LET'S DO THIS THING >>>

Barely five years ago, several of the Dockyard Derby Dames could hardly stand up on eight wheels. But at 6 p.m. tonight, they'll be cruising on all cylinders as they launch into their fifth season of hot roller derby action with The Marauding Mollys vs. the Femme Fianna and the DyDD season four champions The Trampires jammin' against The Hellbound Homewreckers in a bout staged at the Pierce College Health Ed. Center in Lakewood.

This sport involves - roughly - a race between two teams on roller skates, during which a player scores points by overtaking opposing players after skating completely around the track within a certain time limit. Despite its roots in Depression-era entertainment, the derby has undergone several cycles, including an upswing in the '70s, and now has grown to 104 Women's Flat Track Derby Association leagues. Adding to tonight's action, Weekly Volcano Publisher Pappi Swarner and columnist Steph DeRosa will partake in the pre-bout rues demonstration.

Tickets, $12 when doors open at 6 p.m., allow fans either a coveted (and slightly dangerous) trackside seat, one of the many stands or a more removed perch in the beer garden.

Dockyard Derby Dames Season 5, Bout 1

Saturday, Feb. 26, 6 p.m., doors 5 p.m., 412
Pierce College Health Ed. Center, 9401 Farwest Dr., Lakewood
DyDD's website and Facebook

The rest of the season

• BOUT 2: Saturday April 2, Pierce College Health Ed. Center, 9401 Farwest Dr. SW, Lakewood, doors at 5 p.m.
• ALL STAR: Saturday April 23, Pierce College Health Ed. Center, 9401 Farwest Dr. SW, Lakewood, doors at 5 p.m.
• BOUT 3: Saturday May 21, Foss Waterway, doors at 5 p.m.
• CHAMP BOUT: Saturday June 25, Foss Waterway, doors at 5 p.m.
• ALL STAR: Saturday Aug 20, Pierce College Health Ed. Center, 9401 Farwest Dr. SW, Lakewood, doors at 5 p.m.

ELECTION SHOWS WHO'S WILLING TO PAY FOR PUBLIC TRANSIT - AND WHO'S NOT >>>

Pierce County residents decided to reject Proposition 1, a decision that officials say will result in reduced transit services throughout the county beginning as early as July. Roughly 55 percent of voters chose to reject to measure. Perhaps more disturbing, only 33% percent of Pierce County's registered voters bothered to vote in decision that has big ramifications for our community.

Organizers of the Save Our Buses campaign, which encouraged voters to approve the measure, were disappointed but not shocked by the results.

"It was a tax increase in an anti-tax climate," explains Save Our Buses campaign manager Justin Leighton.

Leighton attributes much of the loss to a self-serving mentality amongst voters who do not use public transit or live in parts of the county that receive limited or no service. "Many voters had a sentiment of ‘if I don't use it, why should I pay for it?" he says.

 "You often see a similar sentiment concerning school bonds," he explains. "Not everyone understands the overall benefit of education, and (they) say because they don't have a kid or relative in the system they don't want to pay for it."

The map linked below released by Gecommons.com and Chris Karnes shows the approve/reject trends throughout the county. Tacoma strongly supported the measure, as did the core are of Puyallup, and much of Lakewood. However, the sprawling suburban and rural areas of Pierce County overwhelming rejected it. 

"We won Tacoma by 55 percent but lost a lot of other areas by over 60 percent," explains Andrew Austin, Field Director for Transportation Choices Coalition and Steering Committee member of Save Our Busses. "The urban ‘yes' vote wasn't enough to offset the suburban ‘no' vote."

It is now inevitable that services will be cut, and Austin says that the voter map should be considered by the County as they prepare to make tough decisions about where and how they make cuts.

"This map shows who is willing to pay for transit services," he observes.  "I hope that using this (map) Pierce Transit will have a serious conversation about shrinking their boundaries to places where they can better service communities and people have indicated that they want it."

