Weekly Volcano Blogs: Walkie Talkie Blog

Posts made in: May, 2014 (120) Currently Viewing: 41 - 50 of 120

May 11, 2014 at 11:33am

593rd Expeditionary Sustainment Command hosts first annual triathlon

I Corps Deputy Commander Maj. Gen. Ken Dahl gets ready to ride 90K during the 593rd’s first Rest Assured Challenge Triathlon, May 10.

Training for and competing in a triathlon can become habitual.

And a lot of fun.

Just listen to what one person had to say about Brig. Gen. Kurt Ryan, commander of the 593rd Expeditionary Sustainment Command (Expeditionary), understanding of such events.

"He likes to push people to be their best," commented Maj. Virginia Supanick as she prepared.

"It's a habit with him; he wants the best for the individual soldier and for the team."

The 593rd provides deployable mission command to support joint forces, coalition forces and civil authorities; supports sustainment, theater opening, and opportunities to enable freedom of action in the Pacific Command's area of operations in support of land operations.

The unit's motto is "Rest Assured."

Combat readiness based on mentally and physically prepared soldiers - to say nothing of a sense of teamwork and high morale - is key to the success of the 593rd.

To that end, the unit hosted it first annual "Rest Assured Challenge" triathlon at Soldiers Field House yesterday. More than 120 individuals and 44 teams participated.

>>> Sgt. 1st Class Francis Famlarcano, 47th Combat Support Hospital, gets ready for a 500-meter swim, 90-kilometer bike ride and 3 mile run. Photo credit: J.M. Simspon

>>> Two participants in the "Rest Assured Challenge" 593rd Triathlon compete in the 500-meter swim. Photo credit: J.M. Simpson

"This is a great message about physical fitness and teamwork," said Maj. Gen. Ken Dahl, I Corps' deputy commander, moments before beginning the challenge.

"For some of us it got us out of bed," he added with a hearty laugh.

"I've done bicycle rides and runs before, but the swim is new to me," he added.

"I plan to finish by Tuesday," commented 1st Sgt. Scott Taub, 42nd Military Police Brigade, to more laughter.

"Seriously though, we're out here to set an example, to show what we can do."

>>> Maj. Margarita Dunlap, 593rd Expeditionary Sustainment Command, laces on her bike riding shoes.  "I will meet the challenge to do all three events," she commented. Photo credit: J.M. Simspon

>>> One of the over 300 participants in the "Rest Assured Challenge" 593rd Triathlon heads out for a 90 kilometer bike ride.  He had already swum 500 meters and would run 3 miles to complete the event. Photo credit: J.M. Simpson

A 500-meter swim, a 90-kilometer bicycle ride and a 3-mile run comprised the challenge. The order and distance of the three events were deliberately chosen to mirror the numbers "593."

For many of the soldiers participating, the event represented their first attempt at competing in a triathlon.

"I have an interest in this challenge," said Capt. Chad Peabody, 42nd Military Police Brigade as he pinned his number to his shirt.

"This is my first one, and I am anxious to see how I do."

For one soldier, the challenge represented a good warm-up for other triathlons he hopes to compete in.

"I've been doing triathlons for the past six or seven years," Master Sgt. Kris Rick, Task Force Raider, said.

"I'll use the swim as a warm-up, the bike ride as a work out, and the run as a cool down," he said with a smile.

Here is the list of the individual and team winners:
Top Male and Fastest Male Officer - Maj. Eric Reid
Top Female and Fastest Female Officer - Cpt. Allison Anderson
Fastest Male NCO - 1st. Sgt. Kristopher Rick
Fastest Female NCO - Sgt. Brittany Dufour
Fastest Male Soldier - Spc. Ryan Mitchell
Fastest Officer Team - Lt. Katie Whitmore, Maj. Jason Critzer, Cpt. Floyd White
Fastest Enlisted Team - Sgt. 1st Class Robert Edwards, Spc. Corey Sigmund

May 12, 2014 at 7:32am

Monday Morning Joe: DoD wants BRAC, Taliban spring offensive, military transgender ban, Navy NeRD, Tarantino Star Wars ...

