MONDAY, DEC. 24, 2012 >>>

1. After 17 years of Stardust holiday schmaltz-fests, Harlequin Productions director Linda Whitney outsourced her holiday revue-writing to James Hindman and Ray Roderick of Miracle or 2 Productions, authors of 2003's A Christmas Survival Guide. From a critical standpoint, it's a welcome change, especially since this anthology's aimed squarely at cynical adults weary of the hustle, bustle, and rabid commercialism of 21st-century holidays. It plays to the Whitneys' principal strengths: live pop music, technical design and intelligence (in no particular order). It also introduces diminutive spitfire Amy Shephard, newly returned from grad school at Exeter, to the Harlequin stage, where she joins revue regulars Antonía Darlene and Christian Doyle. It hits the stage for a special Christmas Eve performance at 2 p.m. Read Christian Carvajal's full review of A Christmas Survival Guide in the Weekly Volcano's Arts section.

2. If you didn't get all the holiday adrenaline out of your system fighting for your life during the holiday shopping season, lace some jingle bells into your sneakers and make a run for it today at the Just For Fun, Jingle Bell Run at 1:30 p.m. in Wright Park. The 5k run or walk costs $10 to participate. Bring non-perishable food for the food bank or old running shoes for the mission. The first male/female finishers will win shoes from South Sound Running. WAIT! It's sold out! Well, go grab a coffee and listen to the bells bounce by.

3. As you know the Franciscan Polar Plaza outdoor ice skating rink in downtown Tacoma is open to those who want to travel in circles. What you might not know is it's open on Christmas Eve from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.

4. At 4 and 6 p.m. Capital Christian's presents a "Come As You Are" Christmas Eve service at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts in Downtown Olympia. This celebration of Christmas is a free, fun-filled night of music and celebration for all ages.

5. Mosquito Hawk - after half the band rocked the Scorpions last night at the Brotherhood Lounges 10^th Anniversary Bash - will join Gunslinger at 9 p.m. inside the Le Voyeur in downtown Olympia.

LINK: Monday, Dec. 24 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

The end of the world is here, and with it, apparently, our last day on this Earth. But worry not, friends. Though the end is nigh, the South Sound has a few End of the World parties to cushion ourselves against impending doom - and whatever it is the Maya predicted will consume us all.

End of The World Party

Grab all your favorite party animals, it could your very last chance to mooch a drink off your friends! And if the world really does end at midnight - all drinks are on the house! The band Accidental Heroes rock it. 9 p.m., Rock The Dock Pub & Grill, 535 Dock Street, Tacoma, Facebook

The End of the World Ball

You could be trying to aim a telescope through our ever-present cloud layer to spot the incoming meteor hoard, or you could don your finest and go out in style at the End of the World Ball. Dress can be anything from semi-formal to tuxes and ball gowns to Venetian masks. Like any good ball, this one will be in a ballroom - the Gothic Ballroom at the Landmark Event Center. There will be light refreshments and a no-host bar, as well as a toy drive for unwrapped gifts, cash or checks for Toys for Tots ... although, this seems to imply that the event hosts think we all might survive the night. 8 p.m., $35-$40, Landmark event Center, 47 St. Helens, Tacoma, website

End of the World Holiday Tap Night + Live Music

Drink beer until the world ends. End of the World beers will include End of the World Chocolate Chili Imperial Stout and a Bloody Mary Pale Ale. Los Hermanos will provide the soundtrack. 5-10 p.m., no cover, Tacoma Brewing Co.: 625 St Helens Ave., Tacoma, Facebook

It's The End of the World As We Know It

Swing Wine Bar will be celebrating everyone's death with a party featuring guitarist Vince Brown and vocalist LaVon Hardison performing an "end of the world" set, plus a last supper. 8-10 p.m., no cover, Swing Wine Bar, 825 Columbia St. SW, Olympia, Facebook

