ZOMBIE PREPAREDNESS

The stench of rotting flesh is in the air.. Oh wait, it's just that pumpkin decomposing on my front porch. Either way, it reminds me that it's only a matter of time before mobs of decaying corpses roam the streets searching for live bodies to feast on.

The zombie apocalypse is inevitable, and while I'd recommend boarding your windows, hoarding canned food and playing hours of Resident Evil, it won't be enough to save your ass when doomsday comes. It's time to learn some zombie combat skills.

Lucky for you! Tacoma Tactical is hosting a zombie preparedness training course this Friday and Saturday night, all as part of National Zombie Apocalypse Awareness Month (no joke). For just five bucks you'll be put into a realistic zombie fighting scenario. Think paintball meets Zombie Land.   You can rely on your Jedi-mind tricks to defeat the enemy, or just the Airsoft guns (replica firearms that shoot plastic pellets) that will be available to rent. I'm going to keep it old school with their shotgun model.

This is also the perfect opportunity for you to organize your post-apocalypse army. I don't buy that "every man for himself" bullshit. Your alliances will be key to surviving a flesh-annihilating epidemic.

Now is the time to combine forces with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or that hot girl/guy you see every morning on the light-rail (basically, anyone you think you can tolerate in a confined bunker for however long an apocalypse lasts). Make the most of this opportunity and keep in mind that while many a fool will be out getting bombed on Jaegermeister, you will be acquiring the skills and know-how to protect yourself, your loved ones, and the hot light-rail chick from impending zombie attacks. 

Zombie Preparedness Training Course

OCT. 29 - 30, 6 p.m. - midnight

810 E F ST, Tacoma, WA 98421

253.345.1471

Tacomatactical.com