Anti-Tank Platoon, 2nd Tank Battalion, 2nd Marine Division throws at Fort Pickett, Va. Original photo by Lance Cpl. Joey Mendez

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 5.12.14 >>>

Ukraine rebels claim victory.

Militants carried out a deadly attack on a government building in eastern Afghanistan and fired rockets near Kabul's main airport today as the Taliban began their annual spring offensive.

The Defense Department is calling on Congress to authorize another round of base realignments and closures because of excess capacity that is cutting into funding for troop readiness and other higher priority needs.

U.S. Air Force faces more tough choices in 2016.

Japan to take major step toward collective self-defense.

Cold War 2.0 at Sea.

Brad R. Carson is the Army's new undersecretary.

Slowing the growth of military pay and housing allowances, reducing commissary subsidies and adjusting TRICARE costs will save $31 billion over the next five years and enable readiness to be maintained, said Army Chief of Staff Gen. Ray Odierno.

House lawmakers shot down most of the Pentagon's proposals to cut costs.

The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff says Fort Bragg will need to make adjustments as the military prepares for downsizing.

Hagel: Military should review transgender ban.

Debate grows over proposal for CIA to turn over drones to Pentagon.

Tomorrow's submarines could sink America's Navy.

Sailors drive potent new riverine boat in Persian Gulf.

Army designing next-generation protective mask.

"Arlington at 150" is the theme for sesquicentennial celebrations at Arlington National Cemetery, slated to run from tomorrow to June 16.

Service academy nominations often withheld from public.

The Navy has an e-reader for submarines: The NeRD.

A high-speed robot arm that snatches objects out of mid-air.

Why settle for snake skin boots when you can have the entire snake?

Cool: Jack White and Neil Young are appearing together on The Tonight Show tonight.

Yep: NBC canceled Community.

Parks and Recreation will end next year.

Larry Wilmore will take Stephen Colbert's slot on Comedy Central.

Finally: Eleven Comic-Book Superpowers the World Could Do Without.

Awesome: Mother's Day Game Show.

How Star Wars would be if it were a Tarantino film.

LINK: Original photo by Lance Cpl. Joey Mendez

May 12, 2014 at 7:53am

5 Things To Do Today: Red Green, Lakewood Community Jazz Band, Dead Language and more ...

Red Green

MONDAY, MAY 12 2014 >>>

1. Red Green, who became famous for such things as duct tape, Possum Lodge and his own unique style of humor and wisdom on Canada's much funnier answer to Home Improvement, will throw on his suspenders and share his thoughts on "How To Do Everything" at 7 p.m. in the Rialto Theater. After establishing himself as one of the world's handiest men in 15 seasons of his enormously popular television show, far-north fixture of fix-it now demonstrates that there is no limit to his specialized knowledge and advice.

2. Lakewood Community Jazz Band, under the direction of Syd Potter, returns to the Rhythm and Rye at 8 p.m. for a jazz show you can dance to.

3. Guitarist Rafael Tranquilino incorporates blues, funk, rock, funk, ska, metal, reggae, Latin and jazz-fusion. As accomplished as he is varied, Tranquilino can be seen every Monday night as host of Stonegate Pizza's rockin' blues, if not experimental, jam at 8:30 p.m.

4. Alaska garage rock band Dead Language joins Otem Relick and Nighttime Schoolbus for a 9 p.m. show at Le Voyeur.

5. The New Frontier Lounge isn't The Five Spot on Cooper Square. Then again, it doesn't sit in the East Village of the 1950s either. But, grab the corner bar stool at 9 p.m. in The New Frontier, nurse a double bourbon, close your eyes and let pianist Nate Dybevik, bassist Arneson Cameron and drummer Peter Tietjen take you to the famous New York City jazz club over the din of the drinking Tacoma crowd. 

