SUZY STUMP: FOR THOSE ABOUT TO REVEL, WE SALUTE YOU >>>

What do you get when you cross an opera with a circus?  Puget Sound Revels' colorful, zany staged production and a great way for all ages to celebrate Christmas past and present. 

The Christmas Revels - 60 to 90 adults and children strong - will explore, um, you figure it out (from their Web site):

"This year's Christmas Revels in Tacoma plays with the enduring character of the fool. Culture to culture, community to community into the distant past, the Fool has played a part in people's understanding of the deep nature of things. This year three traveling fools from "the mysterious east" arrive in a European village - late medieval/early Renaissance. The mysterious strangers bring with them music, foolery and fable. Cosmic excitement ensues as they become unlikely guardians of the Sun, Moon and Stars. Their Moorish and Sephardic songs and stories reflect the rich cultural influences of the Ottoman Empire in the early years of Europe's blossoming Renaissance."

It sells out quick. Call now. Operators are standing by.

[Rialto Theater, Saturday, Dec. 12 2 and 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, Dec. 13 1 and 5:30 p.m.; Tuesday, Dec. 15 and Wednesday, Dec. 16 7:30 p.m., $11-$26.50, 310 S. Ninth St., Tacoma, 253.591.5894]

MICHAEL SWAN: IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE … >>>>

The holidays can be hell. I suggest you set one goal for each day leading up to your holiday of choice, and stick to it. Trying to buy Nana a Clapper and little cousin Latisha a collectors' edition Beanie Baby might be feasible in one day, but not if you also try to whip up four batches of divinity fudge and volunteer to lead dreidel-spinning at the local library children's hour. You can't do everything Martha Stewart does in her holiday special, and neither can she, so get over it.

Today, buy your Christmas tree â€" in Tollefson Plaza!

Yup, it’s true. Two Five Trees is open for business in Tollefson Plaza.

Read up on it on the Two Five Trees blog here.

MICHAEL SWAN: TAKING THE DAY OFF >>>

Barring any new dogs drinking beer photos, we're going to use the holiday as an excuse to take a rare day off. So, please people, for our sake, perform naked on top of Hell’s Kitchen, open a new restaurant and do funny things in the middle of Tollefson Plaza after Thanksgiving.

And we totally want photos of your family’s fight to the death over who has the damn Tupperware. We know every year someone brings Tupperware to collect leftovers and every freakin’ year it disappears.

We'll see you all back here on tomorrow and remember: Baste often.

LINK: Movie times

MICHAEL "STANDISH" SWAN: THURSDAY, NOV. 26, 2009 >>>

1. Centre at Norpoint hosts a Turkey Trot featuring a 5K run, 2-mile walk, a kid's dash (ages 3-8) and a wheelchair division beginning at 9 a.m.

2. Fantasy Lights - the largest drive-through display of lights in the Northwest - opens tonight, 5:30-9 p.m., at Spanaway Park.

3. Gay-friendly Jake's On 4th in Olympia hosts a Thanksgiving DJ Spin-Off with DJ Becca and a Super-Secret Seattle Guest DJ at 8 p.m.

4. DJ Luvva J spins at Jezebels Bar & Grill during "YES" night beginning at 9 p.m.

5. Muckleshoot Casino in Auburn hosts ShoTyme at 8:30 p.m.

SUZY STUMP: YULE BOUTIQUE THIS SATURDAY>>>

Even if you don't personally celebrate a single holiday in winter - even if you say Hanukkah schmanukah and bah humbug in the same breath as you tell the Kwanzaa candle lighters what they can do with their ujamaa - it's still cold and wet outside, and we know somewhere in your desiccated non-denominational soul there is a desire to share something with others in this dark season. Something merry. Perhaps even bright.

Yes, well, festivity doesn't get any more vague than the description for the Yule Boutique: "The Yule Boutique, sponsored by the PLU Women's Association, is a holiday bazaar featuring quality arts and crafts and a variety of food vendors." There's also a Nordic Sweater Exchange (11 a.m. to 1 p.m.) that allows you to sell or exchange "gently-used" Nordic clothing. Those who have been before know it's a feakin' festivus of holidayness.

All are welcome Saturday, Nov. 21 at Pacific Lutheran University's Olson auditorium. Happy mid-November.

[Pacific Lutheran University Olson Auditorium, Saturday, Nov. 21, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., $3, 10th Avenue South and 124th Street South, Parkland/Tacoma, 253.531. 7581]

MICHAEL SWAN: WEDNESDAY, OCT. 21, 2009 >>>

Sleeve facing - the international trend in which a person covers a part of their body with a record sleeve and takes a photo - will be taught in the Olympic Room at the Tacoma Public Library Main Branch from 4-6 p.m.

2. The Tacoma Dome opens its doors at 10 a.m. so you can buy It's Beginning to Smell a Lot Like Christmas Tree fragrance at the Tacoma Holiday Food & Gift Festival.

3. Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill in Spanaway hosts "Harmonica Dave" aka David Brian Erwin at 7 p.m.

4. Maia Santell & House Blend perform before dancers at Studio 6 Ballroom from 8-11 p.m.

5. It's Masa's College Night with "Your Girlfriend's Favorite DJ" spinning at 9 p.m.

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

LINK: Local movie starting times

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

Spew is taking the rest of the day off since everybody knows reading on July 4 is unpatriotic.

Happy Fourth of July!

Catch you tomorrow.

WEEKLY VOLCANO: TIME TO HIT A DECK >>>

The Weekly Volcano's offices are closed today in honor of the Fourth of July. So instead of blogging this afternoon, the Spew staff will be honoring the work ethic that's made this country great by doing absolutely nothing productive. Until then, don't follow the example of the clowns in the clip below and do something moronic with fireworks.