STEPH DEROSA: PIG UTERUS - IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER >>>

There was moment in time when my dog didn’t give a shit what she ate.   Even shit itself â€"she’d eat that as well.  Dog owners know what I’m talking about.  As my dog has aged and is nearing her geriatric canine years, she’s become quite the finicky little brat.  She’s gone from cheap Pedigree food, to all-natural specialty canned duck and sweet potato food, to not wanting to eat anything but REAL meat.  For this, I venture out to the East Asian market on South 38^th Street in Tacoma.  This is where, for $1.29 a pound; I find beef heart, tripe, livers, and gizzards. 

Being from Texas, there are not too many types of meat that I can’t handle.  I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy dining on such foods as pickled eggs and fried chicken gizzards â€" foods that most Yanks might find repulsive.  But it was at this East Asian market where I found the ultimate meat to test the ol’ gag-reflex: Pork Uteri.  That’s right, a pig’s uterus.  This was located next to the chicken feet, but under the pig snout in the Asian refrigerated foods section.

Pork Uteri, folks, is what we’ll be having for this week’s Dinner with DeRosa.  Grubbin’!

My first guest is Morgan.  I met him over a year ago at a Tacoma Beer Society event.   I’m speaking of the Tacoma Beer Society that thrived for a year before I handed it off to someone who didn’t do SHIT with it, and I watched all my hard work go down the drain.  Morgan was a regular attendee, even bringing his wife to a meeting only a couple of days after she had given birth to their child.  She looked fantastic, and was such a sport. Those two are both invited to this week’s imaginary Dinner with DeRosa.  Hey, she grew a baby in her uterus, so why not eat a pig’s?

Jenan Eichinger is one of the most beautiful, friendliest people I know.  She seemed a little quiet when I met her at this year’s Love Tacoma cruise, but I know I’ll be able to pull the “wild” out of her.  I can’t wait to catch up with her over Babe’s baby basket - I mean uterus.

Which leads me to this question: If the pig has had piglets, does the uterus taste different than a virgin pig’s?

Which leads me to another question I’ve always had about “pigs”:  Why do they expect you to slow down and hit the low speed before you get to the speed limit sign, yet you can’t speed up in order to be flyin’ by the time you hit the higher speed limit sign?

Maybe we’ll discuss these questions with Saul Escudero, who is also invited this week.  Saul is the typical “Mr. Hollywood”.  I met him at last week’s South Sound Eats launch party where he was workin’ the room, Hollywood style.  He lives in California but is in T-town often on business.  This is a guy that was humorous, witty, and personable, but looked at my chest way too much while we were talking for me to take him seriously.

Whatever.  I still think he’s cool.  I’ll share my uterus with him.  No, wait.  The pig’s uterus.  I’ll share the pig’s uterus with him.

Stacy from the Fife Starbucks is invited this week to dinner.  Bless her heart, she interrupted my meeting at just the perfect time.  I had to meet with these three other women, one of who is an overbearing, know-it-all control freak.  The only way for me to get along with someone like that is either keep my mouth shut, or talk to someone else.  Good gravy, she is such a pain in my ass.  I’ll have to vent more in this week’s Toilet Tales about that whole issue.  She is simply intolerable, and I’d love to yank that huge stick out of her ass at this week’s dinner, but then I’d have to invite her to dinner, thus having to spend more time with her â€" and that’s just not gonna happen.

Pat Nagle can come this week to DWD.  I’ve known him for many-a-years.  Back in 1998 or 1999 (I can’t remember, it was so long ago) I waited tables at the Harmon.  Oh, the stories I could tell.  Oh, the stuff we all used to do after hours.  Le sigh.  It was good, good times, that’s for sure.  Pat really hasn’t matured much in the past decade, yet neither have I â€" so we’re even.  This should make for some interesting dinner conversation.  And the fact that were having uterus leaves the table W I D E open for immature innuendos.  Get it? WIDE? 

Ok, I’ll stop now with the uteri-talk.  Mangiamo!

MATT DRISCOLL: ELECTION DAY COUNTDOWN >>>

In case you’ve been living under a rock or spent the last 2 years in an apathy-induced coma, you know tomorrow is Election Day. While â€" through the convenience of mail voting many in Pierce County and beyond have already cast their ballots â€" many more will still will line up at the polls tomorrow.

And once everyone (that means you, slacker!) has voted, we’ll all retire to a safe TV or barstool somewhere to watch the power of elected office decided.

In that spirit, tomorrow night the Weekly Volcano is sending out the lovable and usually drunk Steph DeRosa to wade through the election party madness. DeRosa will be hunkering down at the Mix to catch all the action, and she’ll be live blogging what she sees right here on Spew. When you’re not frantically chewing your fingernails over which way Ohio will swing tomorrow night, look to the Weekly Volcano for a little local flavor.

And…

If, by chance, you’re one of those bizarre “undecided voters” â€" who probably just likes all the media attention that comes with being an “undecided voter” - be sure to check out the Weekly Volcano this week for our Super Spooky Endorsement Issue, not to mention interviews with candidates Mike Lonergan, Pat McCarthy, Calving Goings, Tim Farrell, Dick Muri, Jesse "the Traveller" Hill and Vincent Stewart.

You can find the interviews by clicking here and the endorsements by clicking here.

MICHAEL SWAN: GO VOTE >>>

Calling this year’s election one of the most anticipated in recent history is a monstrous understatement. Ask the man on the street what he’ll be doing tonight, and odds are his answer will be “Watching the election returns as if my life depended on it.”

Keep your eye on the Pierce County Auditor's Web site for today's Election results. The first batch will hit the site at 8:30 p.m. tonight.

LINK: Weekly Volcano endorsements

MICHAEL SWAN: WEDNESDAY MESS >>>

Due to crappy weather, the Broadway LID Market Street paving project schedule has been revised. Paving will now take place on Market Street, from 9th Street to 7th Street, from 7 a.m. until 4 p.m. on Nov. 5.

St. Helens Avenue from Market Street to Opera Alley will also be paved during this time.

For more information about the project, visit this nifty site.

JOHN HERBERT: WEEKLY VOLCANO WILL HAVE TO WAIT >>>

Just got off the phone with Weekly Volcano acting editor Matt Driscoll (Pappi is still on vacation). He’s been at the Gloria D Lutheran Church on South 19th since 9:30 a.m. waiting to vote. He’s says that neighborhood is being Baracked.

“This is craziness â€" in the best possible way,” Driscoll tells me.

Driscoll skipped the absentee ballot in order to experience history.

“I’m literally getting a little misty-eyed standing in line," he adds. "This is huge. History. Real deal history.”

JAKE DE PAUL: ASADO/MASA VS. SOFIA BISTRO/MANDOLIN CAFE >>>

Monday, Nov. 24 the South Sound can experience the on-the-fly cooking wizardry of Asado/Masa Executive Chef Joel Mertens and Sofia Bistro/Mandolin Cafe Executive Chef Jaron Witsoe as they face off in a fierce but friendly battle for the title Ã"Urban Gourmet's Iron Chef Tacoma."

The brainchild of the Sixth Avenue kitchen store, the chefs will have one hour to create a four-course meal from a black box filled with mystery ingredients. Celebrity judges will determine the winner.

The real winner will be Tacoma's Family Justice Center, which will receive the net proceeds to help support victims of domestic violence.

The event is loosely based on the once-hot-as-wasabi televised-cook-off import Iron Chef.

Watch the action for $75, which includes a wine tasting, food, door prizes and swag bags.

[Urban Gourmet, Monday, Nov. 24, 6 p.m., $75, 2602 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.3111]

BILL TIMNICK: COQ AU VIN AND THE IMPRESSIONISTS >>>

The Northwest Sinfonietta performs an evening of pieces by premiere musical impressionists, including Claude Debussy and Maurice Ravel, Saturday, Nov. 22 at the Rialto Theater.  Featured performer is pianist Joel Fan.  The program also includes music from Falla’s The Three Cornered Hat.

I can’t wait to soak up some of the atmospheres created by the masters of this genre, performed by a group as accomplished as the Sinfonietta.

I also can’t wait for the dinner deal orchestrated with The Tacoma Club: coq au vin, seafood paella or veal calvados for $48, which includes admission to the Sinfonietta concert. Dinner begins at 5 p.m. before the 7:30 p.m. concert. 

Reserve your spot at 253.591.5894. If you already have concert tickets, you can still enjoy the food by calling 253.272.3218.

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

JAKE DE PAUL: OAKBROOK NEIGHBORHOOD JOINT CHANGES AGAIN >>>

The folks behind the Schooner Pub in Lakewood bought Rudy's (7505 Steilacoom Blvd. S.W., Lakewood) and will rename it Lakewood Pub & Grub.

Could this be the final name for this joint?