ONLINE CHATTER >>>

While there were several shoutouts for our interview with Macklemore, today's comment of the day comes from Bill Schlanbusch in regard to our Spew post fishing for categories for our Most Sexy Issue in June.

Schlanbusch, the 10 foot two lead singer of The Plastards - and one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet - writes:

How about Sexiest Barfly? Just sayin'.

We'll have to give that some serious thought Bill since that describes 90 percent of our editorial staff.

FRIDAY, FEB. 18, 2011 >>>

1. Marcia Ball, Tab Benoit and The Voice Of The Wetlands All-Stars perform at 7:30 p.m. inside the Washington Center in Olympia.

2. Poetry in the 253 - Mouths & Mics, a spoken word open mic hosted by the 2009 Soul of the City Tacoma Poet Laureate and Speak Your Soul poet Antonio Edwards, runs from 7-9 p.m. at the Rain City Café in downtown Tacoma.

3. Pianist Eugene Skovorodnikov will perform classics by Franz Liszt at 7:30 p.m. inside the Schneebeck Concert Hall at the University of Puget Sound.

4. The Bridge nightclub in the Emerald Queen Casino might be the best nightclub in town to meet a love interest. Why? Because the Bridge has live bands every Friday and Saturday night. Tacoma favorites like Idol Eyez (9 p.m. tonight and Saturday) and Raeanns Groove will finish out the month of February. That's two straight weekends of rocking, grooving and dancing in one of the biggest nightclubs in Tacoma. And since it's one of the biggest clubs, it also attracts some of Tacoma's sexiest singles. Gotta like those odds.

5. Taist Of Iron, Under Sin, Hidden Casualties, Feared Alive, Stript and Systemik invade Hell's Kitchen beginning at 7 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: National touring concerts go on sale today

LINK: New movies open today

DUDE TALKS FAST >>>

On President's Day, Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) will roll into Olympia to give a lecture on "The True Cost of War."

During his presidential campaigns in 2004 and 2008, Kucinich was widely seen as the far-left candidate, and he's taken quite a bit of ribbing from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert for his blatant liberalism. But whatever you think of Dennis Kucinich, I can tell you from personal experience he talks faster and with a readier command of the English language than just about anyone you're likely to speak to this week.

"I'm going to be talking about not just Afghanistan, but war across the board," he explains, "and the impact financially, the impact on our troops, the impact on other nations and the impact on our morality."

Read the full interview here.

YOGURT AND COFFEE - A NEW CONCEPT >>>

Neighborhood:  Ft. Steilacoom Park

Address:  8520 Steilacoom Blvd. SW, Lakewood, 253.292.1260

Hours:  6 a.m. to 10 p.m., seven days a week

Standard Cup of Joe:  $3

Bean Source:  They grind Dillano coffee.

Crowd:  Everyone from eigth to 80 for the coffee and yogurt.  "We'll serve anyone and provide a great coffee and or yogurt experience," says owner Jesse Roberge.

WiFi:  Oh yeah.

Noshing/Sipping:  Traditional espresso drinks.  Also, six types of yogurts with more than 25 different toppings are available.

Bonus:  Spotless place with a courteous staff imbued with the attitude of providing the customer with a great experience.  Roomy, nicely lit and a fireplace welcome those who want to sit with friends and talk.

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

THIS WEEK: 86'd

Since Mubarak just got 86'd over in Egypt, and most incidents in the log book end up that way, too, I figure Behind Bars should roll with it and claim this week's theme to be: "86'd."

These gems were taken from the log book just as they were written.

GOD HIMSELF

"God himself came in today. He looks like a door-to-door vacuum salesman from the ‘50s. Very loud. Very red face. Very unmistakable. His family created the universe with $100,000 and extremely loud music. He will build you a space station for the low, low price of $10,000. "It's not as expensive as you think!" Needless to say, he should not be served. Ever. On second thought, he probably won't be on the streets much longer, anyway."

PERSONAL SPACE & BOUNDARIES

"I had a talk with the small, crippled Ethiopian guy about inappropriate touching of strangers. He will have to learn personal space/boundaries or he will be 86'd. Soon, someone will kick his ass, and I don't want it to happen here."

"86'd Sandy, a derelict just out of prison. Orders Cuervo and a long neck.  She was frightening people with her lady parts."

So now that you know what bartenders have nightmares about, order up another round, and check back next week for more low down on weirdos, winos and wild nights at the bar.

"BEHIND BARS" LINK HUB

LINK: More Aural Adventures

LINK: Big & Rich

LINK: Tales From the Incident Log Book

LINK: The Tip Jar

LINK: Aural Adventures

LINK: Smooth Transitions

LINK: The Pooper

SATURDAY, FEB. 19, 2011 >>>

1. Regardless of what Punxsutawney Whatshisface said, the cold, windy weather isn't leaving the South Sound any time soon, which makes it awful hard to leave the house some days. "But it's Saturday!!" you mewl to the bathroom mirror, comb your ratty hair and brave the cold. You're not 16 anymore, dammit - so what if you want to stay home with your crocheting and your favorite loose-leaf tea? Well, the Mad Hat Tea Company has the answer to your recreational conundrum: Your Future in a Cup. From 1-3:30 p.m. at the downtown tea shop, Blanche Goddesstones will read your tea leaves. Most likely the leaves will tell you to get the hell out of the house.

2. Now that he's our resident go-to man for brooding, hark back to a rosier era of Bill Murray-ness by taking in a free screening of Ghostbusters, a riff on Abbott and Costello movies. It eventually devolves into a special-effects fest, but Murray owns it. The Grand Cinema will screen it at 10:30 a.m. on a first-come, first serve basis. Who you gonna to call ... to go with you?

3. At 6 p.m., Orca Books in Olympia will host a free event celebrating the release of Farm Together Now: A portrait of people, places and ideas for a new food movement, a documentation of the insurgent agriculture movement in the United States. The book profiles 20 innovative farms across the country, who are rethinking the connections between food, land, and community, one harvest at a time. Co-editor Daniel Tucker will be in the house.

4. This stage adaptation of Chaim Potok's 1972 classic My Name Is Asher Lev makes its Pacific Northwest debut in a collaboration between Lakewood Playhouse and the Broadway Center for the Performing Arts at the Theatre on the Square. Directed by Marcus Walker, Lakewood Playhouse's managing artistic director, it's the story of a gifted young artist torn between his Hasidic Jewish faith and his passion to paint the truth. This 7:30 p.m. show will be accompanied by an exhibit of modernist paintings by Bo Bartlett.

5. Tacoma jazz saxophonist Kareem Kandi will grab bassist Rob Hutchinson and drummer Andre Thomas and head south for a 8 p.m. show at The Royal Lounge.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Concerts go on sale today

LINK: Wine tastings!

LIVE MUSIC TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

4th Ave Ale House Olympia - Downtown. The Rikk Beatty Band, Sideways Reign. 9 pm.

Bud's Saloon and Steakhouse Milton. Live Music Saturdays with Twang Junkies. 8:30 pm. NC.

Capitol Theater Olympia - Downtown. Middle East Film Festival Gala, with live performance by Invincible, DJs, and screening of "Challenging Power". All Ages. 7 pm. $2-$5.

Doyle's Public House Tacoma - Stadium District. Jerry Miller Trio. 9:30 pm. NC.

Firwood Rock Lounge Tacoma - Downtown. Long Beach Rehab, featuring members of Bad Brains, LBC Sublime, with Offtrak, Bodybox, Achates. 9 pm. $15-$20.

FuSE Cafe Imbibery @ Pt Defiance Cafe & Casino Ruston. Too Many Cooks. All Ages. 8 pm. NC.

Harbor Greens/Forza Wine Bar Gig Harbor. Chicken Joe. 7 pm.

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. Deadside, Sok & The Faggots, The Whorewoods, The Vagabonds, Agodamnation. 9 pm. $5.

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Trombanga. 8 pm. $7-$10.

Le Voyeur Café and Lounge Olympia - Downtown. Hot N Bothered, Koban. 9 pm.

Louie G's Pizzeria Fife. The Plastards, Apache Chief, Wheelies, The Trashholes. All Ages. 8 pm.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. Charles Mack. All Ages. 8:30 pm. $7.

The New Frontier Lounge Tacoma - Dome District. The Cosmonauts, Night Beats, Red Hex. 9:30 pm. $5.

• Cosmonauts may just be the one-millionth psychedelic garage band that I've written about in my time at the Weekly Volcano, and I tell you it's the funniest thing: Though they hail from California, they sound like they could have just as easily been born out in our fair, gritty city. Something about performing in basements and garages seems to bring the grittiness out in any band. Cosmonauts share time equally in mind-melting squalls of Doors-esque acid rock and bursts of sweet, jumpy garage pop confection. This bodes well for them as they will share bill with the thunderous Night Beats and the bratty, eclectic punk rock of Red Hex. It would be more than advisable to bring some earplugs to The New Frontier. - Rev. Adam McKinney
  

Rock the Dock Pub & Grill Tacoma - Downtown. Billy Roy Duo. 8 pm. NC.

Red Wind Casino Yelm. Jonathan Harris. 8:30 pm. NC.

Stonegate Pizza Tacoma - South. Kashmir (Led Zeppelin tribute). 9 pm.

Traditions Cafe and World Folk Art Olympia - Downtown. Jim Page. All Ages. 8 pm. $8-$12.

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

SOCIAL STUDIES >>>

Thursday night was the first annual Best of Olympia Issue party hosted by everyone's favorite free South Sound alternative weekly, the Weekly Volcano. And what a party it was. Held at The Brotherhood Lounge in downtown Olympia, this inaugural event had many things working in its favor. The Broho was voted Best All-Around Bar by our readers for a good reason. We provided free pizza from Oldschool Pizzeria. The music was rockin'. And there were lots of people enjoying themselves on a cold Olympia night.

The room swelled with award winners and partiers right out of the gate, forcing folks to elbow their way back to the bands. Funny, even with our bitchin' raffle prizes, people were more interested in hanging out, drinking and chatting. "You know it's a who's who of the Olympia music and arts scene tonight," the Dirty Birds lead singer Jimmi Davies told me as we toasted his band's second place finish for Best Band in Olympia (The Brown Edition took first, voted by our readers).

Drummer and Olympia icon Jerry Ziegler, who we named Best Olympian this year, was in the house, too.

The Weekly Volcano would like to thank Pit, Nikki, the sound guy (you rock) and the whole Brotherhood Lounge crew for hosting the party. They went out of their way to make sure everything ran smoothly. We would like to thank Oldschool Pizzeria for the delicious pizza. They'll certainly be a strong contender in our Tournament of Pizza next month. We would like to thank DJ James for spinning between sets. A huge thanks to Morgan and the Organ Donors, Western Hymn and the Dirty Birds for rocking the joint. I've seen the Dirty Birds perform two-dozen or more times and I'd have to say this was a top five performance. Thanks to Sean Peterson for emceeing the party and the random trivia questions. And a big thanks and hug to the Washington Center for sponsoring the issue and donating raffle prizes.

We'll post the Best of Olympia 2011 issue on our website Thursday. In the meantime, the issue is nestled inside the Weekly Volcano from Federal Way to Tumwater.

Below are a few shots from Thursday's party. There's more shots in our Photo Hot Spot here. Unfortunately, I don't have any shots from Morgan and the Organ Donors performance as I had to run out for more batteries.

The best of Olympia turned out Thursday night. Thanks for the fun time Oly!

SUNDAY, FEB. 20, 2011 >>>

1. DJ Defcon1 spins industrial, Goth, punk and alternative music at Hell's Kitchen's Sunday Sermon beginning at 9 p.m.

2. It's Kids 'n' Critters weekend at Northwest Trek. From 9:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. special nature-themed arts and crafts, trailside encounters and a detective game will hit the massive animal park.

3. Wedding Walk Tacoma expo promises to introduce prospective brides, grooms, wedding attendants and their families and friends to the Gritty City as a one-stop shopping destination for the Big Day from noon to 6 p.m. at downtown businesses and museums along Pacific Avenue from South 15th to South 21st streets. They'll be treated to top-notch food and beverages while touring the city's most beautiful places to get married. More than 60 vendors will present their best desserts, services, hors d'oeuvres, fashion, signature cocktails and more, all in an effort to drum up business as wedding season approaches.

4. This stage adaptation of Chaim Potok's 1972 classic My Name Is Asher Lev makes its Pacific Northwest debut in a collaboration between Lakewood Playhouse and the Broadway Center for the Performing Arts at the Theatre on the Square at 3 and 7:30 p.m. inside the Theatre on the Square. Directed by Marcus Walker, Lakewood Playhouse's managing artistic director, it's the story of a gifted young artist torn between his Hasidic Jewish faith and his passion to paint the truth.

5. Local country band Broken Trail will be hosting Parkland's Lady Luck Cowgirl Up jam beginning at 4 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LIVE MUSIC TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

Ballyhoo Irish Pub Tumwater. Sean-nos Festival Afterparty Irish Session. 6 pm. NC.

The Brotherhood Lounge Olympia - Downtown. Chief, Bacchus. 9 pm. $3.

• This will be the most incredible show you will experience. Ever. Bacchus is one of few bands to actually hit the brown note. (You know, a rumble so deep in your gut, induced by stacks of amps and low-fi bass lines that you actually produce a shard in your pants.) Chief is the revolutionary leader of any punk music to come out of Olympia. And they can still kick anyone's ass. Read the story behind this show here. – Nikki Talotta
  

Dawson's Bar and Grill Tacoma - South. Blues Jam, hosted by Tim Hall. 8 pm.

Immanuel Presbyterian Church Tacoma - Northend. Blues Vespers, featuring Bill Simms Jr. & Mark LaVoie. All Ages. 5 pm. NC.

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Long Beach Rehab, featuring members of Bad Brains, LBC Sublime, with Michael J. Harris, Under Sin, Corson Swift. 9 pm.

Lady Luck Cowgirl Up Tacoma - Parkland. Country jam featuring Broken Trail. 4 pm.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. Open Mic, with Denny Foreman & Friends. All Ages. 6 pm. NC.

Northern Olympia - Downtown. Brainstorm, Sick Jumps, Hausu, Outdoor Voices. All Ages. 8 pm. $5.

• On "She's a Babe," you can barely make out Ben Funkhouser singing "I miss my mom and my cats," a line that's as painfully earnest as it is deeply ironic - at least when you consider Hausu's namesake: a gruesome, impossibly over-the-top Japanese horror classic in which a fluffy white cat does some horrible, horrible things. While they're far from reaching the kind of critical infamy and legendary cult status that Hausu the film enjoys, Hausu the band are already turning heads and winning fans in the Seattle and Portland music communities, and not without reason. Their take on Orange Juicy post-punk is joyous, with shades of Springsteen's small town angst in its sing-along choruses, and despite the relative youth of these four Reed College students, Hausu are seriously talented musicians. - Jason Baxter

The Spar Tacoma - Old Town. Junkyard Jane. 7 pm. NC.

Steilacoom Pub and Grill Steilacoom. Sunday open mic with Jeanlizabeth. 8 pm. NC.

Stonegate Pizza Tacoma - South. Sunday Jazz Dinner Show. All Ages. 5-8 pm. NC.

Traditions Cafe and World Folk Art Olympia - Downtown. Bluegrass & Acoustic Music Jam. All Ages. 2 pm. NC.

Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill Spanaway. Sunday Blues Jam Night. Hosted by Shelly Ely. 7-10 pm.

Urban Onion Restaurant and Lounge Olympia - Downtown. Sunday Night Swing Kelly Garland Benefit, featuring Vince Brown. All Ages. 7 pm.

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound