MONDAY IS A GOOD DAY TO START >>>

Monday night is typically a black hole for nightlife. Sure, if you run a sports bar, you'll do well during football season, but for most eating and drinking establishments, it's just dead, dead, dead. There's a darn good reason why so many of them are closed on Mondays. So how do those that remain open find ways to fill barstools on this, the most dreadful evening of the workweek?

Weekly Volcano theater critic Christian Carvajal offers a night-by-night round trip through Olympia's unique arts scene, including two weekly events happening on Monday. To read his feature story, click here.

FREE EVENTS IN THE SOUTH PUGET SOUND DEC. 5-11 >>>

Feeling disenchanted this holiday season? Well, there's a holiday for that. A Festivus for the Rest of Us, created by Seinfeld character Frank Costanza who thought the holidays became to be too much: too much buying, too much stress, too much glitz. Costanza's Festivus holiday included a Festivus pole, feats of strength and the ritual airing of grievances.

What other holidays take place during this time of year?

Bobble Tiki found seven local, lesser-known holidays this week, all without an admission charge.

MONDAY, DEC. 5: "Roadiem"

• Wake up a noon
• Watch Spinal Tap three times
• Drive to Ted Brown Music and discuss replacing heads and sandbagging hardware with the employees until they want to kill you
• Hit the free Percussion Ensemble concert at 7:30 p.m. inside the Schneebeck Concert Hall at the University of Puget Sound
  
• Stay up until 4 a.m. building and dismantling an Erector Set
  

TUESDAY, DEC. 6: "Pretendus"

• Admit the biggest damper on holiday cheer is your adulthood
• Banish grown-ups
• Catch the free 10:30 a.m. Caspar Babypants show at the Tacoma Public Library in downtown Tacoma
• Make a fort in your living room
• Fall asleep to Shake It Up

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 7: "Heat Miser Day"

• Sing the song, obviously
• Turn the heat dial in your car to 90
• Gather up your greener friends and head to the Joy Building on the University of Washington Tacoma campus for Ellen Moore's free 12:30 p.m. lecture titled "Feeling The Heat: How American Mainstream Media Cover Environmental Issues."
• Make fun of the people working at Baskin-Robbins
  
• Fall asleep with your electric blanket on
  

THURSDAY, DEC. 8: "Waterstock"

• Turn on the oven
• Tune in KZOK
• Cook a burrito
• Eat the burrito in front of The Dancing Lights Show, a computer-animated light show with music, featuring a 50-foot yacht decorated with more than 15,000 lights that turn on around 7 p.m. at the Olympia Yacht Club
  
• Think about dropping out, but instead play Angry Birds on your phone

FRIDAY, DEC. 9: "Mallard Day"

• Gather your entire extended family at the first annual "Duck the Halls Caroling Competition" at 6:30 p.m. at the Market Square in University Place. Bring food for the food bank.
• Put the younger generation in uncomfortable duck costumes
• Invite your Allstate agent because Aflac reduces ducks' humanity
• Eat bread pudding

SATURDAY, DEC. 10: "Brass Knocks"

• Put on your David Titterington black turtleneck sweater
• Watch every brass and organ concert on television
• When there isn't a brass and organ concert going on, talk about brass and organ concerts you saw over the last 10 years or are about to see with everyone around you
• Submit your brass and organ players to your fantasy league commissioner
• End the day with the free 7 p.m. Brass and Organ Christmas Concert at St. John's Episcopal Church in Gig Harbor
  

SUNDAY, DEC. 11: "Wonder Year Day"

• Start your day with a bowl of Quisp
• Attend the free 2 p.m. book and slide presentation by Paul J. Stein on the 1962 Seattle World's Fair inside the Tacoma Public Library in downtown Tacoma
• Ride your bike accross town then call someone on a pay phone to pick you up
  
• Don't wear a seatbelt on the ride home
  

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Santa Says Blog

FREE EVENTS IN THE SOUTH SOUND NOV. 28-DEC. 3 >>>

Oh man, Bobble Tiki loves outer space, UFOs, lizard people from the 5th Dimension walking among us and everything X-Files. Many times Bobble Tiki has hopped around the Arizona desert, searching for clues and bunkers and spacecraft wreckage and secret codes written on tablets of transparent zirconium. And look! Northwest expert James Clarkson is lecturing this week. Righteous. In his honor, Bobble Tiki presents a week of free outer-space-ISH events in happening in the South Sound.

MONDAY, NOV. 28: Every Monday DJ Melodica spins punk, post punk, New Wave and early electronica tunes during Micro Mondays at Magoo's Annex in Tacoma. Bobble Tiki can only assume Melodica will spin "space" music by Aphex Twins, Thomas Dolby, Enigma, Brian Eno, Peter Gabriel, and, of course, "Space Age Love Song." The free music begins at 8:30 p.m.

TUESDAY, NOV. 29: Once Sold Tales Bookstore Outlet in Kent allows those 18 and younger to take home free five books from 60,000 titles from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. as a way to encourage reading in the next generation. Bobble Tiki expects The Magic School Bus Lost in the Solar System, The Sky Is Full of Stars, Binky The Space Cat, Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space and Colonization Of Psychic Space: A Psychoanalytic Social Theory Of Oppression and to be among the choices.

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 30: Yes! James Clarkson, a career investigator and UFOlogist will discuss cases of unidentified flying objects in the Northwest and ideas on the nature of non-human intelligence for free at 7:30 p.m. inside the Olympia Timberland Library. Is anyone else suddenly picturing Gillian Anderson in a black dress with a white duster?

THURSDAY, DEC. 1: This might be stretching this week's theme but Bobble Tiki believes mediation is an attempt to build on your inner consciousness so that you have an enhanced awareness of both your valid existence and your rightful relationship to the infinite cosmos. At 7 p.m. inside The Nalanda Institute Dharma Center in Olympia, a free class will be held on "Contemplative Science, Dharma Practice from a Research Perspective," These teachings are based on recent collaborative research studies between Buddhist scholars/meditators and western researchers.

FRIDAY, DEC. 2: Space is the place. The Future Bass maestros of intelligent electronica descend upon the Tempest Lounge for a cover-free night so intense that mere dancing is not sufficient. DJs BROAM, Bobby Galaxy and Sound Selector E.S. present the latest and future of electronic music while immersed in a lush environment of projected video and live visuals. The spaceship takes off at 9:30 p.m.

SATURDAY, DEC. 3: As Hollywood's bottomless recycling bin continues along the dark path of rebooting, relaunching, CGI-ing and 3D-ing an entire generation of young executives' childhood memories into franchise-ready properties, Jim Henson's iconic creations have hit recently returned to the big screen with The Muppets. In celebration the Lakewood Pierce County Library will celebrate The Muppets with Muppet movies, including Muppets From Space, beginning at 1:30 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

SUNDAY, NOV. 27, 2011 >>>

1. The mere sight of Portland blues guitarist Robbie Laws on stage generates a jolt of energy, whether he's fronting a band or jamming alone on his electric guitar. Smiling, always smiling, he creates a sound that's sensual and strong, delicate and precise, technically impeccable and emotionally pure. A lot of people play blues music, but not many play it as distinctively as Laws does. Laws has been honored with 21 Portland Cascade Blues Association Muddy Awards, nine of which were for "Best Electric Guitarist." Catch him at 7 p.m. at The Spar in Old Town Tacoma.

2. Olympia's Downtown for the Holidays is a day filled with fun and entertainment, from noon to 4:30 p.m. Most activities are centered in and about Sylvester Park, which will include free horse-drawn wagon rides with Mrs. Claus, a holiday parade (3 p.m.), and a tree-lighting ceremony.

3. "Young people have such fresh ideas and so few very public venues in which to share their work," says Tacoma Poet Laureate Josie Emmons Turner. In an effort to help remedy this, Turner has set up a day for young poetry and prose writers to share their work at King's Books. The 90-minute open-mic event starts at 2 p.m., but those interested in participating in the reading should sign up starting at 1:30 p.m. Writers are encouraged to select material that showcases their best work, so be advised that you're expected to bring it.

4. The Museum of Glass exhibition of collaborative work by John Miller and a dozen or so friends is cute and well crafted. Some of the pieces - all giant goblets - are beautiful, most are inventive, and a lot of them are funny. The exhibit, Gathering: John Miller and Friends, combines traditional glass art with a wide variety of art genres such as Pop Art and Color Field painting and Surrealism. MOG is open from noon to 5 p.m.

5. Xibalba, Alpha & Omega, Cowardice and Wreck play an all-ages show at The Red Room in downtown Tacoma.

PLUS: ZooLights and Franciscan Polar Plaza in our Weekend Hustle

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings

FRIDAY, NOV. 25, 2011 >>>

1. How do you escape the pressures of the holidays, like, really quick? Bundle up, drop your packages in the trunk, pinch your cheeks until they glow and strap on a pair of silver skates, Hans Brinker, for a glide across the frozen expanse at Tollefson Plaza. The Franciscan Polar Plaza, located on the corner of Pacific Avenue and South 17th Street, opens today at 10 a.m. and runs until 10 p.m. The covered outdoor rink is about half the size of a hockey rink. It will have real ice and hold about 150 skaters at a time. Oh, if you need a tree, grab one at the neighboring Two Five Trees.