LINK: Monday, May 12 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

May 12, 2014 at 10:16am

Words & Photos: Gig Harbor Beer Festival

Peace, indeed. The third annual Gig Harbor Beer Festival was a righteous, fun day of beer drinking. Photo credit: Pappi Swarner

They called out to ye faithful, and all ye faithful answered. Saturday, at the third annual Gig Harbor Beer Festival, I watched the gigantic beer garden in the middle of the posh Uptown Gig Harbor retail hub slowly but surely fill up with the most faithful of beer-goers. Let me assure you, shelling out $25 for a six-hour session of beer sampling was absolutely worth it, especially when many of these beers had been just released, or were limited-edition, or were 9 percent ABV and up.

Around 20 breweries made an appearance at the Fest, manning tables in a giant circle around the perimeter. Tastes ranged from a piney Cascadian Dark Ale from 7 Seas Brewery, to a big hop bomb Belgian IPA from Dick's Brewing, a citrusy Flying Monkey Dogfight Pale Ale from American Brewing, German-style Kolsch Ale from Bainbridge Island Brewing and a refreshing Zythos Single Hop from Wingman Brewers, which was perfect beneath the warm sun.

There were also things such as the RAM Big Horn Brewery's Maibock, which brewmaster Bethany Carlsen trumpeted as "a beer that will sneak up on you." It was indeed rich, with a big kick and altogether delicious.

Another big beer was the Damnedeleven from Slippery Pig Brewery out of Poulsbo. Ringing in at 11 percent ABV, this tasty, imperial brew was loaded with 30 pounds of dandelion.

A steady stream lined up before Northwest Brewing's Mango Weizen - and with good reason. This cheery American/Bavarian Hef had the perfect amount of fruit.

The capacity crowd voted for its favorite beer at the Gig Harbor Beer Festival. Silverdale's Rainy Daze Brewing Co.'s Mind Funk walked away with the award. The roasted aroma Oatmeal Pale Stout had a subtle layer of coffee from Sunrise Coffee in Port Townsend. Worthy.

Festival producer John Fosberg can chalk up another success. Thanks to a sunny day, awesome music by Aisle of View and Perry Acker, delicious beer and a very happy, fun crowd, the fourth annual Gig Harbor Beer Festival will be a no-brainer.

LINK: More photos from the third annual Gig Harbor Beer Festival

May 13, 2014 at 7:38am

Tuesday Morning Joe: U.S. vs China, 2-2 SBCT anniversary, military maternity leave, R&R bump, Twitter mute button ...

An Afghan National Army Special Forces member fires a rocket propelled coffee on a range during training in Washer district, Helmand province, Afghanistan. Original photo by Sgt. Benjamin Tuck

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 5.13.14 >>>

U.S., China spar again on South China Sea dispute.

The VA health care system has so many perverse incentives that it may have actually given rewards to those who treated veterans the worst.

Iran's purported reverse-engineered copies of the Lockheed Martin RQ-170 Sentinel unmanned aircraft are nothing but cheap mockups, industry sources told USNI News.

Gen. Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, wants to rebalance the use of military power.

A small group of U.S. Special Forces troops will arrive in Nigeria later this month to advise on combating Boko Haram.

Former Sgt. Kyle White will receive the Medal of Honor for valor today at the White House.

The Navy's cost-saving plan to lay up 11 cruisers is being met with skepticism on Capitol Hill.

Combat veterans of the 2nd Infantry Division's 2nd Brigade Combat Team, will mark the 10th anniversary of the U.S. Army's historic first operational deployment from South Korea, this August.

Legislation introduced by Reps. Tammy Duckworth (D-Ill.) and Kristi Noem (R-S.D.) would extend maternity leave for women serving in the military.

The Defense Department has reinstated two-week rest and recuperation leave in nine countries for troops who deploy before June 1.

Reda Hicks, an Army wife and attorney who works to improve the lives of military families, was recognized Friday as Army Spouse of the Year.

