WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Tonight: Tacoma City Council set to vote on the proposal to 1) ban blightful digital billboards from the City of Tacoma, 2) require the removal of non-conforming static billboards by March 1, 2011 (Tacoma Urbanist)

High-ho, The Derry-o: Lakewood takes a stand on pot farms. (News Tribune)

Now What?: Time to buy gold and run for the hills. (Reuters)

Riots: This is really fucking up their Olympics image (New York Times)

Wow: Frances Bean Cobain is all grown up. (Stereogum)

Can't wait: On the set of Mad Men. (Inside TV)

MAKE MONEY OFF YOUR JUNK >>>

Happy pigs and human heads carved from coconuts. T-shirts, coffee mugs, salt and pepper shakers, trays, bells and toothpick holders stenciled with Florida iconography. One person's tacky is another's kitsch at Lakewood's community garage sale Junk in the Trunk, where people stuff their automobiles with, er, stuff they want to sell. I'll list more items you might find at Junk in the Trunk: metal frames bordered with leaping dolphins, necklaces, nightlights made from mollusks' shiny homes.

Even if you don't buy any of the crap they're hawking, it's worth a visit for people-watching purposes alone. And if you happen to be looking for old lamps, cheap socks or worn-down appliances, all the better.

Junk in the Trunk

Saturday, Aug. 6, 9 a.m., free
8 a.m. for those wanting to sell, $10 fee
Lakewood City Hall, 6000 Main St. SW, Lakewood
253.983.7887

THE WEEK'S FREEBIES JULY 18-25 >>>

If legendary cowboy Shane were in the South Sound for the week, he might ride along the Puyallup river, past Eric Anderson's moving van, past the ships docked along Schuster Parkway, around the sewer work at the closed Puget Gulch, then hitch his horse outside the future site of the Tacoma Food Co-Op, jump on the phone and help the Co-Op reach its fundraising goal. He would end his night at neighboring The Red Hot with a spirited game of Dominos, and then fall happily asleep next to the outdoor fireplace at Hotel Murano. He would wake up naturally the next day at sunrise, and do it all over again, adding a stack of flapjacks from Old Milwaukee Cafe and the free events listed below to his routine.

MONDAY 7-18: The week starts off on a wild note when the Tacoma Cult Movie Club presents a night of films centered around the theme: "He's A Very Naughty Boy - You Might Want To Give This Bad Boy A Spanking" beginning at 7 p.m. inside The Acme Grub Cage. We have no idea what that means, but we're sure Shane would side with TCMC co-producers Rev. Colin and Mat Hat Tobin.

TUESDAY 7-19: Shane might head toward American Lake Park for the rootin'-tootin'-est Lakewood's Brightest Star local talent competition finals at 6:30 p.m. Shane would do what comes natural, shooting his guns in the air after every song. No one in the crowd would flinch. 

WEDNESDAY 7-20: Shane's personal repression and remorse could surface if he attended Author Chellis Swenson Jensen reading of her book, Meet Mrs. Annathena Gilly Gully From Puddle Rumple Tilly Willy, at 10:30 a.m. inside the Garfield Book Company in Parkland. Afterward, all the kids would yell "Shane, come back!" but only because the cowboy stole their temporary tattoo stickers. Also Wednesday, Abby Road Live Beatles tribute band at Pioneer Park in Steilacoom from 6:30-8:30 p.m.

THURSDAY 7-21: Shane would have to push his horse Thursday. Naturally, Shane would attend the screening of archival films showing Schafer Brothers Logging Company operations in the 1920s at 7 p.m. inside the bitchin' new University Place Library. Shane would irritate the crowd with his mouth harp. Next, he'd gallop toward Tollefson Plaza before the 8:30 p.m. showing of this year's "Best of The Grand's 72 Hour Film Competition" on a giant outdoor screen. Afterward, he'd discover sake at neighboring TWOKOI Japanese Restaurant and spent the rest of the night on guard at the base of the 20-foot high welcome figure.

FRIDAY 7-22: The man, the myth, the legend, would probably make an appearance at the free outdoor screening of Shane at Donkey Creek Park in Gig Harbor at 9 p.m. No doubt Shane would be forced to spend the night in a Gig Harbor slammer because of his inability to deal rationally with the Good To Go system.

SATURDAY 7-23: At 2 p.m. Shane would rope his horse in front of King's Books for Gudrun Aurand's class on repairing torn paper. Fascinated with King's owner sweet pea's outfit of the day, the two probably would become close friends baking muffins into the wee hours. Also Saturday, Tacoma's EnviroHouse hosts a free 10:30 a.m. workshop titled "Garden Design, Soils & Pest Management."

