ave S., Tacoma, no cover, 253.272.1892]

IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT-FUTURE

Speaking of Halloween, TheWrap.com reports that of a reunion between Step Brothers duo John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell in a movie called Devil's Night, the release date of which is still uncertain. Naturally, the film is said to take place on Oct. 30, the titular "Devil's Night," where all true mayhem and absurdity run amok before the amateurs come out on the 31st.

Anyone who saw Step Brothers can attest that Reilly and Ferrell have a certain obnoxious chemistry together - Reilly, finally pushing to the fore that hint of comedy that always lurked underneath his performances in movies like Boogie Nights, and Ferrell, persisting in being the goddamn oaf that refuses to do another movie like the great Stranger Than Fiction.

Early descriptions of the plot describe Devil's Night as a movie about two childhood friends who grow apart and then, 15 years later, "put their differences aside and reunite to save their neighborhood from utter destruction," which sounds uncomfortably similar to the recent Edgar Wright joint, The World's End.

Needless to say, there's likely to be a whole lot more improvisational grab-assing between Reilly and Ferrell than there was with Nick Frost and Simon Pegg. I'll leave that to you whether that's a plus or a minus.

LINK: Past Nerd Alert columns

TUESDAY, OCT. 15 2013 >>>

1. Tacoma's Head Bookworm Erik Hanberg is everywhere. If he's not helping old ladies across the street, or building little houses for squirrels at every park in Tacoma, or designing a marketing program with his wife, or ballroom dancing to raise money for charities, or giving local dignitaries a ride on a 12-person bike, or building a shrine out of cocktail swizzle sticks for Tacoma author Frank Herbert, he's releasing a new book. Old ladies, squirrels, dance partners, city councilmembers and cocktails will be on hold tonight as Hanberg releases yet another book, The Lead Cloak, with a book launch party at 7 p.m. in King's Books. The book, his first science fiction adventure, is set in 2081 when "The Lattice" enables anyone to re-live any moment of his or her life. According to pre-event hype, "Most people love (The Lattice). Some want to destroy it. Colonel Byron Shaw has just saved the Lattice from the most dangerous attack in its history." It's best to arrive at King's early as the Stadium District bookstore will, no doubt, be full of old ladies, squirrels, dancers, Tacoma City Councilmembers, drinkers and his wife, Mary.

2. Based on true events and laced with wry humor, Still Mine is a heartfelt love story about an 89-year-old New Brunswicker who comes up against the system when he sets out to build a more suitable house for his wife whose memory is starting to go. The Grand Cinema screens the flick at 2:10 and 6:40 p.m.

3. Women vs. men. Make all your jokes about remote controls and refusing to ask for directions, but we all know it's way more complicated than that. The complexities are ripe for the examining, precisely what Hanna Rosin, senior editor at The Atlantic, editor and founder of Slate's women's section DoubleX, and author of a new book, will do at 7 p.m. in William W. Philip Hall on the UW Tacoma campus. Rosin will explain her reasons for believing that, although men currently seem unwilling to adjust to new realities that are changing their roles in society, they "may become more flexible as the world around them continues to change." 

4. Sinatra-esque crooner Chris Anderson takes his show to the Red Wind Casino at 6:30 p.m., hitting all the notes and making the ladies swoon in the process. Anderson has repeatedly proven to offer a throwback good time.

5. The 1230 Room probably has you at "free taco bar," but you also may be interested in the downtown Olympia club's new Tuesday deep, tech and progressive house night "The Deep End." It launches tonight with drink specials, no cover and resident DJs Alex Bosi, Evan Mould and Chris Paro.

LINK: Tuesday, Oct. 15 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

Going to a sports bar usually means having some dude standing on your feet while you crane your neck and try to watch a TV because it's too loud to make any conversation. Triple Play Sports Bar on Tacoma's Sixth Avenue, on the other hand, never seems to get too crowded. Even when it is, there are three rooms - not counting the private karaoke lounge  - so it never becomes claustrophobic. Nine TVs are strategically placed, and a 10-foot projection screen blankets what was the original Hell's Kitchen's main music room.

Want to enjoy this entire splendor on the cheap?

Here's what you do: Burst through the doors like you own the place. Give bartender Jeanette Sullivan one of those cool hand shooters motions with a wink. Head to the black couch below the widescreen. When Sullivan approaches, ask her for the lunch menu then order a Long Island Iced Tea. From the couch you can watch her pour four bottles of booze in one shot. When she returns, pretend you are not shocked that all seven items on the lunch menu are $5 each. Even though you intend to order the delicious calzone with amazing dough made from 7 Seas Brewing beer, inquire about the $5 top sirloin burger, $5 grilled ham and cheese, $5 personal chef's salad, $5 turkey sandwich, two beef hot dogs for $5 and the $5 fish ‘n' chips. She's going to ask you if you'd like to add a side for $1. That's your call.

Kick back on the couch and enjoy.

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