U.S. Army Training and Doctrine Command recently developed a "We Care" app that can be used by victims of sexual assault, someone who witnesses sexual harassment or assault, and those in need of suicide prevention help.

The Cold War is over, but the risk of atomic miscalculation is not.

600-day trip around the world makes us dizzy.

A home in Brentwood, New Hampshire, exploded live on TV as an ABC News helicopter was flying over the area, filming as it was burning.

West Antarctic Ice Sheet had begun its inevitable, unstoppable collapse.

Twitter quietly debuted a handy "mute" feature to silence users without having to unfollow them.

Strange: Casey Kasem's whereabouts are unknown.

Strange:  A Kenny G song is hugely popular in China.

Morrissey has released the first single off his new album, due July 15.

A is for the A-Team, B is for the Brady Bunch and so on.

LINK: Original photo by Sgt. Benjamin Tuck

May 13, 2014 at 7:51am

5 Things To Do Today: Argo chat, Wet art show, Next Goal Wins film, hypnotist and more ...

Meet Mark Lijek this morning.

TUESDAY, MAY 13 2014 >>>

1. It's a true-enough story about something that really happened: Posing as a Canadian filmmaker, a CIA agent got six Americans out of Tehran in 1980 after an angry mob of "students" stormed our embassy and held its occupants hostage for 444 days, a siege that gave us, more or less, the Reagan presidency. Mark Lijek was one of those six hiding in Iran. At 10:30 a.m. in the Garfield Book Company, Lijek will reveal how he and the five other Americans avoided capture, detail their months of hiding and describe the facts of the CIA rescue, which includes more Canadian involvement than portrayed in the film, Argo

2. The exhibition called "Wet" and subtitled "Abstract Expressionism in Fluidity, Movement and Space" at B2 Fine Art is a retrospective of work by Chuck Smart with some works by other well-known artists thrown in - like Yakime Brown, who is beginning to make a splash in New York; Judy Hintz Cox, a regular at B2 who has four excellent paintings in this show. And just for good measure there are a few glass vessels by Dale Chihuly. But Brown, Chihuly and Cox are bonus artists. What this show is really all about is the amazing artwork of Chuck Smart. Read Alec Clayton's full review of "Wet: Abstract Expressionism in Fluidity, Movement and Space" in the Music & Culture section, then check out the show from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

3. Next Goal Wins, a documentary about American Samoa's soccer team and how it became known as the worst soccer team on the planet after compiling a 0-31 record, will screen at 2 and 7 p.m. at The Grand Cinema.

4. Twelve years ago, Jason Padgett was a party-loving jock and a college dropout who'd never made it past pre-algebra. But a violent mugging permanently and profoundly altered the way his brain works, giving him unique gifts. He's now a devoted student and an award-winning artist, hand-drawing the stunning geometric patterns he sees everywhere. His is the first documented case of acquired savant syndrome with mathematical synesthesia. At 7 p.m. inside the Tacoma Public Library Main Branch, Padgett discusses his book, Struck By Genius: How a Brain Injury Made Me a Mathematical Marvel.

5. You are getting sleepy, v-e-r-y sleepy. Now, go see the hypnotist show at 8 p.m. inside the Red Wind Casino. Whether a skeptic or believer, the show will be sure to entertain with its comedy, rock and roll and outrageous hypnosis, like people sneezing and having orgasms(!) when Ron Stubbs, the man behind the magic, utters the word "pepper."

LINK: Tuesday, May 13 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

May 13, 2014 at 10:08am

Eat This Now: Tacos Alambres

Tacos Alambres are on the Matador's fresh sheet. Eat them now. Photo credit: Jackie Fender

Huzzah! It looks like just maybe the sun has joined us in this season we call spring, kicking off the season of al fresco dining in the South Sound. Around these parts al fresco dining season is a very brief and highly coveted era. Few restaurants, save for the waterfront varieties, don't even bother with a patio during these short-lived months. The Matador is different. It is brave (natch!). The optimistic, sexy downtown Tacoma Tex Mex restaurant has its doors open to its patio on Pacific Avenue.

Though the Matador has gained a reputation for tasty margaritas and impressive nachos. Its fresh sheet options always yield big flavor, such as the Tacos Alambres ($13.95). Flour tortillas lay the foundation for ample, tender, marinated chicken breast, ripe avocado, shredded onion and jack cheese. It's all fine, dandy and delicious - but what really makes these tacos a dish to "eat now" - compared to other Mexican shelled food fare - are the crumbles of bacon.

The housemade jalapeño, cilantro crema knocks it out of the park. It's creamy, spicy and flavorful. I'd take a tub full and smother everything in this stuff!

Served up with a side of black beans and Spanish rice, this dish is filling and just plain mouth watering.

Share the nachos and save room for the Tacos Alambres. Add a tamarind margarita and a patio and you're welcome.

THE MATADOR, 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. daily, 21 and older, 721 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.7100

Filed under: Food & Drink, Tacoma,

May 13, 2014 at 11:52am

Beer Here: Walk Tacoma's Brewery District (and drink), Dick's Midnight Ride, beer events ...

Tacoma's former Heidelberg Brewing Co. will be discussed during the Walk Tacoma UWT/Brewery Walk, May 21. Photo credit: Pappi Swarner

Columbia Brewing Co. first occupied the building along the 2100 block of South C Street in 1900. Beer made at the facility gained national attention for its flavor and smooth aftertaste in the early 1920s, prompting the brewery to double in size and increase capacity by the mid-1930s.

Success at the plant received the attention of another brewery, Heidelberg Brewing Co., which purchased the Columbia plant in 1949 and set out for another round of remodeling. The facility was bought yet again a decade later by Carling Brewery, making it the only West Coast holding of the otherwise East Coast beer company.

Fickle beer drinkers began to snub Tacoma's home brew, and the plant closed in 1979. There have been efforts to revive the brewery in the passing years, but the natural spring that bubbles water to the surface on that end of town isn't as mountain pure as it once was.

That's just a snippet of what you'll most likely hear when University of Washington-Tacoma Art and Architecture Professor Julie Nicoletta leads a tour through Tacoma's Brewery District from 5:15 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, May 21. Sponsored by Downtown On the Go, the 1.5-mile Walk Tacoma UWT/Brewery Walk will start at the base of the UWT stairs at South 19th and Pacific Avenue and end at the Harmon Brewery and Eatery for light appetizers and a beer tasting. Then at 8, stop by the corner of South 19th and Jefferson Street as I will lead my own tour talk called, "Bushes I Fell In Between the Heidelberg and The Swiss During the 1990s." OK, I'm kidding about my tour (kind of), but the part about the Brewery Walk is absolutely true.

Nicoletta's tour will highlight the historic Brewery and Warehouse Districts, including locations of old breweries, the Swiss Building, the Streets and Grounds Maintenance Division's Barn, and the development of the Prairie Line Trail along the old Prairie Rail Line. There is no need to pre-register for the event, simply join Downtown On the Go at the meeting spot. 

The Harmon has its T-town Blonde, Chambers Bay Scottish Ale and the new drINK THIS IPA lined up for the tasting.

BEER NEWS

To celebrate its 20th anniversary, Dick's Brewing Company will release a special 20th anniversary beer, Dick's Midnight Ride, July 18. Dick's Midnight Ride is a trip to the dark side. The robust, Northwest-style CDA will burst with Cascade and Centennial hops, perfectly balanced with a rich dark malt profile. Think rich, dark and malty like a porter but with a hop IPA profile. Dick's will throw a 20th anniversary bash at its Centralia home Saturday, Oct. 25.

BEER HERE

Tuesday, May 13-18

American Craft Beer Week - May 12-18 - is more of a Midwest thing. All the Northwest craft breweries are hip wader deep into Seattle Beer Week. Ninkasi Brewing Company, for instance, has 13 events lined up for the 11-day Seattle Beer Week, which ends May 18. A few South Sound beer-centric entities are celebrating the Emerald City beer bath, such as Pint Defiance taproom and beer store with its 26-beer Northwest beer punch card. The RAM Big Horn Brewery is waving the American Craft Beer Week flag, highlighting one of its gold medal winning beers a day, offering an 18-ounce pour for $3.25. The Big Red IPA is on the pedestal today. Tomorrow, its Washington Blonde receives the spotlight, followed by the Disorder Porter and a Hefeweizen salute Friday.

Wednesday, May 14

The ladies of Pike Brewing have developed a beer with some of the proceeds going to Planned Parenthood. Kris Blondin, owner of STINK Cheese and Meat and neighboring STINK Tank wine bar, holds the Pike Brewing crew in high regard. STINK will pour samples of Pike's seasonal Morning After Pale Ale from 5-8 p.m. For every pint sold, Blondin will donate a dollar to Planned Parenthood.

The 10 Barrel Brewing Co. is on the move. The Bend, Ore., brewery is opening a third brewpub in Portland's Pearl District this summer - the other two are in Bend and Boise. The Portland site will include a pub and a brewhouse, which will brew small batch and one-off beers. Speaking of 10 Barrel small batch beers, several will be available May 14 when 10 Barrel visits the Puyallup River Alehouse. The downtown Puyallup house of beers will serve hot dogs, tacos, giveaway prizes and pour a bunch of 10 Barrel beers.

Saturday, May 17

The Bacon and Beer Classic will consume Safeco Field in Seattle May 17. The traveling greasy, hoppy fiesta visits baseball fields around the country, drawing thousands of attendees to sample craft beer and bacon-based dishes from regional restaurants. Adding to that already winning combination will be performances from local bands and cooking demonstrations. Chef Hudson Slater of Maxwell's Restaurant teamed up with the mad scientists at Wingman Brewers to create a Tacoma bacon beer for the Seattle festival - Gratzilla Bacon Smoked Wheat Beer. It's a light, sessionable and smoky wheat beer - and on tap at Wingman, too. By the way, Wingman is now open 2-9 p.m. every Sunday.

Top Rung Brewing Company in Lacey gives nod to the American Craft Beer Week with a tour of its brewery beginning at 3 p.m.

St. Patrick's Day celebrations aren't easy. You must practice to prepare yourself for the zaniness that goes down every March 17. Doyle's Public House knows this. That's why they host monthly St. Practice Day parties, of which happens Saturday. The party begins with Doyle's Guinness Club toast at 5:17 p.m. All the members gather before Grand Poobah Russ Heaton, who recognizes members who have hit milestones, such as 500 pints of Guinness, while the other members tear up. After the announcement, Heaton raises a glass of the Irish Mother's Milk and toasts the members. At 5:25 p.m., some will board a bus for the Sounders game. Those who stay behind will work on their membership goals, until funky Afrobeat band Rippin Chicken bumps them silly at 9:30 p.m.

>>> Doyle's Public House lines them up Saturday at 5:17 p.m.

May 13, 2014 at 12:17pm

Seahawks fans White River Distillers to launch 12 Spirits line in June

White River Distillers' 12 Spirits logo, designed by SignDog Media in Puyallup

Get ready Seahawks fans. Not only did Seattle make some smart draft selections and re-sign a lot of fan favorites to the roster, but devoted 12th Man followers are about to get a taste of something even cooler - 12 Spirits, a line of alcohol branded with passionate fans and the Super Bowl champs in mind.

As the tagline implies, "Loud and Proud, created for 12's by 12's," the brand was indeed created by football fans donned in blue and green. The 12 Spirits line, which will include vodka, gin and whiskey.

"We are big football fans and we thought what if we did something specific to our region it would be cool," explained Brian Fulker of White River Distillers in Enumclaw, which is creating the 12 Spirits offerings.