2. Jim Oliver, an amazing a still life photographer, will open the Oliver Gallery Saturday at 8443 S. 19th St. in Tacoma. But he can't help poking fun at Black Friday. He'll hold a soft opening today from noon to 6 p.m. under the title, "Black Friday Shopping Sanity Restoration Station and Pre-Opening Invitation to The Oliver Gallery." For a sneak peek, click here.

3. Although the holidays are a time for joy and light, we will spend hours trying, unsuccessfully, to string lights around the Weekly Volcano World Headquarters. Our fingers will grow raw and numbed as family members shout orders through a bullhorn.  This is Dante's second circle of Hell.  And you'll drive by the WH, point and laugh. Don't risk driving by after our third eggnog - head to ZooLights at the Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium. Billed as the Northwest's premier light display, ZooLights includes animated light sculptures as well as ice-skating puffins, a preying eagle, tiger cubs, the Narrows Bridges and the massive flame tree. It opens for the season at 5 p.m.

4. There are those among us who can make their trip to a hair stylist the most riveting story you've heard all week. People whose stories never trail off into "it was really cool. ..." Envy them. They are not like you. Not only do they have great success at parties, they have a future with the South Sound Story Guild. See what all the storytelling fuss is about at Tellabration 2011, a national storytelling event sponsored by said guild.  If you can stand a 10-minute hairdo story, just imagine how riveted you'll be by something with an actual plot.  Drop by Traditions Café at 7 p.m. and hear a story or two.

5. After spending yesterday with the family, you could use a laugh. Thankfully, Tacoma has several comedy clubs. Brad Upton will be at the Tacoma Comedy Club Tacoma at 8 and 10:30 pm., Duane Goad hits the Comedy Underground at 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. and Ty Barnett plays the Grit City Comedy Club at 8:30 and 10:30 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music tonight

LINK: This week's freebies

LOCAL LECTURE >>>

I was introduced to rock climbing in the mid-'80s. David Lee Roth was singing and swinging from a rock during one of his lame MTV videos. I had the hair; all I needed was the skills. However, TV sports broadcasts portrayed climbers as unbalanced rock-hermits who feasted on vertigo. As an impressionable youth, I received the message: Just say no to rock climbing.

But I said yes, and by the mid-'90s, I was swinging, but not singing.

Having rock climbed many times, I must pass on a bit of wisdom: Don't climb unless you're willing to accept the risks. Rock climbing involves inherent risks, risks that define the sport's character. Remove these attributes, and you're left with a staircase. If you crater (fall to the ground), you'll be fodder for the naysayers who thrive on heralding this sport as the pastime of lunatics. Be smart: Seek professional instruction, exercise good judgment and know when to back down - the rock will be there another day.

Once you mastered the skills, you need to know where to climb.

Fred Beckey knows. He's climbed the hell out of the Cascade Range Wilderness. He wrote about his adventures in such books as Mountains of North America, The Range of Glaciers: Exploration and Survey of the North Cascades and a personal narrative titled Challenge of the North Cascades.

Beckey will speak Friday night at the Kilworth Memorial Chapel on the northern end of the University of Puget Sound campus. Yes, it was originally scheduled to take place at the Tacoma Mountaineers Club. Folks went nuts for the tickets, so it's been moved to a large venue.

Tickets are $5, available through Brown Paper Tickets.

[Kilworth Memorial Chapel, Friday, Nov. 18, 7 p.m., $5, North 18^th and North Warner, Tacoma, 253.566.6965]

LINK: Bouldering basics

THIS WEEK'S FREEBIES NOV. 14-20 >>>

Contrary to popular perception, writing is actual work. No matter the frivolity of the piece, even if it be a mere Freeloaders column, you can rest assured true blood, sweat and beers were spilled during its composition. Perhaps not as much blood, sweat, etc, in a Freeloaders column, as say in a novel, or a poem, or an essay, or a radio jingle, but. ... This is not the point. The point is that now it's time for you to meet the men and women behind the magic, and learn about the craft. The following are FREE opportunities to learn about the craft, discuss it or actually participate in it.

MONDAY, NOV. 14: New to the graphic novel game? An old pro? It really doesn't matter - Tacoma's Graphic Novel Book Club, which meets on the second Monday of every Month at 1022 South, has something for everyone. And guess what!?! It's the second Monday of the month! The GNBC dives into Y The Last Man: Book One by Brian K. Vaughan, Pia Guerra and José Marzán, Jr., the gripping saga of Yorick Brown, an unemployed and unmotivated slacker who discovers that he is the only male left in the world after a plague of unknown origin instantly kills every mammal with a Y chromosome. Y, this club is perfect for U.

TUESDAY, NOV. 15: The queer Banned Book Club meets at 7 p.m. to discuss banned books, why the books are banned and specifically, the club's November read, Rainbow Boys by Alex Sanchez over cocktails inside the Tempest Lounge. The book follows the lives of three gay high school seniors, each with their own struggles. The story addresses very real, and very serious issues that many gay teens face: suicide, friendship, coming to terms with one's own sexuality, coming out, HIV, family, and homophobia.

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 16: While it takes some English professors an entire semester to analyze one Robert Frost poem, Doug and Anne Hoppper will cover Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice in about 90 minutes. What Bobble Tiki calls Cliff's Notes for Christians, First Presbyterian Church's "Great Truths from Great Books" explores the spiritual meaning of some of the world's greatest books. This week, it's all about mercy, intolerance, and revenge in the South Chapel at 7 p.m.

THURSDAY, NOV. 17: Tacoma's Poet Laureate Josie Turner summoned Tacoma poets to converge on the Proctor Art Gallery and go dactyl, enjambment and free verse on what they saw. The poetry is on display by the art that inspired it in what the gallery calls "Poetry in Response to Art." It runs through Nov. 3, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday-Saturday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday.

FRIDAY, NOV. 18: At midnight on Nov. 1, 250,000 people around the world set out to become novelists in a month with NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). The Yelm Timberland Library, an official NaNoWriMo participant site, will provide support, hosting a 7 p.m. to midnight write-in. Refreshments and additional support will be provided. Go NaNoWriMo!

SATURDAY, NOV. 19: Writing good nonfiction isn't something that comes naturally to everyone. Maybe there's help: the Pacific Northwest chapter of the National Writers Union, UAW Local 1981 meets at 11 a.m. inside King's Books. Both members and non-members are welcome to attend. Writers are invited to bring two pages of double-spaced copy to read, or you can listen and be part of the critique process.  Nonfiction writers of history, politics, economics, biography or family history are especially encouraged to attend, but those who write about kittens are welcome. Bill Johnston says you better pre-register with him, or else he'll write something about you.

SUNDAY, NOV. 20: While major publishing houses are suffering sliding scales and have axed jobs, e-books have been a perennial Next Big Thing - except to authors without name recognition or comfy advances. But you don't care. You just want to know how to work the damn thing. The Summit Pierce County Library will offer a free 1:30 p.m. class on how to operate e-readers and other devices compatible with Pierce County Library's e-book resources and download and install the software needed to get started.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Free Tacoma restaurant app

FRIDAY, NOV. 11, 2011 >>>

1. With an ambitious 10-day lineup spanning the ages of cinema, the Olympia Film Festival literally is something for everyone - of any age. OFF kicks off tonight at 6 p.m. with hors d'oeuvres served by ladies of TUSH! Burlesque, the stage fantastic of Saul Tannenbaum and Mona Van Horne, sparkly dancers and the 1933 film, Gold Diggers of 1933. The Weekly Volcano previews OFF here.

2. We all know Elmo. Even if you don't have kids, will never have kids, in fact hate kids and everything about them, and have never even been a kid yourself, you know who Elmo is ... or at least you think you do. Elmo, of course, is the hug-giving, furry little red dude from Sesame Street - a staple of the last 25 years. In real life, however, Elmo is puppeteer Kevin Clash, who created the character we've come to know and love and has portrayed Elmo on TV since 1985. The award-winning documentary Being Elmo: A Puppeteers Journey opens today at The Grand Cinema at 11:45 a.m., 1:40 and 6:20 p.m., allowing the old and young alike a chance to meet the man behind the puppet. 

3. Investigative journalist David Barsamian will discuss "Uprisings: From Kashmir to Egypt to Wall Street" at 7:30 p.m. inside the Washington State Labor Council office in downtown Olympia.

4. The fifth Jacobsen Series classical concert hits Schneebeck Concert Hall at 7:30 p.m. with Masterworks for String Quartet. Under the masterful hands of violinist Maria Sampen, violinist Tim Christie, violist Joyce A. Ramée and cellist David Requiro, the audience will hear Ludwig van Beethoven's String Quartet No. 5, Opus 18, Aaron Copland's Two Pieces for String Quartet and Johannes Brahms' String Quartet No. 1 in c minor, Opus 51.

5. The Angels of Mayhem present the Murder Masquerade Ball featuring with Sad Face, The Hardcount, Cityfaire, Angels Of Mayhem Burlesque, DJ Traxx, DJ Berry and Magician Cary Durgin hits Stonegate Pizza at 9 p.m. The party benefits the independent short horror film, The Resolution.

PLUS: The ICONIC performance and new Warren Miller flick in our Weekend Hustle

PLUS: Veterans Day events

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music tonight

TUESDAY, NOV. 8, 2011 >>>

1. Looking forward to the day when the Twilight franchise is pushing up daisies? Then skip past this one. However, if you love the mopey bestselling saga of sparkly vampires, shirtless werewolves and a cloyingly vapid heroine who makes Carrie Bradshaw seem generous and self-aware, then you are probably knee deep in Twilight Saga Tuesdays at the Regal Lakewood Stadium 15. NCM Fathom and Summit Entertainment are in the midst of screening the first three Twilight flicks, every Tuesday, until Breaking Dawn breaks Nov. 18. Tonight at 7:30 p.m., New Moon is in the house. The event will begin with exclusive introductions from the cast members, interviews with the stars and clips from the many fan fests over the years. The Twilight Saga: New Moon will immediately follow the behind-the-scenes content. (We removed our shirts to write this blurb, because everything in New Moon seems better when it happens without shirts.)

2. The Tacoma Art Place opens its doors for Cat Grey's Tuesday "Die Jack Die" post-Halloween pumpkin carving workshop from 3-8 p.m. Bring your leftover candy and pumpkins.

3. Hell's Kitchen hosts Tumbledown, Love Songs From The Hated, Phasers On Kill and Looking For Lizards to rock its Tightwad Tuesday night, where tacos, beers and wells are $2 each.

4. Whether you are a through-hiker, a section hiker, a day hiker or an arm chair hiker, the Master of Environmental Studies program at The Evergreen State College invites you to share an evening of laughter, reflection and celebration of the Pacific Crest Trail from 7-8 p.m. at the LOTT Board Room.  The guest speaker is Rees Hughes, co-editor of a new two-volume anthology called Pacific Crest Trailside Reader: Adventure, History and Legend on the Long-Distance Trail. Hughes will provide a brief overview presentation on the Pacific Crest Trail followed by a reading of a selection of stories from the anthology. 

5. Classical Tuesdays in Old Town: The Manette Trio will perform Beethoven, Mozart, Kodaly and Dohnanyi as part of Classical Tuesdays inside the Slavonian Hall in Old Town Tacoma.

LINK: Best freebies this week

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music tonight in the South Sound

MONDAY, NOV. 7, 2011 >>>

1. In 1984, author and illustrator Chris Van Allsburg brought 14 drawings, so the story goes, to a children's book publisher by a man named Harris Burdick, along with titles and captions. Burdick promised to return the next morning with the stories to go along with the drawings ... but he never did. The pictures were published in Mysteries of Harris Burdick, "in the hope that ... children will be inspired by them" to write their own stories. As it turns out, 14 great authors were also inspired by the illustrations. The collections have been released in Allsburg's book, The Chronicles of Harris Burdick. Allsburg will visit the Tacoma Public Library Main Branch at 7 p.m. to discuss and sign the book.

2. Swanky bars and restaurants can be intimidating. You know, the hostess in a pantsuit, the expensive looking votives, the dim lighting. Oh God, the price tag. But sometimes you get all the swank without all the intimidation. Indochine Asian Dining Lounge in downtown Tacoma is certainly known for its swank. Luckily, they offer a 4-10 p.m. happy hour Monday through Thursday that has "big beers" priced at $4.75. Big beers. Down a couple of those bad boys and the pyramid bar with the excruciatingly expensive top shelf loses some of its scare. Not all, but some.

3. Tacoma playwright C. Rosalind Bell presents a free, 7 p.m. staged reading of her screenplay about blues guitar legend Robert Johnson at the Toy Boat Theatre in Tacoma's Hilltop neighborhood. This is a rare opportunity to hear a diverse company of 12 professional and community actors read this rich, textured and cinematic treatment about the too short life of Robert Johnson, the archetype bluesman. The man who, legend has it, got his extraordinary guitar skills by bartering with the devil and who lost his life - at age 27 - by being poisoned by the husband of a woman he was wooing.

4. Marty Essen, author of Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents, will present a high-energy, seven-continent, digital slide show of his awesome adventures at 7:30 p.m. inside Kilworth Memorial Chapel on the University of Puget Sound campus. His show, titled "Around the World in 90 minutes," will feature stories and the best of thousands of photographs he took while traveling the world for his book. Questions will be taken at the end of the presentation.

5. The Pat Moss Blues Band will hit the stage at The Swiss around 8 p.m.

LINK: This week's freebie events

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Happy hours!