SUNDAY, DEC. 12, 2010 >>>

1. This time of year heralds many things, including Seasonal Affective Disorder, ugly sweaters, Rankin Bass TV specials and, for music aficionados, the sweated-over year-end "best of" lists. In a similar spirit, Tacoman Andrew Childs has assembled his own Best of Tacoma 2010 compilation CD, which he'll be releasing at The New Frontier Lounge beginning at 6 p.m. To commemorate the release, Brotherhood of the Black Squirrel will perform, comp artist Trees Without Leaves will make their live debut, a piñata (courtesy of the crafty "Tacoma Gets Smashed") will be destroyed in faux-effigy, all proceeds will go to charity, and there will be an ugly sweater contest. Because, you know, the holidays.

2. It's the night before Christmas inside the Olympia Little Theater - at 1:55 p.m. – so the story begins in darkness, both literal and metaphorical. Jacob Marley, played with empathy by Christopher Cantrell, is in Hell. Providentially, there's a way out, but it's nigh on impossible: He must find a way to get Ebenezer Scrooge (Dennis Rolly), the only man in London stingier than himself, to recognize the error of his ways by Christmas morning.

3. Celebrate the holiday season with the South Sound Classical Choir as they "Bring Light to Our World with Song," singing holiday favorites old and new, and featuring works by Mendelssohn, Faure, Bach, Rutter, Lauridsen, Ticheli and more beginning at 3 p.m. inside the First United Methodist Church of Tacoma.

4. The D.A.S.H. Center's winter recital/fundraiser dinner show begins at 4 p.m. inside the REACH/Goodwill Industries Building. The $10 admission fee goes to help support the center's mission of bringing quality arts education to under-served youth at an economically efficient price.  

5. The Tacoma Cult Movie Club is a collective of people who enjoy cinema on the outer fringe of the spectrum. They'll convene at 7 p.m. inside the Acme Grub Cage to enjoy a double feature based on a theme "It Came from Japan" with assorted shorts, trailers, film serials, and the lifeblood of the TCMC: the raffle.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

MOVIES THAT DIDN'T SUCK THIS YEAR ... KINDA >>>

I've had the bittersweet duty of reviewing movies for the Weekly Volcano since April. In that time, I've been forced to witness more than my share of cinematic atrocities. Who could forget Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore in 3D? I certainly can't. Much like young Alex in A Clockwork Orange, a strong physical reaction is summoned in my stomach every time I recall Paws and his steel jaws. *

Or how about A Nightmare on Elm Street, which looms so large in my memory as not only my first official film review, but perhaps the worst thing to ever happen to me, ever, ever, ever ...

These unfortunate occurrences should, in theory, be balanced out by some good film-going experiences. Yet, as I sit and try to think of what I reviewed this year and what could, potentially, occupy a space on a year-end best-of list, I'm coming up awfully short. I find myself reaching back to movies like The Karate Kid and-if you can believe it-Step Up 3D (which may end up being the most fun I've had at the movies this year).

Unquestionably, my favorite movie of the year has been The Social Network, with Scott Pilgrim vs. The World coming in a close second. I was impressed with Inception after I saw it, but it has faded from my memory in the months since (as I expected it might).

This can't be all there is, right? Certainly, I've missed certain movies that show at the Grand Cinema or Capitol Theater, but I should think that, even then, my eight months reviewing films would have produced something that stands out more than Step Up 3D.

With just a couple weeks left of reviewing films in 2010, The Fighter and True Grit are still to come. Anything to round out a year of mostly disappointments, if not catastrophic failures ...

I'm looking at you, Secretariat.

*I mean, goddammit, Jaws was called Jaws because he had steel jaws, so why does Paws have steel jaws and not steel paws?! Erg, I'm feeling sick...

CHEEKBONE ALERT >>>

Typically, or at least as much as possible, we send our very own Rev. Adam McKinney out to big movie screenings so he can review them for you here in the Volcano. McKinney is one of our area's only remaining local film critics, so it's something we take a great deal of pride in. Plus, he bagged the shit out of Ben Affleck's The Town, which is pretty respectable.

That said, when McKinney attempted to get into a recent screening of The Tourist, starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie and opening this week, he was denied at the door - told he simply wasn't sexy enough to make the cut ... something about the pout of his lips lacking punch. Talk about harsh.

So, as a backup plan we've called on our old friend Roger Ebert - who will be providing his review of The Tourist in this week's paper. Apparently, a hyper-active Twitter account is very sexy these days.