LINK HUB

Pierce County Auditor's Special Election results

GeoCommons map breaking down the regional voting trends

SUNDAY, JAN. 23, 2011 >>>

1. A car accident, a coming-out, and a lifetime of cons, jail-breaking, and death-faking. By the end of the film I Love You Phillip Morris, you totally forget about its opening claim: "This really happened." Ace Ventura plays outrageous con man Steven Russell, who impersonated doctors, lawyers, FBI agents and corporate executives. Young Obi-Wan plays his cellmate Phillip Morris, whom Steven falls in love with. His life consists of trying to get Russell out of jail, or trying to escape to be with him. The upbeat film's dark humor and gay themes surpass typical art-house trappings. Catch it at 12:05, 2:30, 5, 7:20 and 9:35 p.m. inside The Grand Cinema.

2. The Lakewood Playhouse stages Ring Round the Moon, a quick-paced, witty, and tangy satire of upper-class pretension and lower-class ambition, at 2 p.m.

3. Meet Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction expert and author Lorrie Jones and learn about her new book and program, 21 Days of Eating Mindfully - Your Guide to a Healthy Relationship with Yourself and Food, from 2-4 p.m. inside Samdhana-Karana Yoga: A Healing Arts Center on Sixth Avenue.

4. The annual Sounds of Brass Concert presented by Brass Unlimited goes down at 3 p.m. inside St. Mark's Lutheran Church by The Narrows. With musical selections including Borodin's "Polovestian Dances," Danny Elfman's "A Brass Thing," and Gliere's "French Horn Concerto," the show - conducted by TCC Music Dept. Chairman John Falskow - this Sounds of Brass Concert will definitely live up to expectations. It's no surprise this event has been going strong for 13 years now.

5. Mykel Spatz, aka Michael Spotts, played the Hammond B-3 keys for what seemed like hundreds of R&B, funk and rock bands in the Pacific Northwest, including Leroy Bell, Ed Taylor, Jerry Miller, Bill Brown and the King Bees, Little Bill, and Jay Mabin. Spatz died last year from a terminal illness. At 3 p.m. inside The Swiss a memorial concert will be held for the beloved keyboardist that will include an open jam.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

JUST IN >>>

This gem just popped up on weeklyvolcano.com in regard to our story on the demise of the Funky Monkey, 104.9 FM.

"I was In the federal Prison at Seatac for Twenty months. The monkey kept my sanity for the entire time. I got out and found nothing else could compare. I have been streaming for over a year. I feel lost." -Bill Garvey

Awesome.

See the other 48 comments, as well as our actual article, here.

LET'S DO THIS 2011 THING >>>

Ah, the sweet artificiality of the New Year - the reassurance of a clean calendar, of resolutions for self-improvement. And then you pick up the newspaper, and that pure artifice of the change of year, that vagarious demarcation of another arbitrary moment, is rendered meaningless by the inexorably continuing chains of events that know no boundaries defined by pages in a calendar. (Remember, the Chinese and the Jews have their own calendars, no less arbitrary, no more meaningful.)  It's no wonder revelers seem to work so hard trying to have a good time as the countdowns begin.

We here at the Weekly Volcano and Spew hope you had a nice holiday season and we wish you the best all year around.

HO HO HO >>

Every year our Christmas dinner has one flaw.  We have no gripes about eating the same menu annually - ham with cherry sauce, green bean casserole, twice-baked potatoes, and freshly baked rolls. It's the Jell-O salad that gets us. 

Our mom makes a strange concoction of dark cherry Jell-O with Coca-Cola and bits of cream cheese, which is not as bad as it sounds, but she serves us a slab on top of a piece of iceberg lettuce.  The lettuce is our mom's way of dressing up a barren salad plate, but the lettuce taste is transferred to the Jell-O.  We end up eating lettuce-flavored Jell-O, and trust us we've protested. 

As we gather around the Christmas dinner table with family and friends - feeling fortunate to even have food, family and friends - no doubt we'll have Jell-O on lettuce again.  We'll eat it, with a smile

What ever this day brings you, the Weekly Volcano staff wishes you a merry one. As always, thanks for reading, commenting and joining the fun. Cheers!

GIVE TO A LOCAL CHARITY >>>

‘Tis the season for giving, and whether you're getting free drinks or just some feel-good cheer, there are plenty of reasons to be generous this month. Here are just a few local organizations offering means to help others out this season:

• Tacoma Community House
• Lindquist Dental Clinic for Children
• Olive Crest
• Emergency Food Network
• Catherine Place
• Mary Bridge Children's Foundation
• United Way/Project:U
• Santa Silvia/Mary Bridge
• Thurston County Food Bank
• Fisher House
• Lakewood Area Shelter Association
• CenterForce
• Tacoma Goodwill
• Rebuilding Tacoma South Sound
• Habitat for Humanity Store

TUESDAY, DEC. 21, 2010 >>>

1. Other, non-North American English-speaking countries know the film of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by an alternate title: The Worst Kids In The World. That should tell you about the quality of the characters in question, and the odds that the title will actually come true. The Herdman clan will be on hand at 7:30 p.m. inside the Lakewood Playhouse to teach you all about the true spirit of Christmas by lying, cheating, stealing, smoking and other wholesome endeavors. It's a feel-good season of joy for everyone. Or something.

2. Alaskan Brewing Co. will host the Reindeer Games at the Varsity Grill from 5:30-7:30 p.m. Games will include pigskin toss, reindeer races, and ladder golf. Prizes include Seahawks tickets, Varsity Grill gift cards, beer swag or even a chance to win a trip to Valdez, Alaska to hang with pro snowboarders. Varsity Grill will be serving $3 Alaska pints and $8 Alaskan beer-battered fish and chips. No, really.

3. Celtic band Mooncoyne will perform at the Mandolin Cafe as part of the $25 a head Winter Solstice Celebration. There's lasagna people!

4. University of Puget Sound and Click! Cable TV are teaming up to screen Elf at 7 p.m. inside the University of Puget Sound's Memorial Fieldhouse. Concessions will be available, including hot dogs, popcorn, beverages, and candy (no syrup - we checked natch!). Afterward, let's all get together and make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.

5. Puget Sound Revels has been, well, reveling since way back in 1992 - though it feels like much longer than that, doesn't it? It ALMOST feels like the group has been doing its thing since the 19th century, which just so happens to be the era they'll embody at 7:30 p.m. as part of this year's annual Christmas Revels at the Rialto Theater  - billed as a 19th century English celebration, and "a joyous and timeless celebration for all ages."

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Subscribe to our weekly e-newsletter (hug)

SATURDAY, DEC. 11, 2010 >>>

1. Does prolonged exposure to tinsel in public spaces make you want to go postal?  Stop, take a deep breath, and put down the candy cane you've just sharpened into a vampire-slaying stake. You are not alone.  When the holiday bears down on us like a giant sack of toys, we turn to The Nutcracker. Tacoma City Ballet, in concert with The Northwest Sinfonietta, presents the story of Clara and The Nutcracker at 1 and 5 p.m. inside the Pantages Theater.

2. Make no mistake, we love Christmas music. Heck, our Partridge Family Christmas album practically has holes in it from excessive repeated playing. Trust us when we tell you that you don't know the true meaning of Christmas until you've heard Shirley Jones and David Cassidy's duet on "Winter Wonderland." That's why we'll hang out at the Museum of Glass, check out the Glimmering Gone exhibit, and enjoy the sounds of the season performed by the piano students of Paul Twedt at 1 and 3 p.m.

3. Zak Morgan will bring his kids-centric shtick to the Broadway Center for the Performing Arts' Theatre on the Square at 3 p.m. today and tomorrow. Morgan's work is Grammy-nominated and described as sophisticated, heavy on the witty wordplay and full of lessons. That's exactly what kids today need ... so they don't end up like us.

4. Take a step back in time to see how soldiers and ladies celebrated the holidays when Washington state was young and the land was wild. Lakewood's Historic Fort Steilacoom will host its annual Christmas at the Fort from 4-7:30 p.m. as a way to show families how people danced, talked and celebrated the holidays more than 100 years ago.

5. The Firwood Rock Lounge in downtown Tacoma will host a Toy and Clothing Drive Show with Restruct, Under Sin, From The Sea, Red Abbey, Corson Swift beginning at 8 p.m.

LINK: Wine tastings today

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Sometimes I think The Prefunk is really just some sort of sick joke ... and I'm at the center of it. Every week this blog post starts with some sort of proclamation that freedom's on the horizon, and the weekend is here, but I make this proclamation from my lonely office at Weekly Volcano World Headquarters, well after hours, as the day has already become night and everyone else has gone home for the weekend.

Thing is, The Prefunk never does quite make my list of priorities; somehow the jokes about getting high before book readings and posting pictures of alcoholic household pets is always the LAST thing I do. Perhaps I did something in a past life to deserve this ...

But chin up, self! It could be worse. It could be MUCH worse - I could have a REAL job. It's important to remember this.

With that, and the knowledge that I'm now doing positive self-affirmations in the reflection of my laptop right now, here's this week's Prefunk - as usual, with a picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure.

Mutherfuckin' Pokemon City Championships

Saturday, Dec. 11 at Game Matrix in Lakewood

In truth, I know absolutely nothing about Pokemon.

Scratch that ... just looked it up on Wikipedia.

Pokémon is a media franchise published and owned by the video game company Nintendo and created by Satoshi Tajiri in 1996. Originally released as a pair of interlinkable Game Boy role-playing video games, Pokémon has since become the second most successful and lucrative video game-based media franchise in the world, behind only Nintendo's own Mario series...^.The name Pokémon is the romanized contraction of the Japanese brand Pocket Monsters as such contractions are quite common in Japan. The term "Pokémon", in addition to referring to the Pokémon franchise itself, also collectively refers to the 649 fictional species that have made appearances in Pokémon media ...Like the words deer and sheep, the word "Pokémon" is identical in both the singular and plural, as is each individual species name; in short, it is grammatically correct to say both "one Pokémon" and "many Pokémon" as well as "one Pikachu" and "many Pikachu"..."

OK. Now I feel a little better. Not sure if you put two and two together, but a member of the Weekly Volcano's staff who shall remain nameless had a girlfriend in the ‘90s who was really into Pokemon - specifically Pikachu (which, admittedly, is one of the more adorable Pokemon). She was also really into warehouses, sleep deprivation, hugs, incessant techno music and - quite naturally - ecstasy. You have to remember, it was the 90s: ecstasy was all the rage. The ‘90s were dumb on a lot of levels.

Anyway, this particular Volcano staffer (who, again, shall remain nameless) has never understood if there's some sort of connection between Pokemon and ravers. Perhaps this is the weekend to find out ...

PREFUNK: Sorry, gang. I can't quite pull the trigger on even jokingly recommending people pop a handful of ecstasy before heading out to the Pokemon City Championships at Game Matrix in Lakewood tomorrow. I may be the kind of guy that's tied to a weekly blog post in which he recommends ways to get drunk, high or creative ways to get messed up before seemingly ordinary weekend happenings, but even I know when a joke isn't worth the possible resulting lawsuit(s).

However, THIS garbage claims to be completely legal everywhere in the world. Maybe you could give it a try? Trust me, though; I'm sure it REALLY is complete garbage.

For one, how often do you REALLY need to do a handstand?

But still... if you're already into Pokemon, maybe this crap would make it just that much better.

So go for it. Besides, we won't know until you find out and have a totally bad experience and end up suing the shit out of the Volcano and getting me fired for a blog post where I thought I was taking the high road by recommending herbal ecstasy instead of the real deal.

See you next week.