DINING NEWS, NIBBLES AND BITS >>>

Opening Today: A new wine bar called Pastiche will open today at 11 a.m. in the second half of the former Il Fiasco space (Beyond the Bridge Café occupies the left side). The owners bring 20 years of wine experience with them to the 2715 Sixth Ave. spot. Today's menu will be limited, but tapas for lunch and dinner will be served soon. Also a pianist playing contemporary music will be in the house today.

This Weekend: Primo Grill is serving pan seared duck scaloppini, braised beef short ribs, fresh halibut, grilled mahi mahi and McCrea winery Temranillo as specials this weekend. Just saying.

Taking Out The Turkey: Local chefs and artists offer tips on vegetarian and non-traditional Thanksgiving dishes.

Future Things Are Coming: Enjoy Thanksgiving dinner in a South Sound restaurant. We have suggestions here and here.

Food Matters: No one trusts men with food. It's science!

LINK: Wine tastings today

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

CAN'T STAND THE HEAT? >>>

Let's be honest. Not everyone likes to cook on Thanksgiving. There are also some who haven't mastered making a turkey or who just don't want to entertain a houseful of starving guests. For these reasons and more, a select group of restaurants will open for a limited time on Thanksgiving to provide you and your would-be guests with a place to have some turkey and cranberries ... and sometimes more.

In addition to being open from noon to 6 p.m., Knapp's Restaurant, located at 2707 N. Proctor St. in Tacoma, will also offer take-out on Thanksgiving Day. The prix-fixe menu includes rotisserie-cooked turkey or honey-baked ham, as well as traditional sides and pumpkin pie. Prices are $17.95 for adults and $9.95 for children age 12 and younger. Reservations are suggested, but walk-ins are welcome. Call 253.759.9009.

The Lobster Shops at Dash Point (6912 Soundview Drive N.E.) and Commencement Bay (4015 Ruston Way) will be open from noon until 6 p.m. In addition to its regular entrees selection, there will be a turkey dinner special priced at $23.95 for adults and $9.95 for kids age 6 to 12, plus tax and gratuity. Salads, side dishes and desserts are not included. Reservations are required; call 253.927.1513 for Dash Point or 253.759.2165 for Commencement Bay.

The Ram Restaurant and Brewery in Tacoma (3001 Ruston Way, 253.756.7886) and Lakewood (10019 59th Ave. SW., 253.584.3191) will both be open from noon until 8 p.m. Diners can choose from the regular menu offerings as well as a turkey dinner and trimmings plate, offered at $15.99 for adults and $6.99 children age 12 and younger, plus tax. Reservations are not required.

For those with base access, The McChord Field Club will serve a Thanksgiving spread from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Cost is $18.95 for adults, $17.95 for seniors, $9.95 for children age 6 to 10 and $4.50 for children 5 and younger. Add $2 to each price if not a club member. Reservations are required up to 24 hours ahead of time.  Call 253.982.5581.

The Oyster House, located at 320 4th Avenue West in Olympia, is offering a traditional Thanksgiving buffet from noon to 6 p.m. Prices start at $25.99 for adults, $21.99 for seniors, $14.99 for children age 6 to 12 and $8.99 for children age 5 and younger. Reservations are available (for groups of all sizes) on the hour; call 360.753.7000.

The Falls Terrace restaurant in Tumwater, located at 106 Deschutes Way, will also be open from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. There will be seven choices for dinner, including a turkey dinner for $18 and prime rib for $25. Reservations are recommended. Call 360.943.7830.

What other restaurants are serving Thanksgiving meals?

LINK: Turkey Day out, part one

SATURDAY, NOV. 13, 2010 >>>

1. When we walked into a department store last week and saw faux pine swags dotted with ornaments suspending from the ceiling we almost heaved. Even for a retailer trying to prime the holiday pump it seemed a tad early. There's no escaping the onslaught of seasonal festivities and buying opportunities. Should you want to dive right into the fray (and, in so doing, be able to avoid the mall entirely for the next two months) head over to the Holiday Craft Fair, a weekend-long crafts extravaganza, at Spanaway Lake High School. Today from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. you will be able to wallow in stinky potpourri, scoop up armfuls of sparkly things you don't really need, and buy several jars of exotic holiday jams that no one will eat. But, hey, it's the thought that counts.