SUNDAY 7-24: Someone Shane would get bit during NADOi endorsed dog trainer Jeanne Hampf's 1 p.m. free workshop on "How to Keep Your Dog Happy and Safe at the Dog Park" at the Gig Harbor Branch Library. Slumped over on his horse, Shane would follow the same path that he took entering the South Sound.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

WHAT WHAT! >>>

Last night at midnight, in movie theaters far and wide -- including ones in Lakewood -- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 debuted, thus closing the cinematic door on one of the most popular and followed stories of all time. People will always remember where they were when the last Harry Potter movie dropped (or something).

Volcano photographer Jen Cook-Asaro certainly will, as she was stationed at the Regal Lakewood Cinema, tasked with capturing the magic ...

(PHOTOS: Jen Cook-Asaro)

To read Rev. Adam McKinney's review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 click here.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 22, 2011 >>>

1. Barnburner, Stone Axe, Sleeper Cell and Electric Falcons will rock the crap out of Hell's Kitchen beginning at 9 p.m.

2. Weekly Volcano visual arts critic Alec Clayton posses many talents, including the ability to write a bad-ass novel or three. His latest, The Backside of Nowhere, is a wild and funny Southern novel set on the Gulf Coast in range of New Orleans. At 7:30 p.m. inside the Lakewood Playhouse, director Scott C. Brown and a dozen of the best actors in the South Sound region will read from the full-length feature film script adapted from Clayton's novel.

3. These pretzels are making us thirsty. But we mean, at only 50 cents apiece, it's impossible not to scarf down four in a row. If only we had some ... oh, yes, there it is. Microbrews for $2.75 and wells for $2.50 every weekday afternoon from 3-6 p.m. Magoo's Annex and Eatery, you've done it again. Now all we need is a sexy friend. Preferably one who can recognize old Seinfeld quotes.

4. 99 Bottles in Federal Way will serve tastes of big stouts from 4-7:45 p.m. for a $1.

5. The Fun Police, The Taxpayers and Dead Peasants will play the all-ages Red Room in downtown Tacoma beginning at 7:30 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Half-price wine bottles night!

ON ADDICTION TO ACTING >>>

Can I tell you how busy I am? You are, too, of course, but please, bear with me a moment: I got married last month, so I'm trying to squeeze all my possessions into my new wife's Tumwater condo. Not that I'm complaining, mind you; I've become a homeowner with minimal effort. Still, all my stuff has to go somewhere, and it turns out my somewhere is a yard sale. We have a full reception to plan, plus an Orlando getaway.Meanwhile, I have this job, but I'm also teaching two online classes for a rural Kansas community college. Starting in less than a month, I'm teaching (and grading!) a math class at Olympic College in Shelton. And my "real" job, the one that's paying for our extravagant Florida vacation, is writing online assistance in support of a soon-to-be-published math textbook. That'll morph into a job doing online tutorials, probably sometime this month. It's a lot.

So when John Munn, usually at Lakewood Playhouse but currently guest directing for Theater Artists Olympia, called to ask if I'd play a role in his production of Oleanna, every logical neuron in my body screamed, "Tell him no way!"

I said yes. No one was more surprised than I that I assented, save possibly my new wife. We were on our honeymoon at the time.

Why do I do it?--not just to myself, but to my long-suffering stage widow and career responsibilities as well? Granted, John was willing to work around my review schedule, but that just made it possible (well, semi-possible...I don't know how I'll review A Midsummer Night's Dream from Animal Fire). It sure didn't make it a wonderful idea. Oleanna, a 1992 work by David Mamet, is what we in the trade call a two-hander, a term that never fails to make certain friends giggle. It means there are only two people in the play, and now one of those two people is me.

The other actor is Deya Ozburn, whom I've worked with before, and I just think she's aces. Not only is she a gifted and beautiful actor, she's also peaches and cream to work with and be around. She's the kind of actor who, no matter how much we have to scream abuse at each other within the play, begins and ends every rehearsal with a heartfelt hug. John's a brilliant guy with a consistent track record as a director, not to mention the fact that he remembered my birthday this weekend. So that's all lovely, and a strong incentive to do the show. It's just not why I agreed to do the show.

