TUESDAY, JAN. 11 >>>

1. See the Saint Martin's University men's basketball team on real TV for the first time ever - as they battle the Western Oregon University Wolves tonight on Fox Sports Net.

2. It's Tuesday, which means it's - obviously - time for "Ha Ha Tuesdays" at Jazzbones. Tonight, comedian Andy Andrist gets the laughs going.

3. In the mood for a great cup of coffee, something tasty, and perhaps a little acoustically woven classic rock? Oh, and want it to be all ages, so you don't have to worry about what to do with the kids, or whether you'll need your fake ID? Try Josiah & Sam Bogle tonight at the Mandolin Café. The duo starts at 7 p.m., and there's no cover charge.

4. Are you kind of broke, but still need sustenance and more importantly beer? Try Tightwad Tuesdays at Hell's Kitchen - think $2 beers, $2 wells and $2 for any taco.

5. If you're going to enter the science fair in Puyallup, you may as well have success. Are we right, or are we right? Tonight, check out the Puyallup School District "Science Fair Information Night" at the Puyallup Fair and Events Center. The schooling starts at 6:30 p.m.

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Showers, hi 48, lo 36

Saturday: Showers, chance of mixed snow, hi 43, lo 33

Sunday: Chance of snow, hi 40, lo 28

>>> SATURDAY, JAN. 8: BODYBOX CD RELEASE

A mix of funk, folk, bass-driven soul/hip-hop and alternative rock, a Bodybox song (or performance, Bobble Tiki assumes) could go any direction at any time. While none of the band's work comes off like a reinvention of the wheel, and all is comfortingly familiar, Bodybox definitely has a bevy of personalities to draw from - and they pull from them all with skill and obvious care. Saturday, they'll celebrate the release of an 11-song CD at the 4th Avenue Tavern in Olympia

• Fourth Avenue Tavern, 9 p.m., 210 Fourth Ave. E, Olympia, 360.786.1444
  

>>> SUNDAY, JAN. 9: PEKING ACROBATS

Unless you're completely dead on the inside, there should still be a bit of childlike wonderment that comes from seeing someone do something remarkable. The Peking Acrobats from China - a skilled touring troupe of jugglers, gymnasts, cyclists and tumblers - have the ability to instill such wonderment - and have been doing so for more than 50 years. Sunday, the Peking Acrobats will bring their "Silver Anniversary Tour" to the Pantages in Tacoma.

• Pantages Theater,-3 p.m., $19-$49, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5890

*

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

MATT DRISCOLL Editor and Self-made Hundredaire
I'll be dropping by the Northwest Convergence Zone podcast Sunday for my monthly visit with Darrell and the gang. I got real high a few months back and dreamed up this alt-sport/entertainment column - Cup Check. Amazingly it managed to come to fruition. Now I go on the Convergence Zone once a month and pimp the thing, which typically results in some pretty entertaining podcast fun. This week, Darrell tells me Paul Skansi will be calling in - I SHIT YOU NOT! Former Seahawk Paul Skansi ... Should be pretty cool.

STEPH DEROSA: Person, Place or Thing Correspondent
This weekend I plan on writing a haiku about the late rapper, Eazy-E.  In it I will try to refrain from using the word "fuck." Wish me luck.

*

BRETT CIHON Meat Market Correspondent
I have a full weekend of Meat Market. On Friday evening I'm headed to O'Henry's Pub in Puyallup to check out the action. Saturday, I plan to watch the Hawks game in the afternoon then cruise on over to the Lakewood Denny's. Probably won't be much dancing, but I received a hot tip that the Denny's might make for great Meat Market fodder. Even if it's a bust, I'll still get to order a Grand Slam. Things are looking up.

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
Looking forward to a great weekend! Friday the hubby and I are going house hunting - it's a buyer's market out there, and we're gonna see what Oly has to offer. Friday night I'm mixing up martinis, shooters and such. Saturday brings me back to the bar, serving up happy hour while watching football. And Sunday is reserved for reading books and writing articles.

JOE IZENMAN Music/Theater Critic
Let's see... Seahawks playoff game on Saturday, poker game with beer draft Saturday night, DnD Sunday... I'm not sure I can survive any more excitement than that, but if I find a way, it'll probably involve movies at the Grand, returning Christmas presents and buying birthday presents. Because I'm hardcore like that.

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
I've been thinking about having some down time and this weekend sounds as good as any other time. Translation? I got no plans other than sticking as close to home and my occasionally-rolling little son as possible.

JENNIFER JOHNSON: Lifestyle/Leisure Writer
Dinner and intellectually stimulating games on Friday evening. Yoga and kickboxing on Saturday morning, gonna shake, shake, shake it Saturday night.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
I'll be in tech rehearsals for Frost/Nixon at Tacoma Little Theatre most of the weekend, but I am planning to attend two different board game nights--by which I mean orgies!  By which I mean board game nights.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Photographer
Hitting Stanley and Seafort's for my dad's birthday Friday and then the Bull Market at Paradise Bowl for a shoot of Ladies Night.

*

ALEC CLAYTON: Visual Arts Critic
 Nothing doing this weekend except PFLAG-Olympia meeting.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

FRIDAY, JAN. 7, 2011 >>>

1. In Olympia, the King's birthday has become synonymous with one man: Robert Washington - one of the world's top Elvis impersonators (see the film Almost Elvis) ... and a guy who just happens to be black. To some this is controversial. To Washington, it's simply his calling. "I don't really think about it. I'm not going to let my color prevent me from being the best," Washington told the Weekly Volcano in 2004. At 7:30 p.m. Washington will be back in Oly for the Elvis Birthday Bash at the Capitol Theater.

2. The Puyallup Home, Remodeling and Garden Show will assist homeowners in all stages of remodeling, landscaping and decorating their homes, with hundreds of exhibits, and product demonstrations, plus new products and expert advice from the pros from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Crowds will flow through gardens and around hottubs, yearn for kitsch, and fall prey to every kind of huckster. You know who you are.

3. Tacoma Little Theatre hosts To the Sea, two new short plays performed by an ensemble from Western Washington University at 7:30 p.m. Dr. Rich Brown directs the one-hour program, which includes a short play by Dan Erickson (Convention seen at TLT's 2009 festival of new works) and former TLT playwright-in-residence, Bryan Willis.

4. The Tacoma Comedy Club is off and running with a full head of steam, drawing national touring comics to the Gritty City on an almost weekly basis. Hell, the club even booked Skippy from Family Ties. This week, Clinton Jackson will be holed up, doling out the laughs to anyone interested. Sure, your kids might recognize Jackson from appearances on That's So Raven or iCarly, but we all know a good comic never turns down a little Nickelodeon money. You can't hold it against him. Check him out tonight at 8 and 10 p.m.

5. Things traditionally slow down for shows in the South Sound around this time of year, but don't worry, there are still some great places to dunk yer whiskers into some suds without any fear of encountering pesky MySpace kids and a DJ trying to sneak in a Smiths tune on ya. At 8 p.m., Olympia's home of absinthe - the Cryptatropa Bar - hosts DJs spinning metal. Satan, laughing, spreads his wings, oh Lord, yeah!

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Subscribe to our Restaurant RSS feed

TUESDAY, JAN. 4, 2011 >>>

1. On weekends all the bartenders are in a bad mood because people are forgetting to tip them and throwing toilet paper around the bathroom. However, Tuesday is when a neighborhood bar wipes its brow and smiles. But it can take a little coaxing to get your fellow officey friends to come with you on a Tuesday. How to break them down? Bingo! Every Tuesday from 7-9 Mama Glo hosts barstool bingo at Gloria's Bar & Grill in Tacoma. It's Glorious.

2. Tim Hall will host an open jam at the Summit Pub in Puyallup tonight. If a Tuesday night open jam at the Summit Pub doesn't scream for some top-notch blues - the kind Hall is known to provide - we don't know what does.

3. Be honest. The holidays didn't go well for you. Shake off some of that anger tonight at Jazzbones during Ha Ha Tuesday - as always, hosted by Ralph Porter. Tonight's headliner is Brett J, and also features comic Ash-Ley Deon. DJ Omar spins after the show.

4. Elvis' annual birthday celebration is just around the corner. You can just smell those peanut butter and friend banana sandwiches, can't you? Warm you Elvis-loving ass up with Danny Vernon's Illusions Of Elvis show at 6:30 p.m. inside the Red wind Casino.

