MICHAEL SWAN: JON STEWART RIPS INTO BUSH >>>

Pres. George Bush hits it hard as though Jan. 20 is the day his album drops.

STEPH DEROSA: VIAFORE’S CLUB SALAD >>>

Rating: Two out of four croutons
 

Let’s be honest, Viafore's Italian Delicatessen isn’t the first place you think of when you have a hankering for salad, and for good reason, too. Viafore’s in Fircrest is not known for their salads, but they are definitely known for their delectable Italian meats, grubbin’ take-home dishes, traditional imported pastas, and satisfying lunchtime sandwich plates. But as I watched the Weekly Volcano’s intern, Krista, chow down her hearty handmade sandwich at lunch last week, it was my towering Viafore’s Club Salad that filled up my belly and made me a happy lady.

Description: There’s no way to glorify this: The lettuce was obviously a salad mix from a bag. I will not discredit them though; it was extremely fresh, and downright tasty. The typical salad mix of purple cabbage and julienne carrots danced inside the enormous mound of iceberg/romaine mix found upon my disposable plastic plate. Generous amounts of chopped-ham deli meat, fresh tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese weighed down my plate even more while resting gingerly along the edges without falling off.

Taste: It was lunchmeat on some lettuce â€" I’m not gonna lie. But what Viafore’s does â€"Viafore’s does RIGHT. They have delicious, traditional, fresh deli meat that they are not shy about sharing with you, and a mozzarella cheese that will rival all others. Um, hello! We’re at an authentic family-owned Italian delicatessen! How could they not have this incredibly soft and yummy mozzarella? Well, Viafore’s had the cheese all right, and it was perfect. Even in the dead of January, these Italians know how to pick a good tomato. Consistently red and juicy tomato slices garnished the border of my no-frills (and no croutons) Viafore’s Club Salad.

Conclusion: Viafore’s is not trying to be something they’re not. If you want some deli meat, some cheeses, some homemade dinnertime dishes, some imported noodles, and to support a local, family-owned business, then visit Viafore’s. You’ll love it. If it’s a salad you’re looking for at Viafore’s, just be aware that they are giving you a salad the way Nana used to make, and with only the freshest ingredients they have â€" nothing is glorified. Also, when real estate is lost with the circumference of their plates, they take it to the next level, literally. That salad is one tall mofo, and all for a measly $4.95. You can’t even buy half a salad that’s half as fresh from McDonald’s.

Dressing on the side
More than Christmas, Thanksgiving, or any other national holiday, a birthday is by far my favorite day of the year. To quote Dave Barry’s “25 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years” from his book Dave Barry Turns 50: “There comes a time when you should stop expecting people to make a big deal out of your birthday. That time is age 11.” Mr. Barry, I disagree.

To me a birthday is a time to celebrate another year of life, of happy memories, and of good times to come. I couldn’t think of a better reason to gather friends than to share the joy of life and experience. Every year I make a big deal out of my birthday like a little giggling schoolgirl. Hell, I don’t care, I’ll throw my own stinkin’ party. I’m not ashamed of getting older, or of anyone knowing my age. My age was hard earned, goddammit! And tuition to the college of life experience is nothing you can put a price tag on. I cherish it everyday.

Last night we got together for what has become an annual family dinner celebrating the birthday and life of my husband’s brother who passed away more than 20 years ago at the young age of teenhood. I always relish in the family love, and grow just a little more thankful for the time I have here. Shouldn’t we all?

Celebrate your birthday, people! And if there’s free food and liquor, call me.

[Viafore's Italian Delicatessen, 604 Regents Blvd., Fircrest, 253.564.2228]

SUZY STUMP: GETTING MY OX ON >>>

Still reeling from New Year’s Eve? Don’t pack up the party just yet: The Year of the Ox won’t commence until midnight Jan. 26, kicking off 15 days of Chinese New Year festivities around the world. But it’s not just an excuse to get drunk and make resolutions; this is also the most important Chinese holiday of the year, a period of purging, bonding and ritual tied to the lunar and solar cycles of the earth.

Of course, I’ll just get drunk. And I’m doing it at the Emerald Queen Casino. The casino celebrates the Chinese New Year with a Tet/ Chinese New Year Celebration, a free event featuring a lion dance, comedian Nhu Nguyen and, no surprise, a mystery envelope giveaway where seven lucky winners will walk away with $1,000 in cash. That has to be enough to buy an ox.

Then Saturday, Feb. 7, the New Year celebration goes Tonga with the Asia Pacific Cultural Center’s version at the Tacoma Dome Exhibition Center. While the food, dance, music and vendors will encompass the entire Asian Pacific community, Tonga receives a special nod this year. Grab more details at asiapacificculturalcenter.org.

[Emerald Queen Casino, Sunday, Jan. 25, 8:30 p.m., no cover, 2024 E. 24th St., Tacoma, 253.383.1572]
[Tacoma Dome Exhibition Hall, Saturday, Feb. 7, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., free, 2727 E. D St., Tacoma, 253.383.3900]

LINK: ViVA South Sound arts and entertainment guide

MATT DRISCOLL: FROM TACOMA EYES >>>
 
As I mentioned in this week’s issue of the Weekly Volcano, semi-famous Tacomans Leonard and Teddy Haggarty, along with Justin Peterson â€" one of my favorite bartenders of all time â€" will be up close and personal tomorrow in Washington, D.C. when Obama takes office. The three, thanks to the wild and inspiring story of Leonard Haggarty, are real life ticket holders to one of the most historic events our country has ever witnessed. Haggarty saw first hand the wrath of Katrina, and had a business wiped out by the destructive hurricane â€" an experience that led him to volunteer for Obama in five states over the course of the primary season and general election. As a Katrina survivor and a dedicated workhorse during the campaign, Leonard Haggarty had done his part to make tomorrow’s historic inauguration a reality. Congressman Adam Smith’s office was kind enough to reward Haggarty with three tickets to the big show. Naturally, he invited his brother, Teddy, and good friend, Peterson.

Throughout the course of tomorrow’s inauguration, and even before it (as evident by this post), the Weekly Volcano will be checking in with the Haggartys and Peterson to get a glimpse of the momentous occasion through Tacoma eyes.

After taking a red-eye flight to Philadelphia, this morning Leonard, Teddy and Justin needed to get to D.C. to pick up their tickets. Let the cryptic text message updates from Peterson’s phone start there…

1:18 p.m. Eastern: We are an hour out of D.C. Getting Red Bulls.

5:35 p.m. Eastern: Just got our tickets. Waited 3 hours. Time to party.

When asked about just making the 6 p.m. Eastern deadline for picking up tickets …

5:42 p.m. Eastern: I think they are extending the time because of the long lines.

2:05 a.m. Eastern: Crashing in a fancy hotel lobby after hitting up some Irish bars. It's better than the nap in the park earlier. It's about 18 degrees outside! We think we'll have to get in line in about three hours.

6:30 a.m. Eastern: Waiting in line. We've never seen a line this big. It's cold and everyone is in a great mood.

11:00 a.m. Eastern: Not getting in very easily. This is a mess.

11:30 a.m. Eastern: Jostle, jostle, jostle jostle.

Noon Eastern: A sudden calm.

12:15 p.m. Eastern: Crap. We didn't make it in. Chaos. Many people without tickets trying to get in.

12:22 p.m. Eastern: They shut the gates right in front of us. We have been waiting since 5 a.m. Sucks, but no Bush at least.

5:43 p.m. Eastern: We snapped some shots of the Obamas during the parade. Headed to Philly to eat a Philly sandwich, then board a plane for home.

UPDATE: We are back.
The good the bad and the ugly.
The bad and the ugly first.
We had tickets for the purple section,
We got in line at 5 a.m.  After waiting 7 hours in line, 20 degrees, no
bathrooms or food, we got within 20 feet of our entrance at 11:50 a.M. when they
shut the gate.  Although we were very close.  We did not actually see the
the Inauguration.

The good.  We met some incredible people and I was
able to get into the parade route (not easy at all) and
took the photo below.

MICHAEL SWAN: HOPE AND THE TV >>>

If you’re happy about no more Bush, clap your hands. (clap clap)
If you’re happy about our first black president, clap your hands. (clap clap)
If you’re happy and you know it, then your plans today will surely show it.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. (clap clap)

We’re calling in patriotic and whoopin’ it up. Here are a few South Sound spots where everyone inside will be clapping their hands:

Inauguration and pancakes
Puget Sound Pizza opens for breakfast at 7 a.m. with the televisions aimed at Washington, D.C.
317 S. Seventh, Tacoma

Live screening
The Olympia Film Society and KAOS Radio 89.3 FM will host a free live screening of the inauguration beginning at 7:30 a.m. inside the Capitol Theater.
206 Fifth Ave. S.E., Olympia

The Red Hot Inauguration
Two dollar red hots, two dollar pints and the inauguration on the big screen beginning at 11 a.m.
2914 Sixth Ave., Tacoma

Olympia Inauguration Celebration
Beginning at noon and running through midnight, this bash will include a live band, DJs, dancing and food inside the Columbian Hall. Tickets are $10.
6794 Martin Way E., Olympia

Pierce County Presidential Inauguration Party
Throw on your tuxedo or T-shirt and check out Barack Obama’s most excellent adventure on the tube at The Swiss. The event starts at 6 p.m. with a rebroadcast, The Disclaimers perform at 7. The event is free, but food and drink are no host.
1904 S. Jefferson, Tacoma

Crown Bar Inauguration Party
Charlie, Jacqueline and the crew at the Crown Bar will screen rebroadcast the inauguration at 6 p.m. on their new big screen television. Festivities will include Obama and Biden trivia games (with prizes for the winners). Bartender Dino will fire up unique drinks for night including “Hail to the Chief” made with Crown Royal, apple cider and Tuaca, and “Donkey Rules” made with Moscow Mule Vodka and ginger. They are also sponsoring a food drive to benefit the Tacoma Emergency Food Network through the end of January. Bring in a can of food, personal care product or baby diapers for those Tacomans in need.
2705 Sixth Ave., Tacoma

Obama Inaugural Bash
The Tempest Lounge will rebroadcast the inauguration beginning at 6 p.m. with special cocktails.
913 Martin Luther King Jr Way, Tacoma

Thurston County Democrats Party
A rebroadcast of the inauguration on The Vault’s big screen in a party atmosphere typical of the Thurston County Democratic party from 6 to 8:30 p.m. The cost is $5 or a donation of five cans of food for Thurston County Food Bank.
425 Franklin St., Olympia

(clap clap)

LINK: Tacomans in D.C.

CHRISTOPHER WOOD: A SPECIAL DAY >>>

Weekly Volcano film critic Christopher Wood captured the Tacoma Community March to the city’s 21st annual Martin Luther King Jr. birthday celebration inside the Tacoma Dome Exhibition Hall yesterday. Bates Technical College students, staff and families, as well as the Tacoma community, began the march at Bates at 1101 S. Yakima Ave. around 9:30 a.m.

Inside the Exhibition Hall, president-elect Barack Obama received as much fanfare as King as the celebration fell on the day before the historic inauguration of the country’s first black president.

LINK: Lightyear Video

MICHAEL SWAN: BOSTON HARBOR PIES >>>

When the Weekly Volcano editorial staff wants to have a pie fight with the sales staff, we buy only the best from Boston Harbor Pies in downtown Olympia.  They make pies the old fashioned way at this small storefront on the main drag â€" flaky crust, fresh ingredients and a pleasant staff.  There are a variety of flavors to choose from.  The Strawberry-Rhubarb pie rocks. We especially appreciated the pie's aerodynamics.

They are open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday. Phone in your orders for cream or specialty whole pies in advance.

[Boston Harbor Pies, 513 Capitol Way S., Olympia, 360.705.3180]

KRISTA CURRY: THIS PLACE ROCKS >>>

Oh, God. How I want those platform shoes.

Those tiny, tiny, probably size 4 red patent leather platform shoes for $36. They've got to be three inches off the ground and were originally from Nordstrom â€" the label doesn't look like it does now, though. Do I need red patent leather platform shoes that my foot couldn't fit into even if it were bound? That I would never have the courage to wear even if they did fit? Shockingly, it takes me a few minutes to realize that no … no I don't.

I have similar struggles with many other items in Funkoma Vintage on Tacoma's Antique Row. Do I need a third pair of saddle shoes? But they're only $10! Do I need orange heels? I almost buy them because they're in my size. $21, Nickels brand. No. Leave the shoes alone.

I find a men's blue suede button-up (or some kind of texture like that) shirt from the '60s for $30. And hey! They've got the bell-bottoms to go with it. I also love the leather vest with a mesh back for $15 (mostly because it's hilarious) â€" oh, and no worries: it's unisex!

I save the dresses-and coats-side of the room for last. A pink, formal floor-length dress (that I had a dream about last night, no joke) is $18. A white leather blazer that I'm finding impossible to describe but involves bows is $18, and a sheepskin coat is $29.

Damn, this place is cool. I wasn't positive where it was from the street, though. Look for the sign that says "Vintage Clothing" and prepare to spend money.

[Funkoma Vintage & Amocat Antiques, 712 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.830.4891]

LINK: Weekly Volcano’s Bargain Guide is Feb. 5. Details here.