In any regard, here's a peak at the movies' trailer to get your juices flowing Talk about sex appeal!

TUESDAY, DEC. 7, 2010 >>>

1. If you're looking for a celluloid high, check out the 35^th annual Banff Mountain Film Festival at 7 p.m. inside the Rialto Theater. The festival features the best in "mountain" film from all over the world, from white water to heli-kayaking, summitting a high peak to mastering fresh powder.

2. Check out the Northwest Pastel Society's 24^th Annual International Open Exhibition from 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. inside the American Art Company in downtown Tacoma.

3. Madera Architectural Elements has artisan made gifts less than $100 through the holiday season. Stop by their showroom at 2210 Court A in downtown Tacoma to score original pieces from local artisans.

4. Project:U, the United Way of Pierce County program run by 20- and 30-somethings, is hosting a fundraiser and toy drive from 4-10 p.m. at CORK! A Wine Bar.  The Sixth Avenue wine bar will donate 20 percent of all sales proceeds from tonight to the United Way of Pierce County in the fight to improve the lives of all in Pierce County. Awesome.

5. DJ Omar spins after the comedy show at 10 p.m. inside Jazzbones.

LINK: More arts and entertainment ideas in the South Sound

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Partly sunny, hi 46, lo 33

Saturday: Partly sunny, hi 43, lo 34

Sunday: Partly sunny, noticing a pattern here, hi 55, lo 38

>>> THURSDAY, DEC. 2-FRIDAY, DEC. 3: THE CASH FLOW SHOW III

This year marks Cash Flow Show III, but the package is as tight as ever. Local artists you know and love, slinging a bounty of artistic goodness priced at $25 or less, will set up shop and give you an even better-than-normal excuse to skip the malls: Help Grit City's creative types enjoy a holiday season that includes more than pocket lint and Top Ramen. Because, you know, you're supporting their work with actual money. It's a win-win.

• Mad Hat Tea Company, 1130 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.441.2111

>>> SATURDAY, DEC. 4: DOXOLOGY

The Revolution is coming. No, I'm not talking about when anarchy takes control, the roads devolve into some sort of Mad Max scenario and R.R. Anderson finally gets the recognition he deserves; rather, I'm talking about Doxology's new record, The Revolution, which the band will officially celebrate the release of Saturday at Jazzbones. Always, ALWAYS a crowd pleaser, there's simply no reason Doxology's brand of ear-friendly, modern, new school pop rock shouldn't steal the show and carry the night. Put simply, Doxology, led by frontman Luke McPherson, is the kind of band the ultra-cool may not have the balls to endorse, but there's no doubt the band has mastered its craft and has all the tools necessary to sweat up the dance floor. Expect a lot of bodies, and a lot of new tunes from a band Tacoma has shown definite affection for in the past. 

• Jazzbones, with Roman Holiday, 8 p.m., $10-$12, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169

>>> SATURDAY, DEC.4-SUNDAY, DEC. 5: SOUNDS OF THE SEASON

Fight as you may, it's officially "the season." Kids are already sitting on various Santa laps at malls across the country, and A Christmas Story is probably already re-running on TBS. The Tacoma Symphony Orchestra and Chorus will spend Saturday and Sunday at the Pantages Theater doling out "beloved" seasonal music, a few "familiar classics" and a maxed-out credit card full of sing-along enjoyment for the whole family. Here's one holiday favorite undeserving of a bah humbug.

• Pantages Theater, 7:30 p.m. Saturday, 2:30 p.m. Sunday, $24-$77, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.5890

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

MATT DRISCOLL Editor (aka - the guy to blame)
So much to do, so little time ... We've got a birthday party for a four year old to attend Saturday afternoon - which jibes nicely with the Apple Cup, let me tell you what. The parents at our fancy preschool just don't give football the respect it deserves. After that, we'll Christmas tree hunt, purchase pallets of stuff at Costco, run to Fife so I can buy cigarettes, write letters to Santa, avoid the malls, and generally lay low - in no particular order. Sunday evening I'll be stopping by the Northwest Convergence Zone Podcast to catch up with Darrell Fortune and the gang once again - my monthly appearance on the show to pimp the Cup Check column.

RON SWARNER Publisher
Friday night I'll hangout with tattoo types at the Blue Mouse Theatre getting loaded on rum punch and learning about the life of Sailor Jerry, the aesthetic vanguard who valued and embraced the mastery of Japanese tattooing. Saturday, after I wrestle with outdoor Christmas lights, the Lovely Kate and I will check out Kim Archer at Maxwell's Speakeasy, then head over to the Girl Trouble Christmas Show at the New Frontier to see how the holiday season is treating KP's physique. I hope the band will hurl Wig Out magazines into the crowd. Sunday, I'll drop by the Friends of the Holidays show at The Swiss.