5. How are you doing with those two turntables and a microphone you scored for Christmas? Ready for the bing time? While your name – DJ Scratch-n-Sniff might not knock anyone over, your DJ skills might. Test them out tonight during Gruv Lounge's Open Deck Night beginning at 8 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Be the first to know when we post theater reviews

LET'S DO THIS 2011 THING >>>

Ah, the sweet artificiality of the New Year - the reassurance of a clean calendar, of resolutions for self-improvement. And then you pick up the newspaper, and that pure artifice of the change of year, that vagarious demarcation of another arbitrary moment, is rendered meaningless by the inexorably continuing chains of events that know no boundaries defined by pages in a calendar. (Remember, the Chinese and the Jews have their own calendars, no less arbitrary, no more meaningful.)  It's no wonder revelers seem to work so hard trying to have a good time as the countdowns begin.

We here at the Weekly Volcano and Spew hope you had a nice holiday season and we wish you the best all year around.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 29 >>>

1. Koz of Konfuzion will rock the fuck out of Hell's Kitchen tonight in Tacoma along with Airpocalypse, Tangent, Knowledge of Trees, All Eyes Closed and 3 Smokin Barrels. And if you're in attendance, they'll rock the fuck out of you too. We mean, seriously - look at the dude in the bottom right hand corner of that photo up there. If that's not the face of someone getting the fuck rocked out of them, we don't know what is. There's no cover with a non-perishable food donation.

2. It's free bingo night at Applini's Two Clean and Sober Club in Puyallup. Naturally, it's all ages - because bingo and sobriety cannot be constricted by age. The rowdiness starts at 6 p.m.

3. Tacoma loves Maurice the Fish Records. There's good reason. Tonight, in a routine bar regulars have warmly embraced, there's another Maurice the Fish Records showcase at the Tempest Lounge on Hilltop. It's perfect Wednesday night activity material.

4. Knitting alone is sad. Group knitting is hot. Today, check out the group knitting at Tacoma Art Place. Info can be found here.

5. You're coming up on the last weekend to catch Zoolights and Fantasy Lights in Spanaway. Both yearly endeavors will shut it down for the year after Sunday. This evening would be a nice time to take the family out and see some bright shiny things ... if you're not already sick and tired of the holidays, that is.

HO HO HO >>

Every year our Christmas dinner has one flaw.  We have no gripes about eating the same menu annually - ham with cherry sauce, green bean casserole, twice-baked potatoes, and freshly baked rolls. It's the Jell-O salad that gets us. 

Our mom makes a strange concoction of dark cherry Jell-O with Coca-Cola and bits of cream cheese, which is not as bad as it sounds, but she serves us a slab on top of a piece of iceberg lettuce.  The lettuce is our mom's way of dressing up a barren salad plate, but the lettuce taste is transferred to the Jell-O.  We end up eating lettuce-flavored Jell-O, and trust us we've protested. 

As we gather around the Christmas dinner table with family and friends - feeling fortunate to even have food, family and friends - no doubt we'll have Jell-O on lettuce again.  We'll eat it, with a smile

What ever this day brings you, the Weekly Volcano staff wishes you a merry one. As always, thanks for reading, commenting and joining the fun. Cheers!

This week ...

Place: Forza Coffee - Puyallup

Opened: Dec. 8, 2006

Nickname: P-Town Forza

Staff: 13 peeps, average age 21, average height 5 feet 9 inches

Franchise owners: Bryan Reynolds and family

Drive-thru: No

Store sales ranking: #1 out of 25 total stores

Most drinks made by one employee in one hour: 174

Busiest day of the year: Puyallup Santa Parade

Caffeinated drink challenge: The Happy Trail

Total number of innuendos made during conversation: 16

Percentage of conversation actually relevant to coffee: 2 percent

The doors open at P-Town Forza and immediately loud, welcoming voices holler greetings to customers - most of them by name. Deliberately overstaffed, every team member at the Puyallup Forza has a place and position. Cups go flying, a sort of Forza-ese occurs and before you know it you're handed a hot cup o' Joe and given some ridiculous (yet endearing) nickname which they will totally remember to call you upon return to their store.  And trust me, you will return. 

"The success of this store is about the people. It's as much theirs as it is mine," owner Bryan Reynolds admits.

Not only is every female on staff utterly charming, but their male counterparts are just as lovable. Reynolds recruits employees mainly based on personality, and they have stories to tell as they gather around Reynolds and me during our giddy conversation. Take for instance Jonathan Angle, of '80s cover band D'Elegance, Jason Jones (single, 6 feet tall and made of 220 pounds lean muscle mass - hello, ladies!) and Alex Marden who did not "gather ‘round", but instead continued to work while heckling us from behind the espresso machine.  All had me in stitches with random, hilarious footnotes. I think I either impressed or scared them with my ability to turn almost anything into an innuendo. 

Before leaving my newfound friends, I insisted Reynolds re-instate his infamous $10 drink challenge called "The Happy Trail." In order to complete said challenge, you must drink in one fell swoop: one single shot of espresso, one 10-ounce drip coffee with cream and sugar and one Tahitian Sunrise, which consists of one Full Throttle energy drink and many pumps of flavored syrup.

Once again I encourage you to partake in a gluttonous dietary feat strictly for my entertainment. Let me know when you're going to reach your happy trail at P-Town Forza and I'll be there with camera in hand.

[Forza Coffee,210 West Pioneer # 101, Puyallup, 253.435.6087]

Other "Person, Place or Thing" columns ...

LINK: Spartacus T. Ladle of Infinite Soups

LINK: Louie G's Pizzeria "Little Italy" Pizza Challenge

LINK: Aaron Tumale, dough-tosser at The Rock Wood Fired Pizza & Spirits

SWAYZE IS BIG IN PUYALLUP >>>

The night starts out when Frank convinces me and Dalton to head down to Jackson, Missouri. We work the door at Frank's rough-and-tumble nightclub; Dalton using his fists to do a bit of house cleaning. Then Dalton meets this hottie blonde doctor, but of course that jackass Wesley has to ruin things by. ...

Wait. I'm sorry. I'm describing the 1989 bust-‘em-up film Road House, not the Roadhouse Tavern on South Hill ...

TEASE: Read Cihon's account of Puyallup's Roadhouse Tavern in this Thursday's Meat Market section of the Weekly Volcano.

UNTIL THEN: Watch this bit of awesomeness ...

SATURDAY, NOV. 27, 2010 >>>

1. The other white meat: Ignore the naysayers and the uninitiated who lump pigeons together with squirrels and rats.  From 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., more than 200 pigeon loyalists will group hug at the Puyallup Fairgrounds to compare feather adornments or race at the Northwest Winter Pigeon Classic, all in the name of identifying and extolling the most ideal birds.  Weekly Volcano music columnist Bobble Tiki will be there, too. He'll be the one with the box, stick and string. 

2. With no discernable positive qualities other than dimples and rock-hard abs, Mario Lopez, who still manages to live a life of D-List celebrity, will be at the South Hill Mall in Puyallup for a meet and greet with fans from 1-3 p.m. Lopez will be joined by his wife, Courtney Mazza, which makes a lot of sense since she's the by-default co-star of Mario's new VH1 reality series Saved by the Baby. Get it? Because he used to be A.C. Slater? Get it?

3. Guaranteed to be the hautest handbag event of the year, artist Lynn Di Nino  curates Bags With Purse-onality, a group invitational show at Sandpiper Gallery through Dec. 31. Kay Dallal, Marse Lear, Di Morgan-Graves, Elayne Vogel and Chris Wooten have created purses, handbags and totes with wearable sculpture in mind, and they host a preview party from 2-5 p.m. Bagnificent!

4. Some things simply beg for parody. In the case of many movies made during the ‘60s and ‘70s, that meant Mad magazine's adaptation overtook any memory of the films' realities. Remember opening the pages to the sight of Julie Andrews as Maria in The Sound of Music skipping toward the hapless reader, suitcase in hand, dirndl skirt afloat, ready to sing her little heart out? So like the original ad for the 1965 film, but somehow ... crazier. The singing family, the feel-good anti-Naziism - what kind of culture would produce such a thing? Welcome to the distilled reality of "Sing-a-Long Sound of Music." What began as a Rocky Horror-style wheeze in England has become an international phenomenon, complete with subtitled song lyrics so that each and every audience member can be a von Trapp for a day. Hitch on your lederhosen and frolic down to the Pantages Theater at 3 p.m. and twirl. The annual downtown Tacoma Christmas tree lighting will follow at 6 p.m. just outside the Pantages.

5. Comedian Marc Price performs at 8 p.m. inside the Tacoma Comedy Club. Yes, it's Skippy.

LINK: It's Art at work month!

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound