JAMES FRANCO AND HIS UTILITY TOOL >>>

127 Hours, a film directed by Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire), is the movie adaptation of a real-life story you probably heard about - rock climber Aron Ralston's decision to saw  off his own arm in order to save his life after becoming trapped by a boulder near Moab, Utah. Later, he wrote a book about the ordeal - the aptly titled Between A Rock and a Hard Place. As far as legitimate drama goes, the story is full of it - and James Franco's performance as Ralston has been called Oscar-worthy by some.

127 Hours will open at the Grand Cinema in Tacoma tomorrow. According to Roger Ebert, it's a surprisingly entertaining film. Here's a tease to tickle your intrigue.

"LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS" OPENS WEDNESDAY >>>

Because we know how much he loves romantic comedies, Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway and anything involving erections lasting longer than four hours, we recently sent our in-house film critic, the Rev. Adam McKinney, out to a screening of Love and Other Drugs - which opens Wednesday at theaters in the area.

While you'll have to wait until this week's Volcano hits the street to read McKinney's full review, until then here's the movie's cheesy trailer to get your rom-com blood pumping.

MONDAY, NOV. 22, 2010 >>>

1. Roots reggae describes a style that began taking off on the world stage in the early '70s; by the time it hit the pop charts with Bob Marley, numerous Jamaican studios and producers were regularly adding to the genre's already enormous discography. The cornerstone of that legacy was Studio One, known as the Motown of Jamaica. Founded by Coxsone Dodd in the late '50s, Studio One gave birth to legends such as Marley and the Wailers, Lee Perry, Burning Spear and Dennis Brown. DJ Jason Diamond spins roots reggae every Monday at 9 p.m. inside O'Malley's Irish Pub. Check it out, mon.

2. Shopping-mall North Poles have long been accused of harboring bad Christmas tidings: pinched hindquarters, peppermint-schnapps breath, bribery to skip the line and go straight to the lap. And that's just the elves. Certainly, the North Pole inside The Commons in Federal Way isn't like that. Bring the little ones to see Santa from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.

3. Mandolin Cafe hosts an Open Mic at 6 p.m. with Denny Foreman and friends.

4. The theme for the Tacoma Cult Movie Club screenings tonight is "Talking Turkey." We have no idea what that means, but EXCITING! As always, besides the main theme flicks, TCMC screens trailers and shorts serials, as well as holds a raffle. It all goes down at 7 p.m. inside the Acme Grub Cage.

5. Imperial Dragon Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. The 16-piece S.R.O. swing bandwill play jazz from '30s and '40s from 7-9 p.m. inside the Imperial Dragon restaurant on Sixth Avenue.

LINK: It's Art at Work month!

LINK: More art and entertainment events in the South Sound

Hi! Welcome to Petty Questions - a new advice column about trivial things. Let's get started.

QUESTION #1

Volcanoes are always trying to jack my swag. How can I protect my swag, without sacrificing that which makes me love volcanoes? 
-Bemused In Bellingham

BIB, you're playing me for a fool. If I wanted someone to sell me snake oil I'd go back in time with machines. Let's cut the carp fish.

There are no volcanoes trying to jack your swag. I say that with almost a lot of certainty.

It's completely physically unlikely, one. And two, even if there were any volcanoes actively trying to steal from you, why not put on an extra deadbolt and store your diamonds in a safety deposit box? They call it that because it's secure from everything.

You could've come up with that. You probably did already. Do I look like an idiot for answering your question now? Sure. Does making me look like an idiot make you look like a double idiot? I really hope so in all honesty, BIB, prankster.

Please take this seriously. I look so stupid now. If you're not going to be responsible and mature and nice, well then-go forget yourself. And I mean that.

QUESTION #2

My ignorance concerning popular culture is absurd, be it of music, movies, or even television. How might I acclimate myself to the world of pop culture and acquire the necessary trivia to impress my friends at parties?
-Still Watches Seinfeld

Here's all you need to know about stuff.

Television: "Seinfeld," good. "Monty Python," good. British TV in general, worse than you would think. "Curb Your Enthusiasm," good. British TV comedy writer Armando Iannucci, underrated in the US. "I'm Alan Partridge" starring Steve Coogan and produced by Armando Iannucci, take my word that it's completely worth it. "Two and a Half Men," cannot compare with anything written by Armando Iannucci (b. November 28, 1963).

Music: Rolling Stones, They Might Be Giants, LCD Soundsystem, Joy Division, New Order, ELO, The Kinks, Leonard Cohen, Lily Allen, The Magnetic Fields, The Wainwrights/McGarrigles, The National, Neil Young, Of Montreal, Randy Newman, Regina Spektor, Radiohead, Spoon, Steely Dan-awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome. But have you ever heard of The Beatles? They did a Led cover once.

(Did you know? Armando Iannucci is actually Scottish.)

Movies: Here's what it comes down to. Are you a Truffaut freak or a Brooks brother? Wes Andersonian or Michael Bay-esque? Because it's alright to like different kinds of movies. It's our tastes and personalities that make us unique.

(Who wrote the critically-acclaimed hit comedy about political (dys)functionaries, "In the Loop?" Armando Iannucci wrote and directed this movie.)

But how do you use all this data-infotainment? Watch:

You: Hi, lady. (wink)

Lady: Hello, cool guy.

You: Quick question. Do you happen to enjoy the finer things in life, including but not limited to deluxe love? (wink)

Lady: (wink)

This way you don't ever even need to bring up all the pop culture you don't understand. Before I forget, Twitter is pretty big because it does all sorts of convenient tasks I think.

Say though that you are forced at gunpoint to talk about all this popul. cult. That's how parties go every now and then. Well, do I have a suggestion for you!

Somebody somewhere wrote a book about how to talk about books you've never read, mostly in case you run into a party by accident. That somebody is Pierre Bayard and the book is "How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read" (Bloomsbury; $14.96 Amazon.com).

Personally, I'd suggest reading that book instead of reading this lousy column. Bayard is so smart they allowed him to write a book. I only have enough wits to write for the best alternative weekly in the whole South Sound, the number one competitor with The Stranger in lobbies all across this dirt-in-your-eyes, can-do, takin'-names, DIY town we call The Grits-Tacoma. My rag sheet is the Weekly Volcano, and it's enough for me. So play it safe, listen to a sophisticated Seattilite on this one. I'm sure his education will pay off more than my meager two cents.

If you'll excuse me, I have to go work with my hands, for pay.

(To be clear legally: Pierre Bayard is not from Seattle, or Washington. He is from France. Owen Bates was born in Seattle and likes to take day-trips there. He is afraid of touching things with his hands, even safe normal things.)

Coming up next week in Act II: roommates. You can't live with them, at least in certain cities. Well, that's pretty much the whole preview.

Please direct questions to: askpettyquestions@gmail.com.

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 17>>>

1. Add "slam" to almost anything and it becomes just a little cooler. In truth, however, the event planned for tonight at the Rialto Theater in Tacoma - Art Slam - really doesn't need anything to spice it up. Expect art of all kinds, coming at you from all directions. Expect projected works by the likes of RR Anderson, Laurie Davenport, Brad Dinsmore, Carla Barragan, Shirley Benton, Colleen Black and a ton of others. Expect live spoken word, music and dance from Antonio Edwards Jr., Josh Rizeberg, Elliot Trotter, Dawn De Castillo, Tammy Robacker and - yes - more. It's non-competitive, super-awesome, and it starts at 7 p.m.

2. Join author Judith Adler Hellman at the University of Puget Sound's Wheelock Student Center for a lecture on Mexican immigration. The author of three books on Mexico, Hellman's lecture is titled, "The Real World of Mexican Migrants," and will provided insights into the experiences immigrants from Mexico face in this country - from the trip itself to work in an "informal economy."

3. Duane Hulbert performs the Piano Concerto No.4. tonight at Tacoma Community College. Busting out two of Beethoven's most impressive works, the Grammy nominated UPS piano professor will be joined by the TCC Orchestra, who will hold their own with Symphony No. 5 in c minor.

4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 hits theaters Friday. In fact, the Volcano's film critic Rev. Adam McKinney has already seen it - with his review scheduled to run in tomorrow's paper. Tonight, The Brave Foundation hosts what sounds like an epic Harry Potter themed celebration at the Temple Theater in Tacoma. From 6:30-9:30 p.m., costume contests, prizes, guest appearances, total geek outs, and a showing of the previous Harry Potter flick will rile the masses in anticipation of Deathly Hallows' debut.

5. Get your groove on close to the water tonight, as DJ Contagious spins at Rock the Dock's "Old School College Wednesdays."

TODAY AT THE OLYMPIA FILM FESTIVAL >>>

Zach Carlson and Bryan Connolly, editors of Destroy All Movies!!!: The Compolete Guide to Punks on Film, will screen two films highlighted in their book – Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (1981) and Times  Square (1982) at 7:30 p.m. inside the Capitol Theater as part of the 27th Annual Olympia Film Festival. Ladies and Gentlemen features a teenage Diane Lane going from generic teen to a fishnet-clad quasi punk rocker with some serious eye makeup. Times Square follows two teenage girls who set New York on fire in the ultimate street punk battle cry.

It's not exactly great cinema, but it's totally enticing viewing.

Side note: You might recognize the names Carlson and Connolly from previous OFF All Freakin' Night horror film marathons, which is part of this year's festival, too.

LINK: Today's OFF films

SUNDAY, NOV. 14, 2010 >>>

1. There sure are a lot of film festivals out there, all pompous and bloated, stretching out through days or even weeks with "a bunch of great films." Well, The Swiss Film Festival - packing itself into three short hours tonight beginning at 7 p.m. inside The Swiss - is having none of it. What kind of film festival can you have in only three freakin' hours, you ask? Well, one featuring two films.  In this case, the homemade It Don't Rain on Sunny Days and A Glitch in the System. As if that wasn't enough, Doug Mackey will host the event, which also includes special guest Buddy Budman. If nothing else, there'll be a lot of booze on hand.