2. Walking back into history is an ongoing act of the local historical groups as they try to bring history alive by re-enacting life as it was when the area was raw and untamed.  From 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. walk back into history with the Steilacoom Historical Museum Association inside the Pioneer Orr Home in downtown Steilacoom. Walk into the world of 1857, with the Indian Wars over and the rising tide of settlers flooding into the area. Joe Lawson and his team from Hamilton Auction will appraise general items from 12:30-2:30 p.m. And the Bair Bistro at the corner of Wilkes and Lafayette will be accepting reservations for afternoon tea

3. OK, you are now officially entering the month of November. No more waffling around. It's time to resign yourself - The holidays are on their way. All those people you talk to once every three months are now expecting to see you for an extended period of time. Maybe even multiple days. And they'll want to talk to you, make conversation.  They'll want to know how your life is going.  Uh-oh.  Better prepare yourself now. You need conversation topics. Sixteen local authors will be hanging out at Freighthouse Square from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Go, listen to them read, buy their books, have them sign them. Soak up their insights. Then go home and refuse to speak to any blood relations until it's time to open the presents. 

4. The Northwest Sinfonietta will go Gypsy jazz on your ass tonight and tomorrow. They'll performs a new Django Reinhardt-inspired composition by director Christophe Chagnard for three jazz guitars and orchestra at 7:30 p;m. tonight at the Rialto Theater and 2 p.m. at the Pioneer Park Pavilion in Puyallup. They'll also go old school with Shostakovich's Piano Concerto no. 1 with Mark Salman and Mahler's 5th Symphony Adagietto.

5. Jazz vocalist Dennis Hastings will join master pianist Joe Baque and basses Steve Luceno at Cicada Restaurant for a memorable evening of Jazz and popular tunes beginning at 8 p.m.

LINK: Empty Bowls is in our Prefunk

LINK: Rocket Races, Tellabration and Furniture Series dance in our Weekend Hustle

LINK: Concerts go on sale today

LINK: A bunch of wine tastings

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

DINING NEWS, NIBBLES AND BITS >>>

Sure, you don't mind the way Uncle Fred unsnaps his trousers after dinner and then calls attention to it with that special moan. No, you don't mind sitting next to Auntie Mime who wear's grandma's grandfather's step-daughter's wigs and tugs on your ear every time you utter a word. Fine, you'll pull your grandpa's finger. But here's the thing: why? Grab your immediate family and head to a restaurant this Thanksgiving:

Stanley & Seafort's: Besides a traditional turkey dinner with housemade trimmings ($25), the Tacoma restaurant will serve Chili-Smoked Tiger Prawns, Filet Mignon Wellington, Herb-crusted Prime Rib, pumpkin pie and much more on Thanksgiving day. Reserve your spot at 253.473.7300.

Thanksgiving Buffet: Rub shoulders with your fellow man on Thanksgiving Day with in C.I. Shenanigans' buffet line. Discuss the Pilgrims or the morning football game while dishing up chilled poached prawns, steamer clams, alder smoked slamon, veges, salads, fruits, pumpkin and pecan pie, and, of course, turkey, ham and roast beef from 11 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. The cost is $4.99-$28.99 based on your age. Reserve your spot at 253.752.8811.

Untraditional Thanksgiving: Babblin' Babs Bistro hosts a five-course Thanksgiving dinner - skipping the turkey for pork loin steak, Alaskan cod, stuffed ancho chile and more - from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Nov. 25. The cost is $55. Reserve your spot at 253.761.9099.

