THE HOLIDAYS
Gingerbread a Go-Go
Admit it: the biggest damper on holiday cheer is your adulthood. Whether it’s because of the intellectual elitism that makes cynicism a virtue or a beleaguered if-you-only-knew-what-I’ve-been-through fatigue, your adult self cannot turn on glee the way your child self used to. Banish the grown-up. Admit you like the blinking lights or the sight of blue-and-silver boxes or eggnog or Charlie Brown specials. Better yet, throw on your elf hat and head down to the Gingerbread Jamboree at the Hotel Murano. The Children’s Museum of Tacoma provides everything you need to create a unique gingerbread house. â€" Suzy Stump

[Hotel Murano, Sunday, Nov. 25, and Sunday, Dec. 2 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., and 1:30-4 p.m., $35, 1320 Broadway, Tacoma, 253. 627.6031]

HOLIDAYS: Jump into the season today.

JAZZ
The Steve Alboucq Quartet
When I first saw Michael Powers listed as bass player in the Steve Alboucq Quartet for Sunday’s performance in Olympia, I thought, “It must be a different Michael Powers.” But no, Alboucq is that good that the great jazz guitar virtuoso would shift to bass to play in his band.
Alboucq is a schooled jazz trumpeter coming into his own. While he is classically trained, he is also well versed in jazz, pop, and Latin music styles. His versatility is why performers such as the Temptations, the Four Tops and Gladys Knight have utilized Alboucq’s talent. He has also been a welcome guest at the regional level, performing with such as Jazz Police, Orquestra Nueva Era and Soul Provider.

Consisting of Chris Morton (piano), Matt Page (drums) and Nate Parker (bass), his own band is nothing to sneeze at. If you’re looking for the high note energy of Maynard Ferguson, move on. Alboucq and company play a low-fi style of jazz that is cool as a cucumber and smooth a silk. Think Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue period meets Oscar Peterson. With plenty of room for improvisation, their music is always fresh. â€" Tony Engelhart

[Dockside Bistro & Wine Bar, Sunday, 6-9 p.m., no cover, 501 Columbia St. N., Olympia, 360.956.1928]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

Welcome to Dinner with DeRosa. 

Pappi Swarner has let me out of my cage to make new friends.  On Saturday nights I’m allowed to have a select few Tacomans over for dinner.  Sometimes I get to seat six people, eight people, or possibly more.  This all depends on how well I behave.  Now, you all understand that said “Dinner” lays only in my imagination.  Granted the people I feature at my dinner table are all real, with heartbeats and all, be aware that the actual feast is all just a dream (sigh).

My first Dinner with DeRosa was slightly introduced in this week’s Toilet Tales, which posts every Tuesday.  This week I have a new slew of friends.  My first two dinner guests are Angie and Rob DeRosa.  I know, I know, it’s not fair.  I knew them already, and obviously they are my relatives.  I HAD to invite them though.  You see, Angie is 7.5 months preggers and is eating for two.  Also, they both just finished remodeling their house.  Well, at least we all thought they were finished remodeling. You’ve probably seen the house go double the size on the corner of  Eighth and Prospect.   It’s been about two years and the hammers are still flying.  It’s about time they were whisked away to a somewhat peaceful meal.

My next two guests are Jim Higgins and Neal Woodall of Puget Sound Pizza.  I figure I’d take a break from cooking and have Jim, owner of PSP, make me a couple (or seven) Hipster Pizzas.  Plus he’d bring an added bonus of his charming smile to the table.  He’s a ball full of positive energy and I love it.  I could look into those eyes all day.  While he cooked for me, of course.

My final two victims this week are Abby Cook and her father.  Abby wants a Poodle puppy for Christmas and she wants to name it Melissa.  When I asked her why the name Melissa, she simply answered “Because it starts with an ‘M.’”   Oooookay.  And I eat Double Fudge Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookies because the walnuts give me protein.  We all have our reasons for why we do things.  Don’t judge.

I met them at a Christmas tree farm on Friday.  It was a fierce competition to find the best tree.  It was with saws in hand that I just knew I had to have this family join my dinner party.  The looks on their faces, the joy in their beady little tree-grubbing eyes. I WILL be their Grouch that stole Christmas.  Bwahahahahaha!   Or their oddly rhyming Dr. Suess.  But whatever.

Want to join me for a Dinner with DeRosa?  Contact me and I’ll have my people get with your people.

Mangiamo! â€" Steph DeRosa

ZooLights at Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium is as much of a holiday tradition as the choking down an eggnog latte that contains never real egg or real nog. It just seems something everyone with children has to do this time of year.

Well, now that the holiday light display turns 20 this year, I was expecting to be wowed tonight. I was not wowed. I was remotely impressed.

There were few visitors along the trails and visible dark patches where light displays would otherwise go when I went earlier tonight. The grand display in the center of the zoo had a tennis-court sized grassy patch with not so much as a sparkler to be found. It was just odd.

The show might boast seven miles of extension cord and 27 miles of lights totaling 525,000 bulbs, but I have gone every year on record and this was the first year I was left wanting more.

Zoolights runs from 5 to 9 p.m. through Jan. 1, except for Nov. 26, 27, 28, Dec. 3,4,5 and 24. Tickets are $5. Visit the Zoo’s Web site for more information. â€" Steve Dunkelberger

The grand overview shows a bald spot along the right side where lights should go.

The Johnsons of University Place find themselves signs instead of looking at an empty field where lights should have been.

Sharks and kids chat about the lack of lights

Kathryn Dunkelberger and Arden Johnson remain chipper after an ordeal of Zoolights without lots of lights.

FILM
"No Country for Old Men"
Regards a completely evil man with wonderment, as if astonished that that such a merciless creature could exist. He is Anton Chigurh (Javiar Bardem), who travels Texas and kills people with a cattle stun-gun. He is one strand in a plot involving a drug deal gone bad. Another is a sheriff (Tommy Lee Jones) and a third is a hunter (Josh Brolin), a poor man who comes across $2 million in drug money. A masterpiece based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy, written, directed and edited by Joel and Ethan Coen. As good as their “Fargo,” which is saying something. Full review here. Rated R. Four Stars. â€" Roger Ebert

[The Grand Cinema, 4:05, 6:45, 9:20, $4.50-$8, 606 Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.593.4474]

MORE FILM: On local screens today.

BLUES
Paul Green and Straight Shot
Green plays the blues the way they’re meant to be played; shuffles in G and slow burning blues without the designer makeover. Along with Al Kaatz (guitar), Howard Hooper (bass) and Les Merrihew (drums), Straight Shot grooves their way through standards and originals with style and grace. As a harp player, Green is one of the best in the state, and as a vocalist is as hip as the Pink Panther.â€" Tony Engelhart

[Swiss Pub, 8 p.m., no cover, 1904 Jefferson Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2821]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

While he’s no Dewey Finn, author and activist Derrick Jensen will join the Portland School of Rock band Friday, Nov. 30 as a fund-raiser for the School of Rock scholarship fund. I love kids as much as the next tiki, but truth be told, I was a little nonplussed when I discovered this event. I'm a busy tiki. Bobble Tiki has "work" to do. He doesn’t have time for kid bands.

Bobble Tiki’s knee-jerk reaction exemplifies exactly what's wrong with the music industry today. From the media that covers it to the artists who make it, music's become a j-o-b. It's not fun â€" and that's a problem. To paraphrase Bob Dylan, music's really all about three chords and the truth. That's what Bobble Tiki will scream at the kids Friday â€" once he pulls his head out of his wooden ass.

It’s only $5. Totally worth it to see 15 kids play Rage Against the Machine. If they perform “Bulls on Parade” Bobble Tiki will yank out his checkbook. â€" Bobble Tiki

[Evergreen State College, Friday, Nov. 30, 7:30 p.m., $5, 2700 Evergreen Pkwy. N.W., Olympia, 360.867.6000]

Hawthorne Heights canceled their Dec. 19 show at The Showbox.  Not a surprise with the news this afternoon of Casey Calvert’s death.

The band has issued the following statement:

“Today is probably the worst day ever. It's with our deepest regrets that we have to write this. Casey Calvert passed away in his sleep last night.  We found out this afternoon before sound-check. We've spent the entire day trying to come to grips with this and figure out as much as possible. At this time we're not sure what exactly happened. Just last night he was joking around with everyone before he went to bed. We can say with absolute certainty that he was not doing anything illegal. Please, out of respect to Casey and his family, don't contribute or succumb to any gossip you may hear. We don't want his memory to be tainted in the least. 

Casey was our best friend. He was quirky and awesome and there will truly be no others like him! His loss is unexplainable. As soon as we know more we will let you know. 

Sincerely 
Hawthorne Heights 
Eron, JT, Micah and Matt”

Ticket refunds will be issued at point of purchase.

Thank God there are only a few more days until the Victorian Country Christmas; I've had it with my girlfriend’s reminders. If guys are forced to watch the Red Hat Day fashion show on Friday, and sit through the Stardust Follies, the show organizers could at least provide a few amenities. The League of Liberal Libations official recommendation is a keg every 15 feet, just to keep up morale. And if alcohol is deemed too negative an influence on children, how about the strolling carolers dressed a little more like Victoria's Secret models?

Fat chance, I know.  Except, there is hope.

A Victorian Country Christmas announced a new feature this year. Their Winter Wine Garden is stocked with Washington state wines. Yes, it’s decorated Victorian-like.  And they’ll be pushing the wine gifts.  But when Bluetooth Guy rushes toward the holiday lights display yelling into the ridiculous thing on his ear about some new outdoor decoration â€" at least I’ll haver a place to hide. â€" Brad Allen 

FILM
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ethan Hawke play brothers who conspire on a “victimless crime” with dire consequences, in one of the year’s best thrillers â€" and films.  It co-stars Marisa Tomei, Amy Ryan, Rosemary Harris.  Rated R. Four stars â€" Roger Ebert

[The Grand Cinema, 9 p.m., 606 Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.593.4474]

FILM
No Country for Old Men
Regards a completely evil man with wonderment, as if astonished that that such a merciless creature could exist. He is Anton Chigurh (Javiar Bardem), who travels Texas and kills people with a cattle stun-gun. He is one strand in a plot involving a drug deal gone bad. Another is a sheriff (Tommy Lee Jones) and a third is a hunter (Josh Brolin), a poor man who comes across $2 million in drug money. A masterpiece based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy, written, directed and edited by Joel and Ethan Coen. As good as their “Fargo,” which is saying something. Full review here. Rated R. Four Stars. â€" RE

[The Grand Cinema, 4:05, 6:45, 9:20]

MORE FILM: Playing on local screens.

JAM
Billy Farmer
A gifted guitar player, Farmer plays acoustic with a folk style, electric in a Chicago blues stomp style and knows his way around the Delta, too.  His arsenal of strings includes a reliable 12 string, Dobro, mandolin and banjo. When he needs a little oomph, Farmer plugs in his Les Paul or Stratocaster. Farmer is a master of mimicry and can imitate everyone from Jagger to Cash.  Farmer leads the Tacos & Jams Open Mic tonight. â€" Tony Engelhart

[O’Callahan’s, 7:30 p.m., no cover, 15610 92nd St., KPN Key Center, 253.884.9766]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Turgid \TUR-jid\, adjective:

1. Swollen, bloated, puffed up; as, "a turgid limb."
2. Swelling in style or language; bombastic, pompous; as, "a turgid style of speaking."

USAGE EXAMPLE: On Monday, doctors at George Washington University Hospital administered an electric shock to Vice President Dick Cheney’s heart, restoring a regular heartbeat. The turgid Vice President’s turgid heart had been beating irregularly. Upon returning home after the procedure, Mr. Cheney was heard to turgidly say, “I’m the devil and I’ll never die.”

THE MORNING NEWS

TACOMA: Retired police officer pleads guilty.

PARIS: Youth riots.

LONDON: Tube snake.

HELSINKI: Scab elves.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: According to the music listing in the Weekly Volcano Monotonix, a progressive garage band from Israel, will be playing Le Voyeur tonight. However, according to their MySpace site, the band will be playing in Vancouver (Nova Scotia?) on Tuesday, and won’t make Olympia until Wednesday, for a show with Old Time Relijun and Angelo Spencer at “Battle Street House.”

Things change.  Listings become updated.

Bobble Tiki isn’t sure what to make of all this, but it seems certain Monotonix will be stopping in Olympia Wednesday night. Bobble Tiki isn’t huge into Israeli garage rock, but from the look and sound of things Monotonix should deliver an entertaining show. 

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

Man oh man, we had such a great time at our last Tacoma Beer Society meeting. I think everyone was in high spirits not only because they were in my superb presence, but because it was the day before Thanksgiving. If you missed the last meeting, we at the TBS rented out the top floor of Engine House No. 9. It was so cool. I had never been up there before.

Our server, Sunshine, informed us that the top floor was haunted. This only made me want to explore it more. I illegally ventured into the back storage areas, with my friends in tow claiming how crazy I was, as usual. When I finally had to spank my twank, I found the unfathomable glory of the upstairs E9 bathrooms. I felt like a church choir should start belting out Halleluiah as I opened the door. There it was, an immaculate impression painted on the inside lid of this old wooden toilet. Beauty at its best.

Crazy? They think I'm crazy. My husband's boss, amongst others, suggested I write under a pseudonym. This was what I believe to be a sign of fear. They know what I've done, and they know the stories I can tell. I say pish-posh! I definitely know people who are worse than me. What's even better is that my current friends (The ones I consider my best friends) are pretty much just as crazy as I am. Take for instance KAke, whom I know I have mentioned before. Oh, the stories I could tell. But I won't. Just yet, anyway.

KAke and I have a tradition when we are together at events. I'm not going to take credit for it all, she's the one who instigates most of it. The tradition is that we, in some way or fashion, reveal to the world what beauty lies beneath our shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah it's middle-aged women gone wild. (MAWGW, coming to VHS next spring.) There's nothing new about that. It's more of an I'm here at a Junior League fund-raiser. How much can we push the envelope with these women?

As a matter of fact, the current president of the Junior League labeled me (in a not-so friendly way) as the Junior League Rogue.I think this means I don't live up to her expectations of what a Junior League member should be. Well, I loved the term so much I had a T-shirt made and wore it to the monthly meeting. Right across my DDs: Junior League ROGUE.I think this is one of many, many reasons I am no longer a member of the Junior League. Heh heh heh. Oh well, now I have more time to write pointless drabble in the Spew blog.

The bra and breast bearing duo do not limit themselves to Tacoma. Anywhere stuffiness is detected; it's our mission to turn things around. The Nutcracker in Seattle? No problem. Taking the kids to the park? What about our two daughter's fourth double-birthday party? The Gorge Amphitheater? No problem, no problem, no problem. The goal here is anti-conformity. Hopefully we will attain our goal before anyone gets seriously injured. And by injured I mean my husband getting fired.

As I finish doing my duty in the upstairs E9 bathroom, I notice the stall next to me. It's an actual wooden toilet, just like the one I was on, except it has the original high tank. The kind where you have to flush by pulling a chain. For some reason this excites me to an extreme. So, note to you: Go check out the upstairs of E9 next time you are there. It's well worth the $75 to rent it out for your next party.

By the way, I've found heaven on the Internet.¬" Steph DeRosa