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Features Writer
Friday, I'll probably be seeing Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry at the Blue Mouse. It is advertised as being 21+, which I hope means that there will be lots of rum available. Afterward, I'll hustle (pun!) on down to the New Frontier for the Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside show. She was a definite highlight at Squeak & Squawk, so I'm excited to see her again. As for the rest of the weekend, I can assure you that booze will be involved.

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
This Saturday my baby boy is turning five! Lots of craziness going down at Chuck E Cheeses. Cake, pizza, creepy mechanical rock show, and the newest edition - a booth where the birthday kid can try and catch as many flying tickets as possible. If I survive the birthday bash, Sunday promises an adult shindig worth celebrating! My work X-mas party - where fancy clothes, family style Italian dinner, red wine and secret Santas all come together in a glorious gathering of love and mayhem. Cheers!

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
After my first 3 days of post maternity-leave work I'll be attending the Beautiful Angle holiday party/fundraiser at King's books on Friday night. Then I plan to sit with my son by the fire, drink cider and bask in the glow of Christmas tree lights. Also on the docket is a nap, shopping for our annual Christmas tree ornaments and pretending I'm just a wee more exciting.

JENNIFER JOHNSON: Lifestyle/Leisure Writer
A Christmas Carol at ACT Theatre in Seattle Friday. Saturday morning I'm taking advantage of free admission for Bank of America account holders day at Tacoma Art Museum followed by violin holiday concert and Festival of the Nativity that night. Sunday I'll go back to TAM for a little bit of Winterfest before heading to church.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
Well, Weekly Volcano, I'm glad you asked.  I have two rehearsals for TLT's Frost/Nixon this week, as I'm playing Bob Zelnick.  Friday is my girlfriend's office Christmas party, so I plan to behave myself (at least more than her boss).  Saturday I'm seeing Blood Relations in the Midnight Sun, and Sunday afternoon it's off to OLT for Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Correspondent
I will be out and about with the kiddos with a possible trip to the Blue Mouse Theater Saturday to see "Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole."

STEPH DEROSA Columnist
I am so busy this weekend that there is a possibility my head will explode.  Friday night Kate Swarner and I will be prepping gingerbread houses on Joint Base Lewis-McChord for the Children's Museum of Tacoma's annual Gingerbread Jamboree.  Saturday Kate and I will return bright and early with our friend Lindsey to JBLM for a day full of frosting, candy, and glorious gingerbread house decorating with families who have loved ones out of the country for the holidays.  Saturday evening we will attend yet another birthday party (I should buy stock in Barbies), and Sunday my family will be attending the original Gingerbread Jamboree at Hotel Murano without me because I will be workin' at my favorite beer store, 99 Bottles!  I'm hoping to annoy my new 99 Bottles co-workers by overusing the beer phrase "brew-ha-ha".  Let's see how long it takes.

ALEC CLAYTON: Columnist
Going to see "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" at Lakewood Playhouse.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

THE WARRIOR'S WAY OPENS THIS WEEK >>>

Note: While this is a slow week for movies, I'm just way too swamped to review a trailer for an upcoming movie. So, I've asked my 13-year-old cousin, Gavin McKinney, to review The Warrior's Way for me.

He did, and you'll be able to catch it in tomorrow's Weekly Volcano.

Until then, the trailer ...

PROMOTIONS ARE COOL >>>

The Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum Girls are hanging out at The Swiss for another 30 minutes tonight then heading over to the Gruv Lounge and Nightclub at 10 p.m. They're pumping Friday's Blue Mouse Theatre screening of Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry - the documentary of Norman "Sailor Jerry" Collins, who is famous for his place in the history of tattoo, and now gaining notoriety for the rum that bares his name. We bring this to your attention because the Jerry Girls are handing out tickets for free rum drinks tonight. The Swiss is pouring them stiff. With a name like Gruv, we can only assume the Gruv Lounge will do the same.

Sail on Sailor.

DOH!, A DEER! >>>

When you know the notes to sing
You can sing most anything."

- Rodgers & Hammerstein, "Do Re Mi"

The Weekly Volcano grabbed the last two seats for this afternoon's "Sing-A-Long-A Sound of Music inside the Pantages. "Sister Benjii Bittle is in the house! I've been waiting for ever to say that," announced Deputy Director Benjii Bittle as he welcome a packed house to the holiday event, which included nuns in the front row.

