As soon as the Swiss started serving hard alcohol two years ago, this corner of 19th and Jefferson became one of the spiciest spots in Tacoma.
The Swiss turns into an urban playground every Friday and Saturday. There aren't any jungle gyms per se, but the men are usually tall enough for that.
It's a perfect place for the attention deficit disorder. The main bar is great for boozing, socializing and ass slapping. The back room houses bar games, and that's where you'll most likely find the playas. The center stage and dance floor are for the blaring cover bands. I love it when Kry plays Weezer's "Beverly Hills." You'll also see white trash '80s dancing with The Retros and what looks like MTV's "The Grind" as hip-hop is spun when the bands take their breaks.
Droves of people ambush the place on the weekends. Dirty South Soldiers: You MUST be prepared. Here's your survival kit:
Eat all of the pizza and pasta you can at The Rock, right next door, to brace your body for the damage you're about to do. Order a bucket (a beachlike sand bucket full of yummy jungle juice) so you won't be able to feel your toes when they're getting stomped on later. Better yet, order Valerie the bartender's grape nehi. I'd drink 'em until I got canker sores if I thought my liver could stand it.
Arm yourself with plenty of cash for the cover and booze at the Swiss. Waiting for your card at the end of the night takes forever; plus let's be real, how many of us actually remember to close out?
Arrive before 10 p.m. so you won't have to wait in line to get in.
Use the bathrooms in the back of the bar; they're typically less congested.
The crowd ordering drinks at the front bar is pretty unbearable. Whenever possible, go to Bob's mini bar in the back for bottled beer and shots. That's the fastest way to get service. If your taste is more refined, get to the front of the line and try something new from any of the 36 beers on tap. The Swiss regularly rotates its kegs so you can increase your microbrew IQ. I think that's hot.
Trying to muster the courage to talk to that special someone? Take a Vitamin C shot, and then go get it, get it.
If you have the chance, sit at the bar. It's another great way to get service, and it's fun to watch the chaos. Each of the bartenders has a different kind of magical charisma, and I'm secretly in love with all of them.
Really, the best advice I can offer about the Swiss is you just gotta rock it.
See ya there.
The Swiss, 1904 Jefferson Ave. S., downtown Tacoma, (253) 572-2821. - Natasha

The Lakewood Playhouse offers a pay what you can performance tonight for "Fiddler On the Roof."  They start selling tickets at 7 p.m. for the 8 p.m. performance. 
This musical about a Russian village at the rise of communism never gets old because, at its heart, the show is a look at family and the role of traditions to keep the family together and when those same traditions work to drive it apart. The show runs through April 30, with showtimes at 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday. "Fiddler" is a staple of community theater because it is a well-known work with a lot of roles for everyone. And it just seems fitting that a play about a community take a community to stage it well. The theater is located at 5729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd., Lakewood. Tickets are $12 to $20 and available by calling (253) 588-0042. - Steve Dunkelberger

Blabbermouth reports: Comes With The Fall vocalist William DuVall will join the reunited Alice in Chains for their European tour. - Brad Allen

Bobble Tiki is reaching that stage of his life where if he were cast as a character on a WB drama it would not be in the role of the troubled young stud. Sadly, he'd wind up as the worldly yet stylish teacher who helps to impart some life lesson every sixth episode or so to the brazen young stud and his friends. Bobble Tiki can live with this knowing that there are still those who are even older than he (unbelievable but true). One of those folks - if only by a couple of years - is singer Paul Wilkinson from the Tacoma band Who Cares.  He's not crotchety old.  He wouldn't yell at you while you stomped on his lawn.  He's wise old and knows what works.  He and bandmate Blue Haired Dave have masterminded the acoustic punk comedy team Who Cares, the top comedy act on Myspace for a while.  Doesn't Myspace have a billion participants?  Anyway, they also cooked up the White Trash Nights at Hell's Kitchen where rock, theater and titillation scrape the legal threshold before tumbling into laughter.  It's VH1's "The Surreal Life" meets Howard Stern.  It's also on Hell's Kitchen's docket twice this week: Last night The Lucky Devils, The Voodoo Organist and The Devils Drums rocked the joint; and tonight the Sesame Street Gangsters, Phillip Roebuck, Esmerelda Strange and 1ManBanjo are in the house of hell.  Paul and Dave play and emcee the 21 and older event.  Bobble Tiki used to hit every show, but not so much anymore.  He has bad knees.  You need good knees for White Trash Night. April 6, 9:30 p.m., $2, Hell's Kitchen, 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, (253) 759-6003. - Bobble Tiki

We incorrectly listed Ed Hamell's show at the Northern Pacific Coffee Company happening Saturday instead of the correct date, Sunday, April 9.
We suck.

Here is the corrected version:
Ed Hamell
A bald guy with black rimmed glasses and an acoustic guitar may not seem like what you'd associate the words "badass" or "riotous smart performer," but trust me, they fit. Ed Hamell - once in a band but now free of the constraints of a shared tour van - enjoys going it alone. His entirely unique twist on the solo acoustic performer image is one that will leave its impression on you for days. Sharp black comedy rips out of his throat with precision timing and skilled delivery, set off by cord after cord of angry, powerful guitar. Dirty jokes tied into political ranting mixed with loud, pounding original music burst from Hamell like he's been holding his breath waiting for George W. to make it through one public appearance without saying, "Um, yeah, the American people."  Hamell's latest offering, Songs For Parents who Enjoy Drugs (Righteous Babe, 2006), is a deliciously snarky step into the world of parenting. Irony reigns supreme, and finding the title of folk-singer revolting, Hamell proves you can rock without a stack of Marshalls. Sunday, April 9, 7:15 p.m., all ages, Northern Pacific Coffee Company, 401 Garfield St. S., Parkland. - Jennifer Johnson

The Seattle Seahawks have just released their schedule for next year. 
Week 1 (Sunday, Sept. 10): Seattle at Detroit
Week 2 (Sunday, Sept. 17): Arizona at Seattle
Week 3 (Sunday, Sept. 24): New York Giants at Seattle
Week 4 (Sunday, Oct. 1): Seattle at Chicago
Week 5: Bye
Week 6 (Sunday, Oct. 15): Seattle at St. Louis
Week 7 (Sunday, Oct. 22): Minnesota at Seattle
Week 8 (Sunday, Oct. 29): Seattle at Kansas City
Week 9 (Monday, Nov. 6): Oakland at Seattle
Week 10 (Sunday, Nov. 12): St. Louis at Seattle
Week 11 (Sunday, Nov. 19): Seattle at San Francisco
Week 12 (Monday, Nov. 27): Green Bay at Seattle
Week 13 (Sunday, Dec. 3): Seattle at Denver
Week 14 (Sunday, Dec. 10): Seattle at Arizona
Week 15 (Thursday, Dec. 14): San Francisco at Seattle
Week 16 (Sunday, Dec. 24): San Diego at Seattle
Week 17 (Sunday, Dec. 31): Seattle at Tampa Bay

Two Monday night games - nice! - Brad Allen

NPR Reports: Though she defies most conventional genre labels, singer Neko Case swings somewhere between the worlds of heavy art rock and bittersweet country. Currently on tour for her latest CD, Fox Confessor Brings the Flood, Case visits Washington, DC's 9:30 Club for a night of music, webcast live in its entirety on NPR.org April 9. Hear the full concert online beginning at approximately 7 p.m. PDT.
"Lots of her songs reflect on her life and hometown," says Melissa Rohlfs, media relations manager at the University of Puget Sound.  "She actually did an interview about two weeks ago on the network. I guess they decided to broadcast one of her concerts too."
A link to hear the show will be available on here closer to the scheduled show time of 6:45 pm PDT April 9. - Brad Allen

Female Iron Maiden tribute band "The Iron Maidens" visit Tacoma in June for two hellfire shows - June 16 at the Swiss and June 24 at the Cat Box.  Few details are available but stay tuned to the band's Web site. - Brad Allen

The word on the street is that Syren, the new club replacing the old Panimonicas, will postpone its opening until May.  We may have more intel by the end of April. - Brad Allen

Want to get a good laugh? Spend some time in Jazzbones balcony and watch people going to the bathroom (c'mon, you know what I mean, sicko).  The light to the bathroom is not on the inside by the door, but instead straight ahead above the towel rack on the opposite wall.  Most people either give up or tinkle in the dark.  Hope this helps. - Brad Allen