Pacific Grill: The downtown Tacoma fine-dining establishment will serve a four-course prix-fixe Thanksgiving Day dinner from 2-7 p.m. The $34.95 dinner ($15.95 from children 12 and younger) will include Roast Prime Rib, Shellfish Chowder, Thanksgiving Dinner Plate, Loaded Baked Potato and much more. See the full menu here. Make your reservation at 253.627.3535.

Thanksgiving To Go: Salty's at Redondo Executive Chef Gabriel Cabrera is cooking Thanksgiving To Go. Your order needs to be by Wednesday, Nov. 17. Click here for the menu. For more details, call 253.336.6533.

What other South Sound restaurants are serving Thanksgiving Day dinners?

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Mostly cloudy with a shower, hi 56, lo 44

Saturday: Mostly cloudy with a little rain, hi 57, lo 52

Sunday: Mutha fuckin' rain, hi 52, lo 39

>>> FRIDAY, NOV. 5: DANCE OLY DANCE

It's the first Friday of the month and that means only one thing: Dance Oly Dance. Head on over to TCTV Studio A on Olympia's Westside and dance to Hannah Montana, Black Flag, La Roux, Major Lazer, B-52's, Q-Tex, 7 Seconds, Hollywood Kill Krew and other local and national songs – on TV! As always, DJ PhilosoBitch spins the groove.

• TCTV Studio A, 8-9 p.m., 440 Yauger Way SW, Suite C, Olympia

>>> SATURDAY, NOV. 6-SUNDAY, NOV. 7: ART AT WORK TACOMA STUDIO TOURS

Some people just make you curious. You want to see how their minds work, what their thought processes are. You want to go through their stuff. Now's your chance. Tacoma Studio Tours - part of the bitchin' cool Tacoma Art at Work month - offers you the chance to see where artists (some of the most fascinating people among us, and with the most interesting stuff) work, as well as how they work. See how Amy Reeves works her metal magic, or what RR Anderson has in his Holistic Forge Works museum. It's a nosy, artistically inclined person's dream!

• Greater Tacoma area (click here for map), 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., free, more information here

>>> SUNDAY, NOV. 7: DIA DE LOS MUERTOS COMMUNITY FESTIVAL

It may seem weird that in Mexico, bus drivers decorate their buses with skeletons or that children feast on skull-shaped candies at funerals. Mexicans aren't death-obsessed, but as the Web site Mexico OnLine (explains, "[T]hey recognize it, mock it, even defy it. Death is part of life and, as such, it's representative of the Mexican spirit and tradition which says, 'Don't take anything lying down-even death!'"

The holiday was Nov. 2, but the Tacoma Art Museum is bringing it back to life with a Dia de los Muertos community festival Sunday. Kiddies (and the young at heart) will love sugar skull decorating, mask-making, live music, traditional foods, the tapete and checking out more than a dozen altars created by community members. Everyone can celebrate the cost - it's all free.

• Tacoma Art Museum, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., then car parade to Centro Latino, free, 1701 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.4258

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

MATT DRISCOLL Editor and Self-made Hundredaire
I'll be dropping by the Northwest Convergence Zone podcast Sunday for my monthly visit with Darrell and the gang. I got real high a few months back and dreamed up this alt-sport/entertainment column - Cup Check. Amazingly it managed to come to fruition, as you may have noticed online or in the classified section of the print Volcano. Now I go on the Convergence Zone once a month and pimp the thing, which typically results in some pretty entertaining podcast fun.

STEPH DEROSA: COLUMNIST
Since I'm feeling a little generous (or a little drunk), I plan on giving you a peek into not only my weekend plans -  but through next week's plans as well.  Today I leave for Westport with Mr. DeRosa, Kris Blondin, and her significant other, Chilly D.  Returning Sunday evening after enjoying copious amounts of fresh seafood, smelly cheese, evening clam digs, horrible dancing, sand in the buttcrack, and red wine, I plan on laying low Monday and Tuesday only to revisit DeRosa Manor pt. Deux in Westport for the remainder of the week.  Oh, and sometime in there I'm going to watch the movie Halloween because I've never seen it.  I'm also going to start calling Kris Blondin "Kriserilla".  Let's see if I can get it to catch on.

