For nerds, this weekend is a very special one, for it contains within the mysterious power of Star Wars Day. May 4th (as in "may the 4th be with you," nudge nudge, wink wink), while an unofficial holiday, is still a fervently celebrated one, and 2014's installment couldn't have come at a more perfect time, as the cast of J.J. Abrams' forthcoming Star Wars film was just made public.

No doubt the Internet will be choked with nerdy arguments over the casting of people like Inside Llewyn Davis star Oscar Isaac and Girls' Adam Driver (also of Llewyn Davis' best scene: "OUTER SPACE!"). While endless speculation and debate is what nerds do best, it might be nice to leave vitriol aside for May 4th, and sit down with the One True Trilogy^TM (Prequels? What prequels?). Those movies? They age like a motherfucker, so enjoy.

FRIDAY, MAY 2

In other nerd-adjacent news, a new monthly dance party is coming to The New Frontier Lounge. From some of the same people that brought us the very popular Future Bass DJ night, we now have Smart People. Look, I get that it's a very tenuous connection between nerd culture and a dance event that just happens to be called "Smart People," but you like compliments, don't you? All you brainy readers out there. I like your glasses. Is that a new haircut? You so smart.

As advertised, the DJs will be drawing from all sorts of influences, even outside of the usual R&B and electronica, bringing in indie rock, boogie-woogie and disco. Tacoma just doesn't get enough dancing in, so you'd be wise to consider Smart People your monthly reminder to get out of your comfort zone for a while and embrace the beat.

SMART PEOPLE, w/ Mr. Melanin and other DJs, doors at 9 p.m., The New Frontier Lounge, 301 E. 25th St., Tacoma, no cover before 10:30 p.m., $5 after, 253.572.4020

SUNDAY, MAY 4

>>> Antihero

After you've been sated by your potent mainlining of the Star Wars trilogy, head on over to Jazzbones for a very worthy cause. Musicians for Oso is a benefit show whose proceeds go directly to those affected by the tragic mudslide in Oso. A disquieting event, to be sure, but the lineup of bands assembled for the show is tremendous and very, very loud. And it's all ages, to boot!

The Oso mudslide was a tremendous disaster, so if you can help out while getting your eardrums blown out, why wouldn't you?

MUSICIANS FOR OSO, w/ Antihero, Jamie Nova, Black Powder County, The Mothership, Wanz, 5 p.m., Jazzbones, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, $12, $10 advance, 253.396.9169

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.28.14 >>>

Obama administration imposed a new round of targeted economic sanctions against cronies of Russian President Vladimir Putin and 17 companies in response to Russia's involvement in the crisis in Ukraine.

The Philippines and the United States announced they would sign an agreement today to allow a greater US military presence on Filipino soil for the next decade.

America's Treaty Allies: worth going to war over?

U.S. Official: Iran must prove it's not building nuclear weapon.

An Iranian newspaper is reporting that the country's military plans to target a mock-up American aircraft carrier during upcoming war games.

Sequestration is forcing the Defense Department to "literally build two budgets" and, if the automatic cuts are continued, will damage the quality of U.S. weapons systems and deter innovation.

Report: Pentagon to destroy $1B in ammo.

The U.S. Air Force's decision to divest itself of the A-10 has created a massive headache to the service.

An investigation is underway into whether Marine Corps higher-ups retaliated against an officer who accused the commandant, Gen. James Amos, of meddling in a prosecution.

America's gazillion-dollar Joint Strike Fighter is supposed to go virtually unseen when flying over enemy turf. But that's not how things are working out.

More leaders in government, industry and academia disapprove of U.S. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel's job performance than approve.

U.S. Army Brig. Gen. David Bassett: the decades-old Paladin 155mm mobile howitzer system has undergone such a radical upgrade that it's managed essentially as a new program.

Soldier Pay: How much is enough?

West Point wants more women to keep the academy ahead of the curve as the Pentagon lifts restrictions for women in combat jobs.

What Google's really working on.

The Food Luminati have you everywhere you turn: Exposing the Satanic roots of energy drinks.

List: 15 words "you didn't know were coined by famous writers."

John Oliver's new show, Last Week Tonight, has posted a bunch of clips from the premiere on YouTube.

Are These Real?: Lost art of the lurid VHS cover.

Thanks!: Game of Thrones handy family tree.

Wedding crashers apologize after their drunken antics go viral.

This movie looks cool ...

Original photo by Lt. Col. Keith Moore, Arkansas National Guard Public Affairs

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.26.14 >>>

Al Qaeda chief Ayman al-Zawahiri has called on Muslims to kidnap Westerners, particularly Americans.

Russian jets cross into Ukraine airspace.

With Ukraine in turmoil, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel can't get Russian counterpart to take his calls.

Hagel is taking a backseat to other players in the Obama administration when it comes to the crisis in Ukraine. 

Leaders of the Group of Seven major economies agreed to impose extra sanctions on Russia over its intervention in Ukraine.

Five NATO-led service members were killed when a helicopter crashed due to technical failure in southern Afghanistan.

Did Obama just draw another red line in the East China Sea?

Military officials in Europe are pushing back against reports the U.S. was conducting humanitarian assistance projects in Crimea as a ruse to establish a military base in the region.

North Korea denies drones were sent to South.

Military suicides down for active duty, up for reservists.

Army's basic training is no longer basic: Lessons for business.

SpaceX has filed a protest against the U.S. Air Force over the service's decision to award the United Launch Alliance a sole-source block buy of 36 launch cores.

Reserve soldiers augment active-duty drill sergeants.

Cadet Command looking for professors of military science.

With final approach, U-2 pilot's career makes celebrated landing.

5 best submarines of the Cold War.

New rule: Recruits must buy U.S.-made athletic shoes.

The Internet is buzzing right now with the latest, greatest (and potentially fake) Worst Thing Ever. Meet Code Babes, the stripping amalgam of everything that's wrong with tech culture today.

Chances are, you missed Dinner with Friends with Brett Gelman and Friends comedy special that aired late last night on Adult Swim, but you can catch up online. Guests at the wonderfully random table include True Blood's Dale Dickey, Gilbert Gottfried, Fred Melamed, The Newsroom's Alison Pill and Girls' Alex Karpovsky.

The world premiere of Jim Gaffigan: Obsessed debuts on Comedy Central April 27. Here's a taste.

Hmmm: Beer lollipops

The British Pathé on YouTube newsreel archive has posted more than 80,000 clips of cultural milestones and memories. Check 'em out, even just for all the Mick Jagger stuff.

The former member of Joy Division and New Order has a new book out about one of England's most famous clubs in the '80s and '90s.

Finally: Thanks to Petit Tube, we can graze the surface of all the weird, wonderful, an often disturbing YouTube clips.

Star Wars as you've never seen it before: with really terrible sound effects dubbed in...

Original photo by Defense Imagery Management Operations Center

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.25.14 >>>

Ukrainian Prime Minister Arseniy Yatsenyuk accused Russia of wanting to start a third world war. 

President Obama encountered setbacks to two of his most cherished foreign-policy projects on Thursday, as he failed to achieve a trade deal that undergirds his strategic pivot to Asia and the Middle East peace process suffered a potentially irreparable breakdown.

Be Afaird: China can't control North Korea.

North Korea represents a threat not just to Asia but to the United States, Pres. Obama said today, as he and South Korea's President Park Geun-hye warned they would respond firmly to any "provocations".

Rates of suicide in the military were slightly worse during the war years than what the Pentagon previously reported, according to new calculations released by Defense Department officials today.

Rep. Mike McCaul (R-Texas) said the former watchdog at the Department of Homeland Security should be fired and possibly prosecuted if allegations over his misconduct are true

Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-N.H.) called on Congress to pass the Military Justice Improvement Act to address military sexual assaults.

U.S. Air Force Global Strike Command's effort to grasp morale problems and outline steps to improve the nuclear community is moving beyond missileers to bomber crews.

The Navy will conduct a battle exercise off the West Coast next month that could help determine whether another 22 more EA-18G Growler aircraft will be built.

Group links military to cyber, robotics innovators.

U.S. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel got a first-hand look at a life-size robot Tuesday that resembles Hollywood's "Terminator," the latest experiment by the Pentagon's hi-tech researchers.

Boeing has worked to offer the Navy an escape hatch from the costly Joint Strike Fighter program.

Many retirees and active duty families may stop shopping on base if DoD is allowed to slash commissary budgets.

The Army has taken a step toward officially acknowledging "humanists" among other faiths and belief systems, ending years of resistance to the idea.

Probe of Army general calls insular military culture into question.

Video: The science of tsunamis.

Time unveiled its annual "Influential People" feature.

Three digital images produced by Andy Warhol have been recovered on floppy discs.

Awesome: Giant robot sound effect slippers make your cyborg fantasies come true.

Take a journey into Homer's brain and push the boundaries of animation.

Ronald McDonald has gone a (still-creepy) wardrobe change.

Finally: What if Forrest Gump were a Wes Anderson film?

Keep your chin up ...

Original photo by Sgt. 1st Class Roger Dey

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.24.14 >>>

Ukrainian forces killed up to five pro-Moscow separatists in the east of the country, the Interior Ministry said. 

Russia insists that Kiev pull back its troops from eastern Ukraine.

Paratroopers from the 173rd Infantry Brigade are now in Poland.

Afghanistan is not a country known for its aeronautical industry, but at least Gen. Mark Welsh, U.S. Air Force chief of staff, believes that could change.

Welsh also defended the service's plan to retire the A-10 attack plane, even as lawmakers continue to voice opposition to the idea.

And ... Welsh says the Air Force is simplifying the way it grades nuclear-missile officers on their monthly exams.

The 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) is beginning Operation Agile Eagle II, designed to localize and implement the larger Department of the Army-directed Brigade Combat Team 2020 initiative.

The U.S. Air Force needs to do more for its overworked drone pilots, a specialized force that has little time to train and suffers from low morale, according to a recent report by a government watchdog.

The next step toward autopilot in combat.

The Pentagon wants a cheap cruise missile that can strike anywhere in the world without risking American soldiers or aircraft. It's a great idea. As long as it doesn't inadvertently start a destabilizing arms race.

At least 40 U.S. veterans died waiting for appointments at the Phoenix Veterans Affairs Health Care system, many of whom were placed on a secret waiting list.

The military is looking to roboticize the most exhausting aspects of flying jets.

A White House petition calling for the president to order the Army to reconsider its new grooming regulation fell short of its goal.

First lady announces one-stop job site for vets.

Ten of the most exotic and weird calculators on the Internet.

Finally: The coolest visualization of Pi

Awesome chemical reactions that look like impossible sorcery.

The new Star Wars movie will have the biggest budget of all the Star Wars movies.

Hear Seth Meyers interviewed on Fresh Air.

Sad: The drama surrounding the Gregg Allman biopic.

Super Dad!

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.23.14 >>>

U.S. President Barack Obama said engagement with Beijing would not come at the expense of its Asian allies.

Why Obama's Asia tour is bad news for China.

The Pentagon has laid out plans for how it would cut $66 billion in procurement and research-and-development projects between 2016 and 2019 should U.S. defense spending caps remain in place.

Ukraine's president ordered the country's forces to renew a military operation against pro-Russian militants in East Ukraine after the killing of two men and a shooting at a plane.

Four Army units heading to Eastern Europe.

Germany helped prep Russia for war.

Commercial satellite imagery shows increased activity at North Korea's nuclear test site.

Report: U.S. may leave fewer troops in Afghanaistan.

New recruits in the U.S. military are getting slightly older.

U.S. Army denies it will lay off 3,000 officers to meet force reduction goals.

Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency program personnel demonstrated five technologies under development to Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel.

Defense officials agree that the military must change the way it buys satellites and space services. They just can't settle on exactly how it should be done.

Buying in bulk is key to lowering the cost of the F-35 joint strike fighter, the Pentagon's most expensive weapons program.

Rising jet production lifted Boeing's profit above Wall Street estimates, and the company notched up its full-year forecast.

As the Department of Veterans Affairs nears officially ending vet homelessness in 2015, job training, sustainment is critical.

Watch where 26 asteroids recently slammed into Earth.

The simplest explanation of climate change you'll ever see.

You'll Watch the Whole Thing: The formation of the United States of America in one cool animated map.

Future: We got the doors from Star Trek. The ones that go swooooosh - and that's about it.

Putt like Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Finally: Tiny desktop-sized version of Jupiter.

Researchers from the University of Colorado Denver have been looking into the most common unfriendings on the social network.

See what Stephen Colbert had to say to Dave Letterman last night.

Read GQ's new interview with Louis C.K.

Listen: New Pixies record is streaming at NPR.

Finally: An oral history of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

In case you missed it yesterday ...

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.22.14 >>>

The Obama administration is sending nearly $10 billion in new 'security assistance' to Ukraine as that country stares down Russian force,

Russia displays a new military prowess in Ukraine's East.

Moscow's aggressive push into Ukraine has forced Pentagon leaders to rethink the push to redistribute resources to the Pacific.

Militants wearing military uniforms carried out an overnight attack against a balloting center in a remote area of Iraq's north and killed 10 guards.

Forget the A-10. The Air Force needs a mix of aircraft and capabilities for the 2023 fight.

U.S. combat air forces are ill equipped to fight a technologically empowered enemy, and it could be years or decades before the Pentagon deploys more advanced weapons.

As Army shrinks, young officers are being pushed out.

What we left behind in Iraq.

U.S. Special Operations Command's plan to build an Iron Man suit may only be possible in big-screen sci-fi movies.

Would Jeb Bush's defense policy look more like his father's or brother's?

Petition: Tan beret only for the Ranger regiment.

Dozens denied Navy base access due to past crimes.

Listen: Jack White's new single.

Wow: HBO renewed Silicon Valley.

An interesting map of the most famous brands from every state.

Finally: R2-D2 measuring cups.

Too Much Free Time: Dude is trying to collect every VHS copy of Speed that still exists.

77-year-old man narrowly escapes being hit by a train.

Everybody's favorite Dear Leader likes it and, therefore, so do you. ...

Feeling stupid and contagious, this is Nerd Alert, the Weekly Volcano's recurring events calendar devoted to all things nerdy. I myself am a Star Wars fan, mathlete, and spelling bee champion of long standing, so trust me: I grok whereof I speak.

FRIDAY, APRIL 25

As you may have gathered by now, I'm not that impressed by most horror movies. Over the years, I've seen enough Shatner-masked axe murderers and cats jumping out at me to last a dozen lifetimes. Yet I'm a bit intrigued by the setup for The Quiet Ones, in which a team of unethical psychologists try to induce telekinetic responses from a teenaged girl by scaring the Schlitz out of her. That's an interesting spin on Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House, don't you think? Early critical responses are mixed for Hammer Films' latest effort; but it stars Jared Harris (Lane on Mad Men, may he rest in peace), and everyone seems to agree he's on point at least. I mean, it's got to be scarier than A Haunted House 2, right?

Right?

Hey, it's Olympia Arts Walk weekend! Among tonight's highlights are a Nirvana tribute concert featuring five local bands and a world of teen spirit. Yes, it really has been two decades since Kurt Cobain's untimely passing (on April 5, 1994). Memoria, my friends. Memoria.

NIRVANA TRIBUTE CONCERT, 9 p.m., Capitol Theater, 206 Fifth Ave. SE, Olympia, $5, 360.951.8728

If a heart-shaped box isn't your cup of tea, Vince Brown will be strumming away (with jazz vocalist LaVon Hardison) at Swing Wine Bar starting at 6:30 p.m., and WET Science Center will be open till 8. You could also drop by the Midnight Sun, where my wife Amanda Stevens will costar in an 8 p.m. revival of Chamber Music, a nuthouse dramedy directed by Pug Bujeaud of Theater Artists Olympia. Downtown will be crazy in general, so I recommend taking the bus. Plus it's eco-friendly!

If you've ever wanted to get levitated, drowned in a milk jug, or penetrated by Spikes of Doom, now's your chance. Married illusionists Kevin and Cindy Spencer were named "Magicians of the Year" by the International Magicians Society in 2009, and yes, they do call people up out of the audience to get ensorcelled within an inch of their lives. Kevin has a habit (swiped from Harry Houdini) of walking through brick walls, so catch his act now before he does himself any permanent craniofacial damage.

SPENCERS THEATRE OF ILLUSION, 7:30 p.m., Pantages Theater, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, $72-$82, 253.591.5894

SATURDAY, APRIL 26

The 20th Procession of the Species proceeds at 4:30 p.m. in downtown Olympia, so make like Neil deGrasse Tyson and celebrate the awesome power of natural selection! - in this case, by yelling pleasantries at people in octopus costumes.

SUNDAY, APRIL 27

Local restaurateurs, vintners, and microbrewers bring their A games to the South Sound's premiere oyster chow-down, SLURP (Shellfish Lovers Ultimate Rejuvenation Party). It's a community auction and mollusk feed that benefits habitat restoration and community outreach programs. Duly adored for its Grand Oyster Bar, this is paradise for the bivalve-curious. Chris Schwarz, corporate executive chef for Tom Douglas Restaurants, will be leading all the shucking and jiving. VIPs who shell out (sorry) a thousand bucks get a private chef and oyster server. Hey, did you know Olympia oysters start their reproductive season as males, turn themselves female partway through, then might even become male again just for squirts and giggles? It's true! Boy, talk about a life form that's easy to shop for.

SLURP, 4:30 p.m., Fish Tale Brewery Warehouse, 515 Jefferson St. SE, Olympia, $60, 360.754.2744

How sad is it that ratings for Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. are dropping like a vibranium hang glider just as the show finally decides to get good? If you're looking for a reentry point, episode 16 ("End of the Beginning") worked for me. The show ties into Marvelverse movie continuity, so the chaos in Captain America: The Winter Soldier's third act pays off big time aboard Agent Coulson's Sassypants Airline.

Until next week, may the Force be with you, may the odds be ever in your favor, and may Agent(ish) Skye get shot all the way to death next time. Sorry, Bennet. I'm just not a fan. No T.A.H.I.T.I. for you.

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.21.14 >>>

An agreement reached last week to avert wider conflict in Ukraine was faltering as the new week began, with pro-Moscow separatist gunmen showing no sign of surrendering government buildings they have seized.

At least 30 suspected al Qaeda militants were killed in air strikes on Sunday in Yemen.

Obama's Asia pivot: A work in progress.

DoD reshapes Research and Development, betting on future technology.

United States is considering deploying about 150 soldiers for military exercises to begin in Poland and Estonia in the next few weeks.

Why Putin isn't worried about sanctions.

Japan bolstered its military surveillance capabilities in the southern island region of Okinawa over the weekend as territorial tensions with China simmer.

In shift to Africa, U.S. troops find complicated relationships.

Climate change is already destabilizing nations and leading to wars.

Divided in the wake of Fort Hood shooting.

U.S. Air Force pilot Capt. Joshua Wilson sidelined after criticizing F-22 system.

Pat Tillman's death discussed by former Army Ranger Steven Alliott.

10 years on, Pat Tillman's widow at peace with past.

Army to build military's largest solar array in Arizona.

The U.S. Army fired the first of a new fifth-generation tank cartridge, the M829E4, from an Abrams tank at Aberdeen Proving Ground, as part of a series of critical trials preceding the cartridge's entry into the Army's inventory.

Areo case will shape TV's future.

Nine of the coolest prefab houses in history.

This robot can teach you how to play golf and find that perfect swing.

The endless push and pull of Lindsay Lohan's reality show.

Explore the world of Game of Thrones as if it were on Google Maps.

Finally: photo gallery of bitchin' cosplayers.

Safety can be beautiful...

GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 4.19.14 >>>

U.S. ground troops to be sent to Poland and Estonia.

The U.S. Army plans to retire 798 aircraft and transfer AH-64 Apaches from the Guard to active duty units.

How the U.S. made its problem with Putin worse.

The U.S. Senate's top Republican said America should send weapons to the Ukrainian military as that country teeters on the brink of war with Russia.

How to navigate the East China Sea dispute between Japan and China.

Marine to receive Navy Cross for heroism in Afghanistan.

Air Force Wounded Warrior program officials announced the names of the athletes to represent the Air Force during the 2014 Warrior Games and the Invictus Games.

SOCOM lists Iron Man suit collaborators.

One of the most advance undersea drones contracted by the U.S. Navy is getting the workout of its robotic life this week as it plunges ever deeper into the Indian Ocean in search of missing Malaysian Airline's flight MH370's locator.

Navy destroyer USS Zumwalt christened at Bath Iron Works.

Oh good: Lab is missing 2,000 vials of the deadly SARS virus.

MIT scientists have invented a new invisible mirror that can show reflections but also be see through like a window.

Eric Wareheim, Aziz Ansari and Jason Woliner mix humor and food with their new web series Food Club.

The PBS show Pioneers of Television is back for another season, and the premiere is about standup comedians who transitioned to TV, including Jerry Seinfeld, Roseanne Barr, Bob Newhart and others.

Here it is: The new Orange is the New Black trailer.

Game of Thrones season four is officially the season of Jaime Lannister GIFs.

Men climb real life version Games of Thrones' northern ice wall.

Finally: The fastest way to take off your T-shirt.

Be sure to get a workout in today ...