Is it because I love acting? I don't think I do anymore, frankly, at least not most of the time. It's an enormous amount of work, especially as my ability to memorize dissolves. The lines for this show will be, I can promise you now, a stone cold bitch. I love theater people, but they can be a handful. I suspect there exists no other craft so magnetic to people who teeter on the high wire between glaring narcissism and suicidal self-loathing. (Guilty as charged, Your Honor.) The drive to Lakewood, currently at $3.84 a gallon, is a drag. And I'm missing my wife, and besides, her family won't come to see the show because I have to say one of my least favorite words in it. (I have favorite and least favorite words. I'm a writer. So sue me.) There is no logical reason for me to accept a role in Oleanna this summer. To be honest, I'm not even crazy about the play. So when my rational mind dissects the situation, there can be only one, inescapable conclusion: I'm addicted. It's a fact. My new father-in-law named it out loud: "The bug," he said flatly, as if to say, "The clap."

He's a musician himself, a damn good one, so I'm sure he kind of gets it. I don't. I've tried a sufficient number of party pharmaceuticals to know I don't have an addictive personality; yet here we are. I'm chasing the dragon, always pulled to the next show, the next possible fix of whatever high I derived from it in my long-ago youth on the boards. Acting used to be my claim to distinction; now I'm surrounded by excellent actors. There's nothing special about my ability, whatever that is, in South Puget. Acting used to be how I got close, sometimes happily close, to bright, pretty girls. Now I'm married to a bright, pretty woman. Acting used to be how I said what I had to say to the world. Now I'm finding it all but impossible to keep up with this blog and my own (at ChristianCarvajal.com). I've owed that eponymous blog an entry for weeks; hell, I haven't even mentioned my wedding there. Not cool!

Do they make a Dr. Phil, or at least a Dr. Drew, for my addiction? Is there a theater patch?

YOUR SOURCE FOR SOUTH SOUND THEATER >>>

Is it wrong that I secretly wished Lakewood Playhouse's production of Sweeney Todd would be a little bit more like a GWAR concert? My instincts say yes, but my heart says no.

Not that I wanted a horde of spastic metalheads kicking me in the head, but if there is one tale of musical theater well-suited for a good, strong arterial spray, it's that of the Demon Barber.

Fortunately, it turns out there are a good many ways to make a play violent and disturbing without literally drenching your audience in red food coloring.

First, get yourself a creepily intense lead. Glenn Guhr, in the title role at Lakewood Playhouse, has this locked down. When you walk in the front door (I know you will, because I'm going to tell you to before this article is through, and I'm pretty convincing) take a look at his headshot. It's impossible not to, because his steely stare is already burning a hole in the side of your head.

To read Joe Izenman's full review of Sweeney Todd click here.

[Lakewood Playhouse, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, through June 26, $25-$19, 8 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Saturday-Sunday, 5729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd., Lakewood, 253.588.0042] 

WE'RE A BIG BOY NOW >>>

The Weekly Volcano's "personal" Facebook page is closing in on FB's 5,000 friends limit. Holy wow is right. We've started a "fan" page, which will allow us to compile as many friends/fans as technologically possible. If you're on FB and dig the Volcano's posts, quips, discoveries and news breaks – as well as content that doesn't appear either online or in print – go to facebook.com/weeklyvolcanofanpage and please "like" us.

Bonus: To make you really "like" us, we will enter those who "like" us before 5 p.m. Wednesday, June 8 into a random drawing for a free one night stay for two in a King Deluxe Room at the Hotel Murano. You will need to redeem the room before June 30, 2011.

The new Weekly Volcano Facebook page will also be your guide to exclusive Weekly Volcano events, promotions, blogs and photos.

Thank you!

LINK: Like us

On behalf of the Weekly Volcano and Swarner Communications, I'd like to extend special prayers and thanks for those who died serving our country, and those brave soldiers, and their families, who still serve.

For a list of local Memorial Day events, visit the Northwest Military website.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 2011 >>>

1. That Mad Rad show you’ve heard so much about, with SOTA, Friday Knights, QDot and City Hall also on the bill, is tonight at Hell's Kitchen, yo. Find all the details here.

2. Have yet to check out the Gritty City Sirens Burlesque troupe? Tonight’s your night at Jazzbones. The show starts at 9 p.m. and there’s no cover.

3. Bingo! It’s free bingo night at Applini's Two Clean and Sober Club in Puyallup.

4. Catch Shotgun Red and The Moonshiners tonight at Golden West Restaurant and Lounge in Tacoma. Or, if that’s not your musical cup of tea, try browsing the Volcano’s extensive South Sound live local music calendar here.

5.The OMG! Teen Gaming Club meets tonight at the Lakewood Pierce County Library. There’s no doubt you’ll LOL if you go.  But, if gaming isn’t your thing, take a look at the Volcano’s comprehensive South Sound arts and events calendar here.