See everyone at the tree lighting in front of the Pantages at 6 p.m.

SATURDAY, NOV. 27, 2010 >>>

1. The other white meat: Ignore the naysayers and the uninitiated who lump pigeons together with squirrels and rats.  From 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., more than 200 pigeon loyalists will group hug at the Puyallup Fairgrounds to compare feather adornments or race at the Northwest Winter Pigeon Classic, all in the name of identifying and extolling the most ideal birds.  Weekly Volcano music columnist Bobble Tiki will be there, too. He'll be the one with the box, stick and string. 

2. With no discernable positive qualities other than dimples and rock-hard abs, Mario Lopez, who still manages to live a life of D-List celebrity, will be at the South Hill Mall in Puyallup for a meet and greet with fans from 1-3 p.m. Lopez will be joined by his wife, Courtney Mazza, which makes a lot of sense since she's the by-default co-star of Mario's new VH1 reality series Saved by the Baby. Get it? Because he used to be A.C. Slater? Get it?

3. Guaranteed to be the hautest handbag event of the year, artist Lynn Di Nino  curates Bags With Purse-onality, a group invitational show at Sandpiper Gallery through Dec. 31. Kay Dallal, Marse Lear, Di Morgan-Graves, Elayne Vogel and Chris Wooten have created purses, handbags and totes with wearable sculpture in mind, and they host a preview party from 2-5 p.m. Bagnificent!

4. Some things simply beg for parody. In the case of many movies made during the ‘60s and ‘70s, that meant Mad magazine's adaptation overtook any memory of the films' realities. Remember opening the pages to the sight of Julie Andrews as Maria in The Sound of Music skipping toward the hapless reader, suitcase in hand, dirndl skirt afloat, ready to sing her little heart out? So like the original ad for the 1965 film, but somehow ... crazier. The singing family, the feel-good anti-Naziism - what kind of culture would produce such a thing? Welcome to the distilled reality of "Sing-a-Long Sound of Music." What began as a Rocky Horror-style wheeze in England has become an international phenomenon, complete with subtitled song lyrics so that each and every audience member can be a von Trapp for a day. Hitch on your lederhosen and frolic down to the Pantages Theater at 3 p.m. and twirl. The annual downtown Tacoma Christmas tree lighting will follow at 6 p.m. just outside the Pantages.

5. Comedian Marc Price performs at 8 p.m. inside the Tacoma Comedy Club. Yes, it's Skippy.

LINK: It's Art at work month!

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 24, 2010 >>>

1. The Grand Cinema screens 127 Hours, the harrowing true story of Aron Ralston, a rock climber whose arm was pinned to a Utah canyon wall by a boulder, at 2, 4:30, 6:50 and 9:10 p.m. "In desperation he amputated his own arm to free himself. James Franco stars in Danny Boyle's film, which is gruesome but not QUITE too gruesome to watch. It's rather awesome what an entertaining and absorbing film Danny Boyle has made here. Yes, entertaining," says Roger Ebert, who gave the film four out of four stars.

2. For whatever reason, most of you (and us) will be up until the wee hours tonight getting hammered. Like, seriously obliterated. Because there's no way we want to wake up before the parade is over. Not this year, Philbin. There's no shortage of places that want our business, but one of the better pre-Thanksgiving bumps will be at the new Gruv Lounge and Nightclub. Local boys J-Fresh and dAb will spin during Gruv's '80s old-school night beginning at 9 p.m. It'll almost be enough to make you forget how much you hate spending time with your family.

3. You knew there was a reason to hold on to the Christmas-light-laden and obscenely geometric printed green-and-red sweater. You once thought even the one with reindeer had potential. Now it's time to explore your closets because, ladies and gentlemen, the bad holiday sweater contest is back at Doyle's Public House beginning at 7 p.m. Prizes will be awarded for individuals, couples and groups.

4. Have you ever seen a grown man draw? It's not always pretty. Sometimes, it's beautiful. Tacoma's CLAW - or Cartoonists League of Absurd Washingtonians - meets every fourth Wednesday of the month at the Amocat Café. While the CLAW meets often and mysteriously, this one is "open to the public" - when "non members can be brought and introduced to the group." Sound intriguing? Show up at 7:30 p.m. and see it live.

5. Vicci Martinez and Danny Barnes plan an 8 p.m. show at Jazzbones.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound