MICHAEL SWAN: WEEKLY VOLCANO'S MUDROOM >>>

Today, while hanging out with fellow Art Door enthusiasts in downtown Tacoma, your best course of karmic action is to spin around and tap your ruby heels together three times and with your debit card securely in your pocket exclaim there's no place like the South Sound … there’s no place like South Sound:

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO IN TACOMA?: A parable, of sorts, on how Jesus the good Samaritan would respond to real situations happening in Tacoma.

REVOLVING JAIL DOOR: The homeless are gonna getcha.

REZONING OLYMPIA’S WATERFRONT: Whose vision will be chosen?

NUMBERED SPACES: Another typical week in Pierce County according to our meter.

PLAN YOUR WEEK: Check out our Viva South Sound arts and entertainment calendar.

MICHAEL SWAN: DELICIOUS NEWS >>>

Maxwell’s Speakeasy + Lounge provided Weekly Volcano food critics Jason and Jake de Paul the opportunity to ring up a few healthy tabs â€" enough so they’ve been ordered to wash the publishers’ cars the rest of the summer to make up for it. Not that Maxwell’s is any more expensive than other top-notch restaurants in Tacoma, it’s just that the boys couldn’t stop going back (as they tried to sell it) to make sure they had the story right. I’m sure that will come up at their early (forced) retirement party.

Check out their review of the new downtown Tacoma fine dining spot here.

PLUS: Chef Gordon Naccarato will open two new dining spaces.

STEPH DEROSA: I WANTED TO PLAY CRAPS >>>

I think it’s safe to say that any dining establishment who ends their name with “and Lounge” should be investigated as a dive bar candidate.  A’s Place Restaurant and Lounge in Milton was just begging us to stop in, with a name like that.  And yes, I was in Milton â€" obviously one of Dive Bar America’s best-kept secret cities.

Immediately upon entrance there were two words that those tiny voices in my head suddenly screamed: “Helloooo Vegas!!”  The restaurant’s congenial hostess looked like she just stepped out from behind a casino slot machine.  Painted on eyebrows, long glitzy fingernails, spectacles that would make Liberace jealous, and a huge white bouffant hairstyle that I’m sure housed many sparrows in its day.

Check out what I discovered here.

BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>

THE DAILY WORD

Gewgaw \G(Y)OO-gaw\, noun:

A showy trifle; a trinket; a bauble.

USAGE EXAMPLE: After noticing that his “9” button didn’t work, he couldn’t download ring-tones, and it took five minutes to send a text, Bobble Tiki began to wonder if the fancy pants phone he’d dropped three hundred bones on was anything more than a shiny, overpriced gewgaw.

MORNING NEWS

TACOMA: Traveller in the news again

OLYMPIA: Tough decisions

SEATTLE: PI's take on Semaj

UNITED STATES: John Edwards' love child

ENVIRONMENT: Shale talk

JUST BIZARRE: Coolest parent at camp

MORE STRANGE NEWS: Copy editor needed

THINGS TO DO TODAY
FILM LISTINGS: Look here
MUSIC LISTINGS: Here’s what’s happening
SHOOT THE SHIT: Weekly Volcano forums

STEPH DEROSA: BROKEN NEWS >>>

Local taco fans mourned this past Tuesday as Taco Tuesdays at Dave’s Meat & Produce were temporarily suspended.  At approximately 1:30 p.m., literally minutes before the Dave’s squad was about to start up the taco shop, Pierce County Health Department made their infamous appearance â€" thus shutting the famous weekly taco stand down.

What was the PCHD’s beef* with Dave’s?  There’s no hand-washing sink for the food prep guys outside.  They want Dave’s to literally tap into the water line below ground and install a sink out on the sidewalk.

But wait!  Stadium Thriftway does it, so why can’t Dave’s Meat & Produce?  My first answer was that they were close enough to the espresso stand’s sink.  I was wrong.  Stadium Thriftway is apparently “grandfathered in,” according to the Dave’s team.  The people at Dave’s also told me who they speculate might’ve turned them in to the PCHD, but being chocked full of journalistic integrity I’ll let you go in and talk to the guys at Dave’s for yourself.

Dave’s Meat and Produce will hopefully get Taco Tuesdays up and running by next week.  Their plan is to move the taco booth closer to the espresso stand in hopes they will be closer to a damn hand-washing sink.  States Dave’s group of guys, “If that doesn’t work, then we know something’s up â€" in a bad way,”

* Nice pun, huh?

DANIEL BLUE: MEET MIKE STASIAK >>>

Mike Stasiak is a reasonable man. Pictured here humbly plucking out a beautiful tune at this year's Dear Fest, he will travel back to N.Y.U in the fall where he is seeking a higher education than the one he got already, heyuck'.  Any man in a bolo is a friend of mine, because a bolero is a Mexican cowboy tie.   

Once Mike dressed like a pirate and danced in choreography; that was a good day. 

Another time, mike was going to trade me my car for his mini-van so that I could go get a scooter in Chehalis, I remember thinking how generous he was.   

In general, Mike is a man of few words, but when he does decide to speak, it is usually the kind of thing you are happy to hear.   

Someone raised this boy well, it was probably the Spanish because he is so good-looking.   

His songs were soft, and heartfelt, the ones that he had written himself were extremely poetic and on par with early Simon and Garfunkel.   

Always humble and careful to offer credit where it is due, Mike has secured a place in the hearts of this city's young culture, and we welcome him back with open arms.   

LINK: The Tacoma Files archive

RON SWARNER: JURIED ART EXHIBITION AWARDS >>>

Last week our art critic Alec Clayton wrote a lovely piece on the sixth annual Juried Local Art Exhibition at The Gallery at Tacoma Community College. Read it here.

The Gallery announced the winners:

Juror’s Choice Award
Don Haggerty, Interior Design
Jared Abwawo, Paramedic
Ron Hinson, Untitled
Joe Batt, Hiding

The Holley Junker Award
Margo Macdonald, Beach at Dusk

The Golden Artist Colors Award
Marilyn Bedford, Not Eating

Honorable Mention
William Mitchell, Colors de Melaque #5
Marilyn Bedford, Not Eating
Melissa Balch, Untitled
Brett Carlson, Popcorn

The show continues through Aug. 15. Check it out.

[Tacoma Community College, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-Thursday, 6501 S. 19th St., Building 5A, Tacoma, 253.460.4306]

STEVE DUNKELBERGER: THEATER THURSDAY >>>

The Music Man
Capital Playhouse is staging The Music Man, the Meredith Wilson classic about the fast talking Harold Hill who sweeps into the little town of River City, Iowa to start up a band. It’s a show that always seems to have audiences singing along as they leave the aisles. I’ve heard people singing “The Wells Fargo Wagon,” “Gary Indiana,” “76 Trombones” and “Goodnight My Someone” on the way out the door many times.
[KJM Center for the Arts, 7:30 p.m. Thursday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday, $10-$15, South Puget Sound Community College, 2011 Mottman Road, Olympia, 360.943.2744]

Disney's High School Musical
Encore! Theater presents Disney's High School Musical this weekend at its outdoor theater â€" bring chairs, blankets, picnic and bug spray. Anyone with a teen, preteen or tweenie in their lives will know all about this show since it is the latest production from the Disney marketing machine. But unlike Air Bud or Howard the Duck, this show is actually good. It has all the important factors of high school: sports, popularity, puppy love, cliques and all things teen angst.
[Impact Church International, 7 p.m. Friday and Saturday, $6-$15, 4819 Hunt St., Gig Harbor, 253.858.2282]

Aristocats Kids: Show Biz Kids and Broadway Bound
Encore!'s cross-town rival, Paradise Theatre, is staging another Disney production. Its Aristocats Kids: Show Biz Kids and Broadway Bound, the final performance of the theater's two-week theater camp, runs for two performances.
[Milton Boyd Auditorium, 3 p.m. Saturday, $5, Peninsula High School, 14105 Purdy Lane N.W., Gig Harbor, 253.851.PLAY]

LINK: Steve Dunkelberger's review of Grease
LINK: Viva South Sound arts and entertainment calendar

CARMEN JONES: HIDING IN THE TROPHY ROOM >>>

The Indian and I decided that we wanted to hide out last night and put our South Sound celebrity status (a.k.a. big fish) on the back burner, so we headed to one of our faaaavorite sneaky spots where no one ever bugs us: Spud’s Pizza Parlor, in the Trophy Room, of course.

What we stumbled upon there was an incredible happy hour that I feel so very compelled to tell you about.

Monday through Friday from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m., you get to “pay for two, but get three.” That was music to my over-worked ears. They then handed us these sweet Spud’s play chips. We were drinking domestics, Coors Light for he and Bud Light for me, so two white chips and one orange equaled a beer. What was even more stellar was that all six beers were just $10. That’s hella cheap.

They also offer complimentary happy hour pizza.

That Trophy Room does such an excellent job of always making me feel like a winner.