Fulker founded White River Distillers with his college buddy, Tyler Teeple, with whom he shared a love of whiskey, and their third partner, Jon Thomas (JT), who was also becoming enthralled with the distilling process.

"Our line of 12 Spirits, our sports line, will be launched first and then we plan to move onto our flavored moonshines - based on a family recipe from Fulker's relatives in Tennessee - and some other high-end, top shelf whiskey, vodka and gin, which will be branded under ‘Rockin' 25'," Fulker said.  

The logo, which was created by Puyallup-based SignDog Media, features a large, embossed "12" with Richter scale-like lines coming from it to sketch out Space Needles.

"We are delivering the full package, from a great theme to a quality product," said Donnie Juntunen of SignDog. "We want to be the first ones out there with this sort of product."

Bottles are expected to be in hand sometime between June 9 and 15, but if you stay tuned to facebook.com/volume12spirits, twitter.com/twelvespirits and instagram.com/12spirits you'll know exactly when and where to get your first bottle of 12, in more than enough time for pre-season.

Filed under: Food & Drink, Sports,

May 13, 2014 at 3:36pm

Nerd Alert! - Godzilla and the Gathering of the Juggalos

Commandos plunge toward what looks like a profile map of a Tour de France stage.

Godzilla: Opens Friday, May 16

Every generation suffers through trial and tribulations. War, famine, economic collapse - for people of a certain generation, one injustice still stings to this very day. We all remember well where we were, sitting in a cool theater in the summer of 1998, as a chilling realization washed over us, taking with it our innocence and faith in the universe: "Oh my god," we thought, "this Godzilla remake is awful."

Understandably, Roland Emmerich's Godzilla is still a sore spot for many dewy-eyed nerds. Its transgressions are innumerable, but here's a brief recap: fat, slovenly mayor named "Ebert," as a not-so-subtle jab; the big lizard herself revealed to be an overgrown iguana, and her babies to be blatant ripoffs of Jurassic Park's raptors; Matthew Broderick firmly establishing the nebbishy loser character that would then rule his career; thin characters stretched to the breaking point on the wings of woeful slapstick.

No one would blame you for being wary at the prospect of another American take on Godzilla, but the pedigree with this one is outstanding. Director Gareth Edwards is most well known for Monsters, his understated, ground-level take on the genre picture, and his Godzilla features a stunning cast (Bryan Cranston, Ken Watanabe, and David Strathairn, to name three). That ominous first trailer with its triumphant SKREEEONK was enough to get anyone's blood pumped.

Nothing can erase the damage caused by the shameful Iguanazilla, but here's hoping this is a step in the right direction.

Gathering of the Juggalos

Speaking of getting your blood pumped, I know we all got a charge when a certain fake news site reported that the Gathering of the Juggalos would find its new home at the Kitsap County Fairgrounds. Sadly, it was not meant to be.

However, the commercial for 2014's Gathering just premiered, and it's everything you'd hope for from this utterly unique cultural phenomenon. For anyone not familiar with the Insane Clown Posse's official festival for all things clown and shameful, the Gathering of the Juggalos is mostly what it sounds like: neck-bearded ladies and gentlemen paint their faces and convene in the middle of nowhere for a terrifying week of low-culture, mostly culled from the late '80s and early '90s.

The ICP's cult of personality is rich enough to justify the hundreds of thousands of digital ink that has been spilled on it. What Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J have managed to do is, frankly, impressive. They've created a religion based on the very specific things that they happen to be into - old school rap, wrestling, and hacky comedy, to be specific - and have convinced a staggering number of people to be into it as well.

The lineup for this year's Gathering features regulars like Kottonmouth Kings and Cannibal Corpse, as well as requisite left-field head-scratchers like Gilbert Gottfried and Mick Foley - both of whom, frankly, are way too good for this.

Where will you be when the Gathering goes down? As far away as possible? Me, too.

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