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Features Wirter
Another weekend spent at the New Frontier. Tonight, I'll be catching a couple of my favorite local bands, the Makeup Monsters and Humble Cub. Tomorrow, of course, it'll be a full night of garage rock for Sonic Shakedown, with proceeds going to the American Diabetes Association.

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
Tonight, I'm busting ass at the bar, Saturday, I'm making bacon potato chowder and eating as much of it as possible, sopping up the bottom of the bowl with sourdough rolls, and Sunday I'm watching cartoons and sleeping. There you have it folks, my fabulous weekend plans.

JOE IZENMAN Music/Theater Critic
While I'm busily watching The Hangover on DVD and recent release Due Date in a theater somewhere, I shall devote equal time convincing people that if they REALLY want to see Zack Galifianakis being awesome, they should go to The Grand Cinema for It's Kind Of A Funny Story. Do it. Really.

KRIS BLONDIN Food/Wine Writer
Hangin' in Westport with the DeRosa gang ALL weekend. Razor clam diggin', food, booze, and oh, so much leftover Halloween candy. You don't even know.  

JENNIFER JOHNSON: Lifestyle/Leisure Writer
I'm headed to the Sanford and Son grand opening party for "Get Well Tacoma" tonight at 7 p.m. after 6 p.m. yoga at Serenity on St. Helens. Saturday, I'll pick apples in Nisqually, check out "New Collection Event," head to Gig Harbor for tasty-as-heck teppanyaki, drop by La Fondita for some karaoke fun and swing in to Tempest to hear some smooth grooves. Sunday, I'm off to the Dia de los Muertos celebration at TAM followed by church dinner and fireside.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
I'm seeing How I Learned to Drive (Prodigal Sun Productions) and Cradle Will Rock (UPS), plus helping my sister and brother-in-law celebrate the grand re-opening of their barbecue restaurant, Smoking Mo's, in Union. Smoked meat for everyone!

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Correspondent
It is a kiddo weekend for this single dad: Fall Youth Theatre performances at Lakewood Playhouse. Sunday, it's off to the Suffrage Centennial Tea inside the State Capital Museum. This historic event will come alive at the reenactment of a Pink Tea, which were held as fronts for suffrage activities in the early 1900s.

ALEC CLAYTON: Visual Arts Critic
 Going to see How I Learned to Drive at the Midnight Sun in Olympia. 

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

MONDAY, NOV. 1, 2010 >>>

1. Are you looking for a place to satisfy your unquenchable desire to dance? Check out the open adult ballet class at 7:15 p.m. inside the Urban Grace Church. It's pay what you can. It's also dance what you can.

2. Halloween is dead. People are now dragging out the Christmas lights and hanging mistletoe. Rehashings of Christmas standards by the likes of Mathis, Streisand, Jerry Vale - even that damn "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" - will soon fill ever second of our lives. Don't fight it. The Northwest Repertory Singers will rehearse their Christmas concert at 7 p.m. inside the Mason United Methodist Church. Surely, these songs will make us see the error of our Scrooge-y ways! At the very least, it will drive us to the same point of insanity, where it's always 1955 and sugarplums not only dance, but hold 9-to-5 jobs and vote (Republican, natch).

3. Folk music rules at the Mandolin Café tonight. First Garret Gue fills the Tacoma cafe with progressive folk from 7-8 p.m. Then, Pete Mason follows with a little more down-tempo at 8 p.m.