2. Vince Guaraldi's iconic jazz score will fill The Grand Cinema beginning at 10 a.m. when the Dugan Foundation presents A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and A Charlie Brown Christmas. The movie is free with one can of pet food or supplies. The Weekly Volcano will be there dancing like Chuck's classmates in the aisles.

3. Eight-time Olympic medalist and former Dancing with the Stars champion Apolo Ohno will sign his book, Zero Regrets, at 1 p.m. inside the Costco in Federal Way.

4. The Tacoma Youth Symphony leaves the gray, wet South Sound for "A Night in Madrid" at 3 p.m. inside the Rialto Theater. The concert will feature music by Manuel de Falla, Isaac Albeniz and guitarist Michael Partington in Rodrigo's Concierto de Aranjuez. 

5. Rich Wetzel's Groovin Higher Orchestra will drop in on Stonegate Pizza jazz-rock to rock and jazz dinner show from 5-8pm.

LINK: Tacoma Art at Work events

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

FRIDAY, NOV. 12, 2010 >>>

1. This one's so big they're literally going to shut down the street in front of the Capitol Theater. Help launch the 27th Annual Olympia Film Festival in style beginning at 5 p.m. at its Opening Night Gala. Acrobats, artists, dancers, freaks, psychics and geeks are promised - along with the unmatchable Romanteek and a showing of Fritz Lang's ultra-classic Metropolis. It's going to rule. Trust us. And it kicks off nine days of Olympia Film Fest magic.

2. The Tacoma Weavers' Guild celebrates its 75 anniversary with a huge textile show opening today inside Handforth Gallery and historical displays in the Northwest Room - both at the Tacoma Public Library Main Branch from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. What originated around campfires hundreds and thousands of years ago lives on as an important art form. And the Tacoma Weavers' Guild's show isn't just for weavers. It's really for anyone that loves fiber. And we're not talking about Wheaties, folks.

3. Poet Jody Zorgdrager will take the spotlight at 7 p.m. for the monthly Distinguished Writer Series gathering inside King's Books. After Zorgdrager demonstrates why she's been published in numerous journals, the floor opens up for everyone to lay some words down.

4. Comedian Geoff Lott performs at 8:30 pm. inside the Big Whisky Saloon as part of the Tacoma Comedy Underground show.

5. Rare Groove, a night of intelligent soul, funk, jazz and rare grooves spun by DJs Bobby Galaxy and dAb every second Friday of the month, kicks off at 9 p.m. inside the Tempest Lounge.

LINK: The Furniture Series dance performance is in The Weekend Hustle

LINK: Tacoma Art at Work events

LINK: Concerts go on sale today

LINK: New movies open today

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

SOUTH SOUND ARTS COVERAGE IN THIS WEEK'S VOLCANO >>>

Eclectic showcase: The 27th Annual Olympia Film Festival delivers nine straight days of goodness by Nikki Talotta

Sweet and morbid: Justin Hillgrove shows at Mineral gallery by Alec Clayton

Comforting cheese: Almost, Maine marks a serious, enjoyable about-face for Gold From Straw Theater Company by Joe Izenman

Worthy of Welles: University of Puget Sound stuns with The Cradle Will Rock by Christian Carvajal

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

ENJOYING ART AT WORK MONTH IN THE DARK >>>

As of this posting, only 20 days remain of Art At Work, which has Tacoma cramming its every cranny with arts-related activities throughout November - which includes film. You will find something watchable among the eclectic batch of films planned for the coming weeks.

Maybe future literary historians will dub the last decade "Harry Potter Era." Sorcerer's Stone came out in 2001, and next summer's Deathly Hollows: Part Two closes out the monolithic franchise. Until then, HP fans can unite (hopefully in costume) at the Moore Library this Saturday Nov. 13, 1-4 p.m., for a free Half-Blood screening [place clever inside joke here].

Hitchcock always finds his way back to our town; eventually we all reacquaint ourselves with his films. Vertigo may have puzzled critics and fans upon its 1958 release, but today this deeply moving film about desire and identity ranks among the director's masterworks, and for me one of the greatest films. It plays at 3 p.m. Nov. 14 in Broadway Center's Theatre on the Square.

Last month the History Museum began a new series, Community Cinema Tacoma, making it one of only 75 venues in the country screening diverse documentaries before they air on PBS's acclaimed Independent Lens. Deep Down's tale of a Kentucky community in schism over a coal mine has "universal applications," says public programs curator Susan Rohrer. She looks forward to a good turnout at 6 p.m. Nov. 18 for Deep Down.

On Nov. 20, The Grand Cinema continues its long-running Click! Family Flick program. This month's free installment is 2004's star-studded feature Shark Tale. Take the kids and show them Scorsese voicing a fish with massive digital eyebrows. It begins at 10:30 a.m.

Thirty-five years ago a film called The Sound of Music forever changed our views on singing nuns. About his ebullient costar Christopher Plummer commented: "Working with [Julie Andrews] is like being hit over the head by a Valentine's Day card." Yes, Nov. 27's Sing-Along at the Pantages will be unbearably saccharine, but how else can do you expect us to fend off National Socialism without deploying dance and three-part harmony? It begins at 3 p.m. followed by the downtown tree lighting at 6.

LINK: More Tacoma Art at Work events