The Dockyard Derby Dames will hang out at Doyle's Public House Saturday to help tap the Oktoberfest  kegs.  The girls will be on wheels with raffle tickets and sharp elbows.

They are gearing up for their Bout 3 Sept. 29 at the Tacoma Soccer Center.  See below. â€" Suzy Stump

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Arrogate \AIR-uh-gayt\, transitive verb:
1. To claim or seize without right or justification; to appropriate.
2. To claim on behalf of another; to ascribe.

USAGE EXAMPLE: With guns drawn, and stupidity abounding, O.J. Simpson and some dudes he met at a “cocktail party” burst into the Las Vegas hotel room, set to arrogate the sports memorabilia Simpson claimed was his. Shortly thereafter, the Juice was arrested. Before attempting to arrogate his “belongings,” perhaps Simpson should have tried to arrogate a little common sense.

Stupid, OJ.

THE MORNING NEWS

BURMA: Not monking around.

CHINA: Shanghai surprise.

BEES: Balling to death.

HONG KONG: Forehead grew.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: If ever there was a day of the week meant for $1 PBRs, it’s Wednesdays. Getting drunk for cheap in the middle of the week is pretty much the only thing that gets Bobble Tiki through to the weekend. Luckily, Hell’s Kitchen realizes this. Every Wednesday score $1 PBRs, and this week catch Six Pack Remedy â€" a new-to-the-Tacoma-scene punk band with an affinity for the finer things in life â€" mainly beer and power chords.   

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE ARTS: Plan your fall season.

DISH: Where do you want to eat tonight?

FILM: The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.

Please be Bobble Tiki’s friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

Improvisation isn’t always pretty. A guitar solo, a drum solo or a fire-and-brimstone vocal delivery can be captivating one moment, incomprehensible the next.

During the Battle of the Air Bands Saturday, Sept. 22 at Cans in downtown Tacoma band members will ride the improv roller coaster before judges and the crowd. 

The prize?  Five hundred dollars.

What will it take to win?

Two things.

“Whatever you're playing â€" feel it and sell it to the crowd,” offers Kim Archer of the Kim Archer Band.

Second, you need to enter your air band.  To enter, e-mail the club here.  Bands can’t exceed five members and will be judged on appearance, synchronization and showmanship.

For more information on Cans, visit their Web site.  â€" Brad Allen

Dear Joeseppi’s Italian Margarita,

First, let me tell you that I’m a huge fan of yours. I love your Amaretto floater. And that splash of lime of yours adds freshness. As my friend, your pint glass container always seem to be there when needed â€" the perfect post-work cocktail, a warmer on a rainy Sunday afternoon, and you’re even around to help me through family gatherings. However, lately I’ve been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. You give me excess hope while watching Mariners’ games in Joeseppi’s bar. I love the flat screen, the fireplace, and server Tom is extremely professional. However, when I sip you I believe in the Mariners, and I think that’s wrong.

2. Now you know I love Joeseppi’s Italian grub, but why do you suggest that I eat the bread with that seasoned butter, plus a Chop Chop salad, an entire five-layer lasagna dish, tiramisu and a sandwich to go from the deli. I’m a big eater, but I think you always take me too far.

3. Unless you’re subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more balance work, I see no need to hammer the issue home by causing me to knock owner Joe Stortini’s baseball memorabilia off the wall. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to sign my credit card receipt.

In closing, Italian Margarita, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. However, in order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully tell me no after three. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 4 p.m. on your possible solutions and hopefully we can continue this sweet and sour partnership.

Your biggest fan,
Brad Allen

[Joeseppi’s Italian Ristorante, 2207 N. Pearl St., Tacoma, 253.761.5555]

You want freebies?

Third Thursday Art Walk consumes downtown Tacoma Thursday, Sept. 20, 5-8 p.m. It allows art enthusiasts into the museums free and serves up some fancy new treats like the brand spanking new Helm Gallery, which looks to be bringing an intriguing blend of avant-garde and accessibility to the art scene.

Walk through the standard venues and see some new sights Thursday, like the new works at the Sanford & Son Middle Floor Gallery by familiar names James Hume and www.myspace.com/jeff_olson">Jeff Olsen, who’ll be on hand from 5 to 9 p.m. for an artists’ reception.

Embracing the change of season, Gallery Madera will present "Change," featuring works by Karen Luke Fildes and Rae Belkin, as well as sculptural wood turnings by Milo Mirabelli and Christi Mirabelli. Tacoma singer-songwriter Mary Win will be on hand with musical entertainment during the artists’ reception there from 5 to 8 p.m.

Also opening Thursday, Tacoma Public Library’s Handforth Gallery will bring a new exhibition pairing Joni Joachims with Katie Carnell. While Joachims’ work features unnoticed T-Town, Carnell’s features an intriguing format â€" seven inches by 10 feet â€" telling stories about Irish immigrants fleeing famine. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

How will you adorn yourself this fall?

While the coming season's key fashion statements seem buried under a heap of end-of-summer sale merchandise, there's a sense of anticipation in the air along with that nearly imperceptible nip.

Get a head start Sunday night when The Monsoon Room hosts its Fall Equinox Getdown, and judging from its last equinox party, people turn out looking their best.

The party will kick off Sunday night at 8 p.m. with the Afro-Cuban combo Little Boat performing live while guests sip on the Monsoon Room’s new fangled drink concoctions, nibble on snacks and check out the folks sashaying through the hip joint.

DJ d:fi will fill the gaps with drum ‘n’ bass grooves. â€" Suzy Stump

When the Weekly Volcano heard about the air band competition at Cans this Saturday it so had our name on it. After all, we know a little something about rocking out, and as our weekly masthead attests â€" “We have solid dance moves, too.” If the Weekly Volcano formed an air band we would win hands down. It wouldn’t even be fair to the other competitors. So instead of receiving jealous stares and hate mail for the next three weeks, we decided to step aside. Instead, we give way for the PR Biddy for the City, Roxanne Murphy, to be one of the three judges for the competition Saturday, Sept. 22 at Cans. The other two celebrity judges are a tightly held secret.

We also asked local guitarist Matt Coughlin for his opinion on a winning air guitar style for Saturday's competition.

"A good stance is very important," explains Coughlin. "You don't want to be off kilter when you rock those windmills or go thrashing around on a solo. So get your feet wide and keep your knees loose."

Nice. â€" Angela Jossy

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Soi-disant \swah-dee-ZAHN\, adjective:

Self-styled; so-called.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Bobble Tiki is something of a soi-disant cable television guru. Whether it's Court TV, A&E, BET, ESPN, the History Channel, or MTV â€" there's a good chance Bobble Tiki has seen it. It might be pathetic, but it's all Bobble Tiki has sometimes.

THE MORNING NEWS

DOLLAR: We suck in Europe.

BIN LADEN: Hater.

BERLIN: Is that a sausage in your sausage or ...?

SYDNEY: What the hell?

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: On Friday, Splendid Vengeance will get their hairspray and self importance on at Hell's Kitchen.  If you're anything like Bobble Tiki, you were big in the '80s.  Huge, in fact. Well, Teddy Vengeance was too â€" and his hair still is.  Unabashedly glam-rock and unashamed of their own ridiculousness, Splendid Vengeance is a baffling phenomenon.  Why does Tacoma love them so?  Who knows and who cares.  Splendid Vengeance is a sock-in-the-spandex good time.  Bottom line.

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE ARTS: Plan your week.

DISH: Where do you want to eat tonight?

FILM: “Eastern Promises” and “In The Valley of Elah” kick ass

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Bobble Tiki gets it. Bobble Tiki knows that making fun of old performers is funny. And Bobble Tiki knows that Leon Russell fits the bill.

But reducing Russell’s stop in Tacoma this week to merely an occasion for AARP cracks isn’t fair to anyone. It certainly doesn’t do justice to the career of such an accomplished American musician.

Please be Bobble Tiki’s friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

Imagine the godlike pronouncement of the movie trailer-voiceover guy declaring the latest Hollywood blockbuster â€" “directed acclaimed filmmaker Bryan Johnson.”

It could happen.  Director Bryan Johnson won the hearts of Tacoma at the 72 Hour Film Festival capturing the Audience Award for the film, "South 5."

And he's back with the sequel, "South 5 â€" True Grit," which anchors the opening night of the 2nd Annual Tacoma Film Festival, Thursday, Oct. 4 at The Grand Cinema.

The Weekly Volcano threw a few questions at Johnson regarding his new flick.

WEEKLY VOLCANO:  So if you were going to pitch "True Grit's" basic premise in terms that a novice would understand, how would you put it?

BRYAN JOHNSON: It's hard to pitch a 5 minute movie without revealing too many plot twists... but basically, the secret team of trained and dangerous Seattleites is back (see the first "South 5" on YouTube), and this time they're striking at the heart of Tacoma. 

VOLCANO:  Did you find the sequel easier or more difficult to produce?

JOHNSON: People were more willing to help us out this time.  You will see a few great locations, and a cameo from some famous Tacomans.  But the real challenge was scheduling.  I have two kids under 4, and all the actors are busy dads too (except the masked boy and the gorilla). 

When we made the first movie for the Grand Cinema's 72-Hour Film Competition, my wife said, "I'll take the kids, you go have fun making a movie with your friends."  This time it was more like, "You're doing it again?!  Well, don't miss any diaper changes."  We finished over a couple of weeks, but if you added up the time spent it might have been 71 1/2 hours.

VOLCANO:  What's the best-case scenario for the future of the "South 5" franchise?

JOHNSON: This movie is the final installment â€" there will be no more.  You'll see at the end, it's like when Indiana Jones rode off into the sunset in part 3, and you just knew it was the last time you would see him. 

As far as the legacy, I hope our films spur other filmmakers to not just film IN Tacoma, but ABOUT Tacoma.  There is definitely an audience here that wants that.

VOLCANO:  Aside from your own, what was the best film you saw this year?

JOHNSON: I know everyone says "Superbad," but I'm going with my "Three Amigos" DVD.

For more information on the Tacoma Film Festival, check it here. â€" Suzy Stump

This week's films in South Sound Theaters

"Good Luck Chuck"

"Eastern Promises"

"In The Valley of Elah"

Check out the Movie Clock for show times and more reviews.

The Weekly Volcano would like to congratulate its fellow Tacoma Arts Commission 2007 AMOCAT Arts Award winners Victory Music and Beautiful Angle.

The Nov. 2 awards ceremony at the Museum of Glass will be off the hook. â€" Suzy Stump