LADY-BIT PRODUCTS SOLD AT 200 DECIBELS>>>

After a late night restaurant shift, I headed home, microwaved a burrito and plopped myself on the couch to watch some good late-night TV. Alright, it was bad late-night TV, but I can't deny myself a 12-hour marathon of TLC's I Didn't Know I was Pregnant.

I made sure to turn the volume down low, because my roommate was sleeping just one door down. But, just as I was getting sleepy-eyed, BOOM, a commercial for Tampons came blaring from the screen. And before I could locate the remote (It was in the kitchen. Weird.) another commercial (for Vagisil) came on equally as loud. My drowsy-eyed roommate stumbled through his bedroom door and asked why I was watching vagina commercials so loudly. I wondered the same thing.

According to Thehill.com, television commercials are often nearly twice as loud as the programs in between. Thankfully, congress passed a law that will require the FCC to regulate television commercial volumes (The Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation Act).

Unthankfully, we have to wait until December 2011 before the loud vagina commercials end. So.. until then... don't leave your remote in the kitchen.

JUDY FREAKING SHEPARD IS COMING TO SPEAK AT SPSCC >>>

Gay-rights activist Judy Shepard will speak Friday in Olympia. Shepard is not a household name, but her late son is. Matthew Shepard was the gay college student who was beaten to death in 1998 in Laramie, Wyoming.

"I think I'm a little angrier now than I was when Matt passed, because I thought things would move a little faster," Judy Shepard said last week at a speech at Loyola University in Chicago.

The play and HBO special The Laramie Project have continued to draw attention to the crime. Shepard himself, a slight and sweet-faced young man, can be seen in footage from the documentary film "Dear Jesse," shot 2 years before his death.

Judy Shepard's speech is sponsored by the Matthew Shepard Foundation and the South Puget Sound Community College Queer-Straight Alliance - whose Facebook page announces the event with the headline "Judy FREAKING Shepard Is Coming to Speak at SPSCC" and a photograph of a yowling cat captioned "OMG!!!"

[Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts, Judy Shepard, Friday, Feb. 18, 7:30 p.m., donations accepted, 2011 Mottman Road S.W., Olympia, 360.753.8586 or washingtoncenter.org]

ONLINE CHATTER >>>

Today's comment of the day comes from Rob in regard to Brett Cihon's recent feature story on the life of a cover band - specifically, Stir Crazy.

Rob writes,

While I generally do not favor the sparkly-shirted cover band genre (local and original is more my cup of tea), If I had to choose, I'd rather hear the ‘hits' from the live band than from an ipod or DJ. As a fellow musician, I hate to see any opportunity dry up for anyone with the balls to take to the stage, regardless of their style, schtick, or genre.

THURSDAY, FEB. 17, 2011 >>>

1. Don't even act like you're not going, Olympians. The Weekly Volcano is celebrating this week's first-ever Best of Olympia issue by blowing the roof off The Brotherhood Lounge, beginning at 9 p.m. No cover. Old School Pizza, free. Live music by DJ James, the Dirty Birds, Morgan & the Organ Donors and Western Hymn. Thurston County's best and brightest. A killer raffle. And, best of all, your favorite local Volcano "celebrities," including the cool chick who bartends and that dude with the neck problem.

2. Greater downtown Tacoma art galleries, museums and businesses will host artists and artwork from 5-8 p.m. as part of the Tacoma Third Thursday Artwalk. Mineral gallery hosts Contour Intervals, an exhibition of paintings by Selinda Sheridan. Juliette Ricci will be selling her art at Sanford and Sons Antiques. Viceroy Art Gallery featuring new paintings by C. Michael Wiswell and Nice Threads - an installation featuring 7,000 feet of colored string by the Dead End Boys.  Mavi Contemporary Art will host Michael Croman, William Turner, William Quinn and Christopher Mathie. The 253 Collective will feature artist Alisa Rasmussen. These are just a few of the participating venues.

3. Tacoma Community College hosts some of Louisiana's finest musicians at 7:30 p.m. Tab Benoit, Cyril Nevill, Anders Osborne, Big Chief Monk Boudreaux, Johnny Vidacovich, Jumpin' Johnny Sansone and Waylon Thibodeaux will perform in the TCC Theatre under the title "The Voice of the Wetlands All-Stars in Concert."

4. The Harmon Brewery has new tables, painted walls, food menu, drink list, wine list and more. To celebrate its new things the downtown Tacoma restaurant will host a party 5-7 p.m. offering a sampling of its new menu. At 8 p.m. the human jukebox Steve Stefanowicz will perform.

5. Nate Jackson organizes a super funny collection of super comedians weekly, which is super. He's a super funny comic himself, so much so that he reigned supreme at the same Bay Area Black Comedy Competition won previously by Mark Curry and Jamie Foxx. Super! He promises nationally known headliners every Thursday night at 8 p.m. inside the Varsity Grill, which is amazingly super. Unfortunately, one of those comedians was Marc Price, aka "Skippy" on Family Ties. ... OK, but the rest? Super.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

KICK ASS MUSIC COVERAGE IN PRINT AND ONLINE >>>

Our Best of Olympia is on the streets. Our heads hurt from last night's post production shindig. And now we are doing our hair and nails for tonight's big Best of Olympia bash at The Brotherhood Lounge. It's quite exciting around the Weekly Volcano World Headquarters. However, it's business as usual and there's a new Weekly Volcano music section for you to drool over.

Here's a peek at the sonic goodness in store in print and online. ...

Macklemore

Ladies, it's time to break out that sexy piece of clothing you've had sitting in your closet for a very special occasion, because Justin Bieber - I mean Macklemore - is coming to The Royal Lounge in Olympia Thursday, Feb. 24 - fulfilling every 16-year-old girl's dreams. If you've been in a coma for the past year or so you may not have noticed the damage Macklemore has been doing to the hip-hop world. This guy is blowing the fuck up! Not only have he and Ryan Lewis sold out the Showbox a record three times  - each time in under 48 hours - but they're currently selling out pretty much every show lined up for Macklemore's upcoming nationwide tour that begins next week. Read the full story here. - Nic Leonard

Arbouretum and Eternal Tapestry

Time to break your wizard bong out of storage: The Wednesday, Feb. 23 show at Northern promises to be intensely psychedelic. Arbouretum are set to perform with Oregonian jammers Eternal Tapestry, their comrades on a brief West Coast tour that's bringing both bands' gargantuan riffing and hypnotic arrangements to eager ears from SoCal to Seattle. Read the full story here. - Jason Baxter

Bacchus and Chief

One of Olympia's most beloved bartenders is celebrating 10 years of pouring stiffies at the Brotherhood Lounge. And he's celebrating old school style, with two epic Oly bands. (More on that in a minute.) The bartender in question is Buck Huber, and he's one of a kind. Equally witty, charming and predictable, Huber is always ready with a drink, a smile and a Mohawk in varying stages of growth. But perhaps, in this writer's opinion, what makes Huber such an amazing human being and bartender is his magical powers - specifically the power to bring together two quintessential Olympia bands for one night only - a rock star reunion extravaganza.  It's Chief! And Bacchus! Together! Read the full story here. - Nikki Talotta

LINK: Our critics' live music picks this week

LINK: Big concerts going on sale this week

LINK: Nightly live music in the South Sound

START THINKING >>>

A national public relations firm sent us a notice that Wes Hannah of Portland's Blossoming Lotus was named one of the nation's hottest chefs by food blog Eater Chef.

Neat.

From the press release:

This week, after several rounds of voting, winners for each of seven major cities were identified.  They've been officially crowned to be the hottest chef in each of their respective cities.  The regional winners are:

• Chicago: Merlin Verrier, exec chef of Graham Elliot
• Los Angeles: Jen Green, chef of the NomNom Truck
• Austin: Taff Mayberry, pastry chef at Olivia
• Miami: Ana Quincoces, cookbook author
• New York: Vikas Khanna, executive chef at Junoon
• San Francisco: David Bazirgan, executive chef at Fifth Floor
• Portland: Wes Hannah, chef at Blossoming Lotus

Wes Hannah has a great smile, is an incredible Chef and a major dude. His legendary talent and cuisine is All Vegan.  This past August he was interviewed and filmed for a segment of the Food Network's new series Veg Edge, which aired in December 2010.

Last year the Weekly Volcano readers voted Gordon Naccarato of Pacific Grill the sexiest chef in Tacoma. This June, the Weekly Volcano will bust out another sexy issue, asking our readers who's the most sexy in the South Sound.

Besides most sexy chef, what categories would you like to vote on this June?

LINK: Tacoma's Most Sexy 2010

THIRD THURSDAY ARTWALK >>>

As you read in our 5 Things To Do Today post this morning, the Dead End Boys have created another installation inside Viceroy Art Gallery (711 Court A) at Office G|O Architects. Titled Nice Threads, it features more than 7,000 feet of colored thread strung throughout the downtown Tacoma gallery. Check it out from 6-9 p.m. tonight.

LINK: Previously on our website

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Rain or snow showers, hi 44, lo 27

Saturday: Mostly sunny and chilly, hi 44, lo 32

Sunday: Chance of afternoon rain, hi 44, lo 31

>>> FRIDAY, FEB. 18: MAX, THE ANCIENT CRYSTAL SKULL

JoAnn Parks is making "Max, the Ancient Crystal Skull" available for an evening of public viewing and private meditation sessions at Crystal Voyage in Tacoma. The skull is said to be thousands of years old and one of 13 artifacts with mystical properties, including the ability to generate iffy action sequels. It's been featured in documentaries the world over, including appearances on A&E, the Discovery Channel, the Travel Channel and the BBC. Max was bequeathed to Ms. Parks by Lama Norbu, a Guatemalan healer. - Michael Swan

• Crystal Voyage, 7-9 p.m. $25, 2601 E. D St., Suite 201, Tacoma, 253.272.4367

>>> SATURDAY, FEB. 19: PAPER AIRPLANE FLIGHT SCHOOL

He was the smallest, the palest, the weakest. And on top of those devastating preteen setbacks, Sid Anderson, the most unfortunate boy in fourth grade, had to eat "special oranges" for lunch, which didn't exactly help his social standing at Oakbrook Elementary. Still, for all his cruel flaws, when it came to crafting paper airplanes, Anderson was a flat-out ace. He'd fold and crease those origami whiz bangs until they were aerodynamic works of art. And no matter who threw his winged beauties, Anderson's bombers would sail for miles and miles, hovering on the winds of recess like perforated seabirds. The schoolyard thugs would salute the airborne beauties with envy, paying proper respects to Anderson's art before pounding the crap outta him under the jungle gym. Oh well: I have a feeling that Anderson today is a wealthy commercial pilot somewhere east - and that he's passed his paper-plane talents down to his beautiful, popular children. Get in touch with your inner ace and let ‘em fly at the paper Airplane Flight School Saturday at the Olympic Flight Museum.  The event will promote aerospace education with a variety of hands-on activities including an aircraft model contest and, yes, paper airplane construction. — MS

• Olympic Flight Museum, 1-3:30 p.m., $5-$7, 7637-A Old Hwy. 99 SE, Olympia, 360.705.3925
  

>>> SUNDAY, FEB. 20: NORDIC FILM SERIES

President's Weekend could mean you have family functions to avoid. It also could mean all the usual out-of-town haunts will be packed. So ... now's a great time to get in touch with your Scandinavian roots. If you're one of the 5.3 percent of South Sounders who is of Scandinavian descent (OK, I made that up) - and if you're not, just pretend - get in touch with your roots and check out the Nordic Film Series at the Scandinavian Cultural Center.  Sunday, the series opens with the 2000 film The Bench. Go sit in a chair and watch The Bench. — MS

• Scandinavian Cultural Center, 2-4 p.m., Pacific Lutheran University, Park Avenue and South 122nd Street, Parkland, 253.535.7349.

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
Besides working, I plan to slowly and evenly coat layers of gradual self tanning lotion all over my body. I will also make sure I have both the tops and bottoms to all my bikinis. Laying around thumbing through travel guides might be on the agenda, too. My hubby and I are taking our honeymoon, and I've got to prepare for our Hawaiian getaway. Life can be rough sometimes.

BRETT CHIHON Meat Market Correspondent/Features Writer
Since the Best of Oly party at the Broho is tonight, I'll probably be nursing a headache for most of Friday. But on Saturday I plan to get my legs moving and visit the Olympia Old-Time Music Festival going down at The Loft on Cherry. Old-timey music and dancing. Should be a good time.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
This is the weekend my shawty and I will celebrate love and pop culture. It kicks off with the Volcano's awesome Best of Oly party at the BroHo tonight. Then Friday, I'm cooking her a steak dinner, followed by a special dessert. Saturday, we're catching the double feature of Raiders of the Lost Ark and its shot-for-shot, kid-made doppelganger at SIFF. Life is good!

ALEC CLAYTON: Visual Arts Critic
Going to some kind of silly party at The Brotherhood in Oly tonight. Saturday, I'm headed to Seattle to see the play Brother Size at the Seattle Rep.

JENNIFER JOHNSON Food and Lifestyles Writer
I will spend the weekend doing yoga on the beach, visiting galleries in Lahaina, going to the whale festival and hopefully eating some freshly spit-roasted boar. Jealous? You should be, I'm in Maui. :)

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
After a no-plans-weekend that saw me play Florence Nightingale at home, I'm excited to have a little family vacation! We're going to enjoy the three day weekend by taking the train to Portland. We'll hit Powell's a couple times, Stumptown Roasters (at least daily), Kenny & Zukes and possibly put a bird on something before coming home to our fair city.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Nightlife Correspondent
I'm taking the kiddos to tonight's Third Thursday ArtWalk. Saturday, after hitting the Tacoma Mall and the St. Mary's rummage sale, I'll check out the Tacoma Cobras to see how the team is shaping up. Sunday will bring church and jammy time with Netflix.

STEPH DEROSA Features Writer
Whomever coined the phrase "Summer Lovin'" is friggen' brilliant. Just about every damn child we know was born in the February/March time frame (right, Driscoll?).  We are absolutely inundated with birthday parties having RSVP'd "yes" to approximately two every weekend for the next few weeks.  To add, my birthday is next week while my husband's and daughter's are next month.  All these presents and parties are going to break the bank. That's it. I've decided everyone's getting soap on a rope from the dollar store. Lather up, cowboys.

JOE IZENMAN Theater and Music Writer
I was going to say that I had absolutely nothing to do but go beachcombing and eat pasta, but then I remembered this wedding that I keep forgetting I'm going to on Saturday. Hopefully I don't forget on Saturday. ...

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Features Writer
My weekend will likely be spent holed up in my house, finishing my contributions to next week's 2011 Music Issue for the paper.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNN >>>

Some people send out Evites, Facebook messages or launch a phone tree to orchestrate their own big birthday bash. Others, such as Tacoma artist Lynn Di Nino, simply hang out at a neighbor's house in socks. Ironic, since Di Nino has been responsible for some of the biggest bashes in this town.

To Di Nino's surprise, her friends would have other plans for her. Last night, the Tacoma arts community barged in on Di Nino at Sue Pivetta's house with food, gifts and hugs - especially the hugs as Di Nino just returned from Uganda where she and other Puget Sound artists taught members of the Batwa pygmy tribe to explore their creative minds in the midst of their terrible nomadic living conditions.

Sure enough, the partying included an impromptu geo-economic lecture by Di Nino on her experiences in Uganda.

"They (Batwa pygmy tribe) live in the current tense," she told her friends. "They have no tense for the future, and there is no way of even saying how to save for a rainy day."

Di Nino and the other artists taught the villages to express their culture in the art they create rather than simply make trinket baskets that are void of personality. The crew came up with necklace designs made from bottle caps, woven mats and paper mache puppets.

Di Nino is editing photos and organizing a show of the work the group created as a way to promote the cause. Stay tuned. Until then, happy birthday Lynn.

PEDAL TO THE MEDAL ON THE HYPE MACHINE >>>

As we've no doubt drilled into your cranium by now, the Weekly Volcano's Best of Olympia 2011 Issue hits the street TODAY! It's finally here! The issue is totally awesome. I've seen it (read: been completely immersed in it for the last three weeks, leaving me blurry eyed and completely incapable of unbiased opinion).

And, of course, we have our big-ass Best of Olympia 2011 Party tonight!!!! - Thursday, Feb. 17 at The Brotherhood. The Dirty Birds, Western Hymn and Morgan and the Organ Donors will provide the free music, and Oldschool Pizza will provide the free pizza (no joke). Music starts at 9 p.m., but consider arriving a wee-bit early - Bobble Tiki eats a lot of pizza.

In honor of today's release of Best of Olympia 2011, we'd like to present the last batch of honorable mention staff picks, which didn't quite make the print edition, but remain awesome nonetheless.

Best Smell

Weed And Its Devotees

Like a third of all adult Americans, I've sampled marijuana. (Indeed, it's the only possible explanation for my voluntary purchase of an Enya CD in the late 1980s.) For years I scoffed at those who demonize ganja. I insisted the drug was no more addictive, and certainly better for one's long-term mental acuity, than Glee. Then I taught a 7:30 a.m. math class at South Puget Sound Community College, where a young underachiever taught me the true meaning of "wake and bake." On those rare occasions when he stumbled into class before it ended, he left a contrail of stench that called to mind a Cheech & Chong drive-in double feature. Hey, potheads: Is it possible you're so high you can't smell yourself? Are you incapable of realizing you smell like Snoop Dogg's crotch? But as with certain cheeses, your leafy reek stinks like pure heaven. It evokes dreamy weekends rewatching the Holy Trilogy on Spike, and for that, sincere thanks. - Christian Carvajal

[Marijuana, aka cannabis, available throughout the greater Olympia area]

<h3<Best Use Of Honesty In A Dragon T-shirt

Ruby At McCoy's

When you've served enough booze at Olympia's favorite "dive" bar to kill the entire historical registry of Budweiser Clydesdales; had to deal with several years' worth of slobbering drunk idiots swinging at the peanut machine; and cut off enough angry racists who aren't afraid to yell the N-word in public that you just stop telling them "I'm Puerto Rican, bro," sometimes all you can do is don some sweet Frank Frazetta shirts and shrug it off.  Naturally, I speak of Ruby at McCoy's. Of course, besides the Frank Frazetta shirts, letting little Miss Princess in her "It's My 21st" tiara know exactly what you think of her and her loud one-and-only-time-they're-ever-coming-here-just-for-the-free-shots-this-place-is-so-ghetto friends sterling analysis of McCoy's in a monotone wit so dry that it sails over their heads like burnt white toast, also has it perks. "SHORT POUR." - Owen Taylor

[McCoy's Tavern, 418 Fourth Ave., E, Olympia, 360.352.0696]

Best Place To Spend Sunday Drinking Beer & Watching Football

The 4th Ave. Tavern

There's a reason why "Joltin" Joe Moore has won multiple awards. It's not for his conceptualized Pomegranate Choco-tinis. It's not for his showman's flair with flying booze bottles à la Tom Cruise in Cocktail. It's not even for his stellar customer service. It's for his attitude. Moore makes you feel like you're part of the family, even if it's your first time to the 4th Ave. Tav. This is never more apparent than during football season. The bar opens for breakfast and the early game, so Monti can serve up what could arguably be some of Olympia's best biscuits and gravy. With a ton of big screens, and Joe's unmatched hospitality, there's a reason why I still come down from Seattle for Football Sundays with Joe Moore. And if the Vikings are winning, you'll swear you've never seen a happier Minnesotan in winter.- Owen Taylor

[The 4^th Ave. Tavern, 210 Fourth Ave. E, Olympia, 360.786.1444]

Best View Of Capitol Lake And Downtown Olympi

Swing Wine Bar And Café

Swing Wine Bar and Café has the best views of Capitol Lake and downtown Olympia - it's not even close. In a historic building perched on the hillside above town, Swing has ambiance galore, an amazing staff of truly talented professionals and gorgeous views. The table next to the bar is one of the best seats in the house, and Swing offers outside seating in the summer months. Chef Thomas Humbock brings his creativity to this restaurant and regularly changes up the menu with delicious and creative offerings. Swing has one of the best wine and cocktail lists in town with a variety of wine flights. - Brooke McKenzie

[Swing Wine Bar and Café, 825 Columbia St. SW, Olympia, 360.357.9464]

Best Place To Drink Beer And Knit

Skep & Skein Tavern

You may miss a stitch or two while imbibing your brews at the Skep and Skein Tavern, but there are many sage knitters to help you correct your mistakes. Knit night at the tavern is every Wednesday at 5:30 p.m. and some nights it is so busy you can hardly get a seat. Send the men to the bar to play a few rounds of board games, while you get your knit on with the girls at the tables. - BM

[Skep & Skein Tavern, 2106 Harrison Ave. NW, Olympia, skepandskein.com]