End Of The World Hip-Hop Party

End Of The World Party, hosted by Josh Rizeberg with hip-hop artists Shao Sosa, K Dueski, Z Piece, Beans & Rize, Divous, King Scrub and Blue Nose Music. 9 p.m., Stonegate Pizza, 5421 S. Tacoma Way, Tacoma, Facebook

End of the World Party at the Top of Tacoma

Come hell or high water, head to the high ground and celebrate all that is 12/21/12. The Top will have apocalyptic drink specials to take the prepper edge off: $5 Polar Shifts, $3 Fireball Shots, $4 Mind Erasers, & $6 AMF(Adios Motha F&*%^$@)! 9 p.m., Top of Tacoma Bar & Cafe, 3529 McKinley Ave., Tacoma, Facebook

House Improvement - End of the World Edition

So the world may end this today ... or it may not. But why chance it? Come out and dance like there's no tomorrow. This month Free The Funk welcomes Big Chuck with residents Chris Savenetti and DJ dAb. 9:30 p.m., The New Frontier Lounge, 301 E. 25th St., Tacoma, Facebook

2012 End Of The World Party

DJ Atom Ant will spin as a zombie costume contest goes down. 9 p.m., Lady Luck,
Lady Luck Cowgirl Up, 14114 Pacific Ave. S., Tacoma

End of the World Baby!

Magoo's Annex will offer weekly drink special pricing all day long, which means $3 micors, $2.50 wells, $2.50 margaritas and $3 cooler shots, as well as all call and top shelf liquor rolled back to 2011 prices. 3 p.m. until close, Magoo's Annex, 2710 N. 21st, Tacoma

Mayans Meet Mad Max Thunderdome Extravaganza

If you have nothing to do on your last night on Earth and no loved one to spoon with and cry then grab your bug-out bags and hunker down with the End of the World Survivors at the Dwell Hole with (and not limited to): The Fun Police, Shogun Barbie and Jip Sea Party. Expect Jim Jones Kool-Aid Specials and Heavens Gate Hale Bop Jello Shots. 7:30 p.m., $3, call 253.230.2503 for location of this house party, Facebook

Saturday

We Survived The End Of The World 5K
If you're alive, celebrate with all your running buddies. Come dressed in your best end of the world outfit, and try and beat the guy in front of you to the finish line. 9 a.m., $35, Fit4Life Parking Lot, 2943 29th Ave. SW, Tumwater, website

LINK: More live music and DJs tonight in the South Sound

THURSDAY, DEC. 20 2012 >>>

1. If you don't visit any other gallery tonight, do yourself a big favor and make sure you get to Fulcrum Gallery for the opening of the Devin Reynolds' show of new works, which focuses on nature, but not watercolors of hillsides. Reynolds produces colorful compositions of water, sky and plants through chemical reactions on canvases. His "Caustic Compositions" show distorts nature in the most interesting way. Check it out during a public reception from 7-9 p.m. The show runs through Feb. 15.

2. If the Tacoma Runners was a human entity, it could run for the Position 2 seat on the Tacoma City County. The Tacoma Runners gets things done. If you haven't heard, the Tacoma Runners will host a computer timed 5K run every Saturday beginning next year. What started as seven people running to justify post beers has turned into a giant mass of people running roughly a 3K every Thursday ... to justify post beers and to be social. Yes, the Thursday runs continue with a 6:30 p.m. jaunt launching from Cork Wine Bar. Bonus: Jingle bells are encouraged.

3. Think you've got some writer's chops on ya, do ya? Think you can take the heat? Washington State History Museum is here to give you your shot - or let you kick back and listen to other people reading, if you so choose. At 6:30 p.m., the museum will host a special holiday edition of its Writer's Open Mic.

4. The burlesque troupe Gritty City Sirens will shimmy-shake its way through Tacoma bars, singing carols and spreading holiday cheer. The troupe's Caroling Pub Crawl launches at 7 p.m. inside Puget Sound Pizza, then hits The Office Bar & Grill, The Swiss, Jazzbones, Doyle's Public House on the hour, ending the shenanigans at The Mix around Midnight. This won't be the usual burlesque eye-full (though sure to tantalize) as the Sirens intend to enliven the holiday spirit with some caroling - and all for a good cause. Every dollar donated will go to Pin-Ups Against Cancer Fund. If you purchase a raffle ticket, you'll be entered to win some cool prizes.

5. There are many options for celebrating the screeching halt of the Mayan Calendar, which several dozen people think will cause the world to end this Friday. The Java Jive Appreciation Society is tossing an End of the World Party tonight at the Java Jive. Expect beer, karaoke, free buttons and world-ending celebrating.

LINK: Thursday, Dec. 20 arts and entertainment events in the greater TAcoma and Olympia area

WINNING BIG >>>

181-35. This was the final score in the inaugural USARS Roller Derby National Championship. The contenders in the final bout were Oly Rollers vs. San Diego Starlettes. The two teams made it through to the end of an eight-team bracket, including bouts against Tacoma's Underground Derby League All-Stars.

The winner?

South Sound heroes, the Oly Rollers!

"We made history," says Ashley Culbert, aka Layla Lawdown, with pride in her voice. Lawdown (former police offer) has been skating for two years. She, along with nine other Oly Roller derby girls, made their way to Fresno, Calif., for the championship that ran Dec 14-16.

The Oly Rollers won the Seltzer Cup trophy, named in honor of the creator of the sport, Leo Seltzer. The Olympia team's name will be engraved on the trophy and displayed to the public throughout the year at the National Museum of Roller Skating in Lincoln, Neb.

Culbert explains how this championship differs from the Women's Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA), which the Oly Rollers were named national winners in 2009.

"It's faster - a higher game," says Culbert. "You have to be more athletic because of how fast and hard hitting it can be."

USARS has been around longer than WFTDA, and holds more merit in the sports community, she says.

"USARS is going to take it (derby) very far," says Culbert. "This is the first step. If we're going to the Olympics, they are going to take us there."

Culbert says there were - amazingly - no injuries, and that the OIy team skated very cohesive.

"It felt amazing," Culbert says. "It felt really good to be part of something that was truly for the skater and for the sport."

MONDAY, DEC. 17, 2012 >>>

1. Oh yes, it is winter. Instead of allowing your hostility toward cold and snow and Mother Nature build and build (a destructive practice that may surely only result in tragedy, namely the increased proliferation of strip malls and other nature-defying-structures across our fair South Sound), make your peace. Experience the beauty of nature during the colder months. Join a park ranger to learn the art of snowshoeing and discover how plants, animals, and people adapt to the challenging winter conditions at Mount Rainier. Snowshoe walks daily at 12:30 and 2:30 p.m. Warning: Call 360.569.6575 for more information, because Mother Nature is freaking out today.

2. Only eight more shopping days left ... so begins the jolliest (and undeniably the most stressful) time of the year. Especially these days, with the economy wallowing in the shitter. Santa has local gift ideas for your mom/aunt/significant other/sibling/bus driver/favorite local vagrant/bossman/whomever over on his Santa Says Blog.

3. Tired of boring old posters on your living space walls? The folks at State of the Arts Gallery in Olympia, which specializes in selling art created by Northwest and regional artists, has some interesting alternatives as part of its 21st Annual Deck The Walls & More show, which is open today from 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. - normally closed on Mondays.

4. You're sick and tired of driving through the neighborhood looking at the homes of people who think they deserve an award for their light displays. You deserve to take a night to go see ZooLights at Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium. Billed as the region's biggest walk-through light show, ZooLights includes animated light sculptures, live entertainment, snacks, animal encounters and the Paul Titus Carousel. While enjoying your stroll, be thankful you're not in charge of this holiday light display. The lights flip on at 5 p.m.

5. MLKBallet presents Mistletoes - a holiday fundraiser extravaganza featuring a cupcake and wine walk, raffles, holiday crafts, classic holiday movies and performances from MLKBallet students from 6-8 p.m. at urban Grace, 902 Market St. All proceeds from the $10 suggested donation benefit MLKBallet's tuition free dance training program.

LINK: Monday, Dec. 17 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

YAY! A 10 THINGS LIST! >>>

Franciscan Polar Plaza is a magical place set into the charming and historical backdrop of downtown Tacoma's Tollefson Plaza - the perfect way to celebrate the holidays with your family or significant other, or even a wonderful spot to meet a stranger (just think of the stories you can tell your grandchildren). You may ice skate on the indoor rink, sip a mug of hot chocolate or enjoy live music on the Weekly Volcano's music stage. Polar Plaza ensures a holiday experience for all and here are just a few of the reasons why this cold-weather attraction rocks downtown Tacoma.

1. Decorations

"We're excited to continue to have the community help decorate the benches for Polar Plaza. It seems like a small thing, but it's a fun art element that everyone who visits the rink will get the chance to use and admire." - Stephanie Stebich, director of Tacoma Art Museum

2. Family Fun

"The Polar Plaza adds yet another special and unique family destination to downtown Tacoma that creates lasting memories during the holiday season ... it is a new tradition I hope to see carried on for many years to come." - Thomas Duke, TAM Director of Membership

3. It's Magical!

"What I like most about the Franciscan Polar Plaza is the sound of children laughing as they skate around the rink. The indoor ice rink creates a magical atmosphere that appeals to both adults and children. It is a part of our community for only a few weeks but, during that time, the rink is one of the happiest places in Tacoma. The Polar Plaza brings families together to make holiday memories that may be shared for the rest of their lives." - Dianna Kielian, senior vice president - Mission for the Franciscan Health System

4. Downtown Dollars

"This will be our fourth year in the plaza and our vision is coming to fruition. The vision has been helping bring holiday dollars downtown to local businesses, while getting people walking around enjoying downtown during the holidays. The ice skating rink is serving as the perfect pinnacle to that vision." - Justin Mayfield, Two Five Trees owner

5. Romance

"I was told this story from a lady that works at Grassi's Flowers. She told me that she knows a young lady that was visiting during her winter break of college and she went ice skating at Polar Plaza. While she was skating she fell and when the attendant came to her aid, their eyes met and apparently the rest is history so to say, now they are planning their wedding!" - Judi Hyman, Downtown Merchants Group president

6. Community Fellowship

"The number one reason I think Polar Plaza is the ‘bomb' is the community fellowship it provides. It is a delight to see people laughing and interacting with each other where they may not have otherwise had the opportunity." - Sean Peterson, Igneous Rocks drummer, performing Dec. 1 at Polar Plaza

7. It Makes Tacoma Hip Like NYC

"It is Tacoma's own little holiday version of Rockefeller Plaza's famous ice rink. It makes me want a hot cup of cocoa--or maybe an adult winter beverage like Pacific Grill's famous Hot Buttered Rum." - Gordon Naccarato, Pacific Grill owner

8. Nostalgia

"I grew up in Tacoma and have fond memories of my family skating at the ice rink by Lake Steilacoom. We are so fortunate to have an organization such as the TAM that spearheads this fabulous use of Tollefson Plaza during the Holidays."  - Steve Gray, Gray Lumber - a Polar Plaza sponsor

9. See and Be Seen

"Polar Plaza is the cool place to be seen with your friends and share quality time with the family in the only south end outdoor rink." - Katie Caldwell, overseer of the people who clean the ice

10. Ironically, Might Help You Warm Up

"When it's cold outside, I feel that there's no better place to be than at Polar Plaza, serving hot chocolate and cookies to the skaters at the ice rink." - Megan Jones, hot-chocolate server and Visitor Services manager at Tacoma Art Museum

FRANCISCAN POLAR PLAZA, FRIDAY, NOV. 23-SUNDAY, JAN. 26, $4-$8, TOLLEFSON PLAZA, 17TH AND PACIFIC AVENUE, TACOMA, 253.272.4258

Walking down Capitol Way in Olympia, I noticed a new business in the preliminary hubbub of opening. Through the window I could see a woman painting while another woman ironed. The front doors were opened to a burgundy wall with the word “breathe” written across in white paint.

I poked my head in and spoke with Lisa Cosmillo, a former copy editor and real estate broker, about her new studio at 601 Capitol Way S.

“It’s all been really serendipitous,” says Cosmillo about opening her new business, “I just started dreaming and it’s all been falling into place.”

The 3,000 sq ft space is beautifully designed with warm colors and hardwood floors, and will feature a variety of classes including yoga, pilates, zumba, kid’s classes and weights. Massage, a natural foods snack bar and natural clothing line will also be on premises.

“It’s like a mini health mall,” says Cosmillo.

Breathe will celebrate a soft opening Monday, October 1 and a hard opening Friday, October 5 with snacks, yoga performances and featured artists as part of Olympia Arts Walk.

Those not born or raised in the area may wonder if Northwesterners have lost their minds.

"Cycling in this weather?" they may think.

And the answer is "Yes."

Diehard cycling fans will get out and ride in almost any weather. Mother Nature can't be controlled, but a few adjustments on the human end can make riding in the Northwest possible and enjoyable even if you get wet.

Being prepared for suddenly changing, inclement weather even when the day looks dry is the way for two-wheel success. A sunny morning can become a soggy afternoon quickly. First, get a good helmet and shoes that work for you - not equipment that slows you down. Old Town Bicycle in Tacoma and Olympia is a good bet for all your equipment needs.

Second, the acquisition of waterproof, ultra lightweight clothing is a necessity. Outdoors outfitters Wholesale Sports in Lacey and REI have outdoor fun all wrapped up. Get the gear you'll need, then love, then not be able to live without. When you find yourself wearing your new waterproof gears as your "everyday jacket" you'll know the Northwest assimilation is complete. Bonus: many hoods have stiff built-in brims so water drips away from your face.

On a serious note, it's essential to make yourself highly visible to cars by decking yourself with reflectors. Think you have enough? Go ahead and add a couple more. Once it starts to rain it's even tougher for drivers to see bicyclists.

And on the technical end, make sure your bike is in top shape; make a stop at one of four Bike Tech locations- Tacoma, Lakewood, Olympia, Puyallup. All locations offer free bike care clinics every Saturday at 10:30 a.m.

Riding with friends and fellow bike enthusiasts can make a drenching downpour something to chuckle about (later, after you've warmed). Bike Tech offers free group rides throughout the week; details can be found at www.biketech.com.

And if you're looking for companionship, cycling groups, like the Tacoma Wheelmen Bicycle Club and Capitol Bicycle Club in Olympia, offer organized and rated-for-difficulty rides, a sense of community, cycling advocacy and volunteerism.

Once you've got the basics handled, make a trip out of it. Cycling around the same area can get boring. Drive north and take a ferry to Lopez Island. The easy-to-medium hills and loop rides are suitable for beginners and even medium-age children. Terra Trek and Multi Sport Vacations offer guided bike tours and overnight stays.

Start planning your cycling getaway now. Believe it or not, sun-breaks are right around the corner.

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

1. It all goes back to history. Everything. Everything goes back to history. There is nothing but history. These words are becoming history as you read them. Even you, some day, will be history. Perhaps you will be a blip; perhaps you will be a chapter. Perhaps your name will become a buzzword, like Reaganomics or Machiavellian. Perhaps. Perhaps you will ramble with no purpose. Perhaps you will wax poetic to the point of nausea. Perhaps you will shove extra food from the buffet into your purse when no one is looking. Perhaps. Perhaps you'll enjoy history Saturday when the best comedians from years and years of the Seattle International Comedy Competitions gather on the Pantages Theater for a night of laughs at 7:30 p.m. Former Comedy Competition champions Darryl Lenox (1999) and Damonde Tschritter (2006) will anchor the night. Armchair philosopher Lenox is one of the best comics to ever come out of Vancouver. OK, he's American, but he lived 14 years in the city, reached a calm on stage and honed his act with his hilarious American take on Canada and Canadians. Although storyteller comedian, actor and writer Tschritter has been known to say he's more like the guy who hangs around your kitchen table telling stories than a stand-up comedian, he was the first Canadian to win the Seattle competition. Perhaps you should attend.

2. Dude, pain is just weakness leaving the body. It's no reason to not do anything. Shoo, weakness, shoo. Go away. It's time to skip that early morning nap and start creating some pain for yourself. That's right - five kilometers of pain. It's the Ruston Way 5K, beginning at 10 a.m. It's said to be one of the flattest, fastest 5K runs in the universe. Elite runners are signed up. But forget about the fact that it celebrates the re-opening of the new and proved Ruston Way; you can reminisce about the demolished tunnel later. Concentrate on your five kilometers of pain. Ignore the pre-run ribbon cutting with dignitaries at 9:15 a.m. Ignore the stunning views of the Puget Sound, Mt. Rainier, the Cascades and the Olympic Mountains. Pain, pain, pain. Best of all, you'll be done in time for your noon nap.

3. Traver Gallery in Tacoma is the only United States venue to host Engaging with Glass: A Survey of Contemporary Glass Art, the first comprehensive survey of Irish glass art in over a decade. The exhibition brings together a broad spectrum of work in glass, ranging from beautifully executed decorative objects to conceptual installation pieces incorporating video elements. The exhibit opens today with a reception from 5-7 p.m.

4. You totally have the opportunity to get lei'd tonight (sorry, we couldn't help ourselves). The annual University of Puget Sound's Hui O Hawai`i student club's Spring Lu'au with its exotic Polynesian food and colorful entertainment hits the campus. The festivities begin with a 5 p.m. dinner offering kalua pig, huli huli chicken, lomi lomi salmon, macaroni salad, poi, chicken long rice, haupia, pineapple and a vegan dish pineapple stir fry in the Wheelock Student Center. At 7 p.m., the crowd will head to the memorial Field House for the band Na Leo O Hawai`I and around a dozen dances from cultures including Hawaiian, Tahitian, Samoan, and Maori, as well as ritual face-painting, grass skirts, the malo (loincloth) and colorful island dresses. Aloha.

5. Beginning at 6 p.m. Hell's Kitchen will host a benefit show for Hang Huong - who was hit by a car - featuring a burlesque show, raffle prizes and the musical stylings of Unhailoed, Psychonaut Deathtrip, LB, Reptile Eruption, Devils of Louden and Phasers On Kill.

PLUS: More events listed in our Weekend Hustle

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

LINK: South Sound happy hours

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Downer Downtown: Organizer of Twilight Criterium moves Tacoma bike race to Proctor District because of streets and chilly business owners. (News Tribune)

Booze Bidders: The winning bidder or bidders of the online auction of state-run liquor stores will be announced Monday morning. (News Tribune)

Section 57 Of The British Terrorism Act In Action: Terrorism suspicions lead to three arrests at Heathrow. (The New York Times)

RIP: Levon Helm. (USA Today)

Martha Stewart: She has a new cooking show on PBS. (Grub Street)

DogTV: Man's best friend wants cable. (Time)

Fat In Foods: Seven eats with more fat than a stick of butter. (Huffington Post)

Must Watch: Golden Balls contestant wins with most ballsy move ever. (Gawker)

Squeeze This!: A cultural history of the accordion in America. (Pop Matters)