4. The Greta Jane Quartet will fill the Royal Lounge in Olympia with jazz beginning at 8 p.m.

5. DJ Jason Diamond spins roots reggae during Rebel Monday/Industry Night at O'Malley's Irish Pub beginning at 9 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

1. In a year that marks their 20th, Harlequin Productions will throw a "Haunted Halloween Wild West Cabaret Auction" tonight, and, yes, the price of admission includes an open bar. What's a Haunted Halloween Wild West Cabaret and Auction, you ask? Well, it's billed as a "fun-raiser," and in addition to said open bar it'll feature lots of great food and wine, a costume contest and the cast of the current Harlequin production of Taming of the Shrew belting it out cabaret-style in a spectacle the likes of which you've probably never seen before. It costs $100 to get in, but just think about how much fancy booze you can down at an open bar on Halloween if you put your mind to it.

2. It's Halloween! It's movie night at the Brotherhood in Oly. And guess what? Carrie is on tap. Does it get any better? Classic in so many ways. Starts at 7 p.m.

3. As noted earlier, it's Halloween. If you've got kids, this means you probably need to find someplace to take them trick-or-treating. This being the case, and putting what you learned as a kid to good use, go where the money is. Rich people equal bigger candy bars. Start at the annual Proctor Treats Halloween celebration from 4- 6 p.m. if you've got little ones - where the roads (or a road) in the historic Proctor District will literally be shut down for the sake of encouraging trick-or-treaters - and go from there. There's a bounty to be had.

4. London, England 1888: We all know Bram Stoker's classic Dracula by beating heart, but that's just the launch pad for Don Nigro's sexy adaptation. In The Transylvanian Clockworks, produced by the Outfit Theatre Project in conjunction with Tacoma Little Theatre, a certain medically-trained gentleman of homicidal intent enters the picture. What better time to see the show than Halloween? The show starts at 7:30 p.m.

5. Faster Pussycat is at Hell's Kitchen tonight. Yes, that Faster Pussycat.

The rain is whipping down. It's like the inside of a carwash out there, so you and your date decide to keep it inside for the night. You could watch It's the great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown for the 22^nd time, but I suggest you snuggle up on the couch with a Halloween classic that features a lot more blood, ripping out of intestinal tracks, and maiming of unnecessarily nude bodies.

In my opinion, you haven't properly celebrated Halloween until you've watched an over-the-top, badly-acted, terribly-scripted, cheaply-made horror flick. I've made it a yearly tradition, and I think you'd be the wiser to do so as well. Here's a countdown of my all-time favorites:

5. Zombie Strippers (2008)

This film's fantastically stupid plot begins when a governmental experiment goes awry and a deadly virus is unleashed. The virus infects the town's local strippers turning them into zombies (Now the title makes sense!). Jenna Jameson stars as the brainy leader of the bunch. (Out of all the films starring Jameson, I'm pretty sure this is the only one where you'll see her reading Nietzsche.) Oh yeah, and there's a ping-pong scene that's about as classy--and frightening-- as a Tijuana donkey show.

4. Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)

The film features alien clowns that arrive in a circus tent spaceship. They attack earthlings with cream pies and wrap them in cotton candy cocoons that turn their victims into Jell-O. Need I say more?

3. Street Trash (1987)

Want to see a cop purposefully puking on a mafia hit-man, junkyard bums playing hot-potato with a man's severed penis, along with necrophilia, gang-rape, exploding hobos and other general offensiveness? This one's for you.

2. I Drink Your Blood (1970)

This was the first film to be rated X by the MPAA based solely on violence. This is probably because of the nude Satan worshiping, the rabies-infected zombies, the senior citizens force-fed acid, and the aggravated assault of pregnant women.

1. Idle Hands (1999)

This film, starring Devon Sawa and Seth Green, tells the tale of an ultra-lazy pothead whose right hand becomes possessed by Satan (best plot-line ever!). Before he knows it, his right hand is out of control, causing him to do some pretty bad things, such as brutally murdering his family and friends.

This movie wins for most creative death scenes.

SATURDAY, OCT. 30, 2010 >>>

1. What does a costume party on South Tacoma Way look like? You'll want to check out Stonegate Pizza tonight to find out. Frequent bill companions Big Wheel Stunt Show, Brotherhood of the Black Squirrel, SweetKiss Momma and Vile Red Falcons will be rocking the crap out of Stonegate's Halloween themed Saturday night extravaganza. In addition to the rock - served classic and searing - expect a hotly contested costume contest with a $200 "Best Costume" prize. We'll be going dressed as the men of "The Men of Puyallup" beefcake calendar. Wait?! What? SweetKiss Momma beat us to it? Crap.

2. With all of us Generation X and Y-ers who used to listen to Offspring now having offspring, it's important that we have an alternative to the usual Barney or Bob the Builder ditties. Good thing there's Caspar Babypants. Caspar Babypants is fun. Caspar Babypants rocks. And Caspar Babypants is Chris Ballew, co-founder of the Presidents of the United States of America. He's in Oly today, playing Wind Up Here Toy Store at 11 a.m. and the Loft on Cherry at 4:30 p.m.

3. Find out if all that old stuff your grandma left you when she died on that whitewater rafting trip is worth anything. Or just drink wine. It's the Tacoma Community House Antique Craft and Wine Fest tonight.

4. Honestly, if you're in Oly, you know what to do. It's Night of the Living Tribute Bands. L7, Heart, Pat Benetar - the list is incredible as usual. There's a reason this thing's an Olympia institution. Check into the Capitol Theater at 8 p.m.

5. We let the Rev. Adam McKinney write a blurb about Dead Man's Feast tonight at The New Frontier. Turns out he knows nothing about electronic music. In fact, it turns out none of us do. Except maybe Jason Baxter, because that guys just kind of a show off. Anyway, luckily the always-astute Tacoma icon Laura Eklund showed up in the comment section of Adam's blurb to set the record straight. We have no idea what she's talking about, but she's surely correct. To quote:

FYI: Dub Step, Drum and Bass, Folk Glitch and House are all different types/styles of techno music. As far as I know none of the DJ's playing at Deadman's Feast will be spinning House music. So if you're really into House or Side Trance or Speed Garage you might be disappointed because you won't be hearing any of that. There will be some awesome Folk Glitch, Dub Step and Drum and Bass though.

Thanks, Laura!

Got that, everyone? Good. New Frontier tonight, people.

LINK: More good stuff in the Weekend Hustle

LINK: Check The Prefunk for the scoop on the BroHo's Halloween Bash tonight

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

BRING ON THE WEEKEND>>>

Boo! It's Halloween. Or basically Halloween. Or whatever. The time has come for grownups to dress up in all sorts of bizarre and uncalled for costumes (my favorite so far is the slutty Chilean miner), and drink crazy amounts of Jagermeister in a pagan-like ritual the likes of which are seen but once a year.

Or something. Or whatever.

Anyway, the time has also come for The Prefunk, a weekly weekend primer for you AND your liver (with an added picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure).

The Brotherhood's Halloween Ball

Saturday, Oct. 30

There are a lot of places you can get tanked on Halloween, or the night before Halloween for that matter. Your apartment. A friend's house. Your stepdad's basement. Work.

But few of those places will leave you with satisfaction that getting drunk at the Brotherhood in Olympia will Saturday night.

Not only is the Brotherhood on the short list of top places to drink and hangout in Oly, but Saturday it's also the place to find, without a shadow of a doubt, the best Halloween Ball in town.

And the kicker is 50 percent of proceeds from the night will go to SafePlace, a domestic violence advocacy group that deserves all the help it can get.

Basically, it's a win-win-win-win. And there's probably another win in there somewhere. You really can't go wrong.

DJ MSG will be in the house, and costumes are strongly suggested. The Weekly Volcano's Nikki Talotta, as noted in "The Weekend Hustle," will be behind the bar dressed as a Slutty Guitar. So look for that. It all kicks off at 9 p.m.

PREFUNK: Now is the time to finally unveil your Cornel West costume. Put the finishing touches on it (do you have a pocket watch yet?) and go forth and celebrate!