STEPH DEROSA: BANNED BOOK CLUB >>>

Damn Judy Blume suckered me in at an early age with Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing and Superfudge. Next thing you know I’m hiding underneath the covers, secretly reading Forever by flashlight. The kids totally “do it” in that book. I think I can blame her version of teenage sex and heavy petting for my adulthood obsession with amateur porn. Hell, I’ve got to blame somebody, haven’t I?

Long gone are the days of masking illicit book covers behind Time Life magazines, hiding under the covers, and reading those “banned books” your momma always warned you about. Challenged and banned books have come a long way from being chastised by the general public, just ask members of the Banned Book Club. This wayward group of literary enthusiasts, who engage in books that have either been banned or challenged, meet Tuesday, Feb. 17 at Tempest Lounge.

This month’s pick, Krik? Krak! by Edwidge Danticat, can be purchased at King’s Books. Anyone is welcome to join the Banned Book Club Tuesday, so take part in the conversation and open your eyes to a world of half priced hors d’ouvres, open-minded opinions, and people who enjoy literacy for what it is â€" not for what society deems unfit for mental consumption.

[Tempest Lounge, Tuesday, Feb. 17, 7 p.m., no cover, 21 and older, 913 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Tacoma, 253.272.4904]
[King’s Books, 218 St. Helens Ave. Tacoma, 253.272.8801]

JAKE DE PAUL: HOW THEY STACK UP >>>

Marcia’s Silver Spoon
2601 S. Tacoma Way, Tacoma
253.472.0157
Two buttermilk pancakes (with two eggs and meat), $5.99

I usually don't eat anything the size of my head.  My head can sustain the orbit of three moons without disrupting my life. Marcia’s served the only plate of pancakes I couldn’t finish, not because they weren’t good â€" they were damn goodâ€" but because they were gargantuan. The server brought out two thick hubcaps of fluffy goodness. I couldn’t see the plate. The plastic cup of syrup embedded due to plate space issues. I knew I’d be skipping lunch. I managed to down three-fourths of these edible landmasses. The golden brown pancakes were crisp on the edges due to a hot butter bath. As my stomach expanded into my ribs, the buttery goodness burp winded its way up my esophagus, and a syrupy wave of bliss clouded my mind, I felt intensely satisfied.

Puget Sound Pizza
317 S. Seventh, Tacoma,
253.383.4777
Three Pancakes (with butter and powdered sugar), $5.25

People love this downtown Tacoma breakfast hangout for its college hangout kitsch, weekend karaoke, rockin’ dining soundtrack, and wonderful pizza. But the pancakes, huge, sweet and fluffy, rarely get the praise they deserve. They look and taste as a pancake should - not too brown or gummy.

IHOP
1802 S. Mildred St., Tacoma
253.566.1777
Custom order: two buttermilk pancakes, two eggs, two sausage links, $10.86

The International House of Pancakes isn’t exactly a place of culinary wonder; its slogans are either corny (”An American Icon”) or sad (”This is My IHOP”). This classic chain does earn props for longevity, a professional staff, immaculately clean atmosphere and its incredible breadth of offerings. No matter what kind you crave, IHOP has you covered â€" from pancakes topped with something sugary to waffles topped with something sugary to international crepes rolled around something sugary topped with something sugary. Their Rooty Tooty Fresh ’N Fruity â€" an ethereal combination of buttermilk pancakes smothered with fruit and whipped cream â€" has been IHOP’s signature dish since 1984.

IHOP has a couple of deals for you, too.

Dig into IHOP's Hungry Consumer Relief Plan now. HCRP (really, a lackluster acronym from a restaurant chain known by its acronym) is simple: For $4.99 IHOP will give you all the pancakes you can eat with eggs and hash browns.

From the IHOP press release:
"IHOP invites guests to enjoy their fill of All You Can Eat Pancakes, with minimal economic impact, any time of day now through February 22 ... Pancakes are served fresh three at a time until the guest is satisfied."

Oh, and don’t forget IHOP will give away one free short stack (three) of buttermilk pancakes, from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m., Feb. 24, which is National Pancake Day. They do ask that you make a donation to the Children’s Miracle Network.

MICHAEL SWAN: STUPID RABBIT EARS >>>

America’s first family finally upgrades to high-def on tonight’s episode of The Simpsons. Here’s the fancy new main title sequence:

Looks like Erik Hanberg announced this before us. Check it.

MICHAEL SWAN: TWO CAR GARAGE LIVE >>>

The Ventures and The Fabulous Wailers â€" two legendary garage rock bands from the 253 â€" will perform April 10 at Seattle's Moore Theatre in support of their new Two Car Garage CD. Tickets are $29.50 and $50 and available now at Tickets.com. A special $100 VIP ticket is also available, which includes a pre-show meet and greet, plus your choice of a free Two Car Garage CD or free T-shirt.

LINK: Previously in the Weekly Volcano

Oh, here is the Two Car Garage cover photo shoot again. Can't get enough of it.

Photo: J.M. Simpson

BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>

Tacoma students might be enjoying Fish Sticks Friday in the Skippers Seafood & Chowder House & Cafeteria.

Japan faces its worst economic slump since Godzilla kicked Mechagodzilla's ass.

When Sen. Lindsey Graham advocates a government takeover of private banks, you know we’ve got a crisis.

Crazy ass Roland Burris says the answers should have been in a form of a question, or something.

They all live with bad submarine drivers.

Admiral Ackbar says it’s a trap! Well, not really. But he has a talk show.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER: I HEART THE SPEANS >>>

The Acme Grub Cage bartenders saw an odd sight the moment The Speans took to the stage Saturday night after Guns & Rossetti and the Toughtimes rocked the joint. The moment the bass chord rattled through the floor, the beer chuggers immediately fled their bar stools for the stage. It could best be described at a parting of the sea. The entire bar packed themselves into half the space in order to be near the band.

The Speans, a band composed of members from My Name, Wretch Like Me, Honest Abe, Goodbye Harry and Once for Kicks, was tight on the music, aces on its visuals and riff-like in their jams. Keep an eye out for their next show. It's a worthy experience.

[Acme Grub Cage, 1310 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.272.1892]

LINK: South Sound live music and DJs tonight

WEEKLY VOLCANO NEWS TEAM: ADVOCATES DEFENSIVE DRIVING >>>

In case you weren't scared enough by the current global economic crisis, now we've got nuclear submarines running into one another out there in the ocean.

Great. Just great. Now we're going to need a